Wink , finger guns , fist pump , flex muscles , monkey roll  

40Deuce 42M
4616 posts
5/18/2017 5:52 pm

Last Read:
5/20/2017 10:31 am

Wink , finger guns , fist pump , flex muscles , monkey roll

That's my new bit . I say something and then I tag it with 'Wink , finger guns , fist pump , flex muscles , monkey roll" . It's not great but it's what I'm doing right now .

In my continued quest to hate myself even more (yes it is possible , I'm nowhere near total self-loathing bedrock) I was reading the 71,966th article about how ALL women hate doggy style and if you ever do it you are a worthless piece of human trash that should immediately rip off your own dick and choke to death on it and it reminded me of an old Louis CK bit .

He was talking about how some people are just "light speed ugly" and have bad personalities and no money and etc. so they would just never get to have sex in their life . And the crowd (like the trained seals they are) gasps and he snaps back "You fuck them then !" and they laugh uproariously (people love being put in their place by famous people , it's weird) .

I like doggy style . Society has decided that doggy style is morally bankrupt and wicked . I mean I have had women tell me they like it but obviously they're liars - I mean who are you going to believe the lady right in front of you or 100,000 lady (allegedly) bloggers saying "being turned over so the guy can pummel me from behind with a friction causing in-and-out motion that only feels good for one person (hint: not me)" .

40 you big baby just do what you like sometimes and what she likes sometimes , mix it up .

Nah . I mean why bother ? How about we both just stay home and masturbate ? That way we both get what we want all the time . And this is America damn it , the constitution guar-anFUCKING-tees my the right to happiness . Pretty sure .

Although paradoxically I then read an article (which echoed a sentiment many times before) that a woman having an orgasm has little or nothing to do with the "moves" I'm pulling on her , that it's all in her head . Which is nice because it lets me off the hook . Whether you have an orgasm or not it has nothing to do with me . So we might as well do it doggy style right ?



Did you know that Style is one of the many "animal" forms of southern Kung Fu ? OF course you did because it's in the movie Bloodsport and everyone loves that movie .

It's reputed to have been developed by Buddhist nun who was tired of getting doggy styled by bandits all the time if you know what I mean . Which is why it's a ground fighting style - on account of the whole footbinding thing . You see women's feet in China at the time were so fucked up they couldn't stand up and fight . Literally . Yeah .

Like most ground fighting styles it looks pretty dumb but it's reputed to be pretty effective - and as everyone who's ever been to a bar on a Friday night knows most fights end up rolling around on the ground so it makes sense .

I'll stick with my Wu Feng Qi Ming Gui Xi Su though , it works for me .

I also read an article about how what where you cum on a woman means about you . The bloggess stated "because you never really know someone until you see how they react under pressure" which is true but I hadn't made the connection to ejaculation (as ever) .

There was the standard condemnation of face and tit cumming and the requisite (and apt probably) blaming it on porn , then some other stuff .

Apparently if you cum in a woman's mouth that means you're not serious about the relationship .

Inner Thigh means 'If a guy comes on your inner thighs he probably played with matches when he was a . He's living on the edge. He most likely doesn't really want to get you pregnant if he really thinks about it. But he'll do it anyway for the thrill of taking it to the limit. Point Break is his favorite movie.

Condom 'Marry this guy. This is someone who cares about the transmission of disease and babies, which you'd think would equate to "normal human being," but is a rarer breed of man than you'd think.'

So THAT'S what I've been doing wrong . I've often wonder why any woman would want to get serious with me given all my foibles and issues , I guess it's just my fear of disease ad pregnancy that get's them all hot .

There were also several references to "in a sock" which I have to ask once again since no one ever answers - is that a real thing or a joke ? It has to be a joke because why ON EARTH would anyone jack off into a sock ? It makes ZERO sense .

For that matter at the beginning of Don John when he jerks off that scene also makes no sense to me because he grabs a tissue after he's done . What kind of planning is that ? Did he jerk off on his hand ? Why would you do that ? Also why would you use a Kleenex ? Too flimsy . You need a paper towel bro . Which you jerk off into . It's not rocket science people .

There's so much I don't know about the way other dudes masturbate . I that's pretty great really .

Oh , we're on green alert by the way . Adjust accordingly .


Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


40Deuce 42M
5727 posts
5/18/2017 5:53 pm

Wink , finger guns , fist pump , flex muscles , monkey roll !

Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


superbjversion2 64F  
16541 posts
5/18/2017 6:15 pm

Hm. Let's see if I've got this right ....

If ALL women hate doggy and I like it then ..... I am not a woman? SHIT!

I put the sex in sexagenarian


40Deuce replies on 5/18/2017 6:27 pm:
Maybe you are Devo ?

smartasswoman 61F  
31203 posts
5/18/2017 9:07 pm

I'm puzzled, where are you finding all of these articles condemning doggy style?

I like it because he doesn't have to look at my double chins from that angle. OR my fat stomach. Win win!


40Deuce replies on 5/20/2017 10:28 am:
They're everywhere , it's all any lady blogger seems to talk about

goodatpoetry2 69M
16571 posts
5/19/2017 2:07 am

Doggie is also great because she doesn't have to see the goofy faces I make when I'm having sex.
Laughing sometimes ruins the mood, ya know?


40Deuce replies on 5/20/2017 10:29 am:
I suppose that's why people make their sex slaves wear masks

tickles4us 57M
6786 posts
5/19/2017 9:46 am

More fake news....

So you do all the moves "Wink , finger guns , fist pump , flex muscles , monkey roll !" every time or switch them up?

Vive La Difference


40Deuce replies on 5/20/2017 10:29 am:
I don't do any of them , I just say it

wickedeasy 69F  
32303 posts
5/19/2017 1:49 pm

wtf is monkey roll? inquisitive minds must know

and I like doggie style too so ^5 smarty and super bj !! also, if you're getting a BJ, where else are you supposed to cum but in her mouth?? unless you're a face guy and no offense, but you better getpermission for that one.

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


40Deuce 42M
5727 posts
5/20/2017 10:30 am

A monkey roll is when you jump over someone while they roll under you and then they jump over you while you roll , process repeat

Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


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