Some Thoughts About When I Converse with Couples  

VenusRedux2 44F
338 posts
4/17/2017 7:50 am
Some Thoughts About When I Converse with Couples

Whether you’re solo or part of a couple, I know how I like to be talked to. So if you’re a couple, here’s a couple of notes to keep in mind.

Getting straight to it, I outright do not believe you are a couple. You’re a married guy looking for a little action on the side.

How do I know this? Because she is NEVER around. I have yet to speak to her. She’s always mysteriously away. She’s always at work. Always tired. Always sleeping. Always an excuse. So much so, that it is clear that if we were to ever agree to meet, I’m 100% certain you’ll find a convenient excuse as to why she can’t make it.

In other words … you are not a couple.

Maybe I’m way off base here, but there’s just NO WAY that if my husband and I wanted to spice up our sex lives in this way that I’d just leave it all to him and be a disinterested party. That just doesn’t pass the smell test.

So this begs the question, if you really are a couple, how do you approach women?

I can’t say this is universal, but these are my rules based on my experiences here (nearly all bad experiences).

The woman MUST be the one who does the initiating

If I see a couples profile pop up on my IM, see a woman’s pic next to it, you open by telling me your a couple … well … then … I’m expecting you to be a couple. I don’t know how that’s confusing to all you couples out there.

It is entirely inappropriate to wait a dozen lines into the conversation you reveal you’re all by yourself at the moment. At this point, I’m feeling taken advantage of. The basis for my decision to talk to you has been taken away from me. It is manipulative.

Please, save the excuses, you know there is no justification for this.

Ditch the couple’s profile if the woman is not in the mix

You’re just a guy. No matter what permissions you may have, this isn’t some unique situation. There are more than enough open relationships out there, especially on this site. This does not require a couple’s profile. Make a profile for a guy, and put Married in the box for Relationship Status. You’re going to do that because that’s what you are.

Excuses in this regard come across as lame. It takes 10 seconds to create an account that accurately represents who you are.

Even if you are an actual couple, you’re not some magical unicorn

I don’t know if real couples are actually doing this or not, but the fake ones sure are … but please don’t think I’m so enthralled by the prospect of having a threesome with you that you’re somehow the shit. You’re not. Nearly every couple seems to think I’m frothing at the mouth wanting to meet them despite their dull and thoroughly uninspiring conversations.

Same rules apply as for single people, if you’re dull and uninteresting online, I’m going to find you dull and uninteresting offline. Why would being a couple exempt you from that?

You still need to have an interesting conversation to get me interested.

Personally, just speculation here, but I think this is why so many solo guys are using couple’s profiles. They think it magically frees them from the constraints of social norms that apply to everyone else. They think I’m so interested in this rare offer that I will overlook lame conversation and any notion that we may not even be compatible.

I’m not into couples. Despite how threesomes look in porn, they always struck me as awkward in reality. However, every once in a while some couple will message me and try to change my mind. Depending on my mood, I may give you a shot and converse with you. However, so many of you are solo guys that it often isn’t worth my time. These are all the issues that are dead give-aways that you’re not for real.

funsmartfriendly 51M/50F  
2149 posts
4/22/2017 9:16 am

We are a couple, we are very, very real and we're out here meeting other couples and select single males. T (that's me, the man) does 95% of the setup and scheduling, but I am only responsible for about 5% of deciding what we actually do. K is the decider. Yes, I have input, but it's minimal into what we actually do.

Last night, we were on a second date with a couple. I didn't do anything and my wife, K, took a shower with the other woman That's what she decided she wanted us to do and that's what WE did.

(I enjoyed the show, however)

That's how we do this anyway

Are there fake couples out there? Sure there are. Just as there are transgenders saying they are females on here,

We hear there are so many fake couples here and maybe there are, but we have and do meet couples that are very real -- like us.

TrucknLuvn 55M/37F  
1609 posts
4/18/2017 8:39 am

My husband and I tend to share the responsibility of reaching out to other couples, however I prefer to take the lead when it comes to reaching out to the single ladies. Why? Because if the two ladies don't get to know each other, the threesome would never work. There has to be chemistry or else it falls flat.

Getting back to when we contact other couples, I will reach out to the female half and strike up a conversation. We will also voice verify over the phone with all four involved in the conversation. If that doesn't happen, the meet doesn't happen. We've had our time wasted more than a few times by dudes pretending they have a wife. It's truly frustrating.

♡Jess: The Trucker Babe


Want more? Be sure to check out my blog: TrucknLuvn!

VenusRedux2 replies on 4/18/2017 12:46 pm:
That's exactly it. If the ladies don't get along, it isn't going to play out well. It ends up being your husband doing some random chick. If the woman isn't 110% on board with it, whatever jealousy or insecurity issues are bound to rear its ugly head. That's about the last position I want to find myself in.

The only way the ladies are going to get along is if the ladies were talking and making things happen from the beginning ... not with some lame attempt to shoehorn mutual attraction into it after things are already in motion.

Resident_Bitch 102M/102F  
9133 posts
4/18/2017 6:54 am

I don't think single folks should be mixed with 'cheating' folks with the letters, as not everyone will know the rule of putting 'cheating' in the headliner....and some folks can't even admit they have a partner even though it is clear they have....

It really needs another letter......

A thing I find 'odd' about couple profiles are the pics.....rarely is the male, usually just the female used as a 'lure/bait'.....and, if they are genuine couples, why are selfies as individuals and not couple selfies, or proper pics of partner
I guess because, they are not real couples......

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VenusRedux2 replies on 4/18/2017 7:23 am:
I have a LOT to say about the pic issue with couples.

The whole idea of a solo guy using his wife's pics as lure/bait is disgusting to me. If she is never going to be around, he's just pimping her body out to satisfy his own selfish desires.

What kind of man does that to his wife who he professes to love?

I have to wonder how many of these fake couples actually think they're getting more attention. I'm merely in the conversation for the inevitable schadenfreude, not because I'm interested.

BiggLala 48F  
27754 posts
4/17/2017 11:23 am

Like you, I firmly believe the majority of couples profiles are just the males and she may or may not even be aware the profile exists. I have yet to interact with a genuine couple on here. Other than bloggers, 100% of the 'couples' profiles that contacted me were the males...always, always, ALWAYS. A few even pretended to be the female, but later slipped up and gave themselves away that I'd been conversing with the male the entire time (I know it's the male by how they interact, but I play along when bored, lol ). Yes, mostly it's been 'she's not participating right now because __________, so it's just me'.

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VenusRedux2 replies on 4/17/2017 2:32 pm:
There's no reason to pretend to be something else. We all talk to guys as it is. So while they think they're having more success pretending to be a couple (which is why I think they do it), it is only for the reasons you say ... to amuse myself watching them dig a hole they can't climb out of.

CowboyandaGeek 38M/34F

4/17/2017 8:44 am

We don't really understand it - if said couple gets you to come meet them, and it turns out to be a single guy in the end, does he really think that you're going to shrug your shoulders and just fuck him, since you're there anyway?

Most "couples" seem to want a sexy single lady to join them (and most will settle for any lady with a vagina to join them), but you available ladies are the cream of the crop and have so many options: single guys, mf couples, groups, single girls, female-only couples who want you, etc etc...

My babe told me when we started on this site "single girls are next to impossible... if we are serious about being involved in the lifestyle, we need to be open to couples".

We don't understand why anyone would try to lie about their identity - if you get to meet someone in person on the site, which one would imagine is the goal, you figure you can see with your own eyes if you have what had been advertised.

Excellent post, by the way - but maybe that is why the site has "verification" options. Don't get to involved with unverified couples?

Cowboy and a Geek

VenusRedux2 replies on 4/17/2017 9:15 am:
Do couples in this lifestyle really have such low standards? I get that men can be like that. But if there's a woman involved on their end, this makes me question the whole validity of their claim to be a real couple.

From my perspective, the whole idea that someone's man is going to be INSIDE me, and her attitude is "whatever, as long as it's a functional vagina" ... that just doesn't make any sense to me. Women just aren't like that.

Maybe I'm wrong and there are some women like that. But if I am, it still makes things an incompatible match. I would NOT be comfortable being in the middle of that.

UrbanMale7 70M

4/17/2017 8:41 am

It's a good post. It is my opinion that many M/F couples profiles are phony. In many cases a woman sets this up so she has less fear of harrassment from men. I have long suspected this when the "couple" has no pictures.

VenusRedux2 replies on 4/17/2017 9:03 am:
Even I don't have pics, though for different reasons.

Too often it isn't the woman setting up the profile, it is the man. I could understand reasons for a woman to do this, but it never comes up.

But I agree, most couples profiles are phony. That's why I have these rules that I expect when one tries to contact me.

justskin1 68M
11516 posts
4/17/2017 8:07 am

I used to be amazed at the number of "couples" where I never hear from the woman. The guy claims he makes the arrangements for them. Now why would I, a straight man, want to hook up with a couple where the woman has no say. Always comes off at he is the one who wants sex and maybe no she at all. IF, I was to join up with a couple she would have to be the one to ask me.
You did nail the important points and Couples profiles are not used by guys looking for women.
BTW I think that threesomes can be a great fantasy but like you I think they would be awkward and certainly not as good as the fantasy implies.

If you see me in the real world, come say "Hi Justskin."

I always behave. Preferably not well.

VenusRedux2 replies on 4/17/2017 8:18 am:
The best description I've heard is that Threesomes are nothing more than Twosomes with one person waiting for their turn.

I'm totally selfish, I'm above waiting. I want all attention on me.

VenusRedux2 44F
518 posts
4/17/2017 7:52 am

Just a rant about all these "couples" who try to approach me when I know from the beginning they're a solo guy.

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