Outlander fans?  

Prof10001 59M
5393 posts
3/14/2017 4:49 am

Last Read:
3/14/2017 7:59 pm

Outlander fans?


One misty Scottish morning a man is driving through the hills to Inverness. Suddenly out of the mist, a massive red-haired highlander steps into the middle of the road. The man is at least six feet four, has a huge red beard and, despite the wind, mist, and near freezing temperatures, is wearing only his kilt, a tweed shirt and a tam-o'-shanter at a rakish angle. At the roadside there also stands a young woman. She is absolutely beautiful slim, shapely, fair complexion, golden hair... heart stopping. The driver stops and stares, and his attention is only distracted from the lovely girl when the red thing opens the car door and drags him from his seat onto the road with a fist resembling a whole raw ham. "Right, you Jimmy," he shouts, "Ah want you to masturbate!"

"But..." stammers the driver.

"Du it now - or I'll bluddy kill yu!" So the driver turns his back on the girl, drops his trousers and starts to masturbate. Thinking of the girl on the roadside, this doesn"t take him long.

"Right!" snarls the Highlander. "Du it agin, now!" So the driver does it again.

"Right laddie, du it agin!" demands the Highlander.

This goes on for nearly two hours. The hapless driver gets cramps in both arms, he has rubbed himself raw, is violently aching, his sight is failing and despite the cold wind, he has collapsed in a sweating, jibbering heap on the ground, unable to stand.

"Du it again!" says the Highlander.

"I can"t do it any more - you'll just have to kill me!" whimpers the man.

The Highlander looks down at the pathetic soul slumped on the roadside and says, "All right laddie. NOW, can you give ma a lift to Inverness?"

pocogato12 67F  
28799 posts
3/14/2017 5:02 am

Diana Gabaldon will kill you for this one and wee Jamie will run you over

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goodatpoetry2 69M
16571 posts
3/14/2017 5:10 am

Excellent!


author51 56F
80922 posts
3/14/2017 5:50 am

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have to love a smart Scotsman or for that matter woman...Too flipping funny honey.

One can never have enough JOY in their life...


Prof10001 59M
3333 posts
3/14/2017 7:59 pm

    Quoting pocogato12:
    Diana Gabaldon will kill you for this one and wee Jamie will run you over
I've read the whole series. Great storytelling and characters.

Pretty good sex scenes too.

Prof


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