Disciplinary cunnilingus  

40Deuce 42M
5330 posts
7/17/2017 6:29 pm

Last Read:
7/18/2017 6:44 pm

Disciplinary cunnilingus

Do white bread and wheat bread get moldy at the same rate ? This would be an easy experience to conduct but I don't want to . I feel like (because feelings are what matters in science) white bread should last longer than wheat since it's basically just a block of bleach but I have never had wheat bread get moldy on me .

Do you think in the script for Top Gun there were stage directions for Val "Batman" Kilmer to clack his teeth at Tom "Jack Reacher" Cruise or did he decide to do that on his own ? And if the latter does that make him the greatest actor of the last 40 years ? Yes it does .

If you're saying intelligent design exists does that mean you're saying is buttholes are the best that God could come up with ? Because that doesn't check out at all .

Sometimes people who love wrestling say that the real world is faker than wrestling . I tried to tell them that faker isn't a word in that sense but they clotheslined me into a casket and slammed the lid .



It's a stupid thing to say but sometimes it seems apt . Like today I had a job interview and it seemed very much like pro wrestling in that I knew the questions they were going to ask and they knew the answers I was going to give and the whole thing was pre-determined . Neither one of us needed to be there , we could have just put down a tape recorder (ha ! like those a still a thing) and hit play with our questions and answers prerecorded and it would have accomplished the same thing . So as sometimes happens I spontaneously decided to be self-destructive . What set me off is the question "At you happier at work when you have a lot of work to do or when things are slow ?"

My response was essentially "What's the point of asking that question ? No one is going to say 'I prefer when things are slow so I can slack off all day , I hate work , you know what I mean briz ?' Even if I preferred for things to be slow I'd have to some kind or moron to admit it ."

Things didn't really go well after that . I feel bad for wasting the guy's time but in another way I don't because fuck that guy .

As I was bragging about the other day I started reading the Great Train Robbery and I found out something quite amusing . At that time period , in England at least , if a woman committed a crime and was married her husband is the one that went to jail . Because of course women were not smart enough to commit any crimes so clearly their husband put them up to it - the theory was the same as when a bites someone , it's not the dog's fault it's the owner's fault for not beating them appropriately . Women were property legally speaking and you don't put property in jail . They talked briefly about this lady who was a counterfeiter who's husband went to jail and then just got more and more time added to his sentence as she continued counterfeiting . It was conceptually amusing .

What I don't understand though is why this only applied to married women - shouldn't the fathers of single ladies had to take their punishment for their crimes if you're going to go with the theory that woman are too stupid to do anything on their own ? Or their brothers or someone ?

Supposedly that's one reason why high class prostitutes were so popular at the time because women who got married where basically trained to be morons whereas most of the high class hookers were actually pretty intelligent folk who had opinions and everything because they didn't go through said training . Also you could pound them in the ass .

I saw some leaves in the toilet this morning and I thought to myself "Oy , I'm crappin' leaves again" which seems like a crazy thing to think but what you don't know about me is that I spit on gypsies whenever I can in the hopes of getting cursed . Because if I do that enough eventually one of them will put that curse from the movie "Thinner" on me .

"40 that didn't turn out so great for that guy"

One thing at a time my friends , one thing at a time .

Now it might be more reasonable to assume that I tracked in some leaves after I was working in yard yesterday and then noticed them on the floor and tossed them in the toilet and forgot about it . But unreasonable things happen all the time .


Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


40Deuce 42M
5727 posts
7/17/2017 6:32 pm

A woman once claimed that during oral she felt like 'cobra defending herself from a mongoose .' I know that's supposed to be an indictment but it sounds awesome .

Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


TicklePlease 51F  
12214 posts
7/17/2017 7:15 pm

I'm kind of at a loss for anything to say after that last comment...

I'm going to go make another drink now. And wash my eyes out with it.


40Deuce replies on 7/18/2017 5:43 pm:
Sounds painful to me , but good luck to you

superbjversion2 64F  
16956 posts
7/17/2017 7:28 pm

So - just what do I have to do to deserve some disciplinary cunnilingus?

I put the sex in sexagenarian


40Deuce replies on 7/18/2017 5:44 pm:
Why would it want it ? It's been well established I suck at oral

smartasswoman 61F  
31477 posts
7/17/2017 8:29 pm

Wait shouldn't the MAN be the one who feels like a cobra? Confusing.

Everyone's fantasy moment - telling a job interviewer their question was moronic. Thanks for falling on a sword for all of us, 40.


40Deuce replies on 7/18/2017 5:45 pm:
Well the cobra is the one that gets attacked in the cobra/mongoose scenario - plus the hood of the cobra is kind of like the lips of the vagina . I don't know man , she said it not me .

FullOn4U 54M
20294 posts
7/18/2017 12:37 pm

    Quoting smartasswoman:
    Wait shouldn't the MAN be the one who feels like a cobra? Confusing.

    Everyone's fantasy moment - telling a job interviewer their question was moronic. Thanks for falling on a sword for all of us, 40.
Because the man is trying to get her in his mouth and she just writhes and wriggles about, hisses and sticks her tongue out?

When she tries to give him a BJ they switch over... she does the biting, he does the writhing... and ends up "spitting" in her face


40Deuce replies on 7/18/2017 5:46 pm:
There is usually hissing involved in my experience

wickedeasy 69F  
32359 posts
7/18/2017 3:05 pm

damn and I like cucumbers

I wish I could have been a high class prostitute back then. except for the lack of decent showers, okay, maybe not.

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


40Deuce replies on 7/18/2017 5:47 pm:
I might be able to deal with that , the several hundred tons of horseshit in the streets would be my main issue

wickedeasy 69F  
32359 posts
7/18/2017 3:06 pm

    Quoting superbjversion2:
    So - just what do I have to do to deserve some disciplinary cunnilingus?
we are all waiting to know the answer to this.........

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


markcorvallis2 59M
765 posts
7/18/2017 6:32 pm

faker might not be a proper word but fakir is so maybe they were just saying it has something to do with religious ascetic who lives solely on alms?


40Deuce replies on 7/18/2017 6:44 pm:
Could be , fakirs are all anyone talks about these days it seems

wildoats19622 57M
3530 posts
7/23/2017 10:16 pm

Some streaming sites, which will remain un-named if I want this to post, continue on after your selection is over. If you have dozed off you can wake up to really odd scenes. I have no idea what the movie was, but I woke up at a good scene. The guy was interviewing for a job using one of those video link sites that this site also won't let you mention, as if this site allowed you to mention any brand that isn't one of theirs, and the interviewer was a very drunk female HR person on her last day at the company. I imagine her idea of disciplinary cunnilingus would probably also involve bondage, boots, and her in charge.

I don't get interviews like that.

And this comment turns to word salad after editing.

Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.


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