The Emotional Manipulator  

secret_lade 46F
8885 posts
11/21/2020 6:15 am
The Emotional Manipulator


We all have that Sad Sack coworker has had endure every hard luck story imaginable...

Our Sad Sack transferred to our store about a month ago and works for Nose Hairs.

We had done a company luncheon a few weeks ago and she had complained to that we didn't have a vegan option.

While I sympathized with her, I did tell her that we had a budget to work within and we were using local restaurants that may or may not have vegan options available to us. It was her choice to participate with what food options we had available or choose not to.

I always make sure is a salad option for the employees as we have people with gluten intolerance, allergies, and other dietary restrictions.... So she did not have to go without.

It was after the fact that I was talking with Nose Hairs and he had filled in on her self proclaimed emotional journey....

Abusive husband, no , to feed and support....

I told him to beware, he didn't want to get wrapped up in her 'feel sorry for ' web.

He looked at like I was heartless and said he couldn't help but feel sorry for her, it sounded like she was struggling.

She had him hooked!

I've seen this girl before.... She'll cry because she needs hours but she'll call in all the time. You'll work miracles make her availability fit into the schedule you're writing but then she'll cry because real life has suddenly happened and she has to miss a day for a doctor's appointment. You'll feel bad for her because her rent is late and she's turned on the water works but she refused to work any extra hours because she can't work past sundown on Friday night due to her religion.

I just smiled, said I didn't feel sorry for people like that, and walked away knowing full well this story was going to come full circle.

And, it did.

Imagine my lack of surprise when Nose Hairs came to me, yesterday, complaining the Sad Sack wasn't going to be coming to work at all and he wasn't going to feel sorry for her anymore because she didn't have any .

"So, [Sad Sack] just texted . She over slept. Apparently she's decided to just not come in at all."

"It's like 2 o'clock. What time was she scheduled?"

"That's not the point. She overslept?? So, she's not coming in at all?? It doesn't get dark out until 5. She's always crying because she's broke, she could be working some hours."

I knew she was scheduled at 6am and probably didn't call in at all, just deciding to Nose Hairs cover her bases.

"Why does matter if 's dark?"

"Because of her stupid religion, remember? She can't work past dark on Friday's."

"You realize she's got you wrapped. You just allowed her get out of an improper call in and she left you short. She knows you're going let this stuff happen so she's now working her angles."

He just looked at me... But was like a light went on in his head.

He knew I was right.

"You said this was going happen, and, you were right...."

Here's the thing. really is no difference between Sad Sack and I other than what we've chosen do with our life.

Sad Sack relies on emotional manipulation and pity survive, always looking for someone 'take care of her'.

I know this type of person well as this was my mother.

I learned very early on that this was NOT the life I was going live. I knew that if I wanted things out of life, I needed make them happen. I needed be smart, I needed be kind, and I needed be able take care of myself because nobody else out probably would.

"

secret_lade 46F
5787 posts
11/22/2020 2:38 pm

You do.... You must have seen the bandaid post?


secret_lade 46F
5787 posts
11/22/2020 2:38 pm

    Quoting citizen4722:
    She's abusing the system as well as your trust.
Yes she is!


citizen4722 63M  
69835 posts
11/22/2020 2:12 pm

She's abusing the system as well as your trust.


joejoejoe509 58M
13 posts
11/22/2020 1:44 pm

luv ur boobs


secret_lade 46F
5787 posts
11/22/2020 12:40 am

I'm not sure what this means...


easy_going2014 54M
14366 posts
11/21/2020 7:25 pm

"..."

To leave private messages, please use my confidential mailbox at my blog:

Good luck!!!


secret_lade 46F
5787 posts
11/21/2020 3:18 pm

    Quoting mc_justmc:
    somebody's damaged but I don't think it's you.....
I am spending a fun filled Saturday night cleaning my apartment and hanging out with a cat..... Lol


secret_lade 46F
5787 posts
11/21/2020 3:13 pm

    Quoting mc_justmc:
    I've met her. Drugs, money, or attention, she works harder to have things given to her than it would take to get them herself.
Men tend to be drawn to those women, though.... They're never single, there's usually a guy or two fighting for her attention. For a bit, anyway, until they're used up or tired of being used.


mc_justmc 60M  
6825 posts
11/21/2020 2:40 pm

I've met her. Drugs, money, or attention, she works harder to have things given to her than it would take to get them herself.


mc_justmc 60M  
6825 posts
11/21/2020 2:38 pm

    Quoting secret_lade:
    I sometimes worry that I come across to others as damaged....
somebody's damaged but I don't think it's you.....


secret_lade 46F
5787 posts
11/21/2020 11:57 am

    Quoting topherific:


    again when talking about yourself, it is so sexy to me
I sometimes worry that I come across to others as damaged....


topherific 58M
4829 posts
11/21/2020 11:36 am



again when talking about yourself, it is so sexy to me


secret_lade 46F
5787 posts
11/21/2020 10:09 am

    Quoting XHamburgDave:
    Secret I worked for a guy like that, he was promoted in from another plant, to a position no one knew existed! His previous boss just wanted him gone.

    Within 3 months of him arriving in Hamburg, he got a local girl pregnant with twins, moved in with her. To cut a long story short, 4 years later he has 3 kids, and she is screwing around with her ex!! My colleagues and I used to have a system, put a red dot on the calendar every day he didn't show!!

    The amazing thing was that his immediate boss thought the sun shone out of his ass, but he wasn't in the same plant as us
You can pull anything off when you don't actually work with your boss. As long as the numbers are where they should be.... I wonder if the girl ended up going back to the ex?


secret_lade 46F
5787 posts
11/21/2020 10:00 am

    Quoting  :

You call them Eeyores, I call them fun sponges! I try whenever possible to keep my distance.


secret_lade 46F
5787 posts
11/21/2020 9:56 am

    Quoting author51:
    I had a friend like this I had to let go of who was constantly whining all the time, playing the sympathy card..My own sister can get like that so instead of molly coddling,I tell them either to Suck It Up or If they don't like their situation, change it up..I am one to let Emotional Manipulators know if they want a pity party, they came to the wrong person to party with..Good post.
I stopped hanging out with one of my childhood friends a few years ago for reasons like this. She was 'unable' to work and expected the state to pay for her.... Ended up homeless... Car broke down.... Her ex-husband got custody of the kids.... It was all her own doing.


secret_lade 46F
5787 posts
11/21/2020 9:46 am

    Quoting FitDaddy71:
    BTDT. There are those who seem ever caught in the "whoa is me." I do not point fingers. I have had my dark days as well. I still have them. However, like you, I don't see the need to long invest myself in people who are emotional black holes. As Jesus once said somewhere, "The poor you will always have with you." I have worked besides men who earned as much or more than I did and yet were always living on a shoe string. I was raised to take responsibility for you own life and never be dependent on the handout of others. Again, I don't point fingers. We are all fighting our battles as best as we can.
People like this don't usually hold a job very long, I'll be surprised if she's with us for a year. I've never understood how they can be so broke but manage to be able to afford to move from town to town and go from job to job. The sad part is, companies eagerly hire them back knowing they won't last after quitting once or twice just because they're a warm body and require no training.


secret_lade 46F
5787 posts
11/21/2020 9:40 am

    Quoting flannel_light:
    There are some people in this world who truly down on there luck but those are the ones you see busting there butt off to put food on the table and so on. Then you have people like this girl who wants everyone to do it for her and to me that is enabling them and they are capable of doing it for there self. I do not feel sorry for people like this. I am glad you wanted a better life for your self. You just have to say a prayer and just be nice to her.
It's funny you say that, I told Nose Hairs he was enabling her by allowing this behavior to continue. I don't really cross paths with her, she I don't get much interaction thankfully.


secret_lade 46F
5787 posts
11/21/2020 9:35 am

    Quoting lindoboy100:
    I've nae time for people like that who just take a loan of anyone who's prepared to give them the time of day. They just suck the life out of things, put their problems on other people, and cry foul when they don't get their own way. Nope........we all have problems and trial and difficulty, we all get on with them......so can she! Kids are starving for lack of food for goodness' sake!

    I cannot imagine you ever being one of those McLade!
I don't imagine I will ever be one of those people, either... And, you're right. We ALL have our own problems to worry about, I don't have the time or energy to add those of someone else who won't take the initiative to deal solve their own. I'm all on board to help someone who is struggling and trying... I just can't waste the energy on those who don't even try.


XHamburgDave 77M  
10462 posts
11/21/2020 9:12 am

Secret I worked for a guy like that, he was promoted in from another plant, to a position no one knew existed! His previous boss just wanted him gone.

Within 3 months of him arriving in Hamburg, he got a local girl pregnant with twins, moved in with her. To cut a long story short, 4 years later he has 3 kids, and she is screwing around with her ex!! My colleagues and I used to have a system, put a red dot on the calendar every day he didn't show!!

The amazing thing was that his immediate boss thought the sun shone out of his ass, but he wasn't in the same plant as us


Please visit my Blog "Older but no Wiser"


author51 58F
107906 posts
11/21/2020 7:58 am

I had a friend like this I had to let go of who was constantly whining all the time, playing the sympathy card..My own sister can get like that so instead of molly coddling,I tell them either to Suck It Up or If they don't like their situation, change it up..I am one to let Emotional Manipulators know if they want a pity party, they came to the wrong person to party with..Good post.

You can never have enough JOY in your life..

I39LL MAKE LOVE TO YOU


FitDaddy71 61M
148 posts
11/21/2020 7:56 am

BTDT. There are those who seem ever caught in the "whoa is me." I do not point fingers. I have had my dark days as well. I still have them. However, like you, I don't see the need to long invest myself in people who are emotional black holes. As Jesus once said somewhere, "The poor you will always have with you." I have worked besides men who earned as much or more than I did and yet were always living on a shoe string. I was raised to take responsibility for you own life and never be dependent on the handout of others. Again, I don't point fingers. We are all fighting our battles as best as we can.


flannel_light 58F  
1876 posts
11/21/2020 7:44 am

There are some people in this world who truly down on there luck but those are the ones you see busting there butt off to put food on the table and so on. Then you have people like this girl who wants everyone to do it for her and to me that is enabling them and they are capable of doing it for there self. I do not feel sorry for people like this. I am glad you wanted a better life for your self. You just have to say a prayer and just be nice to her.

The light of the lighthouse calms me.

flannel_light


secret_lade 46F
5787 posts
11/21/2020 7:17 am

    Quoting Paulxx001:
    Wow... You guys have a lot of drama and real life going on there. Hmmm... Sad and poignant and well... it's what it is, right?

    Over here? My reality is thinking about making a TP run and hoping that I can make it back alive - before the wolves tear into me.

    Reality is different things for different people. And we each have our own to manage. It's getting fucking tough out there, isn't it? 🤔
When you work with 300 coworkers and employees.... There's bound to be drama. I saw a lady with 4 packages of toilet paper in her cart yesterday.... The TP wars begins again!


Paulxx001 63M
17929 posts
11/21/2020 7:07 am

Wow... You guys have a lot of drama and real life going on there. Hmmm... Sad and poignant and well... it's what it is, right?

Over here? My reality is thinking about making a TP run and hoping that I can make it back alive - before the wolves tear into me.

Reality is different things for different people. And we each have our own to manage. It's getting fucking tough out there, isn't it? 🤔


lindoboy100 58M
22630 posts
11/21/2020 7:06 am

I've nae time for people like that who just take a loan of anyone who's prepared to give them the time of day. They just suck the life out of things, put their problems on other people, and cry foul when they don't get their own way. Nope........we all have problems and trial and difficulty, we all get on with them......so can she! Kids are starving for lack of food for goodness' sake!

I cannot imagine you ever being one of those McLade!

Pull ma finger.........


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