Don't Worry, It's in a Safe Place ...  

7Diogenes 101M
804 posts
10/17/2020 4:23 pm
Don't Worry, It's in a Safe Place ...


There is a combination fire-safe in my office that I bought new about fifteen years ago from Walmart. The original purpose for the safe was stash cash for my “I’m fucking out of here” fund for the impending divorce. It served its purpose.

Since then, I’ve moved or four times. Somewhere in that time frame, I left the safe door open (thank God) intending find where I put the instructions with the combination on it. The other night I decided look for the sheet with the sticker with the combination on it. After or four moves, that sheet was nowhere be found. I thought I had printed it out a label and stuck that somewhere or in one of the drawers of my desk. Nope. Nada.

I only paid $75.00 or so for the safe back then and I could purchase a new one for about two or times that today, but then I would have to get rid of the old safe and it weighs a ton. Well, maybe a twentieth of a ton, but you get the idea. I’m a lazy cheap fucker and if I can somehow get the combination from the manufacturer, problem solved.

So I contact the manufacturer of the safe and after answering a few questions that confirm my identity and the serial number of the safe which was inside the safe, but again, thank God the door was open and thirty bucks later, they email me the combination. It doesn’t open the latch. Either I’m a dumbfuck or they sent me the wrong fucking combination.

This morning I take the safe door under arm into my neighborhood locksmith. He tries the combination they sent me. Same result. So either we’re both dumbfucks or they sent the wrong fucking combination. I can see me being the dumbfuck but he is a trained professional, i.e. not a dumbfuck.

He takes the safe door to his workbench, takes off the back cover, fiddle-fucks around with the dial, puts the cover back on and brings it back to me in the front of the store. The manufacturer did, in fact, send me the wrong fucking combination. It wasn't even close. The locksmith told me that the combination may have been changed at some point in time. I knew that wasn’t the case since I had bought the safe brand new and it had always been in my possession, but I wasn’t going to argue the case because at this point it didn’t matter. He got it open and handed me a business card with the numbers of the combination on the back. I hand him twenty bucks.

I get home, try the numbers on the card, and .... what the ever loving fuck? It does not open. You are motherfucking kidding me. The manufacturer sends me the wrong combination and the trained professional cracks the safe and gives me the wrong fucking combination? Jesus H Christ.

So now I figure if that dumbfuck of a locksmith could crack the safe, then so could I. I pop off the back cover, spin the lock mechanism until the notches line , write down the number and work the next notch/number.

Turns out he gave the right numbers, just not in the right order. He interchanged the first digit of the second and third numbers. I can now certify him as a dyslexic dumbfuck. Which is better than , a simple dumbfuck that just spent fifty bucks on nothing that I couldn’t have done myself anyway.

So now, the safe is locked tight. With the paper that I wrote the combination on. Inside.


When one door closes, another one opens. Or you can open the closed door. That's how doors work.
Dio39s Disclaimer


7Diogenes 101M
1094 posts
10/17/2020 4:24 pm

Ha, got it open. Again.

When one door closes, another one opens. Or you can open the closed door. That's how doors work.
Dio39s Disclaimer


secret_lade 46F
4666 posts
10/17/2020 4:58 pm

What if you forget the numbers that are locked inside the safe?? I can totally see myself doing that....


7Diogenes replies on 10/18/2020 5:39 pm:
Once I got the combination, I vaguely remembered it from way back. I've since put a label with the combination in a safe place. I figure the instruction sheet with the sticker of the combination will show up any day now.

pagancountrygirl 62F
5353 posts
10/17/2020 5:08 pm

"When one door closes, another one opens. Or you can open the closed door. That's how doors work."

Unless you don't have the right combination.

Pagan
Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!


7Diogenes replies on 10/18/2020 5:41 pm:
Good one. The office door has a key lock and I have a couple keys hidden around the house. If I can remember where I hid them ....

BiggLala 48F  
28942 posts
10/17/2020 5:15 pm

Bwahahaha!
I'm glad I'm not the only one things like this happen to!

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7Diogenes replies on 10/18/2020 5:41 pm:
Misery loves company, eh?

bbuckwwheat 61M
4959 posts
10/17/2020 7:29 pm

Thank you for the reminder to add the combination to the contents of the safety deposit box at the bank. I do have it written in a location that I remember, but that will do little good if the house burns down. I am not sure that the dial would survive a fire, so maybe it is a moot point.

Private mailbox at my blog bbuckwwheat
Fayette, Iowa


7Diogenes replies on 10/18/2020 5:43 pm:
I used to have a safe deposit box but found that when I need something, the bank wasn't open or available. The safe is supposed to be rated up to 1700 degrees which I would assume would cover the weakest link. Which would be the plastic dial. Good point.

lighthousecollec 58F  
893 posts
10/17/2020 8:32 pm

After reading this, I am glad I did not buy one today. . I could see myself totally forgetting the combination and where I put the safe.


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7Diogenes replies on 10/18/2020 5:45 pm:
All good if you remember the combination. I can't remember stuff from yesterday so I write it all down. Somewhere around here ....

lunchandconvo 50F
1205 posts
10/18/2020 12:34 am

i have a safe but it's with a key on my keychain.
probably not the best idea but the cash i keep on hand is denominations for tipping....
i am almost out of tip money.
i had considered hitting my back in savannah but i will be up to atlanta on friday and can restock my cash tipping money then.

glad you got your cash!


7Diogenes replies on 10/18/2020 5:47 pm:
I damn near got caught red-handed pulling $25,000 cash out of it, that was a bit dicey. Maybe a blog post about it later. Thank you for the idea.

pocogato12 68F  
34891 posts
10/18/2020 5:18 am

Too funny. My opener is my hand print now I wonder where I would have left that? Ah ha my best friend also has a hand print in the safe memory bank for emergencies

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7Diogenes replies on 10/18/2020 5:49 pm:
I looked when I was out and all the new ones are electronic and/or hand print or fingerprint. Hard to misplace one of those. But I'd probably manage ...

Tmptrzz 57F
86902 posts
10/18/2020 10:19 am

What an ordeal you went through over a lock for your safe. It's just like a manufacturer to send you the wrong combination, so glad you went to the locksmith and finally got things straightened out. I hope you don't have any more issues with your safe, and enjoy a peaceful Sunday..

Just your average every day run of the mill nana here!!!


7Diogenes replies on 10/18/2020 5:51 pm:
I'll try to get the money back but I'm sure there's something in the disclaimer that I didn't read that there are no refunds.

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