Discreet dosen't ALWAYS mean Dishonest.  

CuriouslyPervy 53M
9 posts
7/12/2017 2:57 pm
Discreet dosen't ALWAYS mean Dishonest.


So I've noticed lately that there is a lot of mistrust floating around this site lately (and the world to be honest). Second guessing has become the norm on any communication or interaction. And to be honest, a lot of it is justified.
A lot of pics are faked (unless we are all budding porn models just waiting for our breakout moment) and there are some misleading profiles ("here for fun" doesn't usually jump right into talks of marriage).

Now granted, as a NON-GOLD standard member, access is limited and quite frankly you almost feel handcuffed (and not in a good kinky way) trying to find things on the site. But it almost seems that any attempt to protect one's privacy or identity - is almost a sure sign that you will get labeled as someone that is dishonestly trying to hide something (which ironically I am hiding some stuff to a certain extinct).

My backstory is probably not too uncommon on this site - newly divorced (almost a year now) with 2 teenagers living in my house (their mother relocated out of state and the are staying here until they graduate). My profile doesn't include a face shot - do to the fact that I really don't want my or anyone they know to find out about my private affairs (seems pretty normal to me). So I am looking to be more discreet in my activities, not in a dishonest way - but more as a safety zone for my family.

Unfortunately, I get the sense that all these factors (divorced male, discreet relations, no posted face pic, and no paid membership) automatically get me tossed into the untrustworthy category. Which in itself is a little discriminatory - since there are plenty of women that have NO pics posted - but yet they are viewed as just being cautious.

My point for all this soapbox rambling is not to gain pity attention from all the sexy women that are surely reading my blog But, more I guess to bring to light that not everyone on here is looking to hustle someone... and maybe, more than you would expect, there are guys like me that are just normal, sex deprived, closet stalkers - who enjoy the sexual banter of a female counterpart - and have the hopes that someday may actual lead to something more than text on a page. (hopefully before the condoms shrivel up in my wallet!!)


BiggLala 47F  
26464 posts
7/12/2017 3:30 pm

You're correct. Discreet doesn't always mean dishonest, but it OFTEN does. It means dishonest enough times that most women avoid men who specifically state they need discretion.

It's like one of those things that should go without saying and most adults are discreet with their sexual activities. I doubt people are taking out ads in the local paper listing each of their latest escapades.

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Tmptrzz 56F  
62188 posts
7/12/2017 4:25 pm

Great blog and I understand the need for privacy, and your right discreet doesn't mean dishonestly. And in saying that the site is all what we make out of it. Good luck I hope you get to meet some great people here from the site..

Just your average every day run of the mill nana here!!!


papis_baby_girl 41F
5116 posts
7/12/2017 5:12 pm

    Quoting BiggLala:
    You're correct. Discreet doesn't always mean dishonest, but it OFTEN does. It means dishonest enough times that most women avoid men who specifically state they need discretion.

    It's like one of those things that should go without saying and most adults are discreet with their sexual activities. I doubt people are taking out ads in the local paper listing each of their latest escapades.
I agree...

especially if there's no marital status stated... red flag...

I think with most if not all adults, discreet is a given... if you have to make a point of it, or make it a big deal, then that's fishy to me...

I guess I expect a certain modicum of discretion because I bestow it as well.

And really... how often does someone in your circle personally knows the person you're boinking? Especially if you met them here??

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say."
-Anais Nin

"I am big, it's the pictures that got small!"
-Norma Desmond


Brownie202 62F  
1376 posts
7/12/2017 6:21 pm

I never had a picture here. I couldn't add one. Was new to computers so no idea why. Not hiding anything. Would be honest with my looks and send a picture. I get accused by some of being a fake or ugly and fat. Even before I gained some weight I was called fat. Aholes will be aholes.

Humans are the most dangerous animals on earth.

If only animals had the ability to know when to keep away from us humans they would be better off.


aflower2c 45F  
13844 posts
7/12/2017 8:16 pm

Here's how I would read it:
Quote/unquote "divorced/separated male looking for discreet emcounters"
I read and think:
Does the wife/gf/SO know that she is divorced or separated,
in some cases does she know that she is dead or has cancer (that is a pua trick to garner sympathy),

In my experience and reading into online dating/meeting - pretty much up to 40% of the men on any standard dating site is already married/attached/not as available as he claims (pending source) - so yes it makes me wary. Or look at ashley Madison numbers in the fallout about how many men where on there vs women.

I get the discretion because of small town, or work/business, or family living with you, but in this day and age everyone has thier guard up or they should be suspicious if it sounds too good to be true or even just like a great match.
One way I work around this, I have a couple of vanilla dating profiles, if a guy wants to be catty then he can message me on those sites instead. Because it's odd if you only have one profile up - that alone would set off all my alarms.

Little miss flower

Written from a small city middle of no where kink thinkin kinda gal.


porterpiper1 52F
3762 posts
7/12/2017 9:18 pm

It sad that we all are guarded, but some make us feel this way, there are a lot of parents on here don't want their business in the street or internet, does that make you dishonest no, I have never had a face pic on here, some people feel comfortable with face pics, It is their choice to do so, and those who don't it doesn't make them dishonest, If you are new to this site you are going to hear and read a lot of shit on here, If you can't handle it you are on the wrong site, if you can handle it welcome to Meelp,


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