Diary of a Side Chick  

jljewels 47F
23 posts
5/18/2017 4:10 am
Diary of a Side Chick

I’m on here looking for a friend with benefits but I’ve been on dating sites for over a year now and no one really understands the true meaning of that phrase as I have vented in other blogs. But wanting to live life and have fun while refusing to be some old lady whose vagina grows shut, I keep chugging along losing hope I’ll ever find what I really want. That just means I am forced to settle for just enjoying the moment. I’m not looking for a paved road to the future but a trip to the movies or a concert every now and then should be attainable.

I spend way too much time thinking, my mind never stops. I have come to learn it is your own mind that drives you crazy. But I am my own psychiatrist/psychologist so I manage pretty well. I make crazy work for me by keeping it fun rather than psychotic.

So this morning I look at a profile and it immediately triggered my analyzing mind. The dude’s tagline was: Unhappily married 35 yr old man. How sad is that? I didn’t take pity though, instead it pissed me off. I’m tired of the married/attached bullshit. If you are on here because you and your wife have an open relationship then cool otherwise you are just a dick to both yourself and her.

Don’t think that I don’t know because I have been there before. I have cheated in relationships because of being unhappy. Although it was a secret at first, it didn’t take long to realize that living a miserable life only to look forward to a few stolen moments of happiness every now and then wasn’t enough for me. So I ended relationships and walked away in pursuit of the things that made me happy.

Some might say there is a thrill to cheating, sneaking around, an excitement you can’t get anywhere else. There is an excitement but there is also the disappointment when you can’t get away. So my solution to that is make and keep excitement in your relationship so you don’t have to look for it somewhere else. It’s not that hard to do.

Some guys have the façade of the happy perfect family so they mask their unhappiness for the benefit of everyone else around them. Is it really noble to sacrifice your own happiness to have the people you love or once loved believe in something that is not true?

Plus there is also someone else involved – the side chick. Nothing is ever fair to the side chick yet she endures it. Even if the side chick knows that she is only a side chick, it still affects her in ways the guy never even sees because he is too busy juggling his own despair.

You hook up with someone because there is an attraction and you are both horny. You have great sex, something you probably aren’t getting at home (by the way – neither is your wife). You go home and crawl into bed next to your wife and as time passes, you are laying there wishing you were banging your side chick, sneaking the “I want you” texts to her as your wife makes your dinner.

So the side chicks wants you too, she is horny again. But you can’t come up with a good enough excuse to get out so time passes. So now you disappointed the side chick as she has to find another way to deal with wanting sex. She might bang someone else and you might bang your wife but the sex you wanted together took a back seat. More time passes. The guy finds the time to get away and messages the side chick. They get together and fuck again. My point is – it is always at the guy’s convenience. When the guy is horny enough he finds a way to make it happen but when the side chick is horny, she is shit out of luck.

It’s even more pathetic when the side chick is the best sex you ever had and willing to give it to you at any time and you are too busy living a lie just so you don’t look like you are the bad guy. Well guess what….you are the bad guy!

The very first time I cheated on someone was after years of being cheated on. As I drove home, I did not have one feeling of guilt so I knew that my relationship was over, that I did not love him anymore. I went home, packed up and left.

It’s a new era though and a faithful commitment is a rarity. I have become a firm believer in an open mind and total honesty in a relationship. There is a difference between sex and love. Now when two people love each other, they are still bombarded with temptation and lust. We are all human. I can love someone with all my heart and see a hot guy walk past and still want to fuck him. No different for men but women don’t allow the men to even look because the relationship lacks security. I’m the type that will point out the hot chick to my man so he doesn’t miss her walk by.

If more women were open, men wouldn’t be cheating behind their backs. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you are terminated from the rest of the world, especially in today’s society where sex is booming. Being loyal and committed doesn’t mean you can’t have fun, it is up to the two people in that relationship to establish boundaries. But I guess you can’t force that on someone with a closed mind.
That security has to be there so trust and honesty are vital in building that. That is the only way the boundaries will expand. But what the fuck do I know, I’m single and can’t find a guy for anything more than a hook-up. I can’t even get a real date out of the deal lol.

I’m the best sex you ever had but not worthy of a night out, dinner, a movie, skydiving, going to the beach, or any type of a fun time. Guess that is your loss because if you think the sex is good, it’s even better when you treat me like a woman.

I’m just irritated because I don’t get what everyone else gets yet I give so much more. I’m not even in dire need of the relationship status, just a true fwb. Guess it is what I deserve if I play with married or attached but even the single guys are the same way just with no legit excuse.

I fucked a guy who had a girlfriend and he felt guilty after so he bought her flowers. She posted it on FB as if he was so wonderful LOL. Saddest part of that for me is that I don’t get flowers. The saddest part of being single for the past year is that I learned to think like a man. Until I am proven wrong, men are only good for one thing – their dick! So while you think you are using me, maybe it is the other way around.

Appreciate your side chick or your fwb once in a while because life would be boring without her!

Thanks for letting me vent!

Yukongold65 55M
21 posts
5/18/2017 6:37 pm

I can not speak for all men, only myself. You hit the nail on the head , luckily for me the time I cheated, the side chick and I talked about the same thing you just wrote. We both knew it wasnt right for her, nor for my wife. Today we, and that is the side chick and my ex are all good friends. The benefits thing doesnt happen all the time but there is more to life, like movies, flowers for no reasons, concerts, etc... I credit my situation to all involved for speaking honestly and level headed. Oh the guild sometimes invades my thoughts, but knowing it is out in the open with all that matter is calming. I just wish people would have more dignity and respect for each other even when doing things that may be deemed wrong .

jljewels 47F
7 posts
5/19/2017 3:51 am

With open communication and honesty, if two people really love each other then they should be able to get through anything so I'm glad it worked out for all of you.

It's a crazy world these days so people need to embrace it rather than fall victim to it. Thanks for reading and sharing!

MissCinders 54F
1398 posts
5/19/2017 8:32 am

I will never be the side dish. Always the main course!!! Very well written and thank you for sharing.

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