AGITATORS, HATERS, & TROLLS... OH MY!  

keithcancook 62M
6095 posts
2/20/2017 8:41 am
AGITATORS, HATERS, & TROLLS... OH MY!


Has there ever been a time when there was relative peace and harmony here in what I call BlogLand?

The only period that was relatively free of viciousness was perhaps the first 6 months of the blogs being created. The blogs began in late January, 2005. I opened The Venting Blog in March of that year, and I have been in and out of BlogLand ever since.

Over the years, I have seen many cool blogging friends leave due to harassment of this sort or that sort. I miss them, (really, reaLLY, REALLY miss them), but I keep blogging, meeting new friends all the time. This experience seems to be a constant. Making new blogging friends almost immediately upon returning from an absence. This I deem to be a positive in terms of BlogLand's overall health.

On average, there is a major blog war every 9 months or so. By major I refer to issues with those at the top of the "popular list". These affairs can be extraordinarily bitter, pitting blog buddies (who are originally outside of the battle), against each other due to their loyalty to the opposing combatants. A tight spot for many in this weird and wild world of social media. We are urged to choose sides. If ya say nothing and "sit on a fence", well you get condemned for that as well.

This is the time when the the greatest number of bloggers will leave or reinvent themselves under new profiles.

All of us who put their self out there on a social platform will have their haters. All of us. The haters who have entered The Venting Blog are still there. I do not usually delete their comments. Many times I have managed to eventually turn them into someone I can blog with. Those who remain bent on fucking with me eventually tire of the game. I outlast them. All of them. Mostly by way of ignoring them. I reckon they tire, and go bother other folks. (Trolls being trolls, as they say).

In any event, I have never banned a single voice from The Venting Blog. Not one. Even the particularly vicious ones whose comments I was forced to delete due to their attacks on others. Those bloggers are still welcome to come back here and try again. Heck, we all have regretted some things we have posted online, right?

In the end, the most important quality to enjoyable long term blogging is to have a thick skin.

Oh well, such is the state of blogging on a sex site in the 21st Century.

Overall, these blogs have been an overwhelmingly positive experience for me in the 12 years I've been goofing around with you guys. Thank you, for the once and future memories, and as always,

Blog on!

Authors note: Many thanks to today's muse, misskissin, and her post [post 3954473] , which inspired this essay.

BiggLala 47F  
26748 posts
2/20/2017 10:39 am

Obviously, I'm a wee newbie to blogging here compared to your tenure. I can say, though, that the war I witnessed last summer was one for the ages that left several casualties in it's wake. I dare say, the mood in blogland has not been the same since...and there's still an air of tension that I think is simmering under the surface to create the next battle. As well, that happens I suppose. 😕

Blog on!

Need a way to message ALL members?...click here for helpful instructions in setting up a private messaging blog post.


redrockrascal 61M
20326 posts
2/20/2017 11:13 am

Mostly by way of ignoring them.
This is the "secret" that many people are told but few adhere to. The haters need the attention, or another "victim", to survive. Without that they become nothing.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


BiggLala 47F  
26748 posts
2/20/2017 11:30 am

    Quoting redrockrascal:
    Mostly by way of ignoring them.
    This is the "secret" that many people are told but few adhere to. The haters need the attention, or another "victim", to survive. Without that they become nothing.
Ignore it? The hell you say! We can't ignore it. No...we must right all the wrongs and evils in the world...I mean in these blogs. We'll do it one blog at a time if we have to and we will triumph!

To the bastille with you!!!

Need a way to message ALL members?...click here for helpful instructions in setting up a private messaging blog post.


VenusRedux2 44F
518 posts
2/20/2017 11:31 am

Always nice to hear from those who have been there and back again and raising a glass with them. I too left and reinvented myself, though I left before things got bad and only returned recently. I only heard about its aftermath later and came back to a blog-sphere almost totally devoid of content.

The Top Bloggers are the 3rd Rail of blog-land. Things get insane the higher up the list you go. Yet they perceive that as "power," so it is only a matter of time before they have to do what it takes to maintain or preserve that precious stature.

I hate to say it, but I am highly critical of the means by which most of the Top Bloggers got their status (and I've been around too long to care what anyone thinks of me). Only a handful have gotten themselves situated there by virtue of intellect and actually sharing something worthwhile. Most get there through pimping out their bodies for FAP-ers.

One of the downsides of developing the thick skin necessary to survive here is that you don't really get all that close to anyone. We come here to cultivate friendships, but then have to keep them at a safe arms distance. It is the intrinsic hypocrisy of the site whether we realize it or not.

Though, for whatever it's worth, it isn't unique to this site or limited to just adult oriented sites. I've seen this phenomenon in 'Disney' sites as well. The minute people start becoming prominent, Mean Girls behavior isn't far behind.


redrockrascal 61M
20326 posts
2/20/2017 12:45 pm

    Quoting BiggLala:
    Ignore it? The hell you say! We can't ignore it. No...we must right all the wrongs and evils in the world...I mean in these blogs. We'll do it one blog at a time if we have to and we will triumph!

    To the bastille with you!!!
I'll ignore that comment but, (there's always a butt aint't there) . . .

the Bastille? Geez, not the friggin Bastille agaaaaain. You know I hate French cooking. How about the brig at Leavenworth? I hear they have great BBQ.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


Tmptrzz 56F  
64031 posts
2/20/2017 12:55 pm

Great blog here..I commened you I think you pretty much nailed it. It's sad when this stuff happens here as it's suppose to be a fun place to share our lives with each other. And your so right about being here on the site and having "THICK SKIN" not to me mention a "GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR"!!!

Just your average every day run of the mill nana here!!!


nosexnu 59M
101 posts
2/20/2017 1:00 pm

Well written and a few quality replies. LOL it's a little disingenuous when the same members post daily that they give blow jobs or copy pics from the net to get attention


keithcancook 62M
18142 posts
2/20/2017 1:26 pm

    Quoting BiggLala:
    Obviously, I'm a wee newbie to blogging here compared to your tenure. I can say, though, that the war I witnessed last summer was one for the ages that left several casualties in it's wake. I dare say, the mood in blogland has not been the same since...and there's still an air of tension that I think is simmering under the surface to create the next battle. As well, that happens I suppose. 😕

    Blog on!
Yeah, it must have been. Shortly after opening the main blogging page I noticed that the former top blogger was gone. Some others seem to be missing as well. Where did snooker go?

Yep, when the top is turned out the aftermath lingers for many moons. Bloggers are wary. Oh well, all i can do is...

blog on!


BiggLala 47F  
26748 posts
2/20/2017 2:04 pm

    Quoting keithcancook:
    Yeah, it must have been. Shortly after opening the main blogging page I noticed that the former top blogger was gone. Some others seem to be missing as well. Where did snooker go?

    Yep, when the top is turned out the aftermath lingers for many moons. Bloggers are wary. Oh well, all i can do is...

    blog on!
Snooker was...well...one of the casualties. 😐

And, yes, all we can do is...blog through it and...blog on. I dare say that my inspiration, lost for a few months due to the loss of a friend from here, just might return due to YOUR return. You keep blogland honest and I enjoy the fun you bring to the site. So glad you're back, Keith. At least for a while.

Need a way to message ALL members?...click here for helpful instructions in setting up a private messaging blog post.


BiggLala 47F  
26748 posts
2/20/2017 2:06 pm

    Quoting redrockrascal:
    I'll ignore that comment but, (there's always a butt aint't there) . . .

    the Bastille? Geez, not the friggin Bastille agaaaaain. You know I hate French cooking. How about the brig at Leavenworth? I hear they have great BBQ.
Leavenworth it is then. Yeah...I think I can make a file look like a rib...with enough BBQ sauce that is!

Need a way to message ALL members?...click here for helpful instructions in setting up a private messaging blog post.


marysia4u 63F
15317 posts
2/20/2017 3:32 pm

Guess I've been lucky (so far) with being on the other side of the world. Not heard of any bloggers on this side having any problems, but then again, sometimes I read there is a war going on and have no idea what's going on. Would rather leave it that way. I'm just here for fun and making new friends.

I do have a dear friend on here that has had problems over the years.

Very glad to see you back.


redrockrascal 61M
20326 posts
2/20/2017 3:57 pm

    Quoting BiggLala:
    Leavenworth it is then. Yeah...I think I can make a file look like a rib...with enough BBQ sauce that is!
Cool, but none of the Texas sauce - I want the sweet savory KC kind.
Oh and I prefer the file to be a rat bastard.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


MyNameIsKay 58F  
11735 posts
2/20/2017 4:21 pm

I know that I wrote on that post of MissK's to just block them. But the truth is that I've never blocked anyone for making mean comments on my blog. All of the blocked profiles that I referenced are from those non-bloggers that have sent me grossly inappropriate introductory e-mails or nasty replies when I am not interested in them. I didn't realize that is sounded like that until I read your post.

I think it's worth the effort to try and work it out with the blogging community, and I applaud you for doing that. I've only had one person be nasty to me for something I posted. And someone that I didn't even know watched my blog took him to task as her first ever comment on my blog. I was floored.

Swim...Bike...Done


keithcancook 62M
18142 posts
2/20/2017 6:37 pm

    Quoting redrockrascal:
    Mostly by way of ignoring them.
    This is the "secret" that many people are told but few adhere to. The haters need the attention, or another "victim", to survive. Without that they become nothing.
I have invariably given this advice in my blog, and others, for eleven years. I learned the hard way that first year. Ouch. However, it is experience which teaches the best, right?

Blog on!


keithcancook 62M
18142 posts
2/20/2017 7:49 pm

    Quoting VenusRedux2:
    Always nice to hear from those who have been there and back again and raising a glass with them. I too left and reinvented myself, though I left before things got bad and only returned recently. I only heard about its aftermath later and came back to a blog-sphere almost totally devoid of content.

    The Top Bloggers are the 3rd Rail of blog-land. Things get insane the higher up the list you go. Yet they perceive that as "power," so it is only a matter of time before they have to do what it takes to maintain or preserve that precious stature.

    I hate to say it, but I am highly critical of the means by which most of the Top Bloggers got their status (and I've been around too long to care what anyone thinks of me). Only a handful have gotten themselves situated there by virtue of intellect and actually sharing something worthwhile. Most get there through pimping out their bodies for FAP-ers.

    One of the downsides of developing the thick skin necessary to survive here is that you don't really get all that close to anyone. We come here to cultivate friendships, but then have to keep them at a safe arms distance. It is the intrinsic hypocrisy of the site whether we realize it or not.

    Though, for whatever it's worth, it isn't unique to this site or limited to just adult oriented sites. I've seen this phenomenon in 'Disney' sites as well. The minute people start becoming prominent, Mean Girls behavior isn't far behind.
We're very glad to have you here, Venus. BlogLand always welcomes back its own.

What you say about the top list is spot on. All my leaves of absence from here coincide with my inevitable rise up the list. As a blogger, I of course want folks to hear what I have to say. And the higher I get on the main page the greater the number of folks will hear my message.

Even so, I seem to have less fun after crossing a certain threshold. When that happens I just take a break. My last one was the longest ever. Over a year. That was too long. I missed you guys.

What you say about thick skin has caused me to do some soul searching, and I'm sorry to admit that there is some truth there. In my first 5 yrs. I had the most fun, and that level hasn't even come close to being matched in the years since. During that time I was quite active in chatting offsite or in private site rooms with bloggers I was very close to.

When the last one of that original group left, I mostly stuck to communication through blogging. No more "after hours" stuff that kept us all so close and me up all night. I defaulted to using the site mail service for the occasional times when folks would contact me.

Then, last year, the site removed that tool from my box. As a standard I can't read the mail that bloggers send me. Unless they have made me their fan. Those bloggers are the only ones whose mail I can read.

Now, I could of course, upgrade and be done with it. However, that is a matter that I long ago decided on, and I am not changing my status just to receive mail. You see, I do not use this site to find dates. I use it to write in. And I ain't paying them to write for them. It's just a point that I'm too stubborn to budge on.

Anyway, the result seems to have left me somewhat alone on my island blog. Which makes it easy for me to counsel others to let bad stuff pass as dust in the wind and to grow some skin in the process.

Thank you, for your thought provoking comment. Forgive my long-windedness, but truly it is a consequence of you causing me to think critically of myself. Perhaps I will explore opening myself up a bit more...

As always,

Blog on!


goodatpoetry2 69M
16571 posts
2/21/2017 3:26 am

I'm pretty sure I remember you from way back when. . I've been here since 2005, too.
There's been some nice times here in the past, but maybe that's when I had little to do with most of the top bloggers.
That *list* does bring out the worst in SOME of them. . The need for attention or to just feel important can be overwhelming for some people.
And that's where the troubles begin.


keithcancook 62M
18142 posts
2/21/2017 6:00 am

    Quoting Tmptrzz:
    Great blog here..I commened you I think you pretty much nailed it. It's sad when this stuff happens here as it's suppose to be a fun place to share our lives with each other. And your so right about being here on the site and having "THICK SKIN" not to me mention a "GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR"!!!
Thank you, Tmptrzz.

Blog on!


keithcancook 62M
18142 posts
2/21/2017 6:13 am

    Quoting nosexnu:
    Well written and a few quality replies. LOL it's a little disingenuous when the same members post daily that they give blow jobs or copy pics from the net to get attention
Thank you, nos.

Of course, bloggers may post what they wish, I myself prefer to read original stuff over reprinted e-mails or naked pics.

Blog on!


keithcancook 62M
18142 posts
2/21/2017 6:18 am

    Quoting BiggLala:
    Snooker was...well...one of the casualties. 😐

    And, yes, all we can do is...blog through it and...blog on. I dare say that my inspiration, lost for a few months due to the loss of a friend from here, just might return due to YOUR return. You keep blogland honest and I enjoy the fun you bring to the site. So glad you're back, Keith. At least for a while.
I guessed as much. This wasn't his first rodeo. He was involved in a humongous brou-ha-ha in the early years and has reinvented himself several times. He will return again eventually, I imagine.

Thank you, for your very kind words.

Blog on!


keithcancook 62M
18142 posts
2/21/2017 6:30 am

    Quoting marysia4u:
    Guess I've been lucky (so far) with being on the other side of the world. Not heard of any bloggers on this side having any problems, but then again, sometimes I read there is a war going on and have no idea what's going on. Would rather leave it that way. I'm just here for fun and making new friends.

    I do have a dear friend on here that has had problems over the years.

    Very glad to see you back.


Hello, marysia.

I do not refer to any particular blog War, but all of them generally. As far as I can tell it's peaceful enough around here now.

Blog on!


keithcancook 62M
18142 posts
2/21/2017 7:01 am

    Quoting MyNameIsKay:
    I know that I wrote on that post of MissK's to just block them. But the truth is that I've never blocked anyone for making mean comments on my blog. All of the blocked profiles that I referenced are from those non-bloggers that have sent me grossly inappropriate introductory e-mails or nasty replies when I am not interested in them. I didn't realize that is sounded like that until I read your post.

    I think it's worth the effort to try and work it out with the blogging community, and I applaud you for doing that. I've only had one person be nasty to me for something I posted. And someone that I didn't even know watched my blog took him to task as her first ever comment on my blog. I was floored.
Hey, Kay. Isn't it cool when you find that folks have your back? Of course, having a blog buddy's back is what expands many of these conflicts. Jeesh!

As for the blocking function.. well that seems to be used as a retaliation type weapon quite often. Folks being blocked for their different opinions more than for rudeness, etc.

In the end, I respect each bloggers choice on who or what they allow into their blog. Hopefully, I will be one who is allowed in. If not, there are all sorts of new blogs to discover... ha!

Blog on!


GB_Cple 69M/57F  
3120 posts
2/21/2017 9:44 am

, Keep on Blogging , Still crazy after all these years


spunkycumfun 59M/64F  
36125 posts
2/21/2017 10:27 am

I always prefer living in the shadows of blogland; that's one advantage of being a couple as there are no top couple lists. These lists seem to breed conflict amongst a few.


author51 56F
79307 posts
2/21/2017 10:45 am

I have some battle scars myself but all are healed and I Blog On now without a care in the world.Never on anyone's side as I would never choose sides.All are welcome to comment except those blocked out of necessity as I am a few myself.It keeps my blog now drama free and back to being JOYful..Here is to peace through out all of Blogland...

One can never have enough JOY in their life...


keithcancook 62M
18142 posts
2/21/2017 4:25 pm

    Quoting  :

I suppose that what they fight about are, um, alternative facts. Top listers generally get a lot of scrutiny, and they are often accused of using fake pics, lying about themselves or others... all sorts of stuff. Sometimes these are shown to be true, sometimes not. And every time... the place gets thick with drama.

One of the early fights was about a blogger who faked his own death. Or that was the accusation at least. Oy.

Blog on!


keithcancook 62M
18142 posts
2/21/2017 4:32 pm

    Quoting goodatpoetry2:
    I'm pretty sure I remember you from way back when. . I've been here since 2005, too.
    There's been some nice times here in the past, but maybe that's when I had little to do with most of the top bloggers.
    That *list* does bring out the worst in SOME of them. . The need for attention or to just feel important can be overwhelming for some people.
    And that's where the troubles begin.
I recall you, as well. I had the most fun in those early years with bloggers such as expatbrit49, sexyfitwoman, papyrina, BLONDNEEDSSEX, and mzhunyhole. Ah, those were the days...

blog on!


keithcancook 62M
18142 posts
2/21/2017 4:34 pm

    Quoting GB_Cple:
    , Keep on Blogging , Still crazy after all these years
Yep, and me just an Old man looking at my life...

Blog on!


keithcancook 62M
18142 posts
2/21/2017 4:40 pm

    Quoting spunkycumfun:
    I always prefer living in the shadows of blogland; that's one advantage of being a couple as there are no top couple lists. These lists seem to breed conflict amongst a few.
Well, if there was a top list for couples you would top it, no doubt.

Say... do you suppose kooc & cook are a couple? I could go round as them, and not rise on the male list. Then I wouldn't feel like I have to leave so much.... hmmm...

Stay tuned, and

Blog on!


keithcancook 62M
18142 posts
2/21/2017 4:45 pm

    Quoting author51:
    I have some battle scars myself but all are healed and I Blog On now without a care in the world.Never on anyone's side as I would never choose sides.All are welcome to comment except those blocked out of necessity as I am a few myself.It keeps my blog now drama free and back to being JOYful..Here is to peace through out all of Blogland...
Yes, I recall how you got your scars. I remember you went to marry off your daughter, and as soon as you got back you ran into a shitstorm.

I would like to say that I was impressed with the way you persevered, and kept on writing.

Blog on!


missthee 53F  
3988 posts
2/21/2017 5:06 pm

Nice to read your posts again !


author51 56F
79307 posts
2/22/2017 10:42 am

    Quoting keithcancook:
    Yes, I recall how you got your scars. I remember you went to marry off your daughter, and as soon as you got back you ran into a shitstorm.

    I would like to say that I was impressed with the way you persevered, and kept on writing.

    Blog on!
Thanks sweet man.It is that tough skin you were talking about and not putting up with any shit or haters....lol.

I just lived through another one actually...but a happy, contented woman with a BRAIN is still here Pinky....and loving it..

Blogging is why I am here still as well as some friendships I have cultivated through the 2 years I have been here..

One can never have enough JOY in their life...


misskissin 55F  
80189 posts
2/22/2017 3:48 pm

Thank you Honey, you are a good man and I love having you as a new friend although I would swear we had a mad passionate affair back in 2011 when I joined. I have had to block some trolls, not that it helps.... they either brush their rudeness and/or fake photos under the rug never acknowledging their attacks on others or like you said, they change their profile or troll in a silhouette.... sick really. Although I would rather have the silhouettes than the alternative. I so appreciate you posting this. I'm hoping my Tuesday theme will help feed some of the trolls anyway....


smartasswoman 61F  
31483 posts
4/25/2018 4:14 pm

I’ve been around a long time too - started blogging in fall of 2006. I ascribe my successful avoidance of blog drama to:
1) I don’t try to get on the top blogs list; and
2) I read very few of the blogs that reside there.

Mostly because they already have plenty of readers and I don’t need to leave a comment on a post that already has 50 comments...responding to something deep like ‘do you like my pussy?’ Lol.

I think I’ve blocked maybe, 11 or 12 people? I don’t do it lightly, but I don’t put up with people trying to out me or getting into fights with my other readers.


Become a member to create a blog