How Slutty Is To Slutty?...Inquiring Minds Want To Know  

pleasureme_69 55F  
196 posts
3/5/2017 6:34 am
How Slutty Is To Slutty?...Inquiring Minds Want To Know

I’ve always wondered where the line is with sluttiness. To my conservative mother, anything above my knees was too short, so she was never very helpful. I spent my twenties staring into a mirror before a date trying on clothes looking for the perfect balance of sexy and slutty. I’d usually send a pic to a friend(s) for confirmation.

“Yes, it’s slutty, but not BAD slutty.”

By 30 I figured out where my line was. A dress could be tight, but not short. A shirt could be low cut as long as it had sleeves. I found my own version of “slutty, but not BAD slutty”. And I kind of loved that word, it made me feel strong.

Taking back “slut”
I’m not the only one. Feminists have been waging an assault to take back the words since the 80’s. I thought we were winning the war, I really did.

Until last Wednesday. I put on my tightest dress, my brightest lipstick and heels and walked through DT Cuse without fear. I got a few stares and fielded compliments from a mixed crowd. I felt amazing.

Crossing the line:
Ironically, it was later that night that the line was crossed. It was being caught off-guard that reminded me of my limited power as a feminist. After a long day in heels, I kicked off my shoes and wanted to celebrate a good day with a jack and coke. When I realized I didn’t have any more mixer I threw on my yoga pants and hoodie and headed back out to one of the upscale stores in my area for provisions.

Soon after leaving the store I heard a mumble from.... oh I would say 70ish yr old man . “SLUT!”......

Immediately after hearing this I looked around, saw noone around other then myself and pulled my hoodie over my head , stared at the ground and shuffled off. My whole body drooped into a posture that hides my curves and makes me invisible. I know it well, because like most women, I’ve been practicing it all my life.

Slut shame:
I thought that I knew the line, but I don’t. Clearly. Even now writing about it – I can feel myself fuming! My mind spins with all of the things I’d like to say to him, and I try to wrap my head around the impossible reasons a man would go out of his way to say that to a person in shlubby yoga pants. I wasted my entire night jotting down notes for this blog about the genesis of the word “SLUT” and how the line between SEXY and SLUTTY doesn’t exist!!!!

And it’s that feeling that is so crippling. Not the fact that he made me feel diminutive and desexualized, or even that he used a word that I loved against me.

Time and power lost:
It’s the fact that he turned my mind away from having a GREAT day at work, having written 4 new policies, and catching back up with friends I've not spoken with in quiet sometime. He stole like 3 hours of my life I will never get back. I can forgive a man for being ignorant and cruel, but not for wasting my time...smh!!!

*****Maybe it was the red lipstick on my lips*************

None The Less..Cheers!!!


Everything in the world is about sex, except sex, sex is about power. - Oscar Wilde

Tomorrow belongs to those who can hear it coming. ~David Bowie~

19justme62 56M
46 posts
3/5/2017 6:04 pm

It's not up to anyone but you to decide the difference between slutty and sexy. I think slutty has to do more with actions rather than how one dresses.

I wouldn't worry about one old man. Besides he was probably just pissed you didn't show him any attention.

How would you define slutty?

pleasureme_69 replies on 3/6/2017 5:05 am:
Good Question!!...I guess I would say someone who shows little or no self respect for herself..there are soooo many variations for this word

dickencider2006 65M
176 posts
3/10/2017 1:02 pm

I have to agree with and slutty is defined differently by each individual...and I read somewhere, there is no such thing as a slut..just a woman with a friendly vagina..

pleasureme_69 replies on 3/12/2017 5:33 am:
hmmm a friendly vagina ...never looked at it that way ..hahahaha!!

VioletDeliriums 50T  
3538 posts
4/6/2017 7:53 am

Lots of thoughts come to mind...

I suppose first, my own experiences...Ya, because I am a TV, a lot of guys just assume that I am a slut, that I will just have sex with anyone at all and that I am doing it all just to please them. So there's that...Then there's always the questions you ask: "What should I wear?" The question goes through my mind whenever I am going out. I am going to be in public, I don't want to stand out and call too much attention to myself, even if the intent is to look attractive. So how do I do that? It takes a lot of careful observation to look at other women to figure out what are the bounds of safe for that particular area, then find something cute or pretty within that range.

If being in public means being on a date with a guy, then I have to consider whether or not I am thinking sex might be on option,, which is certainly not on a first date, partly because I want to feel adored and safe, but also because if I do then to him (and maybe other men) I become a disposable slut. So now I have to think, if I am definitely not going to have sex with him, where is the limit of pretty enough without teasing too much. Because I want to be fair to him and myself: if he is too turned on and I don't please him, he might call me a slut simply out of spite.

Regarding feminism, sadly the word has become thought of as a monolithic thought pattern in which men are devalued, and like "Black Lives Matter," it loses the whole point: that we live in a patriarchal society and, as a result, we all have to play by certain rules regardless of our biological sex or the gender role we play. Those who know nothing about the diversity of thought within feminism use straw man arguments to thoughtlessly dismiss it, and we all suffer because of it.

The 70ish-year-old man? If you ask me, at least a couple of generations will have to die off before slut-shaming might have a chance to be eradicated. Even then, its elimination will depend upon a great number of factors. But we cannot give up on asserting that it is wrong, as hard as it must be sometimes. And just keep in mind that the people who do it probably have problems that make it easy to blame "sluts" for.

coranimuscorcill 53F  
802 posts
7/22/2017 10:55 am

Yep, we females have to question everything we wear, even ultra casual attire, while men can just put on anything, including bulge revealing jeans, a snug UnderArmour type shirt, or even leather chaps over their bulge revealing jeans and not be shamed in any manner. -Damned double standards.
My knee-jerk mental reaction was, "That asshole!!"
That 70-ish yr old man's insecurities consumed his teeny tiny mind and manifested from his uneducated mouth. May the asshat poison that he spewed remain over his uneducated head like a cloud until/unless that teeny tiny mind of his has a paradigm shift.
-Perfect pic with this post, pleasureme.

You're invited to CorPlay anytime.
Kinky-ish coffee or before bed time fun in favorite chat rooms.
Life is too short not to laugh!
Peace, light, love

skyfal1968 50M  
21 posts
3/14/2018 6:27 am

I hate the word when used to describe someone you've never met or talked too.

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