Caught swinging  

40Deuce 42M
5328 posts
5/3/2017 5:21 pm

Last Read:
5/5/2017 6:59 pm

Caught swinging

I got an e-mail with that subject the other day . I was quit disappointed when it turned out to be baseball spam . Is there anything worse than expecting porn and getting baseball , the anti-porn ? Yes , but it still stinks .

If you had to for some reason which would you pick to be forced to do watch a baseball game or watch a soccer match ? I think I'd go with soccer because there's a time limit on that boredom whereas a baseball game could theoretically last forever (instead of just seeming like it does) .

A big old glob (hey that's an anagram of blog ! ) of sour cream has only 1 gram of sugar . That's my new thing . Everything in moderation ? Fuck that ! Imma eat a tub of sour cream every damn day . And I'm going to drink nothing but Disappointed Russians which for those of you that don't know is vodka , coffee liqueur and sour cream . Also I'm going to start drinking booze .

There was a pretty good blog post on here about a lady going to a swingers party but to me it sounded like just a sex party (member when I went to one of those ? Member , member ? ) as it was just a bunch of people banging all over the place . To me swinging is analogous with swapping - but that's just me , all these labels are basically meaningless - it's all just people fuckin' . I find it amusing when people write very earnest and "important" posts about what FWB vs NSA vs Fuckbuddy mean . If I've learned anything in my life , and I haven't , it's that nothing means anything .

Remember back in the late 90's when swing music was the fad for a while ? Whenever a type of music that no one really gives a shit about because inexplicably popular for a while I wonder - do the people who make that kind of music know what the deal is and just enjoy the ride while it lasts or do they expect it to last ? Was Jimbo Mathus saying "I'm the king of the world ! I'm going straight to the top and I'm never coming down ! Wooooooooooo ! I am immortal !!!"

It used to drive me nuts when I would wear my Voodoo Glow Skulls shirt and people would say "Oh man I love Big Bad Voodoo Daddy" ! Now I wouldn't care . Cuz I don't care about nothin' !

Remember in drivers ed when they made it seem like running to the street to get a ball was a thing that happened constantly ? It happened by me for the first time ever . It wasn't even little either . I'm not good at estimating ages but these dudes looked to me to be about 12-13 walking to the basketball court . One was dribbling the ball (and palming it like crazy like LeBron , oh snap ! ) and then like a moron (or Michael Westbrook , ah snap ! ) he dribbled it off his foot and he ran our into the street like a confused squirrel and his friend yanked him back before 77 cars hit him .

It was probably staged for youtub or something though .

I thought about buying a new tool set today and I realized that this is the reason why we have such a garbage generating society . The hammer has some rust on it but it still hammers just fine . The tape measure doesn't retract all the way but it still measures just fine . There's a chip in the handle of the screwdriver but it still screws just fine (like your momma ! ) . So why do I want a new one ? Because I want it to look nice . I want form AND function damn it !

If you ask any expert in the field what the single most notable social characteristic
of medieval life was they'd say the bells . It sounds strange to the modern ear but bells defined the age . They tolled for every occasion , sunrise , sunset , the start of curfew , the end of curfew , call to worship , to announce events , to warn of danger . Life was all clamor , quiet was an anomaly . Then after several hundred years of social calm and tranquility we build the cellphone telephone which also chimes at ever opportunity .

The difference is instead of connecting us more intimately with our social peers and neighbors it actively divides us - it fosters an atmosphere of merciless self involvement parading in the guise of spurious conviviality .

In medieval times the bigwigs of society celebrated their level of cupidity , their huge feasts , their crazy processions , their ornate costumes , that were by any historical standard obscene . And here today in the belly of the decadent west we cheerfully do the same . We define our power and our status through gratuitous and meaningless acts of consumption .

Their tournament , their jousts , their made up chivalry and all those bizarre and convoluted rituals of etiquette - those faux historical games of form are all neatly echoed in our present day passions . They had King Arthur , we have Luke Skywalker and Neo and Harry Potter . All invented mythologies . We inhabit this worlds as if they are real . We respond to them intellectually even though they aren't remotely intelligent . We encourage our to play video games that simulate life , to mirror it , because we're too afraid to let them set foot out the door . We allow them to fight violent artificial wars on screens while we carefully remove ourselves from the consequences of real conflict .

Our greatest invention , the computer , a device intended to set us free to live lives unconstrained by mindless tedium has ended up blinding us more thoroughly than anything before but filling the world with reams and reams of useless and usually unreliable information - and endless almost unstoppable babble .

Anyway I think I'm going to buy a new tool set .

Also I'd really like to out my erect penis in someone's butthole .

I should have done more of that when I could maintain an erection long enough to do it easily . But alas . And to a less extent alack .

Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.

superbjversion2 64F  
16959 posts
5/3/2017 5:33 pm

If you're going to start drinking (which I doubt) try a Blue Frog ..... 1.5 oz vodka in a glass of lemonade. Always best to start simple, with something you like.

I put the sex in sexagenarian

40Deuce replies on 5/3/2017 6:10 pm:
Why is it called a blue frog ? Also do you know how much sugar is in lemonade ? It's bonkers SBJ

smartasswoman 61F  
31487 posts
5/3/2017 8:12 pm

I am pretty sure you made up that cocktail, but it's hilarious. This could be a good schtick for you, ironically since you don't drink.

Black Russians got me into a good bit of trouble in my 20's. Including the famous walking over cars incident.

40Deuce replies on 5/5/2017 6:57 pm:
Aren't all cocktails made up ?

Dick4001567 59M
3939 posts
5/3/2017 9:09 pm

How about a Jaeger Bomb??

40Deuce replies on 5/5/2017 6:57 pm:
I don't think there's much sour cream in those

goodatpoetry2 69M
16571 posts
5/4/2017 2:09 am

Is that a real drink? . Damn, that looks good!
I don't even drink and I want one...

Yeah, computers...
The greatest invention ever... and look where we are right now.

40Deuce replies on 5/5/2017 6:57 pm:
Alright , looking around , meh not so bad , not so good .

wickedeasy 69F  
32372 posts
5/4/2017 1:38 pm

yeah well i'm sad today too

You cannot conceive the many without the one.

40Deuce replies on 5/5/2017 6:58 pm:
Well cheer up because . . . hmm , I talked myself into a corner there

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