Conversing with the Divine
 
Come on, it shouldn't be this friggin hard talking to a girl!

The Art of Conversation is an inherently necessary skill to be successful here. So let's start learning it.

This isn't about man bashing. This is about ditching the boring and lame attempts at seduction and start having the conversations that are wild, fun, and lively so you can get a successful seduction

When men start having better conversations, we ALL win.
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To beard or not to beard ... men, how did you decide on your facial grooming style?
Posted:May 5, 2020 7:57 am
Last Updated:May 12, 2020 4:32 am
742 Views



Being confined at home, I have watched a documentary about beards. There is WAY more going into men's decisions in this regard than I ever gave them credit for.

While boobs, curves, and hair are the domain of women, clearly signaling even from a distance my gender, beards and facial hair is the dominant visible gender identifier in men. Nothing screams manliness more than facial hair.

The way a man grows his beard says a lot about him. The problem is, the language it's speaking is incomprehensible to me.

Some men have mustaches and beards for cultural reasons.

Others for professional reasons.

Yet others it has religious significance.

Their wives' preferences in this regard usually scores dead last in the reasons. I'm not offended by this, it's your body after all.

What I found most interesting is how little men talk about this … especially considering how much thought each and every man has put into it. I'm a black woman. When there's enough black estrogen in the room, we start talking about hair, it's just what we do – "Girl, your hair looks amazing, is that a C3? What kind of curls is that?" But men never talk about their equivalent grooming in regards beards, at least not that I've ever heard. Why is that? Especially considering this is just as complicated to my uninitiated ears as black hair is to white men. Hey, even I can't stay on top of black hair, so how do you guys stay on top of beard styles if you never talk about it?

Even those to elect to be clean shaven have long-winded explanations as to why, and that's fascinating to me.

I asked my husband while we were watching. He would prefer to sport the light stubble look. However, he is clean shaven for "professional reasons" (I have to put that in quotes). He has perpetual 5 o'clock shadow, even after he's freshly shaved. Shaving too much irritates his skin, and I often have to tell him not to shave so often.

Granted, I personally love love LOVE a freshly shaved man – still smelling like shaving cream and aftershave – face soft and smooth, yet still leathery and manly. Swoon! In other words, I would be helpless to defend myself against the pervasive sexual harassment from the Mad Men guys.

But after the .com bubble of the late 90's, the Mad Men look is no longer held as the "professional standard." But then again, I work in women's retail, men aren't really applying, so I never consider that when hiring an employee. Are men worried that facial hair might be holding them back in job interviews? I've never really gave it any thought. How is this viewed?

Recent trends among sports figures shows full bushy beards making a come-back. I can't wait for this trend to pass. I'm ambivalent towards goatees, sometimes I really like them, other times I hate the look. I like pencil beards on black men, but I find it weird looking on white guys. And I find that all looks can be professional looking to my eyes, as long as it's being maintained properly and not getting scraggly.

What I really want to know is to hear from the guys here as to why you chose to groom yourself the way you did.

What are you sporting? Clean shaven? Goatee? Pencil beard? Rugged stubble? Full bushy beard?

How long does it take you per day to groom it properly? For all the claims that "it's easier this way," is it really easier?

What made you decide on that look? Details please!

13 Comments
It's All About Rhythm, the Rhythm Divine
Posted:Feb 19, 2019 12:40 pm
Last Updated:Apr 22, 2020 4:35 am
1733 Views




A large part of the problems in talking to women and meeting them is because our rhythms aren't in sync. In this game, rhythm is everything.





In Online Conversation

When most men contact me, they are in a state of hyper-arousal. They want to cum, but would prefer to do it with someone than alone with porn. No judgments here. If you want sex, there’s nothing wrong with going out and looking for it. There’s nothing shameful about wanting sex.

However, whereas men are in a state of perpetual hyper-arousal here, I’ll wager that most women are in a state of complete and total non-arousal. We’d like to get aroused, that’s why we come here. I’m not here because I’m already aroused, but because I’d like to get myself aroused. You know, one of those rub one out to get the day off to a good start.

Think about how that affects the rhythm of conversation. Both parties need the online conversation to match their physical state. The problem is that we’re in two very different parts of the process. Men are all the way at the part immediately before orgasm, and women are trying to get the engine fired up. Little wonder why neither party is clicking.

I addressed this in my last post about porn. Porn is a lot like alcohol. Even people who think they can handle it and don’t feel impaired, the impairment is there and is noticeable to everyone else around them. The only ones fooled are themselves. Similarly with porn. When you’re hyper-aroused, your social and conversation skills are severely impaired, as are your inhibitions. You may think you’re hiding it well, but no one here is fooled. It’s actually coming across quite thick and unmistakable.

Trust me, women here are total and complete freaks. This is a place where we can act upon all our slutty fantasies. Look at how many women are so freely posting pussy shots. I mean, they’re just putting it out there. And seriously, I have a bit of a history with vagina that is not my own, and I have to say, some of you gals have some nasty looking snatches that should probably remain hidden from view. Yet here they are, giving it away for free in all its slutty glory.

The point is that you need to tap into the woman’s natural rhythm of arousal and climax. Just because she’s here and wants some sexual release doesn’t mean you can fast forward through the first 87 minutes of the movie. You still need to establish the characters, define the plot, build the world … otherwise the movie is going to suck no matter how dramatically Dwayne The Rock Johnson saves the day.

So introduce yourself, let me get to know you, let me see what you’re about and what kind of guy you are. We’ll feel each other out and define the nature of the relationship we’re looking for and how serious or casual it will be. Let’s discover our sexual preferences together, not blast it onto the screen 4 lines into the conversation. It’s not fun because it’s not in rhythm. It's just weird and awkward from the woman's point of view.

As to why so many women don’t want to meet

Again, rhythm. When men invite a woman over 8 lines into the conversation, what is he expecting?

Knock on the door
Come in
Thanks, my god you look handsome! Even better than your pics
Aww, shucks
You still worked up and horny like before?
You know it!
Kissing
Hands start wandering, clothes make their way off
Oh my god, you’re so big, I can’t wait to have that in my mouth, can I suck on it?

This is what is expected from . No one treats women this way, and no woman responds this way.

Let’s get painfully real for a second: No matter how horny you both just were a few minutes ago talking online, just jumping straight into sex in person is unrealistic and weird for both parties.

Now, what is a woman imagining will happen should she accept an invitation to meet in person 8 lines into a conversation?

Knock on the door
Come in
Thank you, your place looks nice
No, it doesn’t, but I’m too nice to point out that you shouldn’t have invited me if you couldn’t be bothered to at least hide your piles of laundry
Thanks, did you find the place ok?
Yeah, the directions were spot on
Great

Awkwardness
What's going on here? Am I supposed to kiss him? Hug him? Give him a hearty handshake? Do I tear his clothes off? Do I WANT to tear his clothes off? Should I just go ahead and start taking mine off? Something is supposed to be happening, and it's clearly not happening.

So.... ummm... Would you like something to drink?
Sure
Sit on the couch
Here you go
So what were you up to, just watching tv?
Yeah
Lies! You mere masturbating furiously only a few minutes ago, you made sure to send me 19 pics of it
Anything good?
Not really

More awkwardness

… …
So… what do you like to watch?…
… … …

Really, you finally get a woman to come over, presumably for sex, and you end up reruns of Seinfeld? Little wonder why she's not tempted by your offer.

Wake up! This is nobody’s idea of a good time!

But what else happens can possibly happen instead? Ultimately, I would be standing in a stranger’s living room trying to make awkward conversation with the pressure of sex looming over me. We’re not clicking because I don’t know the guy, and he doesn’t know me. However bad boring and awkward conversation is online, it’s now 1000 times worse having it happen in person without any easy exit.

Erotic fiction often starts this way and ends up having toe-curling sex. In real life, however, this scenario always ends badly.

Now, if you're thinking that being smooth and suave and trying to find the perfect middle ground between the and awkward stupidity ... that's good, that's what you should be doing. But you're not that guy! If you had the skills to pull that off, you would have displayed that already in the online conversation!

The problem here comes back to rhythm. The request to meet is falling in a point in the conversation where it is out of rhythm. When we’re in rhythm, meeting in person will feel natural and comfortable.

Consider for a moment a couple of scenarios:

Scenario 1: Against the odds, you manage to get things hot and heavy with a hot 20-something nubile college . She’s just looking for a some wild college experiences, and sex is up there on her agenda. There is no real conversation, it’s all graphic sex chat and sending tons of trashy selfies. After a few weeks of this, you suggest meeting for dinner. She declines and things proceed to fall apart quickly thereafter. She eventually stops responding entirely.

Here's what happened: Dinner?!? The rhythm that was established did not lend itself for a dinner date. You established a rhythm of NSA sex, then changed to Relationship mode on her abruptly and without warning. That’s a rhythm killer. She’s never going to accept that.

Scenario 2: After weeks of playing it safe, the girl you’ve been working on gets harder and harder to talk to. She’s clearly avoiding you and not responding. When finally able to press for details, she tells you rather harshly that you’re boring and she’s not really interested. You then prove to her that you really are an exciting guy and go into graphic detail about how you’re all about hosting interracial anal gangbangs on the weekends (possibly including goats). She says thanks, but no thanks. You sit there confused as to what just happened.

Here's what happened: This new rhythm is out of sync with what has been established in the weeks prior. If that’s the rhythm you wanted, you should have been introducing that much, much sooner. Otherwise it just sounds like a contrivance of saying anything to keep her talking. She’s not interested in last ditch efforts.

In conclusion, meeting women is more than just what you say, but also when and how you introduce it. We all have natural rhythms. When you’re too horny and you start skipping to “the good parts” because “we both know why we’re here,” you break the rhythm and shoot yourself in the foot.

15 Comments
The Effects of Porn On Your Ability to Get Laid; AKA "You'll Go Blind You Filthy Bastard!"
Posted:Jan 28, 2019 11:29 am
Last Updated:May 5, 2020 2:35 pm
1861 Views




If you want to get laid here, stop watching porn. Seriously.





This site isn’t a choice of real sex OR porn. It is offering real sex AND porn. Unfortunately, those two things are opposing each other, not complimenting each other. And this is all to our collective detriment.

Yes, yes, I know. We were all indoctrinated into believing porn is harmless. There are innumerable studies to that effect that you can point to.

However, those studies were all done in the 60’s and the 70’s … 50 damn ago! Do you really think that’s still applicable today? A lot has changed since then. The amount. The type. The ease of access compared to before. The age of first exposure (shockingly young, enough to make even the most liberal minded among us feel uncomfortable).

These days, boys are masturbating to a dozen open windows of videos, looking for exactly the right thing that’s going to get them off. Porn, by itself, isn’t enough anymore. A hot scene, also, isn’t enough. They don’t have the patience to get through the scene. It has to be the exact stimulation they’re looking for within the scene, no matter how unorthodox or unrealistic.

The problem there is that meeting a real woman for real sex can never be instant gratification. It takes time to talk and cultivate that relationship. It takes witty banter. It takes intriguing conversation. It takes sensitivity to circumstances and situations to create a level of comfort and trust. That takes time.

On top of which, the sex act itself isn’t anything like porn. It isn’t as intense (nor do I want it to be), and has more...how do I phrase this?...unpleasantness...associated with it. Come on, we’re trading bodily fluids, it’s dirty and messy, it has sights, sounds, and smells that can never be confused for “erotic.” I don’t to change positions every 10 seconds. The whole routine of oral-vaginal-anal followed by cumming on her face cycle needs to be scrapped entirely. Real people just don’t have sex like that. Hell, real sex has more HAIR than porn will ever portray.

Guys are a little too focused on giving a woman a screaming orgasm that can be heard by astronauts in orbit. Don’t get me wrong, those are always fun, but that’s not quite what makes a sex session great. I want to have a good time. I want to laugh. It should be fun and look like fun. It shouldn’t look like you’re doing an SAT prep course. Relax a bit. Stop doing that weird lip biting thing. A guy looking that serious will not be invited back for a second audition. Seriously dude, loosen the hell up!

But if we’ve never cultivated that aspect of things, if we’ve never made laughing a priority, then it’s not going to magically happen now simply because we’re now naked together.

Sure, even mediocre real sex beats the best porn you’ll ever find. But porn is low effort. It takes no real investment in time, money, or energy. It is guaranteed to give you exactly what you want.

Meanwhile, real sex is high effort. There’s a huge investment in time. There’s a financial aspect to consider (it’s really hard for it to be completely free). You have to bring your A-Game in terms of personality and charisma.

Porn is comfortable. Porn is a known quantity, you know exactly what you’re going to get. Porn is a guaranteed orgasm. Real sex has none of that. First-time sexual encounters are anxiety ridden experiences. It’s all fumbling and awkwardness. Orgasms aren’t guaranteed. If anything goes wrong, that’s shame on a deeply personal level that is witnessed by another person – that’s hella anxiety!

Whenever the Effort to Reward ratio gets too high, porn eventually wins the day.

This is exactly reflected in my online conversations – Low Effort.

Guys seem unable to carry a conversation without bringing it immediately to sex. They don’t do this consciously or even deliberately. But what other outcome is possible when the instant gratification of porn is the alternative? Either the woman they’re talking to accept immediate graphic sex chat, or guys will instinctively default to porn to fill that desire. So I'm stuck competing with porn.

The whole process of attracting a woman, instead of being part of the fun, is instead viewed as cumbersome chore. Like watching a video and skipping to just-the-right part, the whole process of a sexual encounter wants to be skipped to get to the “good” part. There’s no “thrill of the hunt” anymore. There’s nothing in between the initial Hello and the money Shot. That’s enticing to absolutely no one!

Even with NSA/FWB/whatever-you-want-to--it, there’s still some degree of relationship there. You know each other somehow. Presumably you talk about stuff together. The more your online approach to women takes the form of porn, the less meaningful those relationships are. When the relationship is weak, the sex suffers. If you don’t intrigue me, why would I ever want to see you? (and don’t say because you’ll service me orally as if that’s some rare unicorn, that's just proving my point)

The thing is, I think guys want this too. They’re not getting from the relationship what they’re looking for, but they don’t know why. They’re blaming all the wrong things. They’re blaming it on women being “uppity bitches,” they’re blaming it on women wanting clownishly large genitalia, they’re blaming it on some mystical something else.

It’s not something else. It’s the porn.

9 Comments
The Overuse of Non-Words as Conversation Filler; alternatively … Does Anyone Actually Drink Eggnog?
Posted:Dec 20, 2018 7:25 am
Last Updated:Mar 7, 2020 4:02 am
2076 Views




Merely throwing words on the screen isn’t going to make great conversation magically fall out.

Doubly reprehensible for throwing non-words on the screen.

So get out of your boring and lame conversations and start making an impression by eliminating needless word fluff.





Look at his conversation and take particular note of the timestamps:

7:08 What are you up to today?
7:09 Nothing, just relaxing on the couch watching tv
7:09 lol
7:11 It’s cold out, it’s a good day to stay in
7:11 Yeah
7:13 What are you watching?
7:13 A documentary about the Andrea Doria sinking
7:13 lol
7:16 Is it any good?
7:17 It’s alright
7:17 lol
7:22 What do you do for a living?
7:22 Manager in a retail store
7:23 You like it?
7:24 It pays the bills
7:24 lol
7:27 I work for a roofing contractor
7:28 must be slow for you this time of year
7:29 rotflmao
7:30 yeah
… crickets
7:38 Would you like to meet?
7:41 Thanks, but I don’t know you
7:42 lol
7:44 But how can you know me unless we meet?
7:47 I’m sorry to be blunt, but this is not going to work

This was a friggin 40 minute conversation!!!

The only thing fast about this conversation was how quickly it went nowhere.

Let’s start with a discussion about LOL. It isn’t a word. Let me repeat that, it isn’t a word! It is meant to convey your reaction to what was said. Personally, I don’t quibble about whether or not anyone actually laughed out loud, I accept that, in the digital world, it is the socially accepted way of indicating that you found the statement amusing.

Here’s the problem though, look at that conversation, was anything said that was funny?

Look again.

And again.

It’s just not there.

The constant laughing is not appropriate to the situation. So you end up coming across as a demented psychopath. Am I having a conversation with the Joker?

You know what it sounds like on my end of the conversation?

7:08 What are you up to today?
7:09 Nothing, just relaxing on the couch watching tv
7:09 ... OMG! I’M TALKING TO A GIRL! THIS IS AMAZING! THIS SITE ROCKS!
7:09 ... Don’t blow this, play it cool…

7:09 lol
7:09 ... Damn I’m smooth!
7:10
7:11 ...
7:11 ... Oh no! She’s not responding. Quick, come up with something else to say before she loses interest!
7:11 ... Umm…

7:11 It’s cold out, it’s a good day to stay in
7:11... Oh God, please let her response be something I can turn into something sexual ... and maybe I shouldn’t bring God into this …

Confident men simply don't sound like this. Losers sound like this. Don't be that guy.

There’s no mystery as to what’s going on here. This is what’s known as conversation filler or word fluff. He doesn’t know how to respond, so he’s throwing text on the screen to fill in the silence.

He’s trying to give me an opening to say something. But instead of coming across as polite, it comes across as conversationally lazy. What he’s ultimately doing, intentionally or not, is hoping I’m going to get the conversation going for him. It’s trying to make it my fault for him having nothing to say. Look, if you started the conversation, then you’re driving the car … so drive! Don’t wait on me to do it for you.

Worse yet, this is the worst type of word fluff … it’s not even using words. It’s lazy. Do you really think anyone here is impressed by your knowledge and use of text abbreviations?

It doesn’t give me anything to respond to. It is a conversational dead end. Little wonder I don’t say anything. I have no other choice but to wait for you to say more.

So guess what I do?

That’s right, I sit there and wait for you to say something more.

Again, notice the timestamps. It’s taking him 2 to 3 minutes to come up with something to say. And what he does come up with is hardly scintillating. It’s not progressing the conversation, it’s just wasting time hoping something interesting magically falls out.

At this point, there is no way to salvage the conversation. Too much time got wasted saying, quite literally, nothing.

So what should you do? That’s the million dollar question.

Understand that the “introductory” questions (how are you, what are you up to today, what’s new, etc) are likely to get vague and unspecific responses. You need to be ready to roll with that. When you get the single most expected response of all time, don’t get confused.

Don’t linger too long on the parts neither of you want to talk about. Instead plan ahead for things to immediately jump to that will be more interesting. You don’t even need a good segue. Just do it. It actually comes across smoother than you think.

7:08 What are you up to today?
7:09 Nothing, just relaxing on the couch watching tv
7:10 I would suggest relaxing with some eggnog, but does anyone actually drink eggnog?

This is already vastly more interesting than any of the above conversation, and we haven’t even gotten to the juicy parts yet.

10 Comments
Thoughts on clownishly large genitalia
Posted:Oct 22, 2018 9:43 am
Last Updated:May 5, 2020 2:56 pm
2412 Views




A lot of women aren't nearly as attracted to the male penis as much as you might think





Some of you may have been around when the internet was new. Back during the Dark Ages of dial up connections. Chat rooms were popular, with scrolls and scrolls of text that asked nothing more than ASL until it just annoyed the crap out of everyone. Pics were rare, we had to manually scan our actual photos to get them online, and few of us had scanners.

Nearly every woman online at that time will distinctly remember the phenomena of men claiming to be larger than they actually were.

But Venus, that's still true today!

Not nearly to the same extent today. While men today still exaggerate their penis size, they'll add an inch or so. That's small potatoes compared to what was going on back then.

No one back then was under 10 inches. And since chat rooms were where you talked to drum up interest to go private, it turned into an arms race of who was bigger.

So one guy claimed to be 10 ... followed by someone claiming 11 ... followed by someone claiming 14. This went up to ridiculous measurements, making 14 look tame.

How bad did it get? I distinctly remember one conversation where the arms race got as high as 54 inches!

By way of reference, my husband's pant legs are 30 inches. So this would be an entire foot and half longer than your leg. Doing a quick calculation, if you inserted yourself into my vagina, about two feet of your dick would be coming out of my mouth in the wrong direction.

Are there really people out there who think this is sexy? Not a single woman I've ever known thinks so.

So what do women think of our dicks?

You men give SOOO much thought to this, all needlessly. The reason you're not getting laid has nothing to do with your penis size or shape.

Most women aren't even all that attracted to dicks. We think they're weird looking.

Small dicks ... weird

Big dicks ... also weird

Circumcised ... weird

Uncircumcised ... just as weird

Black dick ... weird

Caucasian dick ... this is still weird people!

Elaine from Seinfeld said it best, "The female body is a... work of art. The male body is utilitarian, it's for gettin' around, like a jeep."

I gotta agree with her. When women fantasize about men, penis is rarely the part of the body they're thinking of. Personally, fantasizing about Rashaad Jenning's abs. I don't think I've given so much as 10 seconds of thought to what his dick looks like.

We get it, you don't like dicks

Actually, slow down there. That's not what you should be coming away with at all. We still like dicks.

We like them because they make us feel Oh So Good.

We like them because it is a visible manifestation of your excitement (women's bodies don't do anything like that to anywhere near the same degree).

We like them because it means you're excited. Knowing that I got you excited makes me excited.

We like them because we know it does for you what my vagina does for me.

It's just that, empirically speaking, there is very little about a penis by itself that is attractive in and of itself.

This does NOT mean that women are all secretly bisexual (come here and let me smack you for that being your first thought). Nor does it mean we don't like dicks. They're amazingly fun to play with.

But, for the most part, I don't want a hard dick in my mouth. That's disgusting.

When my husband is hard, I want HIM in my mouth. If you don't know the difference between a dick in my mouth and my husband in my mouth, then you're not mature enough for this conversation (the exit is over there, do not leave a comment, help yourself to a donut on your way out).

All said and done, women like dicks in conjunction with the person it is attached to.

In other words, dick pics won't ever get you anywhere. Lamenting how you're not getting laid because you're not freak-show endowed is just you being stupid. Thinking if you were a hung black guy your life would somehow be better is just being idiotic to the point of needing to be Darwinian-like removed from the ecosystem. That's just too stupid to be able to function in society.

If you want to get laid more, try ... I dunno ... talking to a girl you might like.


Sure, there is such a thing as a dick that's too small. But for the most part, men don't have this problem. Few men are unacceptably small. Way more women are complaining that their husbands are too big rather than too small. Too big can be uncomfortable, especially if I have to endure that every night. Some nights I just, you know, want to relax. Getting split apart doesn't always sound appealing. Men just can't bring themselves to believe that.

Wait a minute, I must have seen hundreds of profiles of women saying they only want extremely well endowed men

Those Size Queens who are so popular on this site ... they're not looking to meet.

You weren't removed from consideration based on your size. You were removed because they're here for reasons other than to get laid. If she can't enjoy a 6 inch dick, there is nothing magical about a 12 inch dick that will make her cum like a geyser. They're far more likely to be here because they get off on ridiculing men for their own amusement. So any profile that reads "Only 10+ inches need apply" ... run, don't walk.

There's no way to beat her at that game. The only way to win is to not play. Let some other moron fall for her routine.

So there, I've put my thoughts and experiences about dicks out there. Ladies, what is your opinions about dicks? Do share

9 Comments
The Golden Rule Fallacy
Posted:Jan 6, 2018 9:26 am
Last Updated:Sep 20, 2018 4:43 am
6121 Views




Treat others the way they want to be treated, not the way you would want to be treated.





I deserve dignity.

I deserve respect.

I deserve truth and honesty.

I deserve to be treated like an adult.

And you know something, so do you! Therefore, I have to apply the Golden Rule. "Do Unto Others..." and all that.

Women on this site are always crying about this. They keep rhetorically asking guys "How would you like to be treated like this?" To these women, I say: Wake up! Guys here ARE treating you the way they’d like to be treated. The crude IM’s and emails they’re sending… men would LOVE to hear women say that stuff to them. That’s why they’re sending them.

Hence the Golden Rule is a fallacy.

So what is man to do about this?

Guys, women aren’t here for the same reasons you are

Guys are here to get laid. I don’t say that to shame you. In fact, let’s face the reality, this is a hookup site. You’re using it for its intended purpose. So if men are here to get laid, what are women here for? More than anything else, we come here to be entertained.

So nonstop offers of sex just doesn’t do anything for us. In fact, even nonstop sex chat can only last for so long. That works for you guys, but I just can’t stay in that level of arousal for hours at a time. It gets positively exhausting. Why do you think I’m here on the blogs now instead of engaging in a steamy chat session?

Men would love to be judged on their looks (assuming the judgment is favorable)

I’m pretty sure this is why all you guys have dick pics, because to guys, being judged on their penis isn’t so bad. Men don’t find this objectifying. Hell, I’m not even sure men know what being objectified feels like. Sure, they know the definition of the term, but they don’t know the feeling associated with it.

Yes, we women invest a ton of time into our looks. And as much as we may want to be appreciated for that investment, it is a bit superficial don’t you think? This is not the best thing to try to make conversation out of.

Even for women who have sleazy pussy pics (if that sounds a little judge-y, it is meant to be), playing into her game of salivating all over her pics just makes you just one more of the idiots doing the same thing day after day. She’s set herself up as the Queen of a Thousand Subjects. Do you want to present yourself as yet another peon who will grovel at her feet? Or are you the King she desires?

I don’t want to be put on a pedestal

Women want respect, not worship. This whole idea that I am a glorious creature worthy of special praise and honor for simultaneously being alive and a woman is Disney fantasy crap.

Don't call me "Beautiful" if you haven't seen my pics. I haven't earned that title. Nor do you sound sophisticated when you insist on how you feel all women are beautiful no matter what. That's worship and I don't need it.

In fact, don't call me "sweetie" either, or "honey," or any other pet name. It sends the wrong message.

The only women that are attracted to this suffer from self-esteem issues significant enough to place them in medication level mental disorder. No sex – no matter how good – is worth the level of crazy she’ll introduce to your life. And if it is a legitimate mental disorder, this isn’t the solution to it. You are not the hero here. This will only make things worse for her.

Keep this in mind as well, women aren’t above trying to see how much crap we can spoon feed you before you say something. You might be failing a shit-test by pretending everything I do is great and wonderful.

In conclusion, instead of treating others the way you want to be treated, treat others they way they want to be treated.

4 Comments
A Decent Guy Can’t Get a Fair Chance Around Here … Ummm, Let’s Think About That
Posted:Dec 8, 2017 5:30 am
Last Updated:Jun 22, 2019 5:41 am
6468 Views




Don’t tell me I can’t judge a book by its cover. That’s what the cover of the book is for, to tell me what’s inside the book and get me interested in reading it.





Too many guys are complaining that they’re not being given a fair chance. They feel that they’re being prejudged based on incomplete and superficial information. They’re just asking to be given a chance to prove themselves.

So let’s analyze this for a minute:

If you have a sleazy username
… and a dick pic
… … and no profile
… … … and you’re not exactly a hot young stud
… … … … and your pick up line is “Interested in a Dom for intense roleplay?”
… … … … … and you’re asking about meeting up 8 lines into the conversation

Give you a chance??? WTF?!? By my calculations, if you got that far into the conversation I gave you no less than SIX chances, and you blew them all!

The fact that all those chances happened in rapid succession doesn’t change the fact that you had your chance … many chances in fact. You’re only deluding yourself when you complain that "You didn’t give me a chance."

Give some thought to the online presentation of yourself, it is what you are being judged on. Whether or not you want or approve of being judged on that criteria is out of your control. That ship has sailed.

It’s no one thing. It is everything. It all counts. They are, individually and collectively, your "chance."

Do you really have a fair approximation as to what it looks like? How you think you’re presenting yourself and how you are really presenting yourself are often far apart … like different planets apart.

Admittedly, a great many things are out of your control. Your age isn’t what it used to be. Your hair stopped coming out of your head and instead started coming out everywhere else. Your weight will improve as soon as that gym membership starts paying dividends (or at least that’s what I keep telling myself, eventually it might even be true). There is nothing you can do about these things.

Here’s the good news though, even with those disadvantages, your competition here is so abysmal that it doesn’t take much to elevate yourselves over those who have those natural advantages.

So improve the things that are in your control. Use them to present yourself in a favorable light. Don’t pretend that these things don’t count towards your "chance."

It starts with your username

I wrote about this extensively in my last post. You can read more about it there, Case Studies in Usernames

What I wanted to add here is that even if you don’t have a great username, the site allows you to change it without starting from scratch. It is found under My Account – Change Username (at the bottom under Manage Account)

You want to be creative and unique. Something that makes you sound interesting. You’d be surprised at how changing one mere word can change the whole tone of the username. It can make it a little edgier, or sophisticated, or humorous. Sometimes a little tweak can make a world of difference.

So try a few things. Keep trying and experimenting until you find something that works and suits you.

Profile Pic

Volumes can be written on this subject. Perhaps one day I’ll get into it in greater detail, but today is not that day.

Keeping it short, the one rule to override all others is this: Women look at pics and instinctively judge it based on "Can I see myself kissing this guy?"

I have a few quick suggestions, take them for what they’re worth:

  • Lighting is important. It should be sharp, the highest resolution the camera allows, and everything in focus. Just keep retaking the shot until it comes out right. The background should be clean (seriously, untidy bathroom pics immediately ruin the kissing mood).

  • Don’t take a pic straight on, a little off to the side is better. Play around with elevation to see what works, sometimes holding the camera a little higher or lower can really add a little something to the shot. A little above can do wonders to smooth out a double chin.

  • A playful smirk is often better than a toothy smile.

  • Dress the part, even if the clothes aren’t revealed in the pic. Trust me, it changes your demeanor and the camera picks up on that


  • I’m picking these suggestions because they are easy to implement, only requiring a few short minutes of time. It is something you can do right now, tonight. Many other suggestions on the subject take more time and effort, whereas these can pay huge dividends almost immediately.

    Profile Itself

    Ick. I hate profiles. I’m not a big fan of them. Most of them are never read, ever. The ones that are read are pure word fluff and BS. They never reveal anything useful.

    However, there is one caveat to that. The profile should match the tone and flavor of how you are presenting yourself. Clever usernames should have clever profiles. Sporty pics should have profiles that reflect an active lifestyle.

    So if your username is HenchmanSidekick, the first line of your profile should NOT read "I like candlelight dinners and long walks on the beach." It simply does not match with the username! This is exactly the kind of word fluff that renders profiles useless.

    It would be more consistent if the first line read "World domination is kind of my thing." That one line, by itself, would make a vastly better impression than pages and pages of generic "love to travel" ever will.

    Special sidenote, one sentence of this is cute. Six paragraphs is a major turn off. It is like salt, a little seasons the dish perfectly, where a lot ruins the meal.

    I strongly recommend ditching "informative" stuff and instead focusing in on something that might make me laugh. The informative stuff will naturally come out in time. Making me laugh buys you that time.

    Opening Line

    Not much to say about this either. There’s no need to be overly creative. Most guys blow it by saying too much, usually something that is flirty in their minds but is sleazy to the rest of civilized society.

    I don’t give a damn what this site is here for, this is NOT the time to be throwing out your sexual interests to see if we’re compatible. We’ll get to that, I promise. But when you throw it out there in the opening line you come across as a tourettic sex addict.

    Open up with "Hi," and be prepared with more when she responds back. Have a mental map of how you’d like to guide the conversation. Don’t try to find ways of doing all of that in one opening sentence or email. I’ve written at length about how to guide a conversation in the opening rounds in other posts if you need more detail.

    I often use the words like "clever" and "unique" … but this is the one place I wouldn’t recommend it. No matter how good it is, any opening line that sounds rehearsed with get you precisely nowhere. The only time you should be getting cute and clever is if it something that is clearly unique to her (perhaps a reference to her username). Don’t pass up that chance when it comes, but those chances will be few and far between. In the meantime, you should be sticking with a simple pleasantries.

    Whether it is fair or not, you are a book that will be judged by your cover. So take some time to make that cover such that it draws me in. Have a clever username, match it with a profile that presents a favorable tone, and have a pic that women respond favorably to. By doing these things, you won’t be squandering the few chances you’re given.

    24 Comments
    Case Studies in Usernames
    Posted:Dec 5, 2017 1:29 pm
    Last Updated:Mar 7, 2020 4:17 am
    6373 Views




    When talking to women online, no approach or technique will nearly as much as a clever username will.





    Let’s face it, most guys aren’t pure man-candy. Most guys don’t have athlete’s bodies. Most guys aren’t wealthy. Most guys aren’t lyrical geniuses with words. Most guys aren’t world travelers. Most guys, by virtue of the world we live in, are slaves to their jobs and don’t have time to lead facinating and sophisticated lives. Most guys aren’t The Most Interesting Man in the World.

    But here’s the good news … those aren’t the things women first notice in a guy online anyway. So you’re back in the running.

    The first thing a woman notices in a guy is … drumroll pleasehis username!

    You could look like Rashad Jennings (swoon), but if your username is Born2LickPussy, I’ve already clicked off before I’ve noticed those abs (those delicious abs).

    You’d think that would go without saying, but the overwhelming number of guys here need some lessons on this.

    Now, don’t be patting yourself on the back just because your username isn’t a sleazy reference to sex or your penis. I’m also referring to you guys who have lazy and thoroughly unoriginal usernames.

    On the other hand, usernames that are clever and make me smirk a little bit might as well put you in neon letters, in a good way.

    Any Reference to your Genitalia

    This is the low hanging fruit on this topic, so lets just get it out of the way quickly. Any references to your penis get summarily dismissed. No exceptions. I seriously do not care how impressive it is. Usernames like that are not original. They’re not clever. They’re rather infantile.

    Come on, say it with me … penis! Penis-penis-penis! PENIS!

    It’s like you guys just want to stand up and shout “I have a PENIS.” What do you think our reaction to that is? You’re like a 5 year old needing Naked Time. Grow up already!

    LongHardOne
    NYCOCK1971
    9inchStick

    And more time for good measure...PENIS!

    Any combination of the number 4 and the letter U

    What is this? Early 1992? How are you thinking that in all the the internet has been in existence that this is still creative and inventive?

    Bonus points for reading that and thinking “But Venus, was it ever creative or inventive?” … no, no it wasn’t.

    Captain Obvious

    I already know why you’re on the site. It’s a hookup site. I’m not saying that to shame you, that’s the reason the site exists. Don’t feel bad about using it for its intended purpose. Guess what, a lot of women are here for just that too.

    But if you’re username is WantingToPleaseU, you haven’t told me anything I don’t already know. It’s not creative and different. It does NOT tell me that you’re a special snowflake and, unlike others here, care about my pleasure. Get over yourselves. It is a lazy reference to sex. Nothing more, nothing less.

    All it tells me is that you’re here to get laid.

    Thank you Caption Obvious, I already knew that.

    Lookin4NSA
    HornyMale4U
    JustLookingNYC
    MilfHunter

    Yawners

    These are the ones that aren’t sleazy or suggestive. They actually aim to be informative. But they’re just so unimaginative.

    I can hear you guys thinking, “Hmmm … how do I come up with a username? If only there was an algorithm for this!”

    So you guys went ahead and created algorithms. Facepalm!

    Town where you live + Year you were born, current year, or some other arbitrary number

    Hackensack1971
    GlendaleGuy6969
    SullivanCounty82

    Generic factoid + long string of numbers or state abbreviation

    ArmyVet040991
    Love2Travel1234
    DogLoverNJ

    None of these are offensive … but they don’t exactly draw me in either. I see them and yawn. Is that really what you want my first impression of you to be? A yawn? aim higher.

    Any Form of Fanboy Interests

    No1YankeeFan (yeah, you and 10 million other NYers)
    IamBatman (how cute, a man who still wears underoos)
    CenaSmackdown (really, you think you’re going to attract women with wrestling references?)

    It is ok to have these interests … (sort of, no, not really, that’s a discussion for another time) … that’s not the problem. The problem is that you’ve presented yourself as of those social outcasts who live in their parents’ basements collecting Star Wars toys thinking they’re somehow collectibles. Are you a man or a 12 year old boy? They’re NOT “figurines,” they’re ’s toys!

    Incomprehensible Gibberish

    Ever see those people who invest in vanity plates for their cars, but clearly couldn’t get any of the s they want, so they resort to something that clearly means something to them, but is nonsense to the rest of the world? The reaction is universally the same, we all think “Why invest in a vanity plate if it is just gibberish?”

    TK421 (I don't care if this means something to Star Wars fans, it’s gibberish to the rest of us)
    Ynghngstud (how many of you hstly read this as “Young Hung Stud” at first glance?)
    2BNot2B (don’t bother with Shakespeare unless you can do him well)

    Some Positive Examples

    I don’t like being all negative. So here’s a few that I came up with that I would try if I was a guy creating a new account.

    CulinaryJedi (a more creative way of saying “I like to cook”)
    OneLeftShoe (I don’t know why you only have one left shoe, but I’m open to hearing the story behind this)
    UptownCaveman (I can vouch that this works)
    IllogicalPossibility (I tend to like oxymorons, they always sound intriguing)

    IllAdvisedChoice (a better way of saying “I’m the bad boy your mother warned you about”)
    FunkyNinjaSkills (Bruno Mars funky? Yeah! We need the funk, gotta have that funk!)

    I would gladly say hi to any who messaged me with a username like any of these.

    You may not be a lyrical genius, but if you’re going to venture into a forum that is pure words, it may be prudent to spend some time developing your skills verbally. That starts with a good username. You’ll gain more attention with a clever username than you will with a hot pic.

    20 Comments
    Domination as Violence Against Women
    Posted:Nov 24, 2017 8:06 am
    Last Updated:Mar 7, 2020 4:22 am
    6287 Views




    Get over your bullshit excuses, you’re looking to hit a woman you don’t know. That is not a legitimate sexual fetish. It is disturbing and you need help.





    Getting into the usual bullshit excuses:

    You don’t know what you’re talking about, the practice of bondage isn’t about violence

    Yeah … I baited you into that smug response.

    Bondage play is about TRUST. But you knew that, right? Why else would you be correcting me?

    I’m not into the bondage scene. But make no mistake, I’m no prude either. I know vastly more than you think … and, in my experience, usually more than the people making this lame excuse.

    Here’s the conversation thus far:

    HIM: Hi, interested in a 48 year old Dom from Westchester?

    So, recapping this conversation (I know, there’s just soooo much to go through, but I had to put the entire conversation in there to capture the subtlety … cause it’s just so subtle), he felt it to be his most defining characteristic, something to tell me before he even tells me his name!

    I haven’t even responded yet and he’s expressed interest in tying me up and hitting me.

    So whether it is on the opening line or 5 lines in, when exactly was trust established? So if you want to lecture me about what bondage is about, you might want to check how the conversation actually went down first.

    We would have gotten to know each other and established comfort and trust, you didn't give me that chance before pontificating

    Let me see if I understand this right, the way you expect this conversation go looks something like this:

    1. You offer your services as a Dom

    2. I express interest in being dominated

    3. You then shift gears to more prosaic conversation to establish rapport .... ??????

    In all of recorded history ... even in prehistory with sexual reproduction among bacteria ... this has NEVER happened!

    Interest in bondage, whether on the dom or sub side, is considered by most in the mental health industry as common and harmless

    What’s happening here is that people are taking the arguments about bondage being harmless and normal (more or less) in committed, established relationships and attempting to apply them when dealing with strangers. Needless to say, that's flat out wrong.

    Now, most of the people doing this kind of nonsense aren’t true Doms. They’re psuedo-doms, posers, wannabes. I get that.

    I also get that people sometimes just want to try new practices and see how they fit, to see if it works for them. Hey, I’m all for sexual exploration.

    The problem in this case is that people are "experimenting" with hitting women. If you have to try it to see if you like it, if you have to wonder about that, then that’s already crossing a line.

    You keep saying "hitting" … caning is not hitting

    Yes, it is. Stop pretending it is anything but.

    The instant you take the pain aspect away from it, all interest in it is immediately lost. So yeah, it is about pain.

    There is a difference, this is gentle and being done under safe conditions

    I have only your assurance for that. I don’t yet trust you enough to give you my email or social media info so you can contact me later, yet I’m going to trust you with my body? WTF??

    We don't have to engage in that stuff if you're not into it

    My experience has been that people who push for it that early in the conversation are simply unable to back off from it. It isn't a switch they're capable of turning off.

    Any sexual practice that you have no control over is not normal, healthy sexuality. Hence you are to be avoided.

    In conclusion, I am well aware of how common bondage fetishes are around these parts. Many people, including possibly some who are well respected here, will no doubt look at this and take exception to it. Too bad. Truth is not subject to democracy.

    5 Comments
    "You There?" -- No, I'm not, get over it
    Posted:Nov 21, 2017 7:24 am
    Last Updated:Dec 5, 2017 1:21 pm
    6279 Views





    Men hate when women get hostile on them "for no reason." Yet this question universally instills hostility.





    Before discussing this any further, let's get it out of the way:

    NO! IF I DIDN'T RESPOND THE FIRST 4 TIMES YOU TRIED TO GET ME, THEN I'M NOT "THERE"!

    Ask yourself, do you really want me saying that to you before the conversation has even started? So then why ask the question?

    Now, getting into it, here's why she's not "there":

    I'm Busy

    Whether I'm talking to someone else or putzing around elsewhere on the internet while the site is open, either way you somehow drew the short straw.

    You know something, too bad. Seriously. I recognize no obligation to spend X number of minutes talking to X number of new chat requests. Get over it.

    I'm On Mobile

    I thought everyone knew this, but apparently not. When you log into the site from a mobile device, it automatically puts you on IM.

    So I may be checking in for various reasons, yet have no intention of talking to anyone. That has nothing to do with you. So no reason for you to be offended.

    I Don't Like You

    That's right, I said it. You know something, I'm standing by it too.

    Honestly, I don't want to hear your whining on this. I was polite enough to keep it to myself. You were the one who pushed it out of me by insisting to talk to you. So there it is.

    But you don't even know me, you're not giving me a fair chance

    I don't need to know you. You're 54 years old and you're coming at me with a dick pic and a username along the lines of HARD4U or some other nonsense. I know everything there is to know about you. There's only one type of guy who fits that mold, and you are NOT the exception.

    If you're a sophisticated and worldly man, you wouldn't have used that pic or gone with that lame and thoroughly uncreative username. Plain and simple.

    Plus, your age bracket and lack of experience in this arena also tells me you're married.

    But I didn't call you out on that, I simply ignored you. You forced it out of me. Happy now?

    In conclusion, asking someone "You there?" after she's repeatedly ignored all your earlier attempts is a one way ticket to being permanently ignored.

    There's really nothing you can do instead. Take it like a man and just try again next time. And if she still doesn't talk to you, then accept the fact that she doesn't want to talk to you. If you can't handle that, then this is a sandbox you shouldn't be playing in. This one is for big boys.




    Ok, I ranted enough for one day
    7 Comments
    What we really mean when we cite "I’ve been busy" to explain ourselves
    Posted:May 8, 2017 6:43 am
    Last Updated:Sep 26, 2017 6:16 am
    12120 Views

    I haven’t blogged much lately. Nor have I even commented much on other people’s blogs. I’ve been too busy.

    Yup, there it is, the dreaded "I got busy" excuse.

    I know I’m not the only one who cites this as a reason for vanishing. It seems to be a cultural norm here. You know what I’m talking about ... we’re talking to someone, everything is going great, then suddenly BAM – things take a drastic turn for no discernible reason. You can’t get a conversation going past "Hi" and a few pleasantries (if you can get even that much out of them). When pushing for details, the answer always comes back as "I’ve just been busy."

    Now, people don’t get busy for 4, 5, 6 weeks at a stretch. So what’s really going on here?

    Doing some introspection on that issue (since I’m going through it right now), here’s what I’ve come up with:

    I was only legitimately busy for 2 weeks or so. But that doesn’t explain the precipitous drop in participation here. In fact, I’ve been back for several weeks now. While that excuse worked at one point, I have to admit that it no longer applies now. I am NOT busy.

    I lost my rhythm.

    I’ve got pages and pages of notes. So I’ve got plenty of material to work with, that’s not the issue. I just can’t sit down with it and do anything with it. Time is no longer the issue, nor is it writers block. I just don’t feel motivated to get the creative juices flowing. I sit down with it, and within about 10 minutes I’ve become distracted by something else. Oh, look, something shiny over here......

    Not just with blogging, but the entire sphere of social networking. I'm just using myself and blogging as microcosm of all online communication.

    Time lapses, relationships languish, then when I'm finally back I don’t really remember where we left off, and I don’t feel like summoning the energy to rekindle things (even if it is just a friendship relationship and not a sexual/flirty one). What do I do?

    All outcomes are ultimately bad. I can participate in bland conversations just to be polite. You all know how much I HATE bland conversations. It is polite, but it is essentially running out the clock until they finally give up (making them the bad guy).

    Or, to avoid that, I just don’t respond at all and dodge the issue entirely. It isn’t particularly kind, but it is easier. They didn’t do anything wrong, yet an explanation is only going to make it worse. I'm not proud of it, but this is usually the one I go with.

    I mean, how would you explain it if you were being totally upfront and honest? "I'm sorry, but I just haven't felt up to talking to you?" And then what? Follow up with "It's not you, it's me?" Yeah, guys just love that. So yeah, I take the easy way out.

    I wish I could say I have advice in how to deal with that when you're on the other side of that equation, when someone is distant because they're "busy." I don’t. There is nothing you can do when the other person is going through that except to watch helplessly. Maybe they come back, maybe they don’t. If you take offense to being sidelined, I don’t necessarily blame you.

    My advice: nobly accept that you’ve lost and walk away with your dignity intact. Maybe you didn’t "lose" to another person. But life has this nasty habit of getting in the way.

    This is the price of these alternative relationships (NSA, FWB, FB, whatever). You DON’T have a relationship. These relationships are little more than sex while reserving the right to walk away at any time with no hard feelings.

    Even if it isn't here, even if it is on PG-rated sites, social networking is NOT a substitute for genuine face-to-face relationships. I don't care what anyone else has to say on the matter. It is the social equivalent of artificial sweeteners ... tastes good, but a terrible substitute for actual nutrition. Social networks have the benefit of keeping everyone at a comfortable arms distance, but has the drawback of keeping them at arms distance.

    This is the moment where the other person exercised that clause in the social networking agreement. There’s nothing you can do to stop it. You don’t even have the right to be upset. That’s the contract you agreed to.




    Let me open this up for discussion. Does this happen to you? Do you feel guilty when it does? How do you handle it?

    4 Comments
    On the Elusive Out of Town on Business Meet...
    Posted:Apr 27, 2017 10:49 am
    Last Updated:Nov 6, 2018 12:01 pm
    12214 Views





    You’re a guy, the company is sending you out in a business meeting, you have a hotel for a night or two … time to get wild!





    Let me get this out of the way first: No judgments here, I totally get it.

    Being stuck in a hotel is God-awful boring. It isn’t your town, it isn’t your home, it isn’t your couch, it isn’t your bed. No matter how luxurious the accommodations, it is invariably uncomfortable. I don’t blame you for not wanting to find a strange restaurant and have to eat awkwardly all by yourself. I don’t want to do that either. Alcohol is surely going to enter the picture at some point to help take the edge off. So now there’s lowered inhibitions, the stress of being in a strange place, and extreme boredom to contend with … a problem that practically BEGS for sex as a solution.

    I get it. I know why you guys are all blowing up my IM looking for it. I totally understand.

    So, if I’m going to have a blog giving all my thoughts as to how to pick up women, I should probably address this one. So here goes nothing ...

    How to pick up a girl in a strange town for a one night stand

    Unfortunately, a healthy dose of reality is what's really needed here.

    Just because I’m not judging you for looking for Business Meeting Sex doesn’t mean I’m in any way receptive to the idea of a one night stand with you. I don’t relish the idea of being summoned merely to provide a warm wet hole for your amusement when you’re bored. I don’t like being used purely for sex.

    "But I.....*"

    No ... stop that train of thought right there … before you say it… you are using me purely for sex. We will not be having a relationship of any kind … not even platonic chat buddies. What would be the point? For the off chance that you find your way back to my town? That’s just never going to happen. Any notion otherwise is you merely trying to ease your conscience by promising something you will never deliver.

    What you need is to find someone who IS willing to be used purely for sex.

    The local bar scene is almost a lost cause these days. Does anyone still go to them with the expectation of hooking up? Maybe in some college towns, but every time I’ve been in a bar in recent years it was all platonic groups who are just looking to drink together and hang out, nothing more. They are there for their group, not to meet new people.

    It’s a longshot, but if you’re lucky enough to be put up in a big enough city, the hotel bar might have fellow travelers looking for the same thing. They’re all in similar circumstances as you. You are already in most of the same demographics. Just be yourself.

    Otherwise, I hate to go there, but this is unfortunately your best bet if you’re that hard up:

  • Open up your web browser

  • Go to Backpage

  • Find some pretty young thing

  • Call her up

  • I mean, I don’t approve of the sex trade. Let’s face it, though, this IS what you’re looking for. Someone you can use and subsequently dispose of. She’s not going to mind. I, however, will mind very much if you tried to use me like that.

    In fact, now that we’re on that subject, let me go on a quick tangent here … whether out of town or not, some of you guys I really have to wonder about. You guys reek of desperation. If you’re that hard up, exactly why aren’t you hooking up with ?

    You won’t have to drive 2 hours to meet them (like many of you guys keep offering me), they won’t cost as much as the fancy dinners you keep suggesting, and won’t be needy and start texting you nonstop afterwards. They’ll even respect that you’re married and keep things discreet for you (cause you all know you’re all a bunch of lying, cheating men)

    Again, I’m not supporting that behavior, just making an observation. This is the ONLY way you can get laid without putting any work into it. Isn't that what you're really looking for?

    Who knows, maybe you all are and I just don’t know about it. They’re making their money somehow.


    At any rate, I’m rambling now. The Out-of-Town meet is the Holy Grail of the sex world. Everyone is looking for it, nobody is finding it. That's because it is a lost cause. Give up on the idea.

    So, in conclusion, here's what you should do when you're out of town on a business meeting and you're horny beyond words...

    Find a nice place to eat, rent Star Wars: Rogue One, then call your wife at home and tell her you love her before finally going to bed.

    6 Comments
    "Is There Anything You'd Like to Ask Me?"
    Posted:Apr 24, 2017 12:28 pm
    Last Updated:Oct 25, 2018 11:47 am
    12315 Views




    This is a ridiculous question. Learn to stop asking it.





    The inevitable question: Him: Is there anything you’d like to ask me?

    No, there isn’t. If there was, I’d have IMed you to do so.

    This is ALWAYS because men have given absolutely NO thought whatsoever as to where to take the conversation once it gets started. There is always a specific moment where this question comes up ... it is always early in the conversation, immediately after the checklist questions.

    You know what I mean by "checklist questions" …

    How are you today?
    What are you up to?
    What are you looking for?
    What do you do for a living?
    Do you have pics?


    ...uh oh, out of questions to ask...

    Umm, is there anything you’d like to ask me?

    As the guy, MAN UP and take the lead.

    You initiated the conversation, the burden is on you to carry that conversation. This is a clumsy attempt at sidestepping a social responsibility that you shouldn't be trying to sidestep in the first place!

    You need more than a few basic questions to get things flowing. None of those questions open up conversation in any meaningful way. There’s just not enough range of possible responses to get things moving. These are all questions that universally get met with vague and guarded responses.

    The perennial problem in chatting with women online is how to make conversation out of nothing. It isn’t the easiest skill in the world to master, nor does it come natural to most people. Especially when dealing with someone who has no pic and a vague profile, the cards are really stacked against you.

    However, I’ve tried it and it CAN be done. I gave my specific thought process in this post – Play by Play of How I Have Conversations. Included in that is how to handle monosyllabic grunt-like responses. Maybe you don’t like my approach, I don’t claim to have the only successful method, but having no method at all is guaranteed failure.

    You simply cannot fall back on "Is there anything you’d like to ask me?" to bail you out of a mess of a conversation you created by your lack of forethought.
    8 Comments

    To link to this blog (VenusRedux2) use [blog VenusRedux2] in your messages.

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