*Kink,Relationships, etc.*  

coranimuscorcill 54F  
614 posts
5/21/2017 8:09 am
*Kink,Relationships, etc.*


Hello, All-

Meelp has a sister site, ALT, where I am also a member. The following post is also on my blog there. As always, constructive comments are welcome below, so please share.

This post began as a reply to an email. I am posting here because this is a short summary of 'the basics' I learned about BDSM with additional words of caution added 5/21/2017. Additional EDIT: 7/20/2017: No, not into pain, scat, bl**d, permanent marks, or anything illegal.

**Relationships** are what define the B&D, the D/s, M/s, and S&M.
There is a lot of misinformation floating about in 'vanilla society' as well as the world of kink, given the influx of curious kinksters following the 'Grey' books and movies.

When I first began to learn about BDSM, I was fortunate to read tons and communicate with people involved in the lifestyle for decades. This subject still fascinates me, which is why I am on certain "alt" adult-themed & "fet life" types of websites (as CogitareCor).

Among the highest of priorities, I learned the importance of getting to know anyone with whom I may want to play because the person may or may not be 'safe' in many regards such as respecting boundaries/limits. -In other words, meet in a public place and talk in order and use good sense to gauge a person's integrity.

Contracts can help save a whole lot of legal issues if someone gets emotionally hurt then calls pre-negotiated play abuse. There are literally people in prison because of leaving marks on a masochist who testified in court that he/she gave full consent to receive the marks. Those are the kinds of stories that made me better understand "Safe, Sane, Consensual" (SSC) and Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) and the importance of contracts. I would add that being sober and clear headed are part of safety and consent as well as personal responsibility. If nothing else, at least one would be aware that the 'feeling good' part of kinky play is actually the kinky play rather than a substance.

Last fall, the importance of actually getting to know a person really came home to the kink community on an international level when someone who titled himself as _The_Wolf_ was arrested after being reported to the authorities in Australia. Let this case be an example to all interested in and/or involved with kink, regardless of depth of interest/involvement. Why? Because this person put himself upon a pedestal and others built a virtual royal palace around that pedestal to the point of not only enabling his crimes (making them accessories to those crimes in certain instances) but also covering up and minimizing his crimes in public online forums. Some of his victims were publicly shamed in these same online forums. **This is another example of why there are countless posts about consent in kink forums.** Some of these victims thought that the others (usually women) who were present during certain encounters with this predator would bring added safety. Wrong!! ** No one is safe in a cult mentality situation. **

As far as 'play' having levels with D/s in the middle of M/s & Top/bottom, that is very misleading because all involve relationships. Just because people are M/s, doesn't mean that the relationship is 'extreme' or severe as there are numerous Masters who are quite sensual and not into any type of pain. The Master is first a Dom over the sub, who, upon completing a period of 'consideration' of the Dom may/may not become his slave. The same is true of women who are Dommes who consider subs to become slaves. Those relationships usually involve the sub officially becoming a slave upon receipt of his/her collar. Collars can vary in meaning, size, shape, color, material, etc. The exact meaning behind the collar is decided between the giver and the receiver. The Dom/Domme/Master [also called D-types for Dominant] titles are all considered 'tops.' The sub and/or slave (called s-types) are bottoms.

That brings us to those who are titled as a 'Switch,' like me. I am a sensual Domme personality but would bottom/sub for *only one* who would earn it and be safely entrusted with my gift. Nina Hartley said of her husband, Ernest Greene, "I am not "a" sub, I am *his* sub," which I thought was the perfect description of the Alpha sub, which I have considered myself in the past.

All of this to say that true BDSM is about relationships more than role play, though there is a definite place for role play..

Regards,
Cor
5/7/2017 5:51 pm
Edited 5/21/2017 to add certain points about safety and to change ALT forum to Role Play

You're invited to CorPlay anytime.
Kinky-ish coffee or before bed time fun in favorite chat rooms.
Life is too short not to laugh!
Peace, light, love


CleavageFan4U 62M  
58042 posts
11/19/2017 8:53 am

I too have an account on that ALTernate site, but haven't logged in there is years. (Eventually I found this place, and that it has vastly more members, including pretty much everyone on there.)

Amazingly enough, even though I was never a paying member on that site, I DID manage to meet someone via it - see [post 1727131] for that story.

As a side note, all the volumes in the "He and She" series are true stories, and [post 3206196] (which for some reason shows NO comments as of today ) contains an index.

Fill in the Blank for Dummies
Too Late for a Picnic
Music, On HNW
Private Cleavage My Private Blog - Tell Me ALL Your Secrets


coranimuscorcill replies on 11/19/2017 2:09 pm:
Um, ok.

citizen4722 61M  
62713 posts
11/17/2017 8:29 am

I'm aware of the ALT sister site and my curiosity got the better of me some time ago. Truth be told, I was just browsing and never really got into it.
I do read and follow other bloggers posts who are into the BDSM lifestyle.


coranimuscorcill replies on 11/17/2017 9:43 am:
citizen4722 - A lot of people share your experience.

Luv24Q2 42M
824 posts
8/28/2017 5:11 pm

Coran, your adept description & understanding this topic is really fascinating...and HOT. I like your"sensual" twist to the lifestyle. Love to chat and pick your kinky, naughty brain. sometime .


coranimuscorcill replies on 9/7/2017 5:15 am:
Luv24Q2 - Thanks for your reply. Exchanging dialogue is why I'm here, so pick away and be prepared for the same.

rmTurboDET 43M

7/26/2017 3:04 pm

    Quoting coranimuscorcill:
    rmTurboDET - You have earned my respect with this thorough read & reply!
    We must discuss this further in email. I like to learn what others, especially men, find interesting in the sensual sharing you describe of the Switch role.
Thanks! I'd love to discuss that some more (much more!).

I'll drop a private message to you on your page for that. Also, I have a private comment page on my own blog: [post 3992086]

Nice to "meet" you!


coranimuscorcill 54F  
802 posts
7/26/2017 12:03 pm

    Quoting rmTurboDET:
    Great reading, Cor! I'd like to make several short remarks in response (your material in italics)


    Passion has a sister site, ALT, where I am also a member.
    I had a subscription there briefly, and decided to walk off from that site altogether. I viewed it as a good place to talk openly about kinks and fetishes, only to find very quickly that the site is fraught with fake profiles, and people who merely want to banter and bullshit about the subject matter, but don't want to engage in any serious exchange. Also -- being a Switch -- I disliked the way that some people tried to dominate the various group chats with their crap about how they thought it should all be about "domination" versus "submission" and all about the so-called "power exchange", versus the sensual/sexual aspect. As if anyone who didn't share their world-view had no business being there. Sorry, but I refuse to pay good money on a membership just to put up with that nonsense.


    **Relationships** are what define the B&D, the D/s, M/s, and S&M.
    There is a lot of misinformation floating about in 'vanilla society' as well as the world of kink, given the influx of curious kinksters following the 'Grey' books and movies.



    I fully agree on that point. Personally, I never read the books you referenced; I simply know what I happen to enjoy. As a Switch, it is -- for me -- about 100% reciprocation of stimuli, a desire for my partner(s) and me to fully share the top/bottom experience, and a desire/need to feel every type of plateau/orgasm I'm able to give my partner and to experience them as much as possible the same way she experiences them.

    We all have the same nerves in the same places, so as a straight male it's always made sense that I should still be able to cum anally or from nipple stimulation. I've experienced and enjoyed both, and I think it was a matter of accepting the fact of the same innervations and allowing myself to cum from these stimuli. Unfortunately (for them) a lot of other straight guys carry a psychological opposition to this, thinking (mistakenly) that's it's "gay" or "femme". I couldn't disagree more, and I think a lot of guys are really missing out.


    ...why I am on certain adult-themed websites.

    Exactly! My view is that if you can't discuss these matters here, then where ???



    Last fall, the importance of actually getting to know a person really came home to the kink community on an international level when someone who titled himself as _The_Wolf_ was arrested after being reported to the authorities in Australia.

    I read of a similar individual in Oregon a couple of years ago. I forget the name, however several profiles out of that area were warning about a similar individual. Unfortunately, this is an all-too-common occurrence.


    ... virtual royal palace around that pedestal to the point of not only enabling his crimes (making them accessories to those crimes in certain instances) but also covering up and minimizing his crimes in public online forums. Some of his victims were publicly shamed in these same online forums. **This is another example of why there are countless posts about consent in kink forums.** Some of these victims thought that the others (usually women) who were present during certain encounters with this predator would bring added safety. Wrong!! ** No one is safe in a cult mentality situation. **

    Not just there, but such predatory individuals will often bring these attitudes and behaviours into all other aspects of their lives. E.g.: their business practices, "office politics", legal bullying and the like.
rmTurboDET - You have earned my respect with this thorough read & reply!
We must discuss this further in email. I like to learn what others, especially men, find interesting in the sensual sharing you describe of the Switch role.

You're invited to CorPlay anytime.
Kinky-ish coffee or before bed time fun in favorite chat rooms.
Life is too short not to laugh!
Peace, light, love


rmTurboDET 43M

7/26/2017 8:42 am

Great reading, Cor! I'd like to make several short remarks in response (your material in italics)


Passion has a sister site, ALT, where I am also a member.
I had a subscription there briefly, and decided to walk off from that site altogether. I viewed it as a good place to talk openly about kinks and fetishes, only to find very quickly that the site is fraught with fake profiles, and people who merely want to banter and bullshit about the subject matter, but don't want to engage in any serious exchange. Also -- being a Switch -- I disliked the way that some people tried to dominate the various group chats with their crap about how they thought it should all be about "domination" versus "submission" and all about the so-called "power exchange", versus the sensual/sexual aspect. As if anyone who didn't share their world-view had no business being there. Sorry, but I refuse to pay good money on a membership just to put up with that nonsense.


**Relationships** are what define the B&D, the D/s, M/s, and S&M.
There is a lot of misinformation floating about in 'vanilla society' as well as the world of kink, given the influx of curious kinksters following the 'Grey' books and movies.



I fully agree on that point. Personally, I never read the books you referenced; I simply know what I happen to enjoy. As a Switch, it is -- for me -- about 100% reciprocation of stimuli, a desire for my partner(s) and me to fully share the top/bottom experience, and a desire/need to feel every type of plateau/orgasm I'm able to give my partner and to experience them as much as possible the same way she experiences them.

We all have the same nerves in the same places, so as a straight male it's always made sense that I should still be able to cum anally or from nipple stimulation. I've experienced and enjoyed both, and I think it was a matter of accepting the fact of the same innervations and allowing myself to cum from these stimuli. Unfortunately (for them) a lot of other straight guys carry a psychological opposition to this, thinking (mistakenly) that's it's "gay" or "femme". I couldn't disagree more, and I think a lot of guys are really missing out.


...why I am on certain adult-themed websites.

Exactly! My view is that if you can't discuss these matters here, then where ???



Last fall, the importance of actually getting to know a person really came home to the kink community on an international level when someone who titled himself as _The_Wolf_ was arrested after being reported to the authorities in Australia.

I read of a similar individual in Oregon a couple of years ago. I forget the name, however several profiles out of that area were warning about a similar individual. Unfortunately, this is an all-too-common occurrence.


... virtual royal palace around that pedestal to the point of not only enabling his crimes (making them accessories to those crimes in certain instances) but also covering up and minimizing his crimes in public online forums. Some of his victims were publicly shamed in these same online forums. **This is another example of why there are countless posts about consent in kink forums.** Some of these victims thought that the others (usually women) who were present during certain encounters with this predator would bring added safety. Wrong!! ** No one is safe in a cult mentality situation. **

Not just there, but such predatory individuals will often bring these attitudes and behaviours into all other aspects of their lives. E.g.: their business practices, "office politics", legal bullying and the like.


coranimuscorcill replies on 7/26/2017 12:05 pm:
How did my post come across with 'Passion' as the website when it's a*f*f* ??

coranimuscorcill 54F  
802 posts
7/21/2017 6:25 pm

    Quoting bmoc271:
    Enjoyed reading this.

    I've been interested in the lifestyle (as more of a sub) for some time now. So it's great to finally "meet" you. hehehe.

    My favorite about this post is the last line. I cannot see myself holding character in a role play situation. But I can see myself naturally in that role as a sub to a domme woman - turned on just at the thought of it actually.
HI bmoc.
Thank you for taking the time to read the post and for sharing your quality response. When it comes down to the crucial times in life, "play pals" most likey aren't going to be there. Role play is very different than a relationship for sure.

You're invited to CorPlay anytime.
Kinky-ish coffee or before bed time fun in favorite chat rooms.
Life is too short not to laugh!
Peace, light, love


bmoc271 48M
83 posts
7/21/2017 3:26 pm

Enjoyed reading this.

I've been interested in the lifestyle (as more of a sub) for some time now. So it's great to finally "meet" you. hehehe.

My favorite about this post is the last line. I cannot see myself holding character in a role play situation. But I can see myself naturally in that role as a sub to a domme woman - turned on just at the thought of it actually.


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