1420 posts 3/21/2017 6:35 am
Last Read:
2/3/2023 2:43 am
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The perfect woman, not my type?
I am so excited! I have received my first message, from another country. You know, the blurred one, that I can not read unless I buy membership. It probably says 'You look handsome. BTW, have you a bank account?' I won't be buying membership anytime soon. Not even to read it. I think, being in another country, she is defo not my type.
But I could let my imagination take over once more, and think about all the sexual detail, sensual innuendo, erotica, and promises made, for when we meet. Oh, the times we would spend together...if I only gave her my credit card details, so she could verify me, ah the poor girl, she had such tough times, she can not trust anyone, without a credit card!
But she is not my type! She is around mid twenties, somewhere in the middle between the ages of my two daughters. I have my own limits when it comes to age, the age of the women I like to meet. Women I am looking to play with have to be at least a few years above the age of my older one, to be my type. I am old fashioned. I would go with someone much younger than me, but not younger than my older . Plus some women of lets say mid thirties, have not even had their yet, or they have very young ones on tow. What would a man of my age, who does not want anymore , want to do with them? Nothing wrong with you gals of that age of course, just not for me.
So up the age to another decade at least, for my lowest limit, from mid forties, now, that's my type. For a girlfriend kind of woman, a regular thing.
On the other hand,
just for fun,
one night stand,
no thank you ma'am...
oops, I almost forgot, I don't do those! But women in mid 30's would be my type, then. If I did! Now, why any mid thirties woman would want to date a mid fifties man, ( talking about me, not a shipowner ), apart from the old question about stamina vs experience, the wishful thinking, and the fact that we all have different taste as to what rocks our boat, all else that comes to mind is something about the Oedipus complex, and then it goes dark and beyond me.
What is 'my type'?
From mid 40's and up. Has had , knows what she wants, happy in her own skin. I hope!
Blonde. I promised myself my next girlfriend will be a blondie.
Long hair. I have my weaknesses.
Slim-ish. I am only slim myself and prefer it that way.
Up to 5' 4'', 5' 5'' max! My towering 5' 7'', and my love of her high heels! Or she can be taller but only come out bear foot, and wear heels in bed!
With mind. I have one, sometimes.
Has free time once a week. Next gardening competition winners, knitting champions, and gym fans need not apply.
Local. I am not trekking through 4 hours of traffic there and back just to hear what kind of day you had. Ok, throw dinner and a blowjob with that, and I am on my way!!! All rules have exceptions.
Drinker. I do. And I want to see her drunk.
Smoker. I do. And I want to kiss her.
Looking for casual fun or open to something more regular. I do, I think.
Car and job. Sometimes she will drive, and pay! We sharing, remember?
Add the integrity, sense of humor, honesty, high heels....
Erm, an olive grove owner in a Greek island? Ok, just wishful thinking. But even without the olive grove, she seems quite a catch. A rare creature? Remind me, why am I still a single man?  And for how long more? 
I think I will quit looking for 'my type' and start looking for the perfect woman. Turns up naked, brings beer. She should be easier to find!
Wanna joke? Or two?
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror
as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the
next hole.
The ball hit one of the men.
He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the
ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to
apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and
I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him.
'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man
replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the foetal position, still clasping
his hands there at his groin.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She
gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened
his pants and put her hands inside.
She administered tender and artful massage for several long
moments and asked, 'How does that feel'?
He replied: It feels great, but I think my thumb's still broken!
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Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, 'Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up.'
'Sure,' they said, 'You're welcome.' So they started playing and enjoyed
the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, 'What do you do for a living?'
'I'm a hit man,' was the reply.
'You're joking!' was the response.
'No, I'm not,' he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. 'Here are my tools.'
'That's a beautiful telescopic sight,' said the other friend, 'Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here.' So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.
'Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window.' 'Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can
see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her...... He's naked, too!!!
He turned to the hit man, 'How much do you charge for a hit?'
'I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger.'
'Can you do two for me now?'
'Sure, what do you want?'
'First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.'
'Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his d!ck off to teach him a lesson.'
The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.
'Are you going to do it or not?' said the friend impatiently.
'Just be patient,' said the hit man calmly, 'I think I can save you a grand here.....'
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Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men. That night all three will wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes. After a few days they meet up for lunch.
The engaged woman: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, You are the woman of my life. I love you. Then we made love all night long.
The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night.
The married woman: I sent the to stay at my mothers house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said, “What's for dinner, Batman?”
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9 WORDS WOMEN USE
1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever' ).
8 ) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying FucK YOU!
9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
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4077 posts 3/21/2017 6:38 am |
I am still hell bend on perfect, or near enough to it. Hence a single man for years! Even if no one is perfect, there must be some who come close.
Do you look for your type or perfect partner only, or would you be happy to settle with anything good enough, until the perfect one come along?
Do you have a type, or are you one of those who will know when they find it?
Oh please, do tell!
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37235 posts 3/21/2017 7:08 am |
Wow how long have you been awake?? This was a real ripping start to my Tuesday morning!!! Loved every word!! Want to meet me at Ty'n Rhos House and we can moon them all from the garden
(Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group
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16552 posts 3/21/2017 7:09 am |
I'm looking for near perfect or I just can't be bothered.
Great jokes! 
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4077 posts 3/21/2017 7:23 am |
Quoting pocogato12:
Wow how long have you been awake?? This was a real ripping start to my Tuesday morning!!! Loved every word!! Want to meet me at Ty'n Rhos House and we can moon them all from the garden
Hi pocogato, moon them all from the garden? Why not?
Although I feel mixed messages here Thanx!
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4077 posts 3/21/2017 7:25 am |
Quoting goodatpoetry2:
I'm looking for near perfect or I just can't be bothered.
Great jokes!
Hi goodatpoetry. Quite right too. Perfect or not worth the bother. Thanx!
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4077 posts 3/21/2017 8:28 am |
Quoting sddl63:
u will learn- there is a song with a line in it-"first I look at the purse" - I discuss my money with someone I do not know- and it takes a lot to get to know and trust some one
hey sddl63 and thanx for the visit. Oh, I am learning every day!
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7262 posts 3/21/2017 9:43 am |
I'd say close enough to perfect for me which means interesting and compatible.
Now that's customer service, saving someone a grand! 
Vive La Difference
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859 posts 3/21/2017 11:49 am |
Great jokes.....
  Today i broke my personal record for most consecutive days alive. 
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4077 posts 3/21/2017 12:24 pm |
Quoting tickles4us:
I'd say close enough to perfect for me which means interesting and compatible.
Now that's customer service, saving someone a grand!
Hey tickles, a woman who is interesting, compatible, and makes you a grand better of, this is absolute perfection we talking about lol!
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4077 posts 3/21/2017 12:27 pm |
Thanx qwerty, welcome to them. Plenty here, on this blog, I think in every post.
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32404 posts 3/21/2017 3:41 pm |
my type.
there is no physical type. it's more the carriage. the way he believes he is. The man that owns the room is not the man with the best suit but the man who doesn't care about the suit.
it isn't the man who turns the eye, it is the man who has eyes only for you.
You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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4077 posts 3/21/2017 4:20 pm |
Hi wickedeasy and thanx for the wise words! ...the way he believes he is...like sex appeal? 50% of what you got and 50% of what others think you got! As for the carriages, I am sure some with no shiny wheels have other special attributes, to make one feel comfortable.
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4077 posts 3/22/2017 1:42 am |
Glad you like the jokes author51. And the stories. Some people will call us, those with self regulated limits, silly. Missing the chance of a much younger lover. From about 10 women I know, around my age, who all have gone with someone half their age, 7 have said they regret it. One was drunk and does not remember much, and the other 2, well the other two are the kind that, if it moves, they fuck it. I rather have morals with a dirty mind....which reminds me....errm, French maids....I luv them, and your pic! Thanx!
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4077 posts 3/23/2017 2:08 am |
Experience does it for me too. And I also think it's not right to have a bed partner as old as your kids. You do sound an ideal woman.
Are you my type?
Are you the perfect woman?
Have you got a blonde wig? An olivegrove?
Did you say dinner?
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4511 posts 3/23/2017 3:56 am |
The perfect one, the characteristics change according to my age and taste. So strange to contemplate what I had in my 30s and to say today, what was I thinking?
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4077 posts 3/23/2017 4:58 am |
Quoting missthee:
The perfect one, the characteristics change according to my age and taste. So strange to contemplate what I had in my 30s and to say today, what was I thinking?
Hi missthee! I like your take, the character of the perfect one, being dynamic, changing with our taste, age, and mood! In my 30's I was a married man. It rarely felt like perfection. It must of felt good at times, after all, I had married her lol. Now, thinking perfection, all that comes to mind, is some woman in metallic green, outside my door, with the beers, of course! She is not blonde but I love her hair! I wonder, any room in your age and taste for greekphilosophers visiting town in the summer, for a fredo?
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3997 posts 3/25/2017 3:36 am |
Well, Philosopher I am perfectly imperfect for you. Except maybe the blonde hair, but you wouldn't know that if you aren't a member and cannot see pics. I'll still follow your unique and amusing blog. I'll probably learn something. xoxo
Please read my blog The Sapiophiles Sapiogurl
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4077 posts 3/25/2017 3:54 am |
Quoting Sapiogurl:
Well, Philosopher I am perfectly imperfect for you. Except maybe the blonde hair, but you wouldn't know that if you aren't a member and cannot see pics. I'll still follow your unique and amusing blog. I'll probably learn something. xoxo
Hey sapiogurl, welcome to my blog and thanx for your comment. Unique and amusing? Ah, the blonde hair! There will be exceptions to my rules, especially for an analogue gurl, good with her digits. I am good with my hands too, I once made a house out of cards! If it is only the hair that makes you my type, it's a start! We can build on that. As for the pics, I can only imagine...
And just 3191 miles to go!
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4077 posts 5/7/2017 2:18 am |
The blonde is in the "my type" category, wantingsexymind. The one who is hard to find, hence opting out for the perfect woman, just turn up naked, bring beers. Heineken please. Adding cheese and onion crisps, brings you to the top of the perfect list!
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