Are We Doing This Right???  

GeekCplPDX 55M/51F  
17 posts
7/9/2016 10:45 am
Are We Doing This Right???

This is not our first time on Meelp but it is our first time as a couple and Katie and I have both come to the conclusion, based on our lack of success in making the kind of connections we are seeking, that we might just be doing this all wrong.

We started with our profile. We wanted it to reflect who we are, a couple of music loving, free spirited SciFi geeks who were looking to expand and test our sexual boundaries. We made it clear who we were looking for, but in retrospect, I guess we didn't make it clear enough based on some of the responses we received from single guys. ( That is and will be a rant for another time)

Once that was done we posted pics that we thought reflected our tastes and interests. I am an exhibitionist and I didn't care much about what we posted but Katie is not as open as I am and selected our pictures with great care.

Next, we started looking at other folks on here, trying to find some local (within 30 or so miles) people we thought we might connect with. And there were some folks who reached out to us.

We were invited to a meet and greet in Vancouver, a regular monthly event at a country bar, by a couple we had chatted with on here. Sadly, while they were very nice, open and friendly, there just was not a spark for us. We were warmly greeted by the organizers, we even won some swag in the raffle they held, but other than that, nothing. No one seemed interested in meeting "The New Couple". We talked with a couple of folks but they quickly split into their pre-existing groups and took off to local hotels for some play time.

We were not invited to join.

We came home somewhat discouraged but Never Give Up, Never Surrender was our battle cry. (If you know and enjoy the movie that line came from, drop us a note, you might be the kind of folks we are looking for )

Our biggest success seemed to come from the two webcam shows we did. This is not her favorite thing to do. She loves the attention but hates looking at herself on cam. She won't admit it, but I think the only reason she does them is because she knows how much I get off on showing off and I love her for it. We would get 40 or 50 viewers, we even got some tips, lots of positive comments and plenty of page views, but again no real interest.

We would chat with folks but its really hard to type with multiple people and have some fun. I think a better mike will help with that so I see a trip to Best Buy in our future .

We have fallen into a kind of pattern.

We will check out profiles and if we see something we like, we will send a wink. If we REALLY like what we see we will send a note, even if its just to say, "Hey, we know we are not what you are looking for but that was a GREAT profile".

If someone views us, we will check them out and use the same technique. My question here is, what is the whole "We are going to look at your profile 30 times without making any attempt to contact you" thing all about? Is it Alzheimer's? Do our pics make particularly good spank material? Hell if that's the case, not only would we be flattered, we might even do a few custom shots if you ask nicely.

This has lead to some great email exchanges but, sadly, the best ones always seem to be too far away to be practical. We have also encountered a few "flakes" but hey, people get cold feet or change their minds. We get that, but a note explaining that would not only be appreciated but in our minds, the polite thing to do.

We respond to all of our emails, even if its only to say thanks but no. Unless your one of the JACKHOLE single guys who can not understand the subtle BOLD TYPE message at the very top of our fracking profile. Those get deleted out of hand as do those who do not have a picture on their profile or include one with their initial email. Katie refers to those as creepy stalkerish people. We understand that some folks have the need for discretion but if your going to be in this game, there are some basic rules you have to follow, am I right?

We also keep our friends list limited to people who we might actually meet or have at least provided us with good conversation. I mean what is this, Facebook? He who dies with the most friends wins? Honestly, we see someone with 750 friends we both go, "Hmmm, would I really want a piece of that?" We are not looking to build up our points or be loved by millions, we just want to meet a few nice folks.

The point of all this is...Are We Doing This Wrong?

We love doing meet and greets with couples and solo ladies. We have no delusions of bagging a Unicorn, but is a night out of dinner, drinks and music too much to hope for?

They way we see it, these meetings can turn out one of two ways:

We are going to come away having a fun night out with someone who we might or might not want to play with
We are going to have a great story to tell on this blog.

Either outcome works for us.

So, if you have made it this far, Katie has told me that it now looks like I don't know when to shut up when I am talking AND writing, we appreciate it. We would also appreciate any tips or suggestions you might have.

benard69 63M/63F  
4098 posts
7/9/2016 11:00 am

There is no magic formula on here..Most of the folks on here are 100% phony..So there really isn't any Right or Wrong..Just rub the Rabbits foot for Good Luck...

GeekCplPDX replies on 7/9/2016 11:04 am:
We thought about sacrificing a virgin to the swinging gods but try and find one in this day and age....LOL We are as real as it gets and we will keep plugging away at it, pun intended, until we strike gold

funsmartfriendly 50M/49F  
2149 posts
7/9/2016 11:16 am

Yes, respectfully, we do think you're doing things at least partly wrong.

You are going out to events, that's good, but meet and greets are usually somewhat cliquish, so we tend to avoid those unless we use them to pre-plan meetings in advance and line up 4-6 members to speed first date if you will at the event. Going just hoping to run into people that will want to meet you beyond that is a crapshoot in our 20 years experience.

So, what can you do? We recommend checking out our ACTIVITY series. We wrote in great depth about what we actually do to meet people on this site. It's very detailed and very practical advice. Most people won't do it, which is good for you, because that means you'll be one of the few in your area (Portland area, BTW, has TONS of potential matches).

From a direct standpoint you're at the edge of our 100 mile radius and we're 75+ miles out of your range (may we gently recommend that you expand your range to at least 100 miles -- thus giving you 50 miles of actual driving range if the other member meets you halfway), so we probably would be not of interest but we looked over your profile and you're welcome to send us a message. We get down that way from time to time and, well, you never know.

Regardless, of that, we think you should check out our ACTIVITY series. You'll want to read them in order:

ACTIVITY 1 Do You Want To Meet Someone You're Interested In Offline
ACTIVITY 2 Learn How To Find Compatible Matches
ACTIVITY 3 Use Multiple Sources To Select and Contact Compatible Matches
ACTIVITY 4 Send Messages That Encourage Responses
ACTIVITY 5 Reviewing Contact Responses and Recontact Strategy

We are happy to answer any questions and help tutor you along the way if you like. Seriously, we're out here following everything we describe in our series and it works. One of our best couple matches we've had in 20 years we landed using our strategy, and that's within the last 45 days.

GeekCplPDX 55M/51F  
15 posts
7/9/2016 11:35 am

Thank you so very much and we will take your advice to heart. We are always willing to expand our boundaries for the right folks. We are headed out for the day but rest assured we will look over what you have shared with great interest. We thank you for taking an interest in us and you will hear from us soon. We have lots of questions and now maybe someplace to turn for answers
With Love
Neil and Katie

sirenprime 62M/43F  
508 posts
7/9/2016 2:04 pm

Hey there Mr . & Mrs. GeekCpl,
While we might agree with a lot of what our peers on here have already suggested, we might also add that there is no "One-Size-Fits-All" solution to your dilemma. While your passion may be part of the norm, your particulars don't fit within the usual representative sample for a site such as this. In some respects you remind us of ourselves. Most notably in your desire for specific types of interaction, with specific kinds of people. Clearly, this particular mindset { which we obviously respect, since, as we said, it reminds us of ourselves...} will further limit the number of possible matches for playtime. But....on the other hand...simply giving up and "settling", is actually in no one's best interest. Chances are, if this was the route you chose, you'd be both disappointed in whatever happened, AND also in yourselves for having not remained true to your original standards. People who are not , "All-In", generally are not the best of playmates, as experience has proven to anyone who's ever been with an indecisive or unsure couple can attest.
What the Lovely Siren and I would humbly suggest, is that you continue to search using the parameters you've already chosen. In our case, we expanded such things as age and distance, after coming to the realization that our needs were so specific as to make such boundaries less important than compatibility. You might look at similar, or different lines of demarcation, or simply leave everything as is, with the hope of Eventually finding that which you seek. We have always looked at "all of this", as something that will happen when the time is right { as it has } but might take a bit of time to occur { as it also has }. In the end, having an enjoyable experience means more than just Having any experience. Having read and digested your rather lengthy post { yup....we have similarities There as well....} we can't help but feel that ultimately, you feel the same way.

sirenprime 62M/43F  
508 posts
7/10/2016 9:59 pm

Siren here... the Nerdier F half of sirenprime (Prime wrote the previous comment)... loved your Galaxy Quest reference! And did I detect a little Firefly as well??

Excellent blog entry. Sometimes trying to figure out the how's and why's of a site like this can be daunting. Don't worry.... its my experience that nerds always find other nerds...

P.S. if you'd gone with a comic book reference, Prime would have picked up on it immediately!

GeekCplPDX 55M/51F  
15 posts
7/12/2016 12:17 am

I don't do a lot of comics, but I loved Preacher and I am thrilled with the job AMC is doing with it. A lot of what I have written over the years is somewhat tongue in cheek. I have another post ready to go about the responses we get to some of our cam shows. We know what we are looking for is the rarest of the rare, but we know it is out there and we simply wont settle for anything else. Sex is fun...we both love it, but sex with people you can laugh with, share experiences with, that is the best life has to offer

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