A letter to Passion.com (just because I'm bored).
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Posted:Jan 14, 2018 8:40 pm
Last Updated:Jul 30, 2021 4:39 pm
12516 Views
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Dear Passion dot f@#king com,
First thing that I want to say is, I'm not angry. This may seem like anger, but that is only because it's very hard sometimes to judge tone thru this medium. If I was speaking this out loud and in person you would hear/see the amusement. To me, the thing I'm "ranting" about is a source of endless entertainment.
Now that tone has been established, onto the meat of this thing.
I understand you Passion. I understand that you are a business, and as a business, you are here in this world to make money. Obviously the best way to make money is by having paying customers. Of course there are those that, when first joining this site, are quite hesitant to spend their hard earned paycheck. The question is always there, "Is it really worth it?"
It is then put on you, my dearest Passion, to find a way to tempt these people onto the "Gold" side of the fence. So I'm sure that you brainstormed, and you searched for inspiration. Then, like a lightning bolt from Zeus' own hand, it came to you! Why not use a combination of user generated and fake profiles to make it seem as if these brand new users were the most interesting thing since Prince changed his name to a symbol. Holy shit!!! You could use a 1-2-3 combo of views, flirts, and maybe even the occasional message to tempt these wide-eyed new users. Who could resist buying that Gold Membership, since the best way to contact the interested parties is hidden behind a payment. Genius my lovely Passion, pure freaking genius.
So now, with that having been said, we come to my reason for this long winded diatribe.
I have, for my own many and varied reasons, already made the decision to be a paying member of your glorious site. I have been for nearly a year now, yet I still find myself the target of those very same fake flirts, views, etc., etc.
I cannot prove this, beyond a shadow of doubt, but I have a working piece of gray matter sitting between my ears that I love using that tells me it's true. This is mainly because the majority of these phantom views/flirts come from women that are currently located over 7000 miles away (I apologize for the use of miles, but I unfortunately received an education in America  ). Those very same views/flirts also seem to disappear after a few days, which further lends to their questionable nature.
I'm not, for the most part, complaining as it is always nice to feel wanted. It just strikes me as odd, and maybe a little pointless.
So in closing, allow me to just ask you (my most cherished Passion), what the fuck? 
Yours forever (or until I grow bored),
SinnerInside
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3
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"Shattered"
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Posted:Jul 15, 2017 9:47 pm
Last Updated:Jul 30, 2021 4:41 pm
22254 Views
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You are my porceain doll.
So fragile,
yet so strong and unyielding.
No warmth in your gaze,
no feeling in your touch,
nothing I can do
to bring life to your lips,
as they burn mine
in a frozen kiss.
I put my hand against your hollow chest,
in a futile search for life.
The touch,
however soft,
causes you to fall.
You shatter against the hard earth,
and with you goes my heart.
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2
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"Forget Me"
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Posted:Jul 13, 2017 8:53 pm
Last Updated:Jul 30, 2021 4:42 pm
22237 Views
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I wander from place
to place,
wondering if you remember me.
Thinking how nice
it would be
if you could recall
how I looked
or felt
in your hands.
Do you think of me anymore...?
When you hear
that song,
when you go
to that place in your mind that I could never reach?
I remember you...
Everything about how you looked,
how you smelled
and felt
when I had you wrapped in my arms.
I wish that I could forget...
so it wouldn't hurt anymore.
Just...
if you don't remember us,
it's okay.
Please forget...
Please...,
forget me.
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2
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"Lovely"
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Posted:Jul 9, 2017 9:33 pm
Last Updated:Jul 30, 2021 4:43 pm
22423 Views
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Lovely eyes,
watch me drown
in filth of my own making.
Lovely eyes,
watch my eyes
and the fear that absorbs them.
Lovely smile,
grin at my defeated,
and hopeless form.
Lovely smile,
happy for the pain
that escapes from my lips.
Lovely hands,
grip the hope,
and force it from my black lungs.
Lovely hands,
cover thy eyes,
hide from the murder of my innocence and sin.
Lovely figure,
press through my eyes
and pierce my memories of tears.
Lovely figure,
rip and tear
out the heart that loves you.
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2
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"Not My Life"
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Posted:Apr 7, 2017 11:31 pm
Last Updated:Jul 30, 2021 4:44 pm
28712 Views
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Tired,
so tired that my body aches,
my vision blurs until the world is nothing...
nothing,
only shadows that move before me,
waver into my sight
shadows with no face...
and I'm terrified
because this is my life.
These moments
that slowly creep by...
moments that serve only to show me,
missed chances,
past hurts,
life... as it fades into delirium
and still the shadows roam,
still I'm frightened
because this has always been my life.
Sleep,
the blissful hours spent unaware
of the pain
I have come to feel in my heart,
the pain,
that I can't seem to escape,
like the light my eyes can never shut out,
and I cry out for release...
release from my fear,
the panic that always I feel
because I don't want this to be my life.
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1
comment
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"Happy Birthday Chyld"
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Posted:Apr 6, 2017 10:08 pm
Last Updated:Apr 7, 2017 4:28 am
30034 Views
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Seems like today should be the day.
Almost as if they're waiting
for some sign or signal.
You sit,
wait,
check your watch,
but it never comes.
Shouldn't someone be hitting the lights?
Where's the cake and ice cream?
No lit candle flame
to brighten the sadness on your face.
You tap your foot with impatience
as the longing
for the surprise words eats you alive.
You want to have a smile,
your beloved grin,
spread across your face
as they scream and shout for you.
No lights or noise makers,
confetti is in serious lacking,
and the presents all seem to be sitting on store shelves.
It seems that it's happened again.
They have forgotten to remember
this one day of the year.
You're not surprised
(though you secretly wish that you were)
that this has happened.
Why should this year be any different
then any of the ones before,
that were spent alone in the dark?
So you light a candle,
make your wish
and slowly walk away from the table
as you whisper those four words...
"Happy Birthday to me."
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0
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"Know You"
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Posted:Apr 4, 2017 7:50 pm
Last Updated:Jul 30, 2021 4:45 pm
29287 Views
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Know you.
I want to.
Yet you
won't tell me.
Show me
the you
I know is there
hidden
from me
in your reservations
those shadows
behind your eyes.
Tell me.
Please
let me know
everything
that you are
good
or
bad
it doesn't matter
I want it all.
Those dirty secrets
that you fear
will change my opinion.
The depth
or
lack of
your true feelings
when you think
of me
of us
and what you dream
when you sleep
at night.
Reveal all
to me
always me
always there
beside you
whenever you need me
love
heart
yours.
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3
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"Nothing"
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Posted:Mar 31, 2017 12:09 am
Last Updated:Sep 8, 2020 3:51 pm
31020 Views
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So this is me now,
a pale reflection of a former self,
and yet I don't care.
I want to feel this inside,
this... nothing
for nothing is better then fear,
nothing is better then love
for with love comes hate,
uncertainty
and fear...
fear of all things that could hurt you
pull your world apart
with a single action
a single word
left unspoken
because you're scared of what it might do
to those that you love
to those that you wish you didn't love
to those who truly care about you
for some odd reason
because even in the face of all your emotions...
I feel empty
I feel...
nothing,
and that makes me happy.
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3
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"Grinning on a Broken Heart"
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Posted:Mar 28, 2017 12:04 am
Last Updated:Jul 30, 2021 4:47 pm
31411 Views
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I can still taste the blood,
on my lips,
from your love,
because you only cared when it hurt.
I think you forgot to say goodbye,
as you slowly strolled away,
never looking back
to see the grin
that plagued my broken heart.
Why couldn't I just see the serpents
coiled in you eyes
as they consumed my life,
my dreams,
the entire memory of me.
I was just blind...
So now I forget...
I sleep...
I die... until tomorrow.
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2
Comments
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"Tears"
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Posted:Mar 25, 2017 11:01 pm
Last Updated:Mar 22, 2018 5:51 pm
30569 Views
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Water drips,
drops at a time
onto my outstretched palm.
Look at the tears,
simple lines of water and salt,
burning trenches in my face.
Funny how such a simple,
tiny,
bead of water
can carry so much pain,
happiness,
or passion.
Heartbreak in a liquid prison.
Joy in a tiny package.
There it is...
the sum of every emotion,
rolled into one drop
leaking from one's soul.
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2
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"Always a Sinner"
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Posted:Mar 23, 2017 8:43 pm
Last Updated:Jul 30, 2021 4:48 pm
32172 Views
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Hail Mary,
full of grace...
even your beauty,
virgin that we all strive to forget,
can't wipe clean
the sins that I relish in.
My mind,
and soul contain darkness,
dirty enough to taint your ivory skin.
Blush and smile dear,
for you know that you truly love me.
My deepest sin,
lies in the corruption of what you find holy.
Forgive me father
for I have sinned...
to many crimes I have committed,
to many times,
for soul to come clean.
My heart cries out...
forgiveness!
Give me forgiveness
before I fall.
By your grace alone,
will I in the end be truly absolved.
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1
comment
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"Smile Silly Chyld"
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Posted:Mar 21, 2017 7:10 pm
Last Updated:Jul 30, 2021 4:50 pm
32371 Views
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Silly little boy,
why do you cry for the angels to hear?
You waste your breath...
You waste time that you'll never get back.
Each tear that you lose,
each crystal emotion
that rolls down your cheek,
feeds the growing beast in your heart.
They laugh at your pain silly chyld!
I know this,
because I see their tears of joy
reflect your face in horrid detail
as you focus on pain,
and ignore salvation
as it slithers by.
Silly chyld open your eyes!
Realize that you are the worm,
the lower beast,
these angels laugh at everyday
while you kneel at your bed,
and forget how to pray.
I see so much more in you chyld!
Silly little chyld,
bow no more
to the beggar with holy hands
and blind eyes,
that see only what he is told to see.
Walk your own path now chyld...
Stand and smile,
see the forked tongue
that slides through sharpened teeth,
as you spread your wings
stained dark with the color of sorrow.
They will laugh no more chyld!
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2
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"Awakening"
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Posted:Mar 20, 2017 11:18 pm
Last Updated:Sep 27, 2019 6:25 pm
23173 Views
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Close your eyes to the darkness
breathe deep,
and release.
Feel the soft,
cool touch of the night air
caress your bare skin.
Waiting for something,
that you're never sure will come,
you can savor each moment
as it comes
and goes.
The smell of honeysuckle
mingles with the faint scent
of rain soaked earth,
and your thoughts wander
from past
to future.
Time keeps on passing,
but still you stand and wait.
The moon...
it rises over the horizon,
full and bright,
she shines down on you.
Your moment has come,
your mistress has arrived.
Breathing a sigh of relief
and satisfaction,
you release your soul to her.
Petals open,
and your beauty is revealed to the world.
Moon flower...
you revel in the life of the night.
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3
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