He Wanted a Caregiver  

SugarLick8 54F  
23 posts
2/12/2019 10:15 am

Last Read:
2/15/2019 2:42 pm

He Wanted a Caregiver

I met a man on personal ads in January of 2016...we spoke on the phone every night for three nights for two or three hours. I suppose at some point he told me he had R/A, I didn't really know what this was or cared, I didn't intend to become involved with him, not at all. He struggled to involve me with him for three years. We met the fourth night that week and it was nice till he told me he preferred a different type of nipples then what I had. I had to sleep a couple hours where we were and then I got up and went home. He begged and he pleaded and he apologized till I agreed to give him a chance. Long story short, he stalked me, he badgered me, he emotionally abused me, nearly destroying my sexuality and openess to life. I gave him many chances, residing with him in his shack at least three times. Each time he would get extremely drunk and high on pain medication and scare me, bad. I finally broke away in the third quarter of 2018. In the last quarter of 2018 I met a friend who told me straight up "he was looking for a caregiver" Wow, that is so not me. I think this man should be soo ashamed of himself to try involve himself with an already empty single mother. I practically had nothing to give and everything I had to give he took. I am so empty now and quite hurt after everything, I pretend I'm okay and recovered but I know I am not. Early this year yet, I already told him if he thinks I'm going to continue not being sexually fulfilled he has another thing coming. His "rule" is I am not allowed to return to him if I have sex with another man...ffs who the hell am I supposed to have sex with! He can barely do anything and cums straight away anyhow. I told him the fact that he can touch himself is a gift, for with his hands, one day he will not be able to. I don't even think he has respect for that. I'm so ashamed it took me so long to tare away from such a malignant human being. But I've done it and at last am relieved, for I am No caregiver. Let's get on with having sex, so he will no longer want me. Thank you for reading, thank you for your considerations and thoughts, Love Sugar

BeesBanger 43M
73 posts
2/12/2019 10:20 am

obvious to say, but you deserve so much better

SugarLick8 54F  
7 posts
2/12/2019 10:40 am

Thank you, it was really hard to get away. I had to move a couple hours away to here and hope there is more and better people to be friends with.
I think it is fine for him to look for someone that will Do for him but he needs to make sure they have it to give, before begging, pleading and insisting that I am the one. Which I tried the whole time to show him that I am not by being an honest and caring friend, in which in no circumstance could he measure up to morally.

tamedbu 55F
9 posts
2/12/2019 10:51 am

Sugar, I really feel you; wishing you a healing from this emotional rollercoaster so you can move on. Sharing is a step toward shedding.

Erotic2you 64M
15 posts
2/12/2019 10:53 am

I wish you peace. You are doing a good thing in getting it out in the open

Solfan55 64M  
28 posts
2/12/2019 10:53 am

Good for you! Getting out of an abusive relationship is very tough. Look in the mirror and feel great about yourself. You're not a caregiver, you're a survivor.

Stay strong Sugar.

RavenGB 57M  
638 posts
2/12/2019 10:55 am

No, no, no! These things can be contemplated if the guy in question is the love of your life and has been the love of your life for a long time! If you meet some jerk who wants things from you that you don't want to give, or seeks to limit your freedom in any way, ALWAYS vote with your feet.

You are looking, perhaps, for a partner, but it needs to be a two-way street. If you simply want sex, the queue is already around the block and is yours for the asking. If the sex isn't satisfying, your response should be a polite "Sorry! Next!!". Life is too short to accept such compromises unless you are deeply in love with the guy (and even then...)

jajo696 64F  
174 posts
2/12/2019 10:56 am

He was clearly draining you dry....no matter how long it took...u broke away. Time to polish off and bandage your wings and fly ~~

Good luck

Obeoneforyou 58M
16 posts
2/12/2019 10:58 am

nice read thank You for the points

bradc49 63M
20 posts
2/12/2019 11:40 am

It is great that you got away.. no need for anyone like that!

Wonder167 52F  
1717 posts
2/12/2019 12:19 pm

Things like that leaves scars, even if they are internal and not visible from the outside. It does take a long time to trust again. Sorry you went through that.

Life is like a camera. Focus on what's important.
Capture the good times.
Develop from the negatives and if things don't work out,
Take another shot!

4283 posts
2/12/2019 12:37 pm

Hey, Sugar.

»I Am Sorry To Read That«

*Great Meme*


SugarLick8 54F  
7 posts
2/14/2019 1:32 pm

@RavenGB: He never gave a reason for me to deeply love him. Of course there is a chemistry or the psycho learned how I work. It got to be it wasn't enough. I can say I hope I am the love of his life and have shown him his many mistakes. But I am pretty sure he will go back to "buying" what he wants. I can't be bought and yes I led with my feet over and over. I am healing and when the time is right, I will move on.
As far as sex, I guess I don't want to do it, out of bitterness or to sever him from me. I want to do it because it will be my pleasure, it just takes the right one. I meet people but then for whatever reason I have to let them go before anything evolves. Finding a good lover seems to be quite a process. Thank you for your words and guidance.

SugarLick8 54F  
7 posts
2/14/2019 1:34 pm

And thank you so much everyone for support and kind wishes and stellar advice. I will keep going on my path away and hope to guide myself into something better for me.

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