You have a choice here...  

Red_Elf 46F  
672 posts
6/17/2017 4:51 pm
You have a choice here...


So, I was chatting with a friend of mine who is green card Japanese woman. She's tiny, cute, and fucking brilliant. Also, her politics lean to the extreme left. We often talk about "my" dating problems, which come back to situations she, herself, has experienced.

Now, as a student of human nature, I can tell you that one of the things about brilliant people is they tend to get a bit frustrated with much of everyone else, because it's hard for them to completely grasp why things that are obvious to them are not obvious to everyone around them. This results in many of them being frustrated much of the time with other people, and she tends to be a bit of a recluse, some of it stemming from that, I'm sure.

So, it's a little hard for her to date, because if they say the wrong thing, or their voice isn't just right, it's over. Sexual chemistry is gone the way of the Dodo bird. As a result, she was telling me about how there are times when she is out with a guy, and she just flat out tells them, "Look, you can keep talking, or you can take me home and fuck me. Your choice. If you keep on talking, there won't be any fucking."

I found this hilariously funny. I'm so glad she dropped by that night and we drank ourselves some wine, because it was a lovely evening.

Aaaand...last night's date was all wrong. Guy wasn't terrible...but ZERO sexual chemistry...not only that, but he smelled like a wrinkled old lady, and I think that was actually some sort of scent he was wearing on purpose. Somehow, even though there was very little touching, the scent got on me, and it was bothering me so much, I had get in the shower when I got home and wash it off, even though I had a shower just a few hours before. And he also made a big deal of trying to make sure I wasn't still married (been divorced legally for a couple of years now, and was pretty separated a year before that), AND that I don't, for sure, want anymore . They weren't just passing inquiries, either. He made kind of a big deal about them--"Are you sure?" "Is there any way that isn't the case?".

WHEN THE HELL ARE THOSE FIRST DATE QUESTIONS? A passing question or comment, whatever, but he actually made a bit of a big deal about these two things...and implied dating was about getting married, which my profile on that site makes it pretty clear that I'm uncomfortable about being serious, even though, eventually, I might like to be if things just happened to go there, so any thoughtful person should know better than to do that to me!

So, what kinds of things have happened on dates that have ruined them, or almost ruined them, for you?

MOST of the time I'm well behaved...but if you weren't, and, enjoyed having your ass handed to you, visit my blog and become a subscriber. There you can read all about how I am actively authoring, and rewriting, my life .

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KItkat1415 57F
19782 posts
6/17/2017 7:10 pm

I had a "looking for FWB only" on my profile.
I start messaging with a guy that is a great writer and we are getting each other hot and bothered through our messages. We decide to meet. He tells me that he has "gained a few lbs" since his photo. When we meet, the man is obese. But I decide to look beyond that lie (since I have met more than a few obese men that I still thought of as sexy). We make out. He is touching me in all the right places. We get naked. He gets a condom on. We fuck. I had just had my second orgasm when the phone rings. He answers it. Embarrassed I get off of him and he proceeds to have a full on business conversation with a colleague. I put my clothes on. He tells me to "hang on a minute" (thus dispelling the fact that he doesn't want the caller to know he has another person in the room with him). He then speaks for another 15 minutes, getting up, putting his clothes on, sits at his desk in the living room bringing me along with him by grabbing my hand, and indicates he wants a shoulder massage while he finishes up the call. When he does, I tell him I am leaving. He apologizes. I accept his apology, leave, and block him everywhere I could think of (since we were on multiple dating profiles and know each other from more than two). First date conduct? That was awful.

I can handle a lot and I'm not precious with my time with my lovers but that was beyond rude to me.
Kk

The observant make the best lovers,
I may not do right, but I do write,
I have bliss, joy, and happiness in my life,
Kitkat
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KItkat1415
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Red_Elf replies on 6/17/2017 8:45 pm:
Just...wow...least he could do was rub YOUR back.

pegme76 43M
1139 posts
6/18/2017 11:14 am

I've sometimes wondered how hard it would be to get back into the dating pool because (like your friend) I lean farther left than most. Who would date a 40-something leftist loon who doesn't eat animals?

I've always held out the hope that online dating would help people with more unusual perspectives still find fun. I hope your friend finds someone she wants to sleep with that she can stand to hear speak if for nothing else it would be reassuring for the rest of us.


Red_Elf replies on 6/18/2017 12:57 pm:
I think it does help. I call online profiles dating resumes, actually. Coffee dates are the interview. Follow up dates might be interviews, too, or working auditions.

Red_Elf replies on 6/18/2017 1:00 pm:
I've passed your comment along... although I don't think sex is her top priority at the moment.

Resident_Bitch 102M/102F  
9057 posts
6/21/2017 5:59 am

So what he is saying is, he doesn't want to wear a condom so hopes you aren't going to get pregnant????


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Red_Elf replies on 6/21/2017 7:27 am:
From the moment I laid eyes on him, I knew that wasn't anything he was going to have to worry about!

discreteSteve62 52M  
1958 posts
6/23/2017 2:31 am

I recall a date that started with a classified ad, with a woman who was apparently very horny. We agreed to meet at a book store. It was closed, so I had to wait outside. My first physical sensation of her was the smell from around the corner of the book store, almost a half-block away, before she even appeared around the corner. I'm not a big fan of perfume in general, and that stuff was worse than usual.

We talked and headed to a hotel lobby bar. I had juice rather than alcohol because I didn't want to be stuck there until the buzz wore off enough to drive safely in the event that the date didn't go well. By the time I had finished the juice, the nasty perfume was well down the list of reasons I wanted to leave. The most polite way I could think of to call it off was, "I'm just not feeling it." To my relief, she replied, "I'm not either." We shook hands and left. I went home, tossed my clothing directly into the washing machine, and showered to try to wash off the scent.

- - -

If I were in the dating pool, I think I'd want to meet your friend.


Red_Elf replies on 6/23/2017 5:18 am:
My friend is awesome even if you are NOT in the dating pool. I love her and never seem to see her often enough.

discreteSteve62 52M  
1958 posts
6/24/2017 1:30 am

My friend is awesome even if you are NOT in the dating pool. I love her and never seem to see her often enough.

In that case, I'd like to meet her as a friend. But unless she's a friend you left behind around here that's not very likely.


Red_Elf replies on 6/24/2017 6:30 am:
Yeah, no, SD

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