St Patrick's, anyday, at a Kerry village  

greekphilosopher 57M
1504 posts
3/16/2017 5:27 pm

Last Read:
3/15/2019 11:21 am

St Patrick's, anyday, at a Kerry village

Loneliness on one side, the moon light on the other, with her blue eyes and long blond hair, she nearly had me. Just some words from a song. They tell a story for me, and it's St Patrick's.

Sooo, on one of my visits to Ireland a few years back, in a little village in Kerry, I was having a few beers and sharing tales with some mates in one of the three popular pubs. The fourth is by the local beach, about a mile from the village. Then some of their other friends turned up, and later on, even more friends. ( Very Irish. You go out for a quiet drink on your own. Within 2 hours, there are about 23 of you now, taking almost half the pub garden over. You have been introduced to all, but can only remember a couple of names. Everyone else becomes a 'mate' or just Pat! For the gals, you just ask them. Every time! You are in for a long night. With the nicest meaning of 'long night'

We became a gang of about twenty guys and gals. We moved to another pub down the road, the new one, and part of the 'footprint' on my profile, of course. Drinks and stories, laughs and songs were free flowing for a while. It is always St Patrick's in Ireland, with the right people at the right place. There were subtle signs that one of the gals had her eyes on me. Helen was a quiet girl, but she would look at me, every time I spoke, or glanced at her. As a typical man, ( is it typical or is it only me? ) I failed to read the signs at the time. If it is anything less than been hit over the head with a frying pan, I don't do subtle. Not until years later, anyway.

She leaned over and whispered something to a mate of mine who was sitting next to her on the other side of our large table, they had a little giggle, he said to her, don't worry, I'll sort it. He then looked at me, and said in his loud voice : Hey 'toiler', Helen here likes to have a look on the new pub, will you show her around? ( see? other men can not do subtle either! ) As I stood up she offered me her hand. I held her and started the 'tour' Here I am, holding this Irish cutie's hand, walking around, telling her all about this place, how it all became, she looks at me, smiles often, and do I do subtle yet? Nope! At some point I mention inserting a curvy pint of Guinness made out of a black and a white tile, in the boys toilets, right in the wall, cutting it in, inserting it in one of the other, normal tiles. FOOOOOTPRIIIIINT!!! In the ladies, I did a glass of red wine made out of mirror for the glass shape, and a burgundy tile, again, carefully and oh so proudly thought of, created, and inserted in a tile in the wall, by Mr footprint, over here! Fine smooth edges, symmetry, the works, and loads of love. ( After more than ten years, this pub is still rare. Footprint on one hand, but most important, a natural slate counter top all around the bar, that still refuses to show ring marks from the glasses! Oh yeah, I done that, with these hands of mine ha ha! )

Let's see, she said. After having a look at the pint of Guinness tiled on the wall, I took her to the ladies. We made sure there was no one else in the room, so I led her in, still holding her dainty hand.
As the door shut behind us, she touched the glass of wine on the wall and said 'mmm, very nice, wonder what else you could show me, that's nice. I felt the frying pan on the back of my head! The penny dropped. Finally! I held her close as we kissed. She moaned softly. Like an angel! She was my Irish 'angel', for a few minutes. Then the effing fire alarm went, momentum was hit by a rocket. We all had to get out, there was no drama or panic scenes outside, everyone had managed to get out with their drink on hand, basically taking the pub to the street, all standing around chatting in absolute harmony, waiting for the all clear to go back in. Me and Helen had many things in common, as well as liking each other. We tried to appear normal but we both wanted more than a kiss. And we both knew it. It was hard, not to show it. Yeah, that was hard as well! There was no fire in the pub, just a false alarm, and Helen's fire was gone about an hour later, as well as Helen! She had to travel back to her seaside village early in the morning, in a few hours. I had to return to London a few days later. I often imagine her, on her , riding to the beach and back in the early mornings. What an angel she was. One of those times, where peoples 'journeys' are discovered to be parallel, but in opposite directions!

Loneliness on one side, the moon light on the other, with her blue eyes and long blond hair, she nearly had me. Just some words from a song?
Name has been changed to protect the innocent! But hello Jaaahny S.! You not innocent anyway!

Happy St Patric's day to all and thanx for reading.

And some, or more than some oirish jokes.

Seamus and Patrick fancied a pint or two, but not having a lot of money between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said, "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Shamus said, "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." They went into a pub where Murphy immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jameson Whisky. Shamus said, "Now, you've lost it! Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!" Murphy replied, with a smile, "Don't worry, I have a plan.
Cheers!" They downed their drinks, and Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper, you
get down on your knees, and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out! They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free!
At the tenth pub, Shamus said, "Murphy, I don't think I can do any more o' this. I'm drunk, and me knees are killin' me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub!"

Murphy says to Paddy, "What ya talkin into an envelope for?"
"I'm sending a voicemail."

Paddy says, "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador .
"Blow that," says Mick, "have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"

19 Paddies go to the cinema, the ticket lady asks "Why so many of you?" Mick replies, "The film said 18 or over."

Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have
announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8....

Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one, but after looking
through her knickers drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maids outfit, and a police woman’s uniform, he finally decided if she can't hold down a job, she's not for him.

Paddy is doing some roofing work for Murphy. He nears the top of the
ladder and starts shaking and going dizzy. He calls down to Murphy and says "I tink I will 'ave to go home, I've come all over giddy and feel sick."
Murphy asks "Ave yer got vertigo?" Paddy replies "No I only live round the corner."

After 100 years lying on the sea bed, Irish divers were amazed to
find that the Titanic’s swimming. pool was still full.

Paddy spies a letter lying on his doormat.
He sees it says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".
Paddy spends the next 2 hours trying to
figure out how to pick it up.

Paddy shouts frantically into the 'phone,
"My wife is pregnant and her
Contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first ?" asks the Doctor.
"No," shouts Paddy, "this is her husband!"

An old Irish farmer's goes
missing and he's inconsolable.
His wife says, "Why don't you put
an advert in the paper?"
He does, but two weeks later the is still missing.
"What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.
"Here boy," he replies.

Paddy's in jail. The guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"What on earth you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," Paddy replies.
"It should be around your neck," says the Guard.
"I know," says Paddy
"but I couldn't breathe".

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman."
"Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?"
"When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees.
"Really," said Charles, "Now that's a switch! What did she say?"
She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."

Two Irishmen looking through a mail order catalogue.
Paddy says "Look at these gorgeous women! The prices are reasonable too."
Mick agrees "I'm ordering one right now"
3 weeks later Paddy says to Mick "Has your woman turned up yet?"
"No" said Mick "but it shouldn't be long now though. Her clothes arrived yesterday!!

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the
obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend
Finney. "Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"

Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery.
Mick say "Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!"
Paddy says "What's his name?"
Mick replies "Miles, from London !"

greekphilosopher 57M
4096 posts
3/16/2017 5:30 pm

I thought at the time, it's a long way to the tent in Greece, via Ireland! But now, after many years, sometimes, I can not avoid wondering, what if? Have you ever experienced the parallel journey in opposite directions with your 'angel'?
And for any who ever wondered what my 'footprint', on my profile is, now you know. So you can sleep easy!
What do you see most when visiting ancient places? Any mosaic floors? Ah, floors, they last a long time, don't they? For most, the natural process of them been covered up, as time, a long time goes by, and hence protected for thousands of years, till others find them. A bit of history at that time. A version of a time capsule for some, and may be something more for others. And my DNA all over it! That's my 'footprint' on this planet. I do not only tile floors, or mosaics that will be found in thousands of years. I wish! I have also worked in various shit holes around this town
Big headed? But of course. Would you not be after thirty years on the same job? Never mind finding a hat that fits, finding an umbrella is hard
Do you somehow leave a footprint on planet earth? Something that would stay around long after you are gone? Tell me please. After the 'angels' in opposite directions.

tickles4us 58M
7177 posts
3/16/2017 7:46 pm

Good memories and jokes.

Vive La Difference

goodatpoetry2 70M
16574 posts
3/17/2017 3:02 am

That story was so nice. . Even better, for the lack of sexual detail. . Otherwise it would have been just another sexual escapade as so many are here.
I do realize that you might have wished differently...

Sorry, just can't think of any "angel" stories. .

Great jokes!

greekphilosopher 57M
4096 posts
3/17/2017 5:22 am

Hi tickles4us. Thanx. Happy you like them, and happy to share.

greekphilosopher 57M
4096 posts
3/17/2017 5:28 am

    Quoting goodatpoetry2:
    That story was so nice. . Even better, for the lack of sexual detail. . Otherwise it would have been just another sexual escapade as so many are here.
    I do realize that you might have wished differently...

    Sorry, just can't think of any "angel" stories. .

    Great jokes!
Hey goodatpoetry2. There may be lack of sexual detail, but the subtle hint?... and Helen's fire was gone about an hour later...
I do not state the obvious. And readers can put their own ending to the story.
Glad you like the story and the jokes. Thanx.

wickedeasy 70F  
32437 posts
3/17/2017 12:34 pm

what a lovely story. love's missed chances.

You cannot conceive the many without the one.

greekphilosopher 57M
4096 posts
3/19/2017 12:40 pm

    Quoting wickedeasy:
    what a lovely story. love's missed chances.
Hey wickedeasy, thanx! Loves missed chances, the what if's, and Irish angels, like the film Sliding Doors, but everyday!

Seen I had 'replied', so deleted and 'quoted' instead, for the second time tonite. Does this place run on a car battery on weekends?

author51 57F  
92491 posts
3/22/2017 1:17 am

What a great story and too bad you did not get more then a kiss..

One can never have enough JOY in their life...

greekphilosopher 57M
4096 posts
3/22/2017 1:28 am

    Quoting author51:
    What a great story and too bad you did not get more then a kiss..
Hi author51, have not seen you in here for ages, are you lost or something? Thanx for the visit and comment. I did get a bit more than a kiss, but not as much as I would of liked...

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