Let's play a little game.  

secret_lade 46
8883 posts
11/16/2020 3:41 pm
Let's play a little game.


We'll call it...

How long can YOU keep a straight face?!?

There are a few things in life that bring out my absolute childish worst...

One of them is farts.

I'm like a grossed out, giggling ... Especially when they're unexpected.

I was talking with a coworker about an upcoming event when, out of the blue, she lets one rip.

I was astounded.

Who does this kind of stuff??? And, how can I possibly continue on with this conversation and pretend nothing just happened????

I stood there for a moment, staring at her, nearly frozen in place...

I tried like hell to hold it in, but I just couldn't do it.

I couldn't stop laughing.

My coworkers face was a million shades of red and I couldn't contain myself long enough to apologize.

Oh good God I wanted to die...

As I'm sure so did she!

I finally managed to eek out an apology but it was too late. The damage was done.

She is now the farter who will always be hiding from me in shame.

We'll just chalk this one up to a Monday.

gr8tb8t 31/40
337 posts
11/22/2020 11:08 am

Liked, "I finally managed to eek out an apology but it was too late. The damage was done".


secret_lade 46
5787 posts
11/18/2020 3:44 pm

    Quoting  :

Oh my... LOL As long as it passes somewhere else... LOL


secret_lade 46
5787 posts
11/18/2020 3:43 pm

I think I've seen Shrek say that.... LOL


citizen4722 63  
69835 posts
11/18/2020 8:36 am

Better out than in as they say


secret_lade 46
5787 posts
11/17/2020 4:37 pm

    Quoting lindoboy100:


    Ah well, ye ken this would appeal tae me McLade!! I'd have farted in response then blamed that one on her too!!

    One of my ex business partners used to fart indiscriminately as you'd be sitting chatting with him, he'd pause momentarily then carry on as if nothing had happened.......usually I wouldn't let him off with him letting off though!
I know a vegan guy who does that... totally gross and smelly too. Ugh....


secret_lade 46
5787 posts
11/17/2020 4:36 pm

    Quoting EnigmaInitiative:
    Yeah, I'm a child when it comes to farting too. I can't help but laugh.
It's good to know I'm not alone!


secret_lade 46
5787 posts
11/17/2020 4:34 pm

    Quoting ezwheelz:
    My petulant 12-year-old inner child will think farts are funny until the day I die.

    I feel bad for your co-worker, but I love the fact that you couldn't contain yourself. I literally laughed out loud.
I feel bad for her too... she had to have been horrified. LOL


secret_lade 46
5787 posts
11/17/2020 4:33 pm

    Quoting pocogato12:
    Hold the Fart and Bear the Pain
    Release the Fart and bear the Shame
    Nothing more immature than a bunch of guys on turkey day watching the game and filling the den with green clouds
Oh my... That reminds me of back in the day when everyone would assemble at my ex mother in law's house on the holidays. The year we did Mexican food for Thanksgiving will go down in history! LOL


lindoboy100 58
22630 posts
11/17/2020 8:46 am



Ah well, ye ken this would appeal tae me McLade!! I'd have farted in response then blamed that one on her too!!

One of my ex business partners used to fart indiscriminately as you'd be sitting chatting with him, he'd pause momentarily then carry on as if nothing had happened.......usually I wouldn't let him off with him letting off though!

Pull ma finger.........


EnigmaInitiative 52
4246 posts
11/17/2020 6:45 am

Yeah, I'm a child when it comes to farting too. I can't help but laugh.

In a sense, sexuality is the built-in psychedelic experience that only a very few people manage to evade.

~Terence McKenna


ezwheelz 45  
162 posts
11/17/2020 5:55 am

My petulant 12-year-old inner child will think farts are funny until the day I die.

I feel bad for your co-worker, but I love the fact that you couldn't contain yourself. I literally laughed out loud.


pocogato12 68  
36230 posts
11/17/2020 5:08 am

Hold the Fart and Bear the Pain
Release the Fart and bear the Shame
Nothing more immature than a bunch of guys on turkey day watching the game and filling the den with green clouds

(Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group


secret_lade 46
5787 posts
11/17/2020 3:52 am

    Quoting easy_going2014:
    what do you really know about a person

    over the years people have told me they loved a person at first sight

    or they knew the first time they went out that they were destined lovers forever

    I say, you don't really know a person until that first fart

    now, you're laughing, or saying come on Easy, how can that be

    when I take a woman to dinner, and she eats a salad, I say bye, bye

    you don't know if she's eating a tub of lard when she gets home

    of course, there are other attributes I look for in women

    but, this one is pretty high on the totem pole

    so to speak

    be safe

    Airbourne - "Back in the Game"

    Let's play
    It's been a hard road but I'm almost home
    As the lights fade to black
    Hear the roar of the crowd
    Ten thousand loud
    It's good to be back
    Feel the sting the sweat
    Of the back of my neck
    It's been way too long
    Like a ricochet I hit the stage
    Lets get it on
    I'm back in the game
    Breaking hearts again
    You better watch out
    'Cause I'm back in the game
    I'm back in the game
    Kickin' ass again
    No stopping me now
    It's like I've never been away
    So you better watch out
    'Cause I'm back in the game
    Oh yeah
Oh my... Ha ha ha ha.... I have always been one of those people that do that kind of stuff in private.

True story - When I was pregnant with my middle son the ex-husband and I were in the process of building our house. He was working on the doors and trim this day and I was feeling a little lethargic, resting in a big chair that was sitting upstairs so I could help too. (Without being on my feet too much.) I wasn't feeling the greatest, so I stood up to walk around a little and a little toot escaped while I was stretching.

Jumping to his feet from where he'd been kneeling, he closed the distance between us and was instantly saying "Are you ok? You don't sound ok, maybe you should lay down. I've never heard you pas gas like that...."


secret_lade 46
5787 posts
11/17/2020 3:39 am

    Quoting Paulxx001:
    Stuff happens.
    It's all good.
    Some people trip on stuff like that. It's life, isn't it?
    Or should I just say... pull my finger? 🤔
I would have died a long, drawn out, horribly embarrassing death had it been me on the giving end..... LOL


secret_lade 46
5787 posts
11/17/2020 3:37 am

    Quoting tickles4us:
    One of those situations where you or she in this case thought she could just quietly let it slip out, but noooo the rush of the air, out paced the power of the pucker and created an audible vibration of the lips and cheeks that just couldn't be stopped in time to avoid the laughter of Secret Lade.

    Only she knows...was it a slow forewarned attack where you try to stiffle the fart by tightening up the gateway or a sudden irresistible surprise rise in pressure that blew the gates wide open?

    Yeah, sometimes it's hard to keep silent...
I'm guessing it was a sneak attack.... She had been the one to approach me with a question. Little did I know what I had in store for me. LOL


secret_lade 46
5787 posts
11/16/2020 11:13 pm

    Quoting  :

I'm more of a privacy is key kinda girl.... I'd like to give the illusion that I've never farted in my life, ever.


secret_lade 46
5787 posts
11/16/2020 11:10 pm

    Quoting Kcada79:
    It’s natural......everyone does it.....all you can do is be as polite as possible when one gets away from you....but you’ve got to own it and save yourself the embarrassment.
At the very least, say excuse me.... pretending it didn't happen was where it all fell apart. It felt like 7th grade math class when Matt Jones farted during the test. Lol


secret_lade 46
5787 posts
11/16/2020 11:06 pm

Very true!!


secret_lade 46
5787 posts
11/16/2020 11:05 pm

    Quoting mc_justmc:
    In my house, the sound of a fart is followed by the sound of, "It wasn't me!", usually claimed by the guilty party.
Um, yep, sounds a lot like my house too. Lol


tickles4us 59
7255 posts
11/16/2020 10:08 pm

One of those situations where you or she in this case thought she could just quietly let it slip out, but noooo the rush of the air, out paced the power of the pucker and created an audible vibration of the lips and cheeks that just couldn't be stopped in time to avoid the laughter of Secret Lade.

Only she knows...was it a slow forewarned attack where you try to stiffle the fart by tightening up the gateway or a sudden irresistible surprise rise in pressure that blew the gates wide open?

Yeah, sometimes it's hard to keep silent...

Vive La Difference


Paulxx001 63
17929 posts
11/16/2020 9:31 pm

Stuff happens.
It's all good.
Some people trip on stuff like that. It's life, isn't it?
Or should I just say... pull my finger? 🤔


easy_going2014 54
14366 posts
11/16/2020 8:48 pm

what do you really know about a person

over the years people have told me they loved a person at first sight

or they knew the first time they went out that they were destined lovers forever

I say, you don't really know a person until that first fart

now, you're laughing, or saying come on Easy, how can that be

when I take a woman to dinner, and she eats a salad, I say bye, bye

you don't know if she's eating a tub of lard when she gets home

of course, there are other attributes I look for in women

but, this one is pretty high on the totem pole

so to speak

be safe

Airbourne - "Back in the Game"

Let's play
It's been a hard road but I'm almost home
As the lights fade to black
Hear the roar of the crowd
Ten thousand loud
It's good to be back
Feel the sting the sweat
Of the back of my neck
It's been way too long
Like a ricochet I hit the stage
Lets get it on
I'm back in the game
Breaking hearts again
You better watch out
'Cause I'm back in the game
I'm back in the game
Kickin' ass again
No stopping me now
It's like I've never been away
So you better watch out
'Cause I'm back in the game
Oh yeah

To leave private messages, please use my confidential mailbox at my blog:

Good luck!!!


Kcada79 41
23 posts
11/16/2020 5:56 pm

It’s natural......everyone does it.....all you can do is be as polite as possible when one gets away from you....but you’ve got to own it and save yourself the embarrassment.


pagancountrygirl 63
5464 posts
11/16/2020 5:04 pm

More room out than in!

Pagan
Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!


secret_lade 46
5787 posts
11/16/2020 4:56 pm

    Quoting Granny872:
    I expect men to fart without a second thought, they don't care who they gross out, and for most, they see nothing wrong with it.

    I get it when a woman lets one rip, but for women, I think it's usually by accident. A lot of us would rather eat shit than foul the air on purpose when there are other people around.
I'm sure this wasn't on purpose.... which makes me feel all the more terrible. The new plan is to pretend it never happened.


secret_lade 46
5787 posts
11/16/2020 4:52 pm

    Quoting XHamburgDave:
    Secret Farts are funny, sometimes not at the time, but later one can look back and laugh

    Check out my blog "Dangers of Drunken Oral Sex", I can laugh about it now
My co-worker was definitely not seeing the humor.... Yikes! lol


mc_justmc 60  
6825 posts
11/16/2020 4:52 pm

In my house, the sound of a fart is followed by the sound of, "It wasn't me!", usually claimed by the guilty party.


secret_lade 46
5787 posts
11/16/2020 4:50 pm

I'm hoping to pretend it never happened and just go forward in denial. Lol.


Granny872 68  
3246 posts
11/16/2020 4:26 pm

I expect men to fart without a second thought, they don't care who they gross out, and for most, they see nothing wrong with it.

I get it when a woman lets one rip, but for women, I think it's usually by accident. A lot of us would rather eat shit than foul the air on purpose when there are other people around.

Yep, it's my blog, and the content is not up for a vote or for manipulation. If you don't like the content, just stop reading. Easy peasey.


XHamburgDave 77  
10462 posts
11/16/2020 4:07 pm

Secret Farts are funny, sometimes not at the time, but later one can look back and laugh

Check out my blog "Dangers of Drunken Oral Sex", I can laugh about it now


Please visit my Blog "Older but no Wiser"


redrockrascal 62
22469 posts
11/16/2020 4:05 pm

At least that is behind you now

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


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