SEX GAMES
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Posted:Aug 18, 2017 11:48 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2024 5:6 am
3424 Views
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SEX GAMES
Some group sex events are best facilitated with some structure and in that
spirit the following games are presented.
The first is designed for parties where there is gender balance, but it
could EASILY be modified for any gender combination.
A Party Game
============
This Game has beed designed for a party of two or more couples,
but it can also be played by a single couple of lovers, or by
any number of persons.
The players may expect to lose some or all of their clothes, and
to win a lot of kisses and erotic excitement, fun and joy.
What you need to play The Game:
-------------------------------
A table,
comfortable seats with cushions or pillows,
an empty space for dancing and for performing erotic plays,
a large bed (in the same or another room),
plenty of drinks (but not too much alcohol) and some sweet dessert,
your favorite romantic music (for listening and dancing),
a pleasant and comfortable temperature and atmosphere,
enough time to relax and enjoy (perhaps 2 hours),
and the game materials themselves:
the game board (as sketched below) with the list of rules,
a dice (or a computer program that generates random numbers
between 1 and 6),
and one marker for each player to be used on the game board
(a coin, a button, a chess figure, or the like).
The General Rules:
------------------
At the start of The Game, every player should wear at least 4 and
at most 6 pieces of clothing. Pairs of things like stockings or shoes
count as one. Accessories like belts, glasses, jewelry... don't count.
If you don't like to show your underwear, feel free to replace it
with something more sexy like a bikini or G-String (which will still
be referred to as pants and bra in the instructions).
All players take their seats around the table (preferably with sexes
alternating and with love couples sitting next to each other) and
put their markers on "The Start".
A female player starts throwing the dice, to be followed by the player
next to her, and so on around the table.
Each time a player has thrown the dice, he/she advances his/her
marker by the appropriate number of fields and immediately obeys
the instruction listed for the field he/she has reached. Usually,
this involves performing some action, or moving the marker to
another field and then performing the action listed there.
If not stated otherwise, each action should be completed within
at most 30 seconds.
The Game ends whenever the majority of the players wants to do so,
usually after someone has reached "The Bed".
Each player may choose freely, with whom and how he/she wants
to perform the actions suggested by the instructions of The Game.
However, no player may be forced to anything he/she does not like.
All players must keep The Game pleasant, and avoid any danger of
harrassment, frustration, injury, disease, or pregnancy.
The following rules apply to the two most frequent actions:
kissing, and removing an article of clothing.
All other rules are given in the list of instructions for each field.
Kissing:
--------
Whenever you are told to kiss someone, you may kiss and carress
the other player in any way you like, as long as it is pleasant
for both of you.
However, you should not go too far too soon, and you should respect
the time limit (30 seconds, unless stated otherwise).
Whenever you are being kissed, you are expected to actively
respond with kisses and carresses of your own.
Removing Clothing:
------------------
If not stated otherwise, you are free to choose which article
of clothing you want to remove. Of course, you canot remove
stockings before shoes or pants before trousers.
Remember that pairs of stockings or shoes count as one.
If you are instructed to perform some action naked, take off
your clothes before starting the action, and do not put them
on again after the action.
Unnecessary requests like to remove clothes from a naked person
are just to be ignored.
The Game Board:
---------------
/---------+---------+---------+---------+---------+---------\
| | | | | | |
| | | | | | |
| 32 | | 25 |
| | | |
| v | | | |
+---------+ \---------+---------+---------/---------+
| | | ^ |
| | | |
| 35 | ^ | 24 |
| | ^ | |
| v | | |
+---------+---------+---------+---------+---------/---------+
| | | | | | ^ |
| | | | | | |
| 36 >| 37 >| 38 >| 39 >| 40 >| 23 |
| | | | | | |
| | | | | | |
\---------+---------+---------+---------+---------/---------+
| ^ |
| |
| 22 |
| |
| |
/---------+---------+---------+---------+---------+---------+---------+
| | | | | | | ^ |
| | | | | | | |
| 15 >| 16 >| 17 >| 18 >| 19 >| 20 >| 21 |
| | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | |
+---------+---------+---------+---------+---------+---------+---------/
| ^ |
| |
| 14 |
| |
| |
+---------+---------+---------+---------+---------+---------+---------\
| ^ | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | |
| 13 | | 1 >| 2 >| 3 >| 4 >| 5 |
| | | | | | |
| | | | | | |
\---------+---------+---------+---------+---------+---------+---------/
The Instructions for Each Field:
--------------------------------
0 The Start.
----------
1 The Bar:
--------
All players have a drink.
2 Kiss a player of your choice.
3 Remove 1 article of your clothing (but not pants nor bra).
4 Kiss as many players as you like (15 seconds each).
5 Remove 1 article of clothing (except pants or bra)
from a player of your choice.
6 Touch or carress a player of your choice
anywhere between neck and knees.
7 Remove 1 article of your clothing (except pants).
8 Kiss a player of your choice.
9 If you are wearing more than 3 articles of clothing,
then go to 3,
else remove 1 article of clothing (except pants)
from a player of your choice.
10 If you are wearing more than 3 articles of clothing,
then go to 2,
else kiss a player of your choice.
11 If you are wearing more than 3 articles of clothing,
then go to 7,
else share a drink with a player of your choice.
12 You have the choice:
Either go to 8 and win a kiss,
or go to 22 and lose your clothes.
13 You have the choice:
Either go to the beach (go to 14),
or go to the bar (go to 1).
14 The St. Tropez Beach:
---------------------
Remove all your clothing and put on some sort of "swim wear".
(Note that this beach is located in France where bikini tops
are allowed but not required.)
Lie down on the floor (or on some cushions) for 1 minute and
let the sun (or a player of your choice) kiss your skin.
15 The Dance Party:
----------------
For about 3 minutes (or more, if you like), all players are
free to do what they like: drinking, dancing, kissing...
16 Kiss as many players as you like (15 seconds each).
17 Remove 1 article of clothing from a player of your choice.
18 Uncover your breasts (i.e., remove all articles of clothing
that are covering your breasts).
19 Go to 21.
20 Go to 16.
21 If you are female, then play "Mother and Baby".
If you are male, then play "The Swim Champion".
Mother and Baby:
----------------
You are the mother, a player of your choice is your baby
which is crying for food. You uncover your breasts,
and let your baby suck as much of your milk as it likes
(1 minute).
The Swim Champion:
------------------
You are the champion who is preparing for the big event,
a player of your choice is your coach who is helping you.
You take off all your clothes, put on your "swim pants",
and have your legs massaged by your coach.
22 Remove all your clothing except your pants.
23 Tell a player of your choice two reasons why you like him/her.
24 The Upper Floor:
----------------
Kiss and carress a player of your choice
anywhere above his/her navel.
25 If you are completely naked,
then kiss as many players as you like (15 seconds each)
else remove 1 article of your clothing.
26 The Lower Floor:
----------------
Kiss and carress a player of your choice
anywhere below his/her navel.
27 The Heart Beat:
---------------
You have the choice:
Either you choose one player who kisses both your nipples,
or you choose two players who both kiss your nipples
simultaneously (one on either side).
28 If all players are completely naked,
then go to 34,
else remove 1 article of clothing from a player of your
choice.
29 You have the choice:
Go to any field you like (except 39 and 69).
30 All players enjoy "The Dance Party" (same rules as No.15).
---------------
31 The Finnish Sauna Bar:
----------------------
You and a player of your choice both take off all your clothes
and have a drink.
32 If you are completely naked,
then perform "Dirty Dancing",
else perform "The Strip Tease Show".
Dirty Dancing:
--------------
Perform a newly invented, very erotic sort of dance
with a player of your choice (1 minute).
The Strip Tease Show:
---------------------
You put on as many clothes as possible, stand in front of the
"audience" (all other players) and perform an excitingly erotic
strip tease until you are completely naked. This should take
at least 1 minute, at most 3 minutes.
At the end, the audience decides what you deserve as reward
(applause, kisses, ...).
33 You and a player of your choice, both naked, sensuously kiss
and carress each other.
34 Passionately kiss a player of your choice.
35 If you are completely naked,
then fondle several of the erogenous zones
of a player of your choice,
else remove all your clothing.
36 You have the choice:
Either play "The Hairdresser"
or play "The Massage"
The Hairdresser:
----------------
With your fingers, you comb and brush all the hair of your
(a player of your choice).
The Massage:
------------
For 2 minutes, you massage the body of your (a player
of your choice), starting with his/her neck and back, and
continuing as you like.
37 If you are female, then play "The Sweet Candy".
If you are male, then play "The Naughty Little Boy".
The Sweet Candy:
----------------
You cover your naked breasts with something sweet
(honey, jam, chocolate cream, yoghurt or the like)
and have it licked and sucked off by all male players,
until your breasts are completely clean; this should
not take more than 2 minutes.
The Naughty Little Boy:
-----------------------
You have been caught and get your naked bottom smacked
by your mother (a female player of your choice), until you promise
to be a good boy and to obey to all her wishes.
38 You have the choice:
Either demonstrate one of your favorite "love positions"
(with a player of your choice),
or tell one of your erotic dreams.
39 If all players are completely naked,
then go to 69 ("The Bed"),
else go to 33 (naked kisses).
40 Perform "The Body Art" with a player of your choice.
The Body Art:
-------------
Gently move your hands over every inch of your partner's
naked body (1 minute).
If your partner has enjoyed it, he/she may thank you
with a passionate kiss (30 seconds).
41 = 23 and so on (40+n = 22+n).
69 The Bed:
--------
Go to bed with one or several players of your choice and
make one of your most pleasant erotic dreams become true.
The official time limit for this bed activity is 2 minutes,
but if your co-players like what you are doing, they may
grant you some more time to achieve your goal.
Remember the rule to avoid any frustration...
The other players wait until you have finished.
The End:
--------
"The Bed" is a good place for deciding whether to continue or
to end The Game. In the latter case, some players may want to
remain in the bed...
70 = 25 and so on (70+n = 24+n).
Note: If minors or virgins are participating in The Game,
you may want to modify or to ignore some of the instructions
for the "advanced" fields 24 through 69.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another Game...
1...The questioner selects a victim
2...The questioner asks a question of the victim
3...The victim must either answer TRUTHFULLY, to the questioner's
satisfaction, or, if the victim does not want to answer the question, accept
and perform a 'dare'.
4...In the case of a dare, the questioner gives a task to be done by the
victim, which the victim MUST perform. Note that it is considered unfair to
use a dare to obtain the answer to the declined question.
5...After the victim has either answered to the questioner's satisfaction, or
performed the dare, the victim becomes the new questioner and selects a fresh
victim. Note that the victim cannot question the person who just asked them a
question (i.e. no immediate revenge).
6...At all times, a victim receiving the dare may object to the dare if it
truly violates their personal ethics (such as being asked to perform sex in a
dare, when the person is monogamous, etc). In that case, another dare should
be selected
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Vibrators
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Posted:Jul 17, 2017 5:43 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2024 5:6 am
6305 Views
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The subject at hand (ho ho) is vibrators. Enough people have asked me about them that I figure I should do a review of 'em as I see 'em. Actually, as we see 'em, since Omaha's reading this over my shoulder.
That being the case, let us first discuss what we all think when the word vibrator comes to mind. That is, a penis-shaped, batterypowered shaft of plastic. My general recommendation on these is, don't bother. Batteries do not have much power, die unexpectedly, and besides, they're environmentally unsound. The general object of vibration, from a woman's perspective, is that it is most effective around or, when close to orgasm, directly on the clitoris. The phallic shape is symbolic and amusing, but not functional, and it generally limits the size of the motor. And, depending on where you shop, the price could run from five to over forty bucks.
This is NOT to say you should never buy one. An SM bottom who's used to having his/her ass stuffed full of butt plug might be pleasantly shocked from hir familiarity when the thing starts to hum. The same, I imagine, is true of vaginal insertion. But in terms of vibration for sexual satisfaction, they aren't terribly effective; more of a distraction than anything else.
The second type of vibrator is the 'wand' vibrator. These come either as plug in or rechargable models. Major manufacturers of these include Con-Air, Oster, Panasonic, Hitachi, and Sears, as well as lesser known brands. Wall current and a functionally large base provide all the power one could ever wish for; the one I purchased (Hitachi) was for a young woman who, in my personal opinion, could have used one. Not because I thought her SO was lacking (he's a handsome brute (sigh)) but because I wanted to add something to their play. Omaha did get her to admit that it worked as I intended, and both accepted it in the manner I wanted. It's all in the way one gives them.
The disadvantages to the wand are few. Generally, the buzzing of head of these models is large; so much so that sometimes it's difficult to aim it properly. In the case of the Panasonic variety, it is impossible- the damned thing looks like it was designed specifically so that it could NOT be used as a sex toy. The nickel-cadmium batteries in the recharable models have the one major disadvantage of suddenly cutting out and stopping, but this can be alleviated by conscientious recharging and some models can be used while plugged in.
In general, wand type vibrators are fine. Most have a high/low speed setting. They run from about fifteen dollars to thirty, and most will stand up to years of abuse.
And finally, the third most common type is what I refer to as the 'handle' type. This consists of something that looks vaguely like a small hairdryer with a small, perpendicular shaft out of the thicker end, to which is attached a variety of heads. This is my preferred vibrator (with exceptions... see below), and is the most common type I've given away. The heads are generally of soft plastic or latex. Among the collection there's usually a small semi-spherical nub or 'spot' head, intended (on the box of the Oster type) for 'tight muscles.' Uh-huh. Sure it is. There's also usually a larger semi-spherical head, and a flat, rounded head: both of these are useful for more general therapeutic use. Made by Oster, Con-Air, all the usual. I have yet to see one of these as a rechargable model.
The advantages to these are simply legion - they're small, easy to hold, come with a high/low setting, never die (unless someone pulls the plug), and come with a lot of choices. All of them are quite quiet unless they've a glass to the door, nobody next door will know what you're up to. About the only disadvantage I can think of is the possible need to invest in an extension cord. The Con-Air unit's motor sometimes heats up after extended use, and it usually becomes uncomfortable to handle long before motor burn out. Before you automatically exclude the Con-Air from you list though, the heat does NOT run down the shaft to the nub, but becomes evident in the handle first- Con-Air designed it at least that well- and of all the handle type's I've purchased, it is the most powerful. The Sears model is the weakest, and in cheap black and chrome, the ugliest, I've ever used. The Oster is the one I usually buy. At $18.00, it has good power, is very small and fits comfortably in one hand, and doesn't have severe overheating problems.
The 'handle' types are available in sex shops, but don't buy them there. If you want something your mother won't worry about when she comes to visit, you don't want one that says "DOC JOHNSON'S LOVE MACHINE" on the side. Also, they're usually overpriced and, should one ever break down, they don't come with warranties. Buy one at JC Penny, Service Merchandise, Target, K-Mart, whatever. Usually they're near the home appliances, like hairdryers, curlers and such. And for Goddess's sake, don't be afraid to buy one. Sure, you know why you're buying, and the guy behind the counter may suspect, but he don't know you from Adam, and why should you give a damn anyway? (Of course, after number eleven, the guy at Burdines (that's where I bought mine) said, "Who's this one for?" I thought it was funny.) At fifteen to thirty dollars, they are absolutely worth it. And how embarassing can something be that's made by the same people who put together The Salad Shooter?
Finally, in a similar but different vein, the Shower Massage. Do not buy the Teledyne model if you can avoid it; it's far too large and ungainly to handle comfortable. The model I have installed in my home is by a company called Great Vibrations, out of California; I had to order replacement parts by mail when Ames went out of business. They're small, light, and it's easy to vary the pressure. And they're useful, too.
Shower massages are fun, but they have their problems. The hose tends to be too short, unless you install it to operate from the bathtub spout, for which there are adapters, but these usually involve taking a wrench to some of the works. Hoses tend to die quickly, as well, and if you use one, you may well have to replace the hose every other year or so. Also, the pressure can be difficult to control, but there are valves to help with that problem. The most common complaint is splashback; being gently sprayed with a distracting mist while masturbating. This can be especially annoying to SO's who aren't distracted themselves by rising orgasm.
But, if you like the warmth and fun of the shower and bathtub, I'd recommend the Great Vibrations general-purpose shower massage.
There are three specific models of vibrator I'd like to mention, one in detail. That one is the ACCU-VIBE 6000 or 6001 models, a two-speed wand-type vibrator available only through the Sharper Image. At $90 to $100 (depending on whether or not you buy the plug-in or rechargable model) they're pricey, but I bought one for Omaha, and it was worth every last cent. A thick handle topped with an almost mace-like head, it would seem to contradict my preference for 'handles.' But the head has a soft, rounded 'point' at one end (almost like the 'spot' head that comes with 'handle' type), and the long wand/battery housing provides her with ease-of-reach when it's used during manfrom -behind intercourse. The battery lasts 40 minutes, but for those 40 minutes it's the most powerful hand-held vibrator I've ever had the pleasure of handling. I've seen women scream and pray under its influence. And it can be used plugged in if the session goes longer. For the truly mischevious, I've seen places with appropriate adaptors so it can be powered off of an automobile cigarette lighter.
The second is the Sybian. I'm sure at least some of you have heard about this monster. I cannot speak authoritatively about it, because at $2155 it's a bit out of my price range. It was supposedly developed by therapists specializing in helping inorgasmic women, and it's guaranteed to work. Two .05 HP motors, the Sybian is a small, rounded bench with a small phallus sticking up out of it that buzzes and vibrates. I've read two reviews, and both give it high marks. Make of it what you will.
The third is Harley-Davidson. Actually, Omaha says motorcycles aren't that interesting to her as vibrators- too rough and overwhelming to be sexy. But they're fun in their own right.
Before I close, I need to put these absolute caveats: BEFORE USING ANY MECHANICAL VIBRATOR ON THE GENITALIA, APPLY LUBRICATION! THERE ARE FEW THINGS MORE PAINFUL THAN FRICTION BURNS ON LABIA, CLITORI, AND PENISES.
The vaginal opening is functionally quite distant from the clitoris, and in the beginning is unlikely to produce the lubrication you need- use a sexual lubricant (KY is always recommended). Oil-based lubricants are adequate, but the water-based types are best. The lubricant made by Parke-Davis (the name escapes me... It's the one in the green tube) breakes down quickly under vibration. This doesn't apply if you're using the vibrator for general therapeutic use- usually you're just gliding over dry skin and don't need lubrication. But for long-duration, high-pressure activities on sensitive areas, for your own sake use some sort of lubrication.
Similarily: DO NOT PURCHASE OR USE VIBRATORS THAT ARE SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED TO DELIVER HEAT TO THE BODY.
Several manufactures (Oster, most notably- Be Careful In What You Buy!) make "deep-heating massagers." I can't tell you how dain-bramaged these things are! If they work on muscles, great, but don't use them on your cunts and cocks. They're not fun, and I know of at least case of hospitalization from a woman who burned herself because she was so busy climaxing to notice the damage she was doing to herself. SM is one thing- That's quite another.
Now that I've the warnings out of the way, a few idle thoughts to pass the time.
"But sometimes, the vibrator and/or the lubricant is cold." This is one of the reasons I like the handle-types. The head is removable. Take one of those SUPER BIG GULP plastic cups and fill it with the hottest water you can get from your tap. Do NOT heat water on the stove! Drop in your tube of lubricant and vibrator head. Wait three or four minutes. Drain. The head of the vibrator and the lubricant should be warm enough. The Accu-vibe's 'nub' is also removable, a notable exception to most wand-types. Of course, if you're the impish sort, you could put your vibrator heads in the fridge or freezer before play.
One of the biggest pluses of KY and similar pharmaceutical lubricants is that they come in aluminum tubes. The plastic bottles of lubricant that come from sex shops do not conduct heat at all, and I've never found a way to satifactorily warm them up. Besides, the pharmaceutical types are generally cheaper and have better quality control.
THE PERFECT VIBRATOR? Easy! Analog speed control. Battery powered for at least two hours. Rechargable. Small, hand-held, one unit (no extraneous battery-packs on wires or the like). At least as powerful as the Oster model I like. And most definitely, waterproof. I can't think if the number of times I've wanted one I could take with us into the swimming pool. I figure it'll come from Sony someday. What I'd like is the slap-in type batteries that Black & Decker use on their portable tool shops. Come to think of it, the neodymium-magnet motors the Black & Decker uses for those things would be perfect for the Perfect Vibrator as well. Maybe B&D will make the damn thing.
Speaking of B&D, one of my favorite things to do with a female bottom is tie them to a wall with one hand free and the other limbs spread-eagled. Put a vibrator in the free hand, and plug it into a wall outlet controlled by a switch. On. Off. On. Off. The Accu-vibe 6000's handle is ungainly enough that it's hard for them to masturbate with that hand, and if they drop it, they'll never get it back. The 6000's power cord plugs into the base, so you can't hold it by the wireit falls off. With a decent collar, can't hold it under the chin, and it's too big to hold in the teeth. Oh, the fun I've had! Kris (my favorite) may never forgive me for it. Omaha won't let me do it to her. But she'll gleefully run Kris' switch.
And, going back the the subject of phalluses- if you like the sensation of penetration, I recommend buying a soft dildo and holding a good, strong vibrator against it. Just as effective, if not more so, and although I have no evidence either way, probably safer. Most dildos are soft latex, not rigid plastic. Unlike a good vibrator, one has to go to a sex shop to find a good dildo. And remember- In Texas, owning more than five dildos is 'possession with intent to sell!'
Now that "STD" has replaced "VD" in our language, "VD" has sometimes been jokingly said to stand for "Vibrator Dependant." On "Donahue" Phil once asked the question, "Is it possible for the vibrator to replace a man?" The response was "Nothing will ever replace a good vibrator." The audience booed at that. But, right after that, the speaker continued, "And nothing will ever replace the warmth of a good partner." The audience similarily recovered. And I've never met differently. The types of vibrators I buy and recommend wil never replace the sensations of hugging, cuddling, spanking, or intercourse. Nor, really, is it a replacement for cunnilingus. The sensations (or so I'm told) are so radically different. Besides, it's a very different head-space, holding a machine between her legs, or actually being there, between your love's thighs, licking her very private places.
But, now that I've mentioned it, let's discuss STDs. (Oh, no... what could vibrators have to do with STDs? "Are we gonna get another AIDS lecture? Am I excused now?" The Hell you are! Sit down and listen!) If you are going to share your vibrator with a friend, know this: No matter how much lubrication you use, a vibrator can cause microscopic abrasions. If, for any reason, you or your partner is unsure, use some sort of latex sheeting between yourself and the vibrator. If you're going to pass the vibrator on, clean everything (except the motor, of course) with an immersion in 10% bleach for at least 20 minutes. It sounds like a small thing, but I know of three women who round-robined a rather nasty yeast infection on a Con-Air several times before tracking down the one thing they all had in common.
So. There you have Elf's Vibrator Review. Hope it was educational.
VIBRATOR REPORT UPDATE:
Two things come immediately to mind as I write this update. The first is that many people wrote me last year to tell me that they used 'Wand' type vibrators and found them quite acceptable. I didn't pan them, I just don't use them. At twenty dollars per, most people can afford more than one buzzer, and if the 'Handle' don't do it for ya, the 'Wand' is a perfectly viable alternative.
The other thing that comes to mind regards my comment that pharmaceutical jellies are preferable to the "Motion Lotions" sold in sex shops because they are (1) pharmaceutical grade and (2) come in metallic containers, thus making them easier to warm to body temperature.
Although nobody can argue with pharmaceutical grading, there are problems with many pharmaceutical jellies. Being water-based, they do dry out quickly and often need replenishing. Although Omaha and I continue to use PJ's rather than sex-shop lubes, you may well want to try alternates yourself.
The reason I'm backing off from my previous full-stance on PJ's is this: Johnson and Johnson switched to a plastic tube. The plastic tube is harder to use; the plastic doesn't stay to form, and thus getting your money's worth out of it is difficult; the plastic tube IS NOT SAFETY SEALED, and while I'm not fond of the idea of cyanide in my Tylenol, I'm also not fond of caustics in my KY, either; and the tube is plastic, and has the same heat-transmission problems the sex-shop tubes have.
And, finally, my ACCUVIBE has died. But, being mechanically inclined and resourceful, I have already soldered new batteries into place. It's better than buying a whole new $100 vibrator.
Happy Buzzing!
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Advanced Fellatio Techniques and Secrets
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Posted:Jun 20, 2017 9:31 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2024 5:6 am
4344 Views
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Advanced Fellatio Techniques and Secrets
When I published Advanced Cunnilingus Techniques and Secrets, I included a comment about perhaps doing a fellatio counterpart. Well, I've gotten quite a few requests, and demands, that follow through, especially with the How to Swallow without it Tasting Bad part. So, OK, here it is...
On the other hand, it was the number of unsolicited questions on the subject that caused me to write Advanced Anal Sex Techniques, for those of you who want to know about that subject.
There are two ways one could become expert enough at fellatio to write this page: By being really good at it, or by having been subjected to the attentions of people who were even better at it. Consider me the latter.
As I've said before, the best part of sex is giving pleasure to your partner. But #2 on my personal list, behind going down on my lover, is being gone down upon myself. And I've had a couple of partners who were mind-blowingly good at this. I made a point of learning what it is they did, and how, as well as having simply learned what felt best on me.
Basic Guidelines
First, everything here is a generalization. "Most guys" means most guys, not all guys. With that in mind...
Most guys are very different than women, when it comes to what they enjoy. With women, starting out very slowly is more important. With guys, there is a much better chance that the guy will be impatient, and there is most definitely a lower overall standard as to what most guys will enjoy.
When starting out, the best bet is to start slowly, and indirectly. Men tend to be more visual than women, stereotypically, so part of taking your time would include almost touching...kissing around the rest of his body (depending on what's accessible under the circumstances), caressing, but not necessarily actually touching his erotic zones, yet.
When doing this, remember the "many guys get impatient" rule. The longer you can drag out each step (while still making progress), the better, but some guys don't want much of this at all, and if you pay attention it should become obvious.
Unfortunately, another general difference is that guys are less expressive. This is a shame, because it keeps them from enjoying it as much, as well as making it harder for you to tell what works with them. I cases like that, talking about them perhaps being more expressive, especially by telling them it excites you (hopefully this is true), is the best bet...but only if your relationship (or their personality) is secure enough to allow it.
The other day, on Don & Mike (radio gods), a woman caller bragged that her nickname was "eight seconds", meaning the time it took her to bring a guy to orgasm from fellatio. While a sizable portion of guys do actually like that, it is not the way to give the best orgasm. In fact, it's the worst way. Remember that some guys do prefer it, though.
See, the longer a guy is "tortured" (as one of the best fellatio artists I know puts it), the stronger his orgasm will be. "tortured" means "kept sexually excited, and stimulated, but not actually allowed to have an orgasm".
DO NOT be afraid to use your hands. If he's not one of those get-it-over-quick (GIOQ) types, there are many things you simply cannot do with your mouth, but can with your hands. Specific techniques in the advanced section.
Even among eroginous zones, don't stick only to the penis. Some guys have more sensitive nipples than most women, for example (I'm one of those guys, in fact).
The scrotum/gonads (I mostly use technical terms, just to keep things consistent...I can write great erotic literature, but that's not what this article's about) are also essential, if he's not a GIOQ type.
The cheeks of the butt, on both men and women, actually have some automatic sexual response linked to them, especially from repeated pressure. This is because our distant ancestors often had sex "doggy style", and so a patting sensation on the butt was a good standard signal for hormones to start moving. Guys have it too, for the same reason they have nipples. A good butt massage, or perhaps gently rhythmic pressure, can really get some guys going.
The anus should be carefully mentioned here. I say carefully because, of course, a lot of guys feel uncomfortable with attention to it. But it is an erotic zone, especially because it includes the prostate gland. But more, again, in the advanced section.
Once he can't take it any more, or you can't, the question of spitting versus swallowing comes up. Some people, in an attempt to not offend or upset, claim that it's not really a big deal. But it is, overall. Of course plenty of guys really don't care, or don't even like their lover swallowing, while even more haven't had the chance to find out the difference. But for most guys swallowing makes a (positive) difference. This isn't just because it feels better, or more intimate. It's also, perhaps even mainly, because spitting, or evading the ejaculation altogether, brings on (even if they consciously know it's not the case) a sense of rejection (conscious or subconscious). For a woman, imagine a guy starting to go down on you and then making sputtering noises and wiping your juices frantically from his tongue and lips. You might find it a bit disappointing, if not just plain hurtful, wouldn't you. If you're a guy reading this, then you don't need an example, you've probably had it done to you. But most guys are used to lovers not swallowing, so I only bring this up so we've made clear which way's more likely to work "best".
Don't forget that, though guys have a different kind of insecurity than women, they do have frail egos...they just hide it more. So excited smiles/faces and noises can, with some guys, make a big difference in how much they enjoy it.
Condoms This is your call. The odds of the blow-ee catching HIV/AIDS from the blow-er are probably about the same as if you were shaking hands. The odds of the person sucking/swallowing catching it are way less than the odds of transmitting HIV/AIDS by coitus, and astronimically less than catching it from anal sex, which makes up probably more instances of transmission than all other forms of transmission combined. In fact, there is little evidence at all of HIV/AIDS being transmitted to someone who was performing fellatio, aside from a few people who had a form of gum disease that resulted in a lot of open cuts in their mouth. Oh, it's worth note that you get tiny cuts in your mouth when you brush your teeth, though they heal in minutes, so you might want to avoid brushing right before fellatio. Try chewing gum instead, I guess. Heh.
Advanced Techniques
Swallowing (without it tasting really bad)
This is possible. In fact, only a mental barrier stands between those who "can't" and those who can. But you have to know the technique. Oh, I should point out that a large minority of people enjoy the taste, either for the flavor or because bringing that kind of pleasure to their lover is so wonderful.
But a larger number think it can taste pretty bad. This depends a lot on the guy himself (each guy tastes different, some very much so), and also on what they eat (rumor has it that fruit makes it taste better, and fatty foods make it taste worse, as do some spices).
The trick is to not taste it at all. This sounds too simple to be true, but:
When a guy starts to cum, the typical response is to try to pace it a bit... to hold it in one's mouth for a moment before swallowing. This is the only reason one tastes it.
Instead, just start swallowing, immediately and hard. If you can get te tip into the back of your mouth without having a gag reflect problem (more on that later), the ejaculation will go completely down your throat without you tasting it at all. All that's left is a vague aftertaste, and even that is much weaker than if you had allowed it to stay in your mouth. This technique fast-swallowing actually feels better, to a lot of guys, than if you had paced it normally.
Deep Throating (overcoming the gag reflex)
A penis in the back of one's mouth sometimes makes them "gag". So does a finger, or a banana, actually.
I put quotes around "gag" because it's sorta an illusion. The "trick" to not "gagging" is to not interrupt the reflex. What, technically, is happening is that your body is trying to swallow, and a finger, penis, or banana doesn't cooperate. Some people can learn to just resist/ignore the reflex, but even better is to turn it into a real swallow. I believe (don't try it at home) that's how sword swallowers do it. Certainly it's how "deep throat" technique people do it. It's really just that simple. When you would have felt like gagging, you swallow. I, personally, have confirmed this with a banana, and a finger.
This isn't just for swallowing (which it helps). It can feel very, very good for fellatio overall.
Texture (don't just keep repeating a single motion)
But don't forget texture. OK, the largest minority of guys doesn't care at all about variety (in a single session), he just wants rhythmic pumping. But in that case most of these techniques are wasted on him, anyway. But the rest of guys, a majority, are in various categories of liking at least some change at some point during a specific fellatio session. I should bring up the texture thing at the end of every section, but to save time and space I'll just hope you remember this paragraph. Switch from one technique to another every so often during a session, if he seems to respond well to that. Try to make the change smooth and natural, don't just stop one thing and start another. And we're not talking about switching every few seconds...more like every few minutes, maybe even longer.
Various Other Oral Techniques
Sucking really hard
Some guys hate this, but some are amazed at how good it feels. This is especially good as a "texture" (variety) change during a blowjob. This doesn't just mean sucking at one constant pressure...to really amaze him, try sucking hard just on the out-stroke, or just on the in-stroke (a more subtle effect), or actually pausing any motion while doing it.
Licking
You may think this is obvious, but it's not, really. Especially since many guys seem to just expect a rhythmic head-bobbing sorta suck-fest. But licking is another technique that can be surprisingly effective. Especially at two points - Early on, before you've actually touched his penis and are (in theory) exciting him by working up to it. Licking is a great way to make first contact. The other time is when you've prolonged things until he's so hard and excited that breathing on him seems to get him close. Trace the lines and textures of his head (glans), down the ridge of his shaft (the side away from his belly/abdomen, more on that later), his balls (more on that later), and even the exact point where the inside of his thigh meets the skin of his scrotum, on each side. That last spot almost deserves its own section, because it can be very effective. Especially, again, early on before you've focused on his penis, or after he's really, really close. That area can also be sucked on, at other times...in some men this is very stimulating.
Giving him the shaft
The line down the shaft of his penis, on the side opposite where his penis would touch his abdomen if pressed against it, is one of the best-kept secrets. This is because its effect isn't obvious at first. But firm, rhythmic stimulation at some point along the line down his penis on that side (where exactly it is depends on the person) can have a startling, strong effect. Depending on the situation, this can be done with fingers, the tongue, or firm sucking (just on that area).
Having a ball
This varies so much from guy to guy that it's kinda hard to nail down. Some guys are almost indifferent to their balls/scrotum being given attention, or are even uncomfortable with it...but more find it at least a nice change, some find it fantastic. Various techniques include sucking a whole "ball" into one's mouth, and gently fondling it with the tongue, while it's there. This can't be done for very long without becoming uncomfortable, though. Or licking about firmly at them when not in the mouth, or to suck at the skin itself.
I don't think I'll go much into analingus/anal sex. That would probably require a whole separate article. (OK, I got enough questions about it that I decided to write an article on it: Advanced Anal Sex Techniques) Suffice it to say that a minority of people find this very stimulating, and technically it should be, considering the proximity to vaginal sexual nerves (women) and the prostate(men)...but most people are little (or more) uncomfortable with it, performing or receiving.
But, nearby, one has the base of the scrotum, going in a line toward the anus. There is a spot along there which can be licked, or better yet gently pushed with a finger in a rhythmic fashion, that stimulates the prostate. This allows one to avoid the whole butt thing, if they're uncomfortable with it, and still get a little of the almost magical effect that stimulating the prostate can have. This may need to be something done rhythmically for more than a little while, with the penis being stimulated at the same time, to really work well. Gentle, but firm.
Hands
A lot of the best techniques involve hands. If you or he insists on sticking to purely oral, then a lot of amazing stuff is missed.
First, there's obviously caressing. This can be done all over the body, and not just during the initial build-up phase. This is also a great thing to do during pauses, when prolonging things when he's too close to orgasm too soon.
The Cock Pull
One really effective trick for direct attention to the penis is to use both hands, but only in one direction. Saliva may be enough for this, depending on the situation...but some additional lubricant, preferably oil-based, may be necessary. Starting at the base, slide a hand up toward the tip, placing the other hand by the base. Just before it comes off of the tip, start the other hand moving up from the base toward the tip. While doing that, put the other hand down on the base. Keep this up, slowly getting faster. This works great with a really hard penis (and it's so different/stimulating that he'll probably have to look (or ask, if it's dark) to see what's going on)...but it's also a great trick for someone who's not erect yet (or even having trouble with it). This, obviously, is the one sure way to have a pumping-type stimulation whether hard or not. It's my understanding that this works miracles on some people who, say, are using blood pressure medication or have some other erectile problem. The opposite works, too, though only with an erect penis. I mean starting on the top and sliding down to the base, starting the other hand on the tip before the first finishes, et cetera, back and forth.
The Drum
If you want to really amaze him, and have him trying to find out what you're doing, try this - gently wrap a thumb and index finger around his nuts, to pull them (again, gently) away from his body slightly, until you have a slight sort of surface tension on the "end" (spot farthest from his body), a bit like a bulging drum. Then gently (OK, with a very few people it can be more forceful, but work your way up to it) run your tongue in a circle around that "end" area. If one right (and it's hard to get just right), it creates a really amazing sensation. This won't get most people to orgasm, but it does feel really good. With a few people you can even use your fingertip. Or fingernail, though to me that feels a bit too much like a knife.
Hands are also a good backup plan for when your mouth tires. The best tactic is make switching back and forth a normal part of your technique, so it's not obvious if/when you do need to take a rest break for your mouth.
OK, there's a ton more I could write...but hey, there's also a lot I didn't include in Advanced Cunnilingus Techniques. I'll probably get back and spruce both of them up, eventually.
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HOW TO SUCK COCK
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Posted:May 17, 2017 6:55 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2024 5:6 am
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The Art of Fellatio or How to Suck Cock
This chapter is for those gals who wonder what sucking a mans cock is all about, think they might like to do it, or already do it but want to learn how to both give and receive more pleasure from it. It will teach them the skills they need so that both they and their partner can receive more pleasure from fellatio.
Studies show that from 50 to 80 percent of women perform fellatio. Of those, 35 to 65 percent find it pleasurable, with the rest saying they can take it or leave it or don't enjoy it. Other studies show 90 percent of married couples under 25 giving head. If you're just sucking cock because your man wants you to, read on, your man may find himself waking up in the middle of the night with his cock in your mouth.
Why would a woman like to suck a man's cock? Why would she even want to put his cock in her mouth? First off, you have to have a man with the right attitude about sex and your needs before you should even think about putting his cock in your mouth or anywhere else in you for that matter, enough said. I've sucked a few cocks over the years and talked to many women who have also. Some women submit to sex, some accept it, some willingly participate when aroused, but some really like it and don't always wait for their man to initiate it. Unfortunately, a lot of those women who only submit to or accept sex simply have a lousy lover. Most women I know who really like sex also like to suck cock. I don't like to suck cock instead of fucking, I like it as a supplement to fucking. Sucking a man's cock makes my cunt ache to have one in it. I love to suck him off and then keep working on his cock until I can get him hard enough to fuck me. Those fucks are some of the best I've ever had, well, maybe tied with having him eat me first.
But never mind who does and who doesn't do it, I think that the reasons those who do suck cock do it are similar to the two that make men like to eat pussy, plus a third unique to women. First, they have a loving caring man and the more he likes what they do, the hotter their cunts get. The second is the role that the mouth and tongue play in sex. Why do people kiss? They receive pleasure from the interaction that takes place during a kiss. The mouth, lips and tongue are some of the more erogenous zones of the body and are active rather than passive, you do something with them. You nibble on his ears, kiss and suck on his nipples, kiss his navel, why not kiss and suck on the most sexual part of his body, that thing you love to have thrust into you, his cock. The third is the almost subconscious sexual desire of a woman to draw a man into her body, when she gets hot she wants his cock in her, and her mouth is an inviting place to put it. Put this all together and his cock in your mouth is where it's at gals.
Just for a minute, forget how good it feels to a man for a woman to take his cock into her soft loving mouth, lick it, suck it, slide her lips down over it until she has her face buried in his bush.
Let your imagination conjure up images of your favorite movie star's cock in your mouth. It's live, warm, feel it throb as his hart beats. Feel it pulse as he tightens his muscles. Imagine sucking it inside you and bringing him to climax.
Sucking a man's cock can be one of the pure pleasures in a woman's life. It's sad to think that many women don't appreciate just how much fun it can be. One reason for this, outside of being with the wrong man, is that they don't know how to suck cock and so it doesn't end up being much fun. Because if you mess up, you don't get your reward. The cock doesn't get hard, the man doesn't have a good time and the woman feels like a failure. Other reasons are: a man's cock is dirty; he urinates through it; he won't respect me if I do it; he'll cum in my mouth. The answers are: if he washes his cock, it's as clean as your finger that you willingly put in your mouth; urine is not poison and doesn't carry germs, besides he doesn't urinate when he has a hard-on; he'll probably love you for it and give you head to boot; he won't cum in your mouth if you don't want him to, besides you'll probably want him to when you get into it.
Many women who do give head seem to think that simply making a cunt of their mouth, closing it around a man's cock, and bobbing their heads lustily up and down until he climaxes automatically makes them experts. Tant so girls!
But here's the good news; it's easy to learn how to be a terrific cock-sucker and once you find out how to do it right, your man will love it and so will you. It'll take some practice, but that's work?
What's Down There
But first things first. Let's talk about the "basic cock." LOOK at his cock. I don't mean a casual glance, study that thing you're thinking about wrapping your lips around. You've had it in your cunt and it felt good there, it just might feel good in your mouth. He'll be glad to let you look at it, if you want to look at it, you just might want to do something else with it.
Turn on a strong light and get him flat on his back on your bed. Take his cock in your hand and see if you can get it hard. Now, take a close look at it. The main part is called the shaft. There's a bulbous part near the outer end, slightly larger in diameter than the shaft, which is called the glans penis or head. The ridge where the head joins the shaft is called the corona. This is the most sensitive part of his cock. Follow this ridge around to the underside. There's a juncture where the two ends come together. This tiny area is easily the most sensitive spot on his entire body. Just like your clit, this is where the action is. You can bring him to climax by gently tapping the tip of your tongue directly on it. The opening in the tip of the head is the meatus. Here's where that cum that's been squirting out into your cunt has been coming from.
The shaft doesn't have many nerve endings over a particular area or any special nerves. As a result, it doesn't provide a man with any high degree of stimulation when caressed, either with your hand or your tongue. The shaft will, however, respond to pressure. There is also power in numbers, so when all of its nerves are fully enclosed in a warm, wet mouth that's sucking and slipping and sliding around on it, the feeling is great. The deeper the better girls.
Underneath the shaft, where it joins his body, is the scrotum, and inside are the testicles (family jewels, balls, nuts). This is where his sperm is created. You're born with all of your eggs, but he continuously manufactures sperm to fertilize those eggs. They're also sensitive to temperature, they don't like to get too hot or too cold. When his balls get too cold, the scrotum shrinks and pulls his balls up against his body to keep them warm. When they get too warm, the scrotum extends to let them cool. His balls are also pulled up against his body inside his scrotum when he's getting ready to cum. His balls are sensitive to excessive pressure and are all too often ignored as an erogenous area. Big mistake! Men actually like for a woman they trust to play with their balls, if they know how to do it.
Study his cock, play with it with your hand, ask him what feels best. Run your tongue over it, feel the texture, watch his reactions as you lick the various areas. Take some of it in your mouth and hold it there for a while. Watch his reaction and think about how it feels in your mouth physically and what it feels like to have your man's cock in your mouth emotionally.
There are other parts of a man's body which respond well to oral stimulation. Spend some time finding them.
Getting Ready
Now that you've taken time to really look at his cock and play with it some, you've gotten beyond "Parts is parts" and recognize that some parts are more equal than others. It takes a reasonable amount of skill and practice to become a good cock-sucker, to know how to work on those parts in a way that provides him with the pleasure he's looking for and enjoy doing it. Lets start in with the first lesson.
Where should you be when you're sucking his cock? Between his legs, on top of him, in a sixty nine position? Actually, any place where you can get his cock in your mouth, a car seat, chair, him standing on his head, it really doesn't matter as long as you're both comfortable. However, because of the way his cock and your mouth, lips, tongue, teeth and throat are made and what you have to do to his cock, you can make him enjoy it more and get more out of it yourself by kneeling between his legs. This can be with both of you on the bed or with his hips at the edge of the bed and you on the floor. You can make eye contact and he can easily stroke your head with his hands in this position. Deep-throating works better with slightly different positions but we'll get to that later, lets get his cock in your mouth first. Lets start out with both of you on the bed. The down side of you being on the bed is that holding your head up while you bend over his cock can tire you if you want to go at it for a long time but it'll be fine for these first lessons. You can stretch out between his legs and lay your head on his thigh with his cock in your mouth, but it's hard to do much with it in this position. A fairly common position, which also works well for deep-throating and throat fucking, is with him standing and you kneeling on a cushion in front of him.
We talked about him giving you head on a lazy summer afternoon in the first chapter, sometimes when you're giving him head, you'll want to just lie there and play with his cock. Maybe you've been fucking and he's cum a couple of times. You get the urge to give him a blowjob and can probably work up a hard-on for him with some effort, but it'll take a while for him to cum. The best position for this is probably the same as for leisurely eating pussy, him lying with his hips at the side of the bed, his feet and knees resting in chairs, you resting on a cushion on the floor with his cock in your mouth and his head on a pillow watching you. You can recline there with his balls in your hand and your head resting on his thigh, making eye contact while you suck on his cock for hours. If you want to tilt your head back to deep-throat his cock, just rise up on your knees and have at it. He can easily put his hands on your head in this position also. The side by side 69 position with your head on his thigh and his cock in your mouth is a nice comfortable position, it also puts his face enticingly close to your pussy. Try various positions. See what works best for the two of you.
What Do You Do With His Cum
If there's one thing you should try to cultivate a taste for it's his cum, you don't have to swallow it, just let him cum in your mouth. Any time you've had his cock in your mouth and he's been anywhere near cuming, some of his cum has been dribbling out of it and you probably didn't even notice it. It may seem that I'm devoting a lot of space to this subject. I am, but that's because it's currently a hot subject with many people going off on tangents about diets and using condoms and on and on. I think that his cum should be considered a part of his climax that has to occur with his cock in your mouth and that you should cultivate a taste for it. Although a lot of women like it's taste and look forward to it, it's not a pleasant taste for a number of women. However, it's a taste that can be cultivated and it becomes a pleasant experience if you just let your self get caught up in his climax and taste his orgasm, not just his cum.
I love the sensations of his pulsing, thrusting cock squirting his cum into my mouth and throat, but sometimes I like to watch it shoot. It gives me visual images for my wet dreams and besides, it's a thrill to see the spurting cum. It's amazing how that stuff shoots out. If you want to watch, you'll feel it coming with your hand and know when to back off. If you're fast, you can even try to catch some on your tongue. However, even though I like to watch it shoot, that's not necessarily what a man likes for it to do, not up in the air anyway. Lets face it, the male of the species' basic function in life is to impregnate the female. He does that by planting his sperm in her, not up in the air, as deep and often as he can.
He can control that desire to a point, but doing so robs him of a deep innate satisfaction that's very meaningful to many men, they're more emotional than they let on. He wants your body to suck all of that sperm out of his cock and swallow it up. Whether or not you swallow their cum is not a big deal with most men. They like to see you do it but they really don't want you to take their cock out of your mouth until they've finished cuming and started to come down from their emotional high. When he's fucking you, you feel that you're drawing him into yourself when you cum, part of his sexual makeup is a mirror image of yours and he feels that he's being drawn into you when he cums. He needs for you to keep his cock in your mouth, continuing to increase the intensity of your fellatio, until he cums and his climax lets down.
It's a real letdown for him if you take his cock out of your warm soft mouth just as he's reaching the climax that you've both worked so hard for and jack him off into a wet rag. It's almost like him pulling his cock out of your cunt just as you start to cum and finishing you off with his finger. So brace yourselves girls and keep that cock in your mouth until he's finished and you've both started to come down. You really were worked up over what you were doing weren't you? Besides, that's not a bad choice. Remember, he can jack himself off and watch it shoot on the shower floor without any help from you.
I'm not going to try and tell you his cum tastes like honey, it doesn't. What I am going to try and tell you is that its taste shouldn't be a big deal. Sex is messy, you get his cum and the juices from your cunt all over each other and the bed when you fuck and it doesn't matter until you have to clean it up. Most men will grab you, hug you and kiss you after you've finished giving them head, and they won't ask you to wash your mouth out first, it just doesn't matter in the heat of passion. The taste of cum varies from man to man and from time to time. One man's cum can taste good to one woman and bad to another. It has a texture similar to the white of a raw egg. It can be almost tasteless with a faint aftertaste that I can't quite describe. It's usually slightly salty and can be somewhat bitter. There's some evidence there's less taste if a man has had a vasectomy and there's no sperm in it, nice isn't it, he's safe and tasteless. There's also not much odor until it dries and then it's rather offensive.
You must remember, this is not like wine tasting where taste is everything, it's sex, and sex is mostly in the mind. I read a lot of questions from women about how bad cum tastes and what to do about it. I also read comments from those who say they love to take his cum in their mouths and swallow every drop of it. I think it's the same old story about a vocal minority opposing something they don't like while the silent majority either likes it or doesn't care one way or the other. I said something earlier about women I know personally who like sex liking to suck cock, all of them like for their man to cum in their mouths and look forward to swallowing it. Some say they like the taste, most say the taste just doesn't matter, they want him to cum in their mouth to complete his orgasm and their blowjob.
You do a lot of things when you're sexually aroused that you might not otherwise do. When you're giving him head, you're already sexually aroused, or else you wouldn't have his cock in your mouth in the first place. To enjoy giving him head You need to let yourself go and become immersed in bringing him to his orgasm. This works better if he's done his part and gotten you good and hot before you start, but not made you cum yet. The anticipation of him passionately eating out your pussy after you finish giving him head will keep your mind off such things as the taste of his cum and it running down your chin and dripping on your breasts while his cock is sliding in and out of your mouth. If you read the first chapter on eating pussy, you'll recall that the problem is similar to a man's first attempt at giving you head, accept that a woman's pussy does taste and smell like honey to many men after they get into it.
You'll probably let him cum in your mouth at first because you know it detracts from his orgasm if he doesn't and you want to give him as much pleasure as you can. You know it feels good to him and he likes to do it. Hopefully, taking his cum into your mouth will not be something you do just because he wants you to. As you let yourself get caught up in the emotions of having sex with your man, the thoughts, the anticipation of having his cock deep in your mouth and throat will excite you sexually. You'll want his cock in you, you'll fantasize about his cum shooting into your mouth, not to taste it but to taste his climax. You'll do all you can to bring him to climax, eagerly waiting for his cock to start pulsing and thrusting in your mouth, signaling the beginning of his orgasm. You'll suck hard on his cock as it pulses to increase his pleasure, waiting for his cum to start so you can suck it out and let it shoot into your mouth. You'll feel his cum spurting out with each pulse of his cock, taste it as you suck out the last drops and swallow them and then lick his cock clean like you were sucking the juice off a popsicle. You'll may find yourself wanting to keep his cock in your mouth for a while after he cums until you start to let down from the sexual high you were on while you were sucking him off.
If you don't want to start out with him cuming in your mouth, let him cum in your hand. Then stick your tongue in it and taste it. Let him taste it at the same time, he'll do it if he's concerned about your needs. Dip your tongue in it and then give him a deep French kiss. Now take just enough in your mouth to be able to fully experience its flavor and texture, swish it around with your tongue and then spit it out. Don't wash your mouth out, just let the flavor slowly dissolve as it mixes with your saliva and learn about its aftertaste. Try taking the rest of it in your mouth and holding it there, then spitting it out. Once you get used to having a quantity of his cum in your mouth, try spitting out most of it and swallowing the rest.
When you've tasted his cum and feel you're ready to go for it, let him cum directly in your mouth, you don't have to take all of it the first time, there's only a spoon full or so, just take some of it in, pull his cock out, finish him off with your hand and let the rest squirt somewhere else, you can clean it up later. As you do it more often, you'll begin to like the sexuality of it and look forward to taking all of it, it becomes a sensual thing, a part of your natural desire to participate in his orgasm to the fullest extent, drawing him into you as he climaxes.
If you don't want to swallow it at first, spit it out. Then, smile up at him, take his cock back in your mouth and play with it for a while. Gently now, because it's sensitive just like your clit after you've cum, suck those last few drops out of it and lick it clean. This says, hey, I want your cock in my mouth when you cum, I want to suck your load out of your cock and feel it shoot into my mouth, I just don't want to swallow it. I bet you'll soon be looking forward to swallowing it, most women do, besides, it's not as messy that way. You'll find out that swallowing his cum can be an intensely intimate act for both of you, it can be a significant symbolic gesture of love. Good sex isn't just the pleasure of reaching a climax, it's when you share each other's climax. It's when your efforts to bring him to a climax excite you to the point where you could almost cum, sometimes his cum squirting into your mouth even drives you over the top.
If you like to swallow it and have learned to swallow with his cock in your mouth, swallow it as he cums, otherwise keep it in your mouth until he's done. If you're sucking on his cock while he's cuming, you won't have much cock in your mouth, just an inch or so. You should be able to swallow normally, just like you were drinking coke out of a bottle. When he's finished cuming, hold your lips tight around his cock, look up at him, and slide your mouth off it like you were sucking the juice off a popsicle, then swallow whatever is still in your mouth. Take his cock back in your mouth a couple of more times, sucking and licking it clean while maintaining eye contact and smiling. Let him know you like it.
I said earlier, you can either swallow his cum or spit it out. There's a third choice, if you're into deep-throating, he can shoot it into the bottom of your throat and it'll go straight down your esophagus into your stomach. We'll talk about deep-throating a little further on. For most men, it feels great, both physically and psychologically, for you to suck the cum out of their cock during orgasm, just like you were sucking it out of a straw. Your throat can't play with the head of his cock and suck on it while he's at the height of his orgasm, only your mouth can do that. You'll learn to use your mouth and throat to bring him up to a high level of excitement and then bring him to an intense orgasm with his cock in your mouth. Although sometimes you'll both want him to shoot his load down into the bottom of your throat, you still need to learn to take it into your mouth because you can give most men the greatest pleasure by completing their climax with their cock in your mouth.
Once you begin experiencing the pleasures of cock-sucking, you'll probably want to deep-throat his cock, it's that sexual thing of the more the better, he'll want all of his cock in you and you'll want all of his cock in you, it's a win win situation. There'll be times then, when his cock is sliding in and out of you from just inside your lips down to the bottom of your throat, that you'll both want to forget where his cock is and just let him cum, keeping up, or increasing, the intensity of your fellatio until he comes down from his orgasm. In this case, he'll probably leave a trail of cum from your lips to the bottom of your throat. We'll talk more about him cuming in your throat in the following sections.
Basic Playing Around
It doesn't matter what setting you choose, you can be home in bed or parked on your town's main street, just find whatever level of privacy you need to feel relaxed. For the purpose of these lessons let's say you're still on the bed where you were examining him and you managed to get his cock hard. Kneel down between his legs and take his balls in your left hand and his cock in your right. Squeeze his cock gently down toward the bottom of the shaft and get ready to suck. Run your tongue over your lips to get them good and wet and look into his eyes. Men love to watch their cock disappearing into a woman.
Now open your mouth just slightly to tease and excite him and come very close to his cock. Breathe on him, blow on him with your hot breath. Stick your tongue out again and reach for him, tease him. Making sure your tongue is dripping wet, begin at the bottom of his shaft and lick upwards, slowly. Turn your head sideways and pretend to take a bite of him, gently setting your teeth into his flesh. Wet him again with your tongue, use your hand to spread the liquid around. A wet cock looks and sounds a lot sexier than a dry one. Your left-hand meanwhile is massaging his balls, perhaps scratching them lightly with your fingernails. After you've licked his shaft lots of times and it's all wet and hard, he's going to start squirming with frustration if you don't start getting serious. A quick look up at his face will let you know when you're stretching things out too long. Teasing is great . . . to a point. A little experience in cock-sucking will teach you when you need to go on to better things.
On one of your upward swings with your tongue, from the base of his shaft to the rim of his knob, don't stop. Continue your long, wet lick up over the head of his cock, lingering at the hole in the center. Stick your tongue into it, but don't suck the head yet. Now run your tongue all the way around the rim of his knob several times, lingering to work on that sensitive spot on the bottom each time. Ask questions, find out how much he likes for you to work on that spot.
As I said earlier, the shaft of his cock does respond to pressure, and there are a lot of nerve endings when you include all of it. Don't forget that much of the pleasure we derive from sex is in the mind, it's psychological, emotional. When a man feels your warm soft mouth and tongue giving his cock a workout, feels you trying to suck his balls out through it, sees your lips sliding down over it until it fills your mouth, the overall feeling is hard to describe. When you take all of this into account, the deeper the better girls.
Each man is unique and so is his cock. Squeeze the shaft and see if some clear liquid pops up. If it does, dip your tongue into it and pull away. It will stretch with you and look fantastically erotic to him. Now, make like you love the stuff. Close in on that cock head like it was a chocolate ice-cream cone and take the whole knob into your hot mouth. Don't just open your mouth and close it around his cock, sliiide your wet lips down over it until they close around the shaft just behind the corona. Then gently suck on his cock just hard enough to pull a little more of it into your mouth. Sucking on it feels great to him, hold it there, listen to him moan. Now, move your head down quickly, sucking as much of his cock into your mouth as you can comfortable take. Don't worry, you won't choke so long as you don't try to take it in too far, we'll get to suppressing your gag reflex so you can take more of it in later. Encase the rest of the shaft of his cock with your hand. Remember the shaft is relatively insensitive to local stimulation. However, when you close your hand around his cock you give him the sensation of having his whole cock encased and that feels great.
Stay there with his cock filling your mouth. Feel it inside of you. When you get to where you can take it down into your throat, it can be almost as luscious as having one in your cunt. It grows in, uh, on you.
You're going to have to keep your jaws open wide enough to keep your teeth off his cock. When you first start out your jaws are probably going to get tired, it's sort of like sitting in a dentist's chair with your mouth open. You'll get used to it after a while. You can pull your lips back over your teeth for protection and let your jaws rest on his cock from time to time to relax them.
Now try the basic fellatio movements. First, slide your lips back up to the tip of his cock and flick your tongue against it. Try twisting your head from side to side, up and down, and around and around, making sure your moist lips stay in contact with his ridge as they slide around. Keep sucking on it, sometimes gently, sometimes hard. While you're doing this, gently move your moist hand up and down the shaft. He'll be getting antsy now, wanting you to take it all in. Don't let him, if he had his way it'd be over in two minutes and what fun would that be?
Then, moving as fast as he can handle it (don't let him cum yet), hold your hand against your lips and slide your mouth and moist hand up and down on his cock as if you're fucking him. Press your tongue against the bottom of his cock and let it's head slide back and forth between your tongue and the roof of your mouth, watch your teeth. You have to massage the head of his cock, not just the shaft. When he gets close to cuming, get ready for his climax. As he nears his climax, he may try to slide your mouth farther down over his cock. He wants all of his cock in your mouth. Instead, slide your mouth back up to the tip of his cock, working on the corona and sucking on it as you bring him to his climax. You need to feel the response of his cock to his climax in these early lessons.
We've been talking about sucking on his cock, but how do you suck on it? Besides just working on his cock with your lips and tongue when it's in your mouth, you should also be sucking on it any time its head is in front of your tongue (your tongue is what pulls the vacuum so its head has to be in front of your tongue for him to feel it where it counts). Sucking on the head of his cock feels quite different to him from licking it. Not just gentle sucks but strong ones, like you were trying to get something out of it, which you probably are by this time. Be careful though, don't pull a hickey on it. There are deep-sucks and little ones and both feel damn great. He may have a preference however, so watch his reactions. Taking just the knob in your mouth, suck on it as if it were a nipple or a straw while you're moving your mouth around the head with your lips massaging the coronal ridge. This feels so good to the man, it makes my cunt hot just thinking about it. The other suck is a long, sweeping one, where you suck his cock into your mouth as far as you can, and then pull your mouth back off it, sucking on it as if you were sucking the juice off a popsicle.
Any of these moves will feel great the first few times you do them, but after a while, it's as if the cock gets immune to feeling. When you sense this, change what you're doing. You don't want his cock to go to sleep. You want it constantly stimulated as you build him up to orgasm. Which is just about where we are now.
Okay, you've got a raging hard-on in your right hand and some tight balls in your left, lean back for just a moment and take a look at it. It's beautiful, isn't it? Move your right hand all the way to the base of the cock and squeeze it there. This will cause the shaft to fill and thicken, and by now the knob will be smooth and shining. Take his cock back into your mouth, sucking on it and trying out all your various moves until you know the man can't stand any more and he's going to blast off. What you do now is between you and your lover.
As you continue with these lessons, don't forget that sucking his cock should give you pleasure also, don't do it just because he wants you to. It's very important that your man take the time for enough foreplay to get you to the point where you want his cock in you. You'll learn to savor the sensations that come with having his cock in your mouth and throat, you'll enjoy bringing intense pleasure to him and sharing in his climax. As you continue with these lessons, don't get so caught up in the mechanics of bringing him to climax that you miss out on the fun. Suck his cock in a way that feels good to you also. There's no blowjob like a blowjob given by a happy cock-sucker who loves her work.
Can You Take it All in?
As I discussed earlier, it's man's nature to want to thrust his cock into you as far as he can get it, particularly at the moment when he cums. If he wants all of his cock in you, can you take it all in? Do you want to take it all in? Do you even need to take it all in? Well, the length of your mouth from your lips to the back of your throat is three to three and a half inches while the average cock's length is five to five and a half inches. The laws of nature would seem to say that getting all that cock into your mouth is an impossibility. The laws of sex say that you'll want to get all of it in you.
Don't look so sad, I can do it and so can you, you can take as much of his cock into you as you want. You simply take as much of it into your mouth as will fit there, and then slide your throat down over its head until the rest if it is in your mouth and your face is buried in his bush. It's called deep-throating, and when you really get into cock-sucking you'll probably want to do it. The term was made popular by Linda Lovelace in a porno movie in the seventies. She wasn't the first woman to do it by any means. Women have been taking men's cocks down their throats for centuries, she was simply the first to give it the current popular name.
You can give your man fabulous head without using your throat. Remember, most of the action occurs at the head of his cock, taking any more of it into your mouth is simply icing on the cake. You can use your mouth on the head of his cock and your hand on its shaft and put him on cloud nine. Personally, I like the icing and am willing to work for it, I want my face buried in his bush. Although most men will be satisfied with the cake, I've never met one who would turn down the icing. You need to try it to find out if you get any pleasure out of it, if you've given it a good try and simply don't like it, then don't do it, he'll understand.
It's fairly easy to learn to "take it all in." Getting his cock in your throat is easy, getting your throat used to it being in there is what takes the practice. I don't want to be boring, but if you understand the anatomy of your mouth and throat, you'll see how easy it really is to take his hard cock down into your throat. The biggest obstacle to getting it into your throat is usually not the size of either his cock or your throat, it's that sharp bend behind your tongue at the entrance to your throat, you know the one your doctor uses a mirror to see around while he presses your tongue down with that stick. Stand in front of a wall mirror and use a hand mirror to get a good side view of your head and neck. Open your mouth wide, tilt your head as far back as you can and see how your open mouth almost lines up with your neck, that bend is almost gone. Check out your guy's cock, feel how flexible it really is, especially the end of it. Look at the shape of its head, no problem to slide it around that curve.
A little more anatomy, yours this time. The length of your mouth, oral cavity, is three to three and a half inches from your lips to what I'm going to call the back of your throat, its that vertical part of your throat that you see when you look in a mirror. Your trachea, the tube to your lungs, is at the front of your neck, you can feel it with your fingers. Your esophagus, the tube to your stomach, is behind the trachea. Your throat, which is vertical and about four inches long, connects your mouth to your esophagus in a straight line. When you take anything into your mouth, your tongue rises against the rear part of the roof of your mouth, the soft pallet with its attached uvula, to close off your throat. When you swallow, your tongue whips backwards and shoots whatever is in your mouth down your throat and into your esophagus. There's an opening in the front side of your throat that leads into the larynx, the entrance to your trachea. The larynx has a flap or lid, epiglottis, that closes off the larynx to prevent anything from entering your trachea, like his cum, when you swallow. The larynx also contains your vocal cords. This arrangement lets his cock slide from your mouth down to the bottom of your throat without entering your larynx or disturbing your vocal cords.
Your throat is about two inches wide at its entrance, a little less from front to back as it passes behind the larynx. It's somewhat bigger in diameter than the average cock. The entrance into your esophagus from your throat is only about one inch in diameter, so his cock won't go into your esophagus. This lets you take slide your mouth and throat down over a cock about seven or so inches long and an inch and a half or so in diameter until your lips are pressed against his groin and have the head of it just pressing against the bottom of your throat. It makes a nice fit, your guy's cock will just about fill your mouth and throat, you'll like the feel of it filling you up.
Practice, Practice, Practice
You should do some homework before you try to deep-throat a real live cock. I don't like to get into technical discussions about anything as pleasurable and emotional as sex, however, I don't want you to run into any unpleasant surprises that will turn you off before you experience the pleasures of deep-throating. You'll need to learn some simple details that'll help you overcome your gag reflex and control your breathing before the pleasures of deep-throating can really be enjoyed.
Probably one of the first things you encountered when you started sucking his cock was a gag reflex when it went too far in. It's the natural tendency of your body to gag when a foreign object, such as a deeply thrusting cock, is sliding down into your throat. With practice you can learn to control your gag reflex. The next thing to learn is how to relax your tongue so you can slide his cock past it and down into your throat. You also have to learn to control your tongue during the entire time you're deep-throating.
There's really not much learning involved. You've already gotten used to having his cock in your mouth, now all you have to do is get used to having it in your throat. Get a soft, flexible dildo of the proper size so you can practice with it in private at your leisure, the solid jellies are the most comfortable. Get what's called a "double dong" so that you'll have something straight with enough length to hold on to, one and a quarter inches in diameter and ten inches long is a good size to start with. Most cocks are not much bigger in diameter and you need one this long to find out how much cock you can take. If your guy's cock is bigger in diameter, then get a bigger one after you've mastered the one and a quarter. Depending on the size and shape of your throat, you may be able to breathe slowly through your mouth, maybe your nose, after you get the dildo past your pallet and down into your throat a ways. Otherwise, learn to time your breathing with the in and out strokes of the dildo.
If you don't have any adverse reaction to the medicine, dissolve one or two Cepacol or equivalent sore throat lozenges in your mouth about fifteen minutes before you start to practice with the dildo. They'll mildly anesthetize your throat and may eliminate the gag reflex until you get used to having it in your throat. Be careful though and don't get too aggressive with the dildo when your throat is anesthetized or you could bruise the lining at the back without feeling it.
Now that you know what you're pushing it into, open your mouth and slowly slide the dildo in as far as you can without gaging. Hold it there, breathing normally, until you're comfortable with it in your mouth. When you put something in your mouth, you begin to salivate. It's difficult to swallow the saliva with the dildo in your mouth, it'll interfere with your tongue as it tries to drive things out of your mouth and down your throat. You can go through the motions of swallowing with the dildo in your mouth but you probably won't swallow much if it's in very far. If you get the urge to swallow, do it, it won't hurt anything and you won't really swallow the dildo, or his cock if that's what you're working on at the time. For most women, swallowing can suppress the gag reflex, so practice swallowing with the dildo in your mouth, starting with it just past your teeth continuing until it's all the way down your throat. Try swallowing when you get his cock in your throat, it feels good to him.
If your head is tilted back, the saliva will run down your throat and interfere with your breathing so you'll have to take the dildo out and clear your mouth and throat from time to time. Try sliding the dildo in a little farther. By now you've probably got it to the point where you'll start to gag. When you feel like you're going to gag, try swallowing, this usually stops the gag. If it doesn't, pull the dildo out and relax. Now slide it slowly back in until you feel the gag reflex again, pull it back out a little, swallow and push it back in. Play with it with your tongue, feel how it fits in your mouth. Learn get your tongue to come down from the roof of your mouth at the rear when you have the dildo in there. You'll have to get it down before you can get the dildo to go down into your throat. Stick your tongue out as far as you can between your teeth and the dildo. This will pull your tongue down, all you have to do is get used to keeping it down. Play some music, read a book, watch TV, just get used to it being in there. Suck on it, work on it like it was a big piece of stick candy. When you get used to it being in that far, slide it in further. Keep going, a little at a time, until it comes up against the back of your throat. As it nears the back of your throat, it'll begin to close off the passage to your nose and interfere with your normal breathing. You can probably breathe through your mouth so try that. If you can't, then take a deep breath, slide it in and hold it there until you need to take another breath, take it out, breathe and slide it back in. Keep practicing with the dildo until you're comfortable with it in your mouth, your tendency to gag is gone and you can keep your tongue down.
Once you're used to the dildo being all the way in your mouth, the next step is to get it down into your throat. To do this you'll have to get it "around the corner." Tilt your head back so that your mouth and throat lie almost in a straight line and try to slide it in further. Try tilting your head back and forth while you're sliding it in. You'll be able to feel the improvement this makes. There's also a vertical ridge in the back of your throat. The dildo will slip to one side or the other of this ridge as you continue to push in on it. You can twist it around to make it go one way or the other. If one side begins to feel uncomfortable, use the other.
In the beginning, the best way to get it "around the corner" and down into your throat isn't to just push it but to literally inhale it. This is also easier on the back of your throat. Put the dildo all the way in your mouth and fold your tongue up around it to make a seal, hold your nose, and, while pushing in on it, inhale hard using your lungs to suck it around the corner, it'll go easily as your lungs pull it down into your throat. You may be able to inhale it by simply inhaling quickly and deeply. You'll have to limit how deep a breath you take before you try to inhale it though. Once you get it around the corner, it'll just slide on down. With practice, you'll probably be able to simply slide it in your mouth and on down to the bottom of your throat with one smooth stroke, but inhaling it is sort of fun sometimes. When you push the dildo, or his cock, into your throat, it wants to stop against the back of your throat. As you push harder, it suddenly breaks loose and sort of pops down into your throat, after that it slides on down almost as easily as it went into your mouth.
Don't try to slide it all the way down your throat at first, just get it around the corner. If you can breathe with the dildo in your throat, great, open that book back up, otherwise, when you need to breathe, pull the dildo back out, take a deep breath, slide it back in and then open the book up. While it's in there, move it in and out some, twist it around. If you feel that you're going to gag, try swallowing or pull back on the dildo, it'll pop right out. If you do gag or cough with it still in your throat, don't worry, it won't hurt anything. Pull it out, relax, then try it again.
After you get the dildo down in your throat, it doesn't make much difference how you hold your head. It'll feel more comfortable in some positions and will have some effect on your breathing but nothing major. With your head held back, your saliva will run down your throat and interfere with your breathing. If you sit upright and are breathing through your mouth, it'll drool out of your mouth. The most comfortable position is probably sitting upright in a chair with a head rest, breathing through your mouth with a towel under your chin.
After your throat gets used to it being in that far, slide it in further and hold it there for a while. Continue sliding it down into your throat one step at a time, holding it after each step to swallow and relax your throat. Continue this pattern until you've got it in about four or five inches. If your throat starts to feel sore or just doesn't like for the dildo to be in there, stop and try it again the next day. Don't feel discouraged, these details will soon become second nature and you won't even realize you're doing them. Remember, you're practicing with the dildo so that one evening, when you're busily working away on his cock, you can look up at him, smile, and, with one smooth movement, bury your face in his bush. Look forward to taking his cock into your throat, it'll feel good there, not foreign like the dildo. It's much softer and will enter your throat without any discomfort.
Most of the time, you'll want to breathe through your nose when you've got his cock in your mouth. Find out where the dildo begins to block the breathing passage from your nose to your throat. It'll be at the point where the dildo pushes back on your soft pallet and uvula as it begins to enter your throat. Slide it in and out, blocking and uncovering your breathing passage, until you can readily find the location. The soft palate, which closes off your throat from your nose, may tend to stay closed as you withdraw the dildo, especially if you're trying to exhale at the same time, you'll get used to controlling this.
You'll soon get to the point where you can stroke the dildo in and out from your teeth well down into your throat and wiggle it around in your throat without getting the urge to gag on it. Now, slide it on down and find out how much cock you can really take. As it slides past the entrance to your trachea you may get a choking response and cough, like you had taken some water down the wrong way. Just pull it back out and relax, then put it back in and play around in that area until your throat gets used to it. If the choking response doesn't ease up, take it out and try it again the next day. When you feel any significant resistance or discomfort, probably around seven or so inches, stop, you've hit your bottom line. Set the limit of the size cock you'll allow anyone to shove into your throat about an inch short of that point, plenty of room to take the average cock all the way in. On one of your practice strokes, take a deep breath and keep the dildo almost to the bottom of your throat for a while, sliding it in and out using one or two inch strokes at about one stroke a second, getting the bottom of your throat used to his climax.
As you practice with the dildo, develop a breathing rhythm. Stop with the dildo just clear of your throat, take a deep breath and hold it. Then, push the dildo into your throat, sliding it all the way to the bottom in one smooth motion and hold it there until you feel the need to exhale. Smoothly withdraw the dildo until it just clears your breathing passage, stop, quickly exhale and inhale, hold your breath and take the dildo all the way back in. Wait until you need to take another breath and repeat the cycle. Do this until the breathing cycle becomes second nature without even thinking about. It won't take long to learn. If you practice every day for about ten or fifteen minutes, you'll have it down into your throat in less than a week. Another week of fifteen or twenty minutes a day and you'll be comfortably stroking it down to the bottom of your throat.
The Real Thing
It's hard to separate deep-throating and throat (face) fucking. Throat fucking is simply an extension of deep-throating, so we'll discuss some things together. One of the best positions to practice deep-throating with a real live cock is to kneel in front of him with your head tilted back while he's standing. The most restful position, and the one you should use when you first start, is with him sitting up slightly in bed while you kneel between his legs with your head tilted back.
The size and shape of most cocks is normally not a problem for deep-throating, you can guide it with your hands if you have to and can normally relax enough to handle some pretty big ones, but it's a different matter for throat fucking. A big cock can be a curse. As we discussed in the last anatomy lesson, if it's much over one and three quarter inches in diameter it's going to take some lady to let him fuck her throat with that. Anything much over one and a half inches can present difficulties for the average woman. If it's seven inches or more in length, watch out, he could injure the lower end of your throat and your esophagus since a cock won't fit into your esophagus and he'll have a tendency to bottom it.
Although curved ones can be fun to play with, the curve of his cock can sometimes present a problem. When you were examining his cock, which way was it curved? Lay him on his back and work up a good hard-on for him. Which way is it pointing? Most guys' cocks will curve slightly up toward their head or point straight to the ceiling. If his does then he'll probably be able to slide it home without any problems. A nice curve in the upward direction can be a perfect fit for man on top 69, now that I think of it, it fits nicely in my cunt too. It's the downward curve that's a problem. If it curves down very much, he may not be able to throat fuck in the 69 position as his cock will tend to bend instead of sliding in. You would have to guide it in with your hands on each stroke. It would be fine though if you were kneeling in front of him where he could hold your head with his hands and fuck away.
Let's get on with deep-throating. By now, with your practice with the dildo, you should be able to slide your mouth and throat down over his cock until your lips are buried in his bush without getting the urge to gag and work it around in the bottom of your throat for as long as you can hold your breath. If you can breathe with it in your throat, you should be able to slide your throat up and down on his cock until you simply get tired of doing it or he cums or something.
You'll have to polish up on timing your breathing since you'll have to interact with a man now. Just as with the dildo, you may be able to breathe some with his cock down into your throat, but maybe not all the way in, . . . if only I could. It'd be wonderful just to lie there with my mouth and throat full of that luscious cock, working it around, picking at his balls and bush with my lips . . . oh well. If you're kneeling over him or in front of him then it's easy to time as you have complete control, remember, you're sliding your throat over his cock, he's not thrusting his cock into your throat.
If he's in a position where he can thrust his cock into your throat, establish some signals for each other. The simplest ones are for you to place your hands on his hips and, in effect, pull his cock into and push it out of your mouth. Since you're just starting to learn to deep-throat, choose a position where you have complete control, him sitting up slightly in bed with you kneeling between his legs is a good one. Now, suck his cock about halfway into your mouth and hold it there, working on it a little, while you relax and find the most comfortable way to continue. When you're relaxed, start slowly taking it in further. Just as it begins to block your breathing, stop and relax again. When you're ready, take a deep breath through your nose and hold it. Now, slowly slide your mouth and then your throat on down over his cock, use your lungs to inhale its head "around the corner" if you need to but try to push your throat over it first. Once its head has popped into your throat, your throat will simply slide on down over his cock, be careful and don't bump your nose on his pelvic bone. Unless his cock is really big, it'll go into your throat easier than the dildo. Also, it won't irritate the back of your throat. If it's big enough, you won't have to use your tongue or hold your nose to inhale it into your throat.
Sticking your tongue out between your teeth and his cock to get the back of it down out of the way is the key to pushing the entrance to your throat over his cock without inhaling it, If everything is going your way, you'll be able to push it around the corner and bury your face in his bush in one smooth motion without having to inhale it. It'll make deep-throating, especially throat fucking, more enjoyable if his cock will simply slide all the way in, from your teeth to the bottom of your throat, in one smooth stroke. There'll probably always be a slight hesitation as his cock pops around the corner and starts down into your throat, but that tends to feel good anyway. You'll probably find him playing around back there, rubbing his coronal ridge back and forth through that restriction into your throat.
How far in is all the way in? As your lips get near his groin, you may find his balls getting in the way. The front of his scrotum is attached to the bottom of his cock, a little way out from his body. How far out depends on the man. To really get his cock all the way in with your face buried in his bush and your lips pressed against his groin, you may have to take some of his scrotum into your mouth along with it. His balls hang loose inside the scrotum so you can slide your mouth on down over the front part of his scrotum leaving his balls outside, you may not even notice it. When you are just stroking your throat back and forth over his cock and his orgasm hasn't started yet or you are not really hot yet, you probably don't want to take in much of his scrotum. Save the full thrusts for those times when he is cuming or you really want to feel all of it in you with your mouth and face pressed tight against his groin or just want to play around. All the way in is when his cock is tilted down slightly to get it away from his pelvic bone and your lips are pressed tightly between his groin and your teeth.
Once his cock is all the way in, hold it there, you want to get used to the sexuality of having all of it in you. Let your passions rise, feel your nipples harden and the juices start to flow in your cunt as you get caught up in the intimacy of giving head. Did you know you could smile with a mouth full of cock? When it starts to feel good, look up at him and try it, it'll show in your eyes and cheeks and the corners of your mouth. When you need to exhale, slide your throat back up off his cock, quickly exhaling and inhaling just as it clears, then slide all the way back down over his cock again and stop. Keep repeating the cycle, pausing at the bottom of his cock each time. As you begin to enjoy it and really get into the rhythm, start to play around with his cock while you're down at the root of it. Move your head back and forth and around and around, working your throat over the head of his cock. Feel that luscious cock pulsing and throbbing as you work it around in your mouth and throat. These are the basics of deep-throating, remember, practice makes perfect so don't forget to do your homework.
Now that you've mastered deep-throating, you need to carefully consider whether or not you want to get into throat fucking. It's not for everyone, and it's not the same as deep-throating. Deep-throating is you sliding your throat down over his cock when the urge strikes you during, or as a finishing touch to, good head. When a man wants you to give him head, he's in a passive mood. He wants to lie back and enjoy it to the fullest and looks forward with eager anticipation to those times when you bury your face in his bush. Throat fucking is allowing a man to take charge and thrust his cock in and out of your throat in a way that's pleasing to both of you. Although the motions are similar, it's not the same as fucking your cunt. All too often, throat fucking ends up allowing a man to take control and use your throat for a vagina, which I don't particularly care for. I've got a perfectly good cunt that I like to use for that. If a man isn't interested in the subtleties of throat fucking and just wants to treat your throat like a cunt, he's liable to be in an aggressive mood and wants to shove his cock into something new. Let him find someone else to abuse.
But then life is full of apparent contradictions. Sometimes I want my lover to really fuck my throat. I want long quick thrusts of his cock deep into my throat with his groin coming up against my face each time he shoves his cock into me. I do dearly love man on top 69 with my lover, whom I trust completely. thrusting his throbbing cock in and out of my throat with long deep strokes at one end while he's passionately eating my pussy out at the other end. Sometimes, when his cock thrusts into my throat and tongue thrusts into my cunt are together, it feels like they are going to meet somewhere in the middle of my body. At times like that I completely surrender myself to him, becoming caught up in pure passion, my face and pussy rising to meet each stroke. But this isn't really a contradiction, it's an example of mutual trust and respect for each other. He knows how hard to thrust. He's not just using me for his sexual satisfaction, he's satisfying my sexual desires of the moment. He's deriving his pleasure as much through providing me with great sexual pleasure as he is by satisfying his own sexual desires.
When you deep-throat a man, you suck his cock into your mouth and slide your throat down over it in a way that excites him and is also comfortable and pleasurable to you. When you engage in throat fucking, you let him thrust his cock into your mouth and down into your throat in a way that's pleasurable to him and still acceptable and pleasurable to you. The two activities are not the same. It's not enough that you learn how to accept his cock during throat fucking. He has to learn how to control and direct his cock also. If you don't trust him completely, simply don't let him get on top of you and fuck your throat! Until you build up this trust, you'll never be able to relax enough to let him thrust his cock down into your throat in a way that gives you any pleasure. It will also take a significant amount of practice for him to develop a smooth straight thrust, especially if you move your head while he's thrusting. Until the two of you learn to synchronize your movements, expect to see a lot of bent cocks. It's not that stiff and if it's not pushed in straight it'll bend, don't worry, it'll straighten out. He also has to learn to control the intensity of his thrusts, how he pushes his cock around the corner, how hard he brings his groin up against your face.
Remember how a man responds during his climax when he's fucking you, it's his nature to thrust his cock into your cunt deep and hard, especially as he near his climax. There's nothing wrong with this, he needs to get his sperm near your uterus to fertilize your egg. Most women like it and urge the man on, raising their cunts to meet his thrusts. The pelvic area of both is designed for this and it doesn't hurt either. However, your face and throat are not designed for this. Hard thrusts can bruise your lips and nose and injure the back of your throat.
Before you start practicing throat fucking, you'll have to decide what position you want to be in. When he's fucking your throat, you have to hold your head still and push against him as he pushes his cock into your throat and that can be tiring. He can stand with you kneeling in front of him with your head tilted back, this gives you the most control since you can use your hands to push his hips back and pull your head back. However, unless you can lean forward enough, he may have to hold your head with his hands to help you push against him so that he can thrust his cock down into your throat without tiring you, but that can be sensual for both of you. 69 is probably not the best one to start with, but it may be the best with him on top when both of you are comfortable with throat fucking. One problem with throat fucking in the 69 position is that he has a hard time keeping his mind on fucking you and sucking you at the same time. Don't worry about his problems though, just lie there and enjoy being eaten and fucked at the same time.
Lying on the bed with your head tilted sharply back over the edge is comfortable for you. It lines up your mouth and throat and his cock better than other positions and provides support for your head so you don't have to push back against his thrusts. He can straddle your face and easily slide his cock all the way in, but it's a little harder for you to control the thrusts of his cock since you won't be able to pull your head back. However, once you really get into it in this position, you can grab his butt and pull his groin up against your lips and just lie there for a while enjoying his balls on your nose, his bush tickling your chin and his cock deep in your throat, don't forget to breathe though. This position, which is similar to 69, in addition to being very erotic to the man visually and psychologically, also feels nice to him as the bottom of his coronal ridge rubs against the back of your throat as he strokes it in and out.
Once you're ready for him, close your lips around his cock and let him push it about half way into your mouth. You'll probably be nervous now so play around with it some and relax. When you're relaxed, signal him to start. Now he begins to slowly slide his cock deeper and deeper into your mouth. As the head of his cock nears the entrance to your throat, signal him to stop. Rest in this position, playing with his cock with your tongue until you are relaxed and ready for him to shove it home. Then, taking a deep breath, flatten your tongue out under his cock and signal him to slide it slowly on down into your throat. Inhale it around the corner if you have to, but try to let him push it around and then on down deeper and deeper until he's got the whole thing buried in you. Although the feel of his cock in your throat will be the same, the sensations of him thrusting it into your throat will be far different from those you experienced when you were sliding your throat down over it, it really turns me on.
Hold him against your face until you need to take a breath, then signal him to withdraw his cock far enough for you to breathe freely. Let him hold it there while you breathe normally and relax again. Then, take a deep breath signaling him to slide his cock back down to the bottom of your throat and hold it there until you need to take a breath. Keep doing this until he can sense when needs to pull his cock out for you to exhale and when you've filled your lungs and are ready for another stroke, gradually increasing the nature and speed of his stroke from a slide to a thrust until you begin to feel uncomfortable with it. Then let him pull it up out of your throat and almost all the way out of your mouth and then thrust it right back in without pausing, stroking its head from your teeth to the bottom of your throat in one motion. Use the time between when his cock clears your throat on the way out and before it starts back into your throat again to quickly exhale and inhale. Let him increase the speed of his thrusts until it interferes with your breathing. Once you're comfortable with him stroking his cock back and forth between your teeth and the bottom of your throat, take a deep breath and let him use short quick strokes just popping the hea
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CONTINUOUS MALE ORGASMS
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Posted:Apr 17, 2017 2:58 pm
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2024 5:6 am
4195 Views
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CONTINUOUS MALE ORGASMS
Several years ago I learned that by getting extremely close to the threshold of ejaculatory inevitability, then halting all stimulation, then getting "close" again repeatedly, I would achieve a continuous plateau stage with frequent partial orgasms. The resultant intensity of pleasure is possibly one half that felt in a full ejaculatory orgasm but potentially unending. Furthermore, the associated sexual organs exercise, and the learned ability to better control those organs mentally, has greatly increased the scope and persuasiveness of my sexual pleasure. It is my opinion that I have learned to enhance and maintain indefinitely the physical events and associated pleasure of an absolutely imminent ejaculatory orgasm. Feelings of pleasure are augmented by greater loin vasocongestion, and sexual organ fluid fullness and readiness. The following discussion attempts to teach men how to achieve a continuous orgasm, and to explain the physiological basis of this phenomenon.
My discovery of the continuous orgasm was accidental, but recounting the event may help others separate their orgasm and ejaculatory experiences. The first time I experienced the potential of this technique I was masturbating while stoned on pot. Stimulation to my penis felt somewhat dulled. I got close to cumming but sensed that my orgasm was going to be weak, so I stopped all stimulation, knowing that I could build up to a better orgasm. When I was able to resume penile stimulation I noticed the pleasure of touching my penis was greater...so I came close to cumming again and again...and it felt better and better. Possibly five "close calls" later, my prostate had swollen and my seminal vesicles hardened and discharged but no semen flowed into my urethra. Pot seems to broaden the threshold between my orgasm emissions phase and the ejaculatory reflex. Intense pleasure emanated from my testes, which were swollen and drawn under the tissue aside my penis. Possibly forty minutes into this routine my loin muscles began to ache, so I proceeded to the most intensely pleasurable orgasm and high quantity ejaculation I had ever had! Long afterward my loins continued to radiate an enjoyable ache. I had given all my sexual organ muscles a hearty exercising. I eagerly anticipated my next masturbation session, with delay dictated by my need to reload with semen.
I no longer use, nor do I advocate the use of pot because of its damaging effect on the lungs. Possibly marijuana brownies will do the trick. Again, pot use helped me control and broaden the threshold of ejaculatory inevitability, thus facilitating the learning of the continuous orgasm. Pot use also has a strong aphrodisiac effect when I entertained myself in this pre-ejaculation orgasm stage. Feelings of pleasure (sex munchies) are enhanced. For several months, without pot, I rarely achieved intense orgasm feelings without eliciting a few spasmodic pumping throbs and ejaculating small amounts of seminal fluid. With practice though, use of pot is not necessary to enjoy an orgasm without ejaculation. Practice results in discoveries of higher degrees of sexual pleasure and sensations, so it is easy to exercise!
At this point I would like to discuss the physiology of the male ejaculatory orgasm. Reference books describe the event in stages involving sexual organ vasocongestion, rising to the plateau stage, then the orgasm which consists of internal sexual organ emissions and the ejaculation reflex response. Actually, events beyond the plateau phase can be broken into many additional stages. My first sensations come from my testes, which draw up into my body. When men first sense the arrival of their orgasm, those feelings emanate from the epididymis and the spermatic cords which contract and spasm to move sperm up the ductus (vas) deferns into the ampullary gland or ampulla. The ampulla filling with sperm accentuates sexual stimulation pleasure. Continued penile stimulation soon triggers a hardening of the seminal vesicles which discharge fluid into the ampulla then into the ejaculatory ducts. Sufficient pressure quickly builds in the ejaculatory ducts to trigger a hardening of the prostate, which discharges directly into the urethra. Ejaculation is inevitable once the prostate hardens. Finally, the valves at the ends of the ejaculatory ducts open simultaneously with the initiation of the ejaculation reflex. Semen discharged from the penis comes in a distinct sequence of partially mixed emissions: 1.prostatic fluid (10 ; 2. sperm (5 and ampullary gland fluid (10; 3. seminal fluid (70 and again; 4. prostatic fluid (5.
Note that there are valves at the ends of the ejaculatory ducts and that fluids pressure triggers the ejaculation reflex. I evidently orgasm and discharge sperm, ampullary gland, and seminal vesicle fluid into the ejaculatory ducts without triggering ejaculation or the opening those valves. I have trained myself to lock the ejaculatory duct valves closed during these emissions. The key is WHEN YOU GET VERY CLOSE TO EJACULATORY INEVITABILITY COMPLETELY RELAX ALL SEXUAL ORGAN MUSCLES, AND CEASE STIMULATION TO THE PENIS. This muscle relaxation locks the ejaculatory ducts valves closed, even as the seminal vesicles proceed to harden and discharge. Ampullary gland fluid, sperm and seminal fluid pressure builds behind the duct valves. Stopping stimulation to the penis halts the orgasmic emissions pressure driven progression to the ejaculation reflex.
With experience and exercise, I have raised the pressure level required to trigger the ejaculation reflex response. I sense exactly how much more pressure can build before crossing the threshold to ejaculatory inevitability. My orgasms are stronger and ultimately continuous without triggering ejaculation. My seminal vesicles harden right after I have nearly cum; hence they are almost constantly hard and discharging. My prostate swells without hardening, currently to about just half as much during a full ejaculatory orgasm. Every approach to ejaculation increases the amount of fluid held in the ampulla, with an associated increase in pleasure and passion of sexual readiness.
The presence of sperm, ampullary gland, and seminal fluid in my ejaculatory ducts is evidenced sensations I can produce after nearly cumming. Shortly after ceasing stimulation I can contract my bulbospongiosus muscle and thereby press on my prostate and feel the fluids being pushed back up into the ampulla and seminal vesicles. This feeling of fluid movement and fullness is very pleasurable. I can stop masturbating, and hours (days) later still feel the semen in my loins eager for release. My testes also feel full and are slightly sensitive to jostling.
Notice my descriptions of the physical changes to internal sexual organs that occur during an orgasm and ejaculation. By placing a middle finger into your rectum the hardening of the seminal vesicles and prostate can be palpitated digitally. Softly massaging the prostate and ampulla when they are gorged from orgasmic filling is pleasurable. The ampullary gland is the triangular organ, point facing downward, that lies just above the prostate.
Four final observations can be made. First, it seems that over time my sexual organs and/or testes are producing more sperm. I easily cum twice daily (at 41 years old), and after just 48 hours of abstinence fluids build up to a sense of fullness that demands release. That sense of fullness comes from my testes. Secondly, I can generate a strong feeling of sexual excitement mentally at will. I am able to elicit a feeling of sexual rush at will, by mentally inducing contractions in my epididymis and spermatic cord causing sperm movement up my ductus (vas) deferens. The sperm rising to fill my ampullary gland raises my level of sexual excitement. My scrotum and spermatic cords move my testes around when I generate these pleasure sensations. Thirdly, I an now working on maintaining orgasms without stimulation to my penis. Once a high degree of fluid pressure has accumulated behind the ejaculatory ducts valves, I can induce contractions in my epididymis and spermatic cord thereby generate sexual stimulation. This stimulation maintains my continuous orgasm and can trigger the ejaculatory reflex. Finally, my forth observation is that the ability to enjoy orgasms while delaying ejaculation makes me a better lover. I am in no hurry, my partner is excited by my level of readyness and periodic dry penile throbs. I am satisfied and concentrate on giving pleasure.
PRACTICE GUIDE TO THE CONTINUOUS MALE ORGASM
Learn to enhance and maintain indefinitely the physiological events and associated pleasure of the emissions phase of an absolutely imminent ejaculatory orgasm! Just follow this step-by-step practice guide:
I. "STOP AND GO" MASTURBATING
When you begin to feel an orgasms approach, cease all penile stimulation. Let your level of excitement drop slightly, then approach another orgasm. Repeat this "stop and go" approach to an orgasm at least five times. Notice that stimulation to your penis feels better and better. On the sixth approach bear down hard with your bulbospongiosus (piss stopper) muscle but slow down your stroking as you reach the point of no return. The reduced stimulation to the penis permits the pleasure of sexual organ emissions drive you to the full ejaculatory orgasm. Notice the increased volume and intensity of your orgasm.
GOALS:
Learn to resist the temptation of the orgasm; just as your penis feels really great to stroke...stop. You will discover that the avoidance of immediate pleasure will bring greater pleasure.
Strengthen your sexual organ muscles.
Increase your mental control over orgasms.
Learn to measure the approach of your orgasm.
Feel the emissions phase as separate from the ejaculatory phase of an orgasm.
II. RECTAL MONITOR
Practice the Stop and Go technique. When you are ready to orgasm lube up your middle finger and stick it up your butt! Feel around your prostate (walnut sized organ one inch past your anus) then put your finger all the way in, past the prostate. With your finger probing above the prostate proceed to orgasm.
GOALS:
Learn how good it feels to massage your prostate and ampullary gland. Feel how your internal sex organs harden during an orgasm. The ampullary gland is felt when hard as triangular just above the prostate. The seminal vesicles are the firm cords running down into the ampullary gland.
III. RELAXATION WHEN CLOSE:
Practice Stop and Go approaches to an orgasm, but try to get a little closer to the point of no return. When you get close, stop stroking your penis and completely relax all sex muscles. Concentrate especially on relaxing your bulbospongiosus (piss stopper) muscle. Let your level of excitement drop, but less so, before resuming the approach to another orgasm. Relax completely each time you are near an orgasm and stop sexual stimulation. Notice that relaxation helps to extinguish the orgasm feelings.
GOALS:
Learn to resist the lure of an orgasm which is now closer. You must relax just when your piss stopper muscle would naturally bear down, and stop stroking just when it feel really good.
Learn to more quickly resume penile stimulation after stopping.
Learn to get closer and closer to ejaculatory inevitability without passing that threshold.
IV. CLOSE RELAX CLOSE RELAX SO CLOSE
Build up your level of sexual excitement first with at least five stop and go sessions, then try to get REAL CLOSE to an orgasm and RELAX all sex organ muscles. Get so close that you would have triggered an orgasm if you had not become fully relaxed. Your mission is continue to feel the orgasms approach for a few seconds even though you are not stimulating your penis. The lure to stroke yourself is very strong at this point but resist! With practice you will briefly enter the sex organs emissions phase without ejaculating. Relaxing will suppress your ejaculatory reflex response and help keep semen retained behind the ejaculatory ducts valves. Semen pressure will build in the ampullary gland. A soft finger massage of the prostate and ampullary gland once they are gorged from emissions is pleasurable.
GOALS:
Learn to resist the lure of an orgasm you have actually begun. The temptation to continue stroking yourself is very strong at this point. Practice this exercise until you enter the emissions phase fully relaxed. Your seminal vesicles will harden and discharge into your ampullary gland, but no fluid will leak into your urethra.
Observe how much better penile stimulation feels when your sex organs are gorged with sperm, ampullary gland, and seminal fluids.
V. SEMINAL VESICLES HARD FIVE TIMES
Build up sexual tension with several close stop and go's, then proceed to approach the threshold of the ejaculatory reflex. Be careful to cease stimulation and relax fully just as you begin to enter the emissions phase of your orgasm. Sometimes at this point your seminal vesicles will harden. Let your excitement wane, then come close to the point of no return again. Practice reaching the ejaculatory reflex threshold so that you harden your seminal vesicles at least five times. Semen will accumulate each time the seminal vesicles harden. Now contract your bulbospongiosus (piss stopper) muscle and feel semen push back up into the ampullary gland...FEELS GOOD! Notice the increased quantity of semen ejaculated when you finally cum.
GOALS:
Build up semen pressure behind your ejaculatory ducts valves.
Manipulate the fluid in your internal sex organs.
Learn to harden your seminal vesicle without causing penile contractions or leaking semen.
VI. RESIST THE ULTIMATE TEMPTATION
Gorge your internal sex organs with semen, reaching seminal vesicle hardening at least five times then stop...take out the trash or something. Be careful to protect your tender balls. Let your level of excitement drop completely, then resume the seminal vesicle hardening.
Be very careful to build up your excitement slowly with a few stop and go's before attempting a seminal vesicle hardening. Proceeding too fast can cause uncomfortable leakage of semen.
GOALS:
Learn how much excitement is required before attempting a seminal vesicle hardening.
Stop your masturbation session for at least two hours. You will be totally horny. Resist the lure! Try to spend one night with your sex organs gorged.
Gain complete control of when you have an ejaculatory orgasm.
VII. SO CLOSE CONTINUOUSLY
Build up to five seminal vesicle hardenings, relax and fill your ejaculatory ducts, then contract your piss stopper muscle and push the semen up into your ampullary gland.
Get as close to your ejaculatory orgasm as you can without crossing the reflex response threshold. Now practice close-relax-harden-contract, and again close-relax-harden-contract repeatedly, in rapid succession. Ultimately, you will enter a state of nearly continuous relaxed muscle orgasm emission phases. Your swollen testes and throbbing spermatic cords will orgasm. Orgasm emission pleasure from your ampullary gland are amplified by the accumulating fluid and especially fluid pressure in your ejaculatory ducts. The rapid succession of emissions orgasms becomes a continuous orgasm with ejaculation.
GOALS:
Learn to harden your seminal vesicles at will.
Learn to harden your seminal vesicles in rapid succession.
Practice staying very close to an ejaculatory orgasm, almost continuously feeling a hardening of your seminal vesicles.
Hold your orgasm at the continuous emissions phase endlessly.
Learn to maintain your emissions orgasm mentally; by concentrating on producing emissions, enough pleasure can be generated to perpetuate those emissions...without penile stimulation!
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How To Eat a Pussy!
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Posted:Mar 19, 2017 6:41 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2017 5:47 am
5353 Views
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Special Cunnilingus Techniques and Secrets
The best part of sex, in my far-from-humble opinion, is the pleasure you can cause in your partner(s).
While being stimulated by your partner is certainly far better (for most people, if their partner's any good at it) than masturbation, it is still pretty much the same, only better.
Going down on a lover, on the other hand, allows you to get a kind of pleasure that you cannot give yourself, even in part; the vicarious or empathic response you get from their reactions.
The techniques here, therefore, are centered around cunnilingus, including (since there's no separate name) using your fingers. Along a similar line I've now written Advanced Fellatio Techniques and Secrets. This was learned as a subject, not performer, but with the same quality of skill involved. Because of the number of questions I received on the subject, I also have Advanced Anal Sex Techniques, for those who want to know about that.
Basic Guidelines:
"Less" is always the best way to start out if you don't know exactly what a specific person likes. It's much safer to build up from "not enough" than to try to back down after shattering the mood by being too rough. The final argument to ensure that you always apply this rule is this -- If you start out "too" gentle/slowly, in most cases this just excites your lover more, even in the rare cases that it frustrates her a little. But if you start out "too" rough for her, it almost always turns her off to the whole thing.
The differences between women cannot be emphasized enough -- no matter what you have encountered so far, always assume that you have no idea what a new partner enjoys. It is entirely possible to have had many lovers, and think
A. They are all pretty much the same or
B. You've learned all of the variations, and can tell who's what.
But this can be (and usually is) just a matter of random chance...you happened to get several similar lovers. Eventually you will run into someone, or many people, who are completely different than those you've known before.
Don't start by going down on her. Work your way up to it. Exceptions may be if you're in a hurry before your Press Secretary shows up, or other situations where you're expected to act more directly. It's worth observing that "work your way up to it" remains true no matter how many times you've been with that lover. With a long-term lover it may seem like you can get right to the direct stuff, but working your way up still has the same effect of increasing her excitement, with most women.
Along the same line of reasoning, don't start licking her clitoris immediately, when you do get there. Start with the area around it, which can be pretty sensitive with some women, even if it doesn't seem to cause the same dramatic response.
Even more important is to not immediately start inserting fingers in her vagina. With most women, that really needs to be built up, first. It usually doesn't hurt to build up a little, even if she's already excited.
Remember this -- Most often, the tongue works best with the clitoris, the fingers with the vagina/g-spot. Someone else's fingers on her clitoris tends to be a little rough, no matter how careful they are...and almost all of the excitement she gets from attempting to lick into her vagina is psychological; she can't really feel much that way.
Hand Care: It's best to be sure your fingernail edges are very smooth, and preferably cut all the way down to where they connect to your skin. No matter how careful you are, they are likely to cause her to get a little sore inside, or even really hurt, feeling like a knife cutting her. This can even be the cause of soreness that she doesn't realize is being caused by your nails. Being a guitarist, I have the nails on my left hand trimmed back as far as I can cut them, anyway. Guitar also gives one's fret-hand amazing endurance and finesse, for g-spot stimulation and other tricks.
Dental Dams: These are, in most cases, just plain silly. Unlike almost any other form of sexual activity, the odds of you transmitting or catching AIDS this way are almost zero. There are almost no cases of any female homosexuals, for instance, even claiming to have caught AIDS this way. In case you're wondering what the hell I'm talking about, a "dental dam" is simply a condom cut in half lengthwise and used to keep fluids from passing between mouth and vulva. And it's being advocated primarily by people who are simply jealous that they're missing out on a great chance to be a "victim" in the issue of sexually transmitted diseases.
Interesting note -- A little noise on your part usually doesn't hurt, and sometimes it helps. Some women are very hung up on cunnilingus, determined to believe that, no matter how much you say otherwise (and she claims to believe you), it may be at least a little unpleasant for you. If you're excited by her responses, or by the act itself, don't try to stay quiet about it. The same kind of sounds that will reassure and excite a lover when they're pleasuring you will often work when you're pleasuring them, too. This could be considered a secret weapon in sex in general, because most guys are rather quiet, and yet women almost always find responsiveness very exciting. The contrast between someone who's responsive and most of the other guys makes it even more effective than it would already have been.
More Advanced Techniques:
The G-Spot
This does exist. And in over half of the women out there, it works better than anything else you can do to cause a strong, prolonged orgasm. The original name is the Grafenberg spot, after a doctor, Earnest Grafenberg, who documented the area (which may have been known by people here and there throughout history) in the fifties.
This "spot" is a small "mound" of tissue inside the vagina, between a penny and quarter in size, which responds to being pressed upon. It's almost certainly not the skenes glands, (which are located around the urethra, which is behind the G-spot area), as has been suggested by a few people. In fact, the G-Spot is the tissue in that raised area of the vagina, which has a higher concentration of sexual nerves, and produces hormones similar to those made by the male's prostate gland.
A sort of map to the area -- Imagine your lover lying on her back, legs spread. Your position is between her legs. You would slide a finger inside her vagina, palm up. With your finger straight back, middle finger is best, you would curve it toward yourself, gently, as if you were gesturing to someone to "come here". In doing so, the area you press on should be pretty near her "G-Spot" area. If you know enough to follow the urethra (the tube that leads from the bladder to where the pee comes out), along the inside of her vagina, you may feel a slight swelling (if she's excited) at the point where the g-spot is.
She must be excited, especially if either you or she is new to the g-spot, for the g-spot to have any real effect at all. It's not the ideal area for getting your lover aroused.
But when she is excited, this area (more often than not) is the best way to bring her to orgasm. You work your way back to it gradually, teasing her (typically, this works best) with your fingers, slowly and gently. It's easier to hit the right area with two fingers, but this may not be comfortable for her, depending on how "tight" she is at that moment. When you have your fingers around the right area, try gently pressing, not too quickly. The movement should be fairly rhythmic. It's typically best if you're licking her clitoris (or near it, depending on the woman) at the same time...don't make a big deal out of the "quest", this will often make her feel self-conscious, or distracted. The licking should seem to be the primary activity.
When you find the right area, she should respond by getting more excited. Most of the vagina's inside surface isn't really that sexually sensitive, believe it or not...most of the excitement of randomly inserting fingers is more psychological than from the actual stimulation.
While more complicated techniques work with some women, some of the time, the best basic technique, upon finding the g-spot, is to continue to slowly, rhythmically press on it, while licking her clitoris (for a few women, the labia (lips) are sensitive to licking, too).
This should cause her to build up to an orgasm.
A G-Spot orgasm is different (always, when it works at all) than any other kind women have. It is possible, with some women, to have different qualities and kinds of orgasms from vaginal, clitoral, anal, and even breast stimulation...but with other women, those kinds of orgasms are all pretty much the same. But the G-Spot orgasm not only feels different; it also causes her body to react in a different way.
First, it often causes a "push out" orgasm. The area around, or "above" (farther inside, that is) your fingers seems to swell up or to contract toward the opening of her vagina.
If you find the right combination of pushing back when this happens, and slacking off to let it push out, you can cause (in perhaps half of the women) her orgasm to continue happening, long after normal ones would have subsided. In some women you can even keep her at a "plateau" (raised level) of sexual excitement, like a prolonged orgasm (or a little less than one) afterward, building up to an even bigger climax. I've managed to keep this pattern of build-up, orgasm, plateau, orgasm, build-up, orgasm for over four hours, with one lover. We stopped when, though she wanted to go on, she was so exhausted that she really had to stop.
That brings me to another important point; G-Spot orgasms sometimes (less than half of the women, I'd guess, and in some of those women only occasionally) causes a huge amount (relatively speaking) of lubrication (juices, wetness)...far more than even the most excited woman gets from "conventional" stimulation. It's a good thing, too, because otherwise g-spot orgasms can only be prolonged for as long as she does not get raw/sore from it...which is yet another reason to be gentle.
When that extra wetness combines with the push-out orgasm, you get actual ejaculation...like a guy, but much better tasting. The built up juices can shoot out in such volume that you, or she, may be afraid that she lost control of her bladder. That is (almost always) not what happened. The fear that she peed can be enhanced by the fact that the urethra is behind the g-spot, so that in rare cases the woman can sometimes get the feeling that she needs to pee, even though she does not.
In reality, in both men and women, enough sexual excitement prevents peeing, unless you try really hard. This is a built-in reflex, because urine is something of a spermicide. The "pee hard-on" that men get in the morning is partially his body taking advantage of this reflex, to keep him from accidentally wetting the bed with the urine that built up while he was sleeping.
Licking the Alphabet
Believe it or not, Sam Kinnison's suggestion of licking the alphabet, one letter at a time, on and around her clitoris/vulva actually works. I had come up with a similar technique myself, but his version is pretty close to the perfect formula -- The real goal is to be able to keep regular, rhythmic motions going, but to change them in some gradual pattern that isn't so different it throws her off, but isn't so redundant that she grows insensitive to it. The alphabet is probably the longest chain of shapes that you can be sure to repeat smoothly and rhythmically, without loosing track of where you are. Unless you are a victim of public education, I suppose, in which case you may have to stick to the letters of your name, or the numbers one through nine (being too confused by where to put the zero).
I would not suggest combining this with the g-spot stimulation, at least not with the intention of really giving her g-spot orgasms. The two techniques conflict a bit, as the focus of arousal is so different.
Cough Drops - Nothing to Sneeze At
After you've thought about it for a while, this will seem obvious. Just remember that it probably wasn't, until a minute ago...
The way a cough drop, either menthol or mint, works is to stimulate the mucus membranes in your mouth in the special way that feels "cool and tingly". Well, one of the few other places (easily accessible) on the human body that has mucus membranes is the vaginal area. Many people find that, correctly applied, a cough drop feels just spectacular down there. Most people at least find it a very...ah...refreshing change of pace.
A few important tips:
1. Use sugar-free cough drops. N'ice is a great brand, especially the menthol or mint versions. If possible, find one (whatever brand) with both menthol and mint. It's actually possible that sugar cough drops are just fine, or even better...the debate is over whether the sugar might feed an already existing yeast infection. The things I've heard from semi-expert (medically) people are that it may feed one (and thus aggrevate it), that it actually will protect from yeast infection (I forget the reasoning, it may have been a Ph thing), or that it's not the kind of yeast that eats sugar anyway. One thing's unanimous: sugar cough drops won't make any difference unless you're already infected, they don't carry that kind of yeast. In fact, a human's fingers or tongue would be more likely to (and even that is pretty unlikely, if they're of even typical cleanliness).
2. Let the drop become even more rounded and smoothed by sucking on it for a while, if you're actually going to apply it inside (which is the most effective way).
3. Speaking of which, the best thing to do is actually insert it with your fingers. This only works if you're going to be using your fingers during the cunnilingus, though an alternative is to leave it there for a while and then engage in coitus, which can be pretty nifty for both parties.
4. If not insertion, the best way is to simply suck on it and then, with cough-droppy saliva, lick her as you would have done anyway,perhaps using the Alphabet method. This isn't quite as amazing, but is still pretty good.
5. Altoids are supposed to be pretty good, but they're very powerful. I haven't yet verified whether they work, though Don & Mike (Radio Gods) unintentionally made a big deal of it recently. They admitted they were working from a position of ignorance, much like their reviews of movies they have never seen.
6. Don't forget to try breathing on, or blowing lightly on, her vagina/clitoris. The effect is more subtle until you try this... it's the exposure to air that makes it especially tingly.
Just for Noel
When Christmas time rolls around, some stores sell a kind of candy cane that's over an inch thick and six or eight inches long at the straight part (it may not even have the hooked part at all).
Take one end of that, and suck/lick it until it is more rounded and smooth, and you have one of the most entertaining objects you might ever insert in your lover's vagina. It has that special minty feeling, like a cough drop but milder, and is the approximate size/shape of a penis.
Butt-Free Anal Stimulation
I like making up titles.
The vagina actually shares a wall, on one side, with the rectum. Not only does this mean that sexual stimulation is possible from anal entry (which is a whole separate page), it also means that a similar sensation can be acheived without ever touching her butt (not that there's anything wrong with that...heh) by stimulating the side of her vagina where it shares nerves with her rectum. This is more or less the exact opposite, one hundred eighty degrees around, from the g-spot. In other words, if you were to reach in and arch your finger to touch her g-spot, then rotate your hand to face the exact other direction and make a similar (but flatter) motion, you've got the right area. Common sense should tell you where I'm talking about, anyway, since it's the area where it would touch her rectum, inside.
It rarely works well to stimulate this early on...usually you need to not only build up to it, but even get her pretty excited and sensitive first. This is not only to make the area more receptive, but also, in some cases, so that she will be beyond any danger of distraction over the tabooness of how it feels somewhat like you're stimulating her anally.
Press more with the length of your finger, not the tip. This works best, in many cases, as a change of pace, not the main attraction. Which leads us to...
Around the World -- or the Sea, Anyway
Once you have your lover "used to" the whole g-spot stimulation thing (she will actually get "better at" cumming from g-spot stimulation, the more it's done to her), you can try, occasionally and for variety, stimulating her g-spot until she starts to really respond, then switching back and forth between pushing (as gently as normally necessary for that particular lover) her g-spot and pressing the length of your finger on the opposite side, as per the last section. Sometimes you can even get to the point of doing one press on one side, one on the other, back and forth, which can feel amazing and a bit "what on earth are you doing? No, I didn't say to stop" to her. Most likely, though, it'll work better if you switch every several seconds, not every time you press.
Around the World -- Part II
I should not fail to mention the cervix. You may not have even noticed it, by touch, but it's there and once you find it you'll wonder how you missed it (unless your lover has had histerectomy, in which case it's missing, no big deal). This is yet another area where you definitely want to build up to stimulating, as it can actually be painful to even touch if she's not excited enough...but, despite assumptions to the contrary, it can be very useful for stimulation, done correctly.
As I said, issue #1 is that she must be very aroused. Well, bearing in mind that everyone's different, of course.
The Cervix is also about 180 degrees around from the g-spot, but it's in much deeper (typically). It leads back to the rest of her reproductive organs, like the womb. If she's pregnant, don't mess with this at all. Watch out, too, for IUDs and diaphrams and the like. Hopefully you are on good enough terms with her to already know if she's using one of these contraceptive devices, which fit over the cervix.
The cervix is not an abtract "area", it actually juts up, like a little flesh mesa or something. It has an opening at its very "peak", but this is normally closed pretty tightly.
The best way to start is to gently caress around the sides and base of the cervix. Remember, she should already be very "hot" before you even start this part. Eventually, build up to circling it with one or two fingers, around and around, gently staying in contact with it so she can feel the motion through the cervix itself. How hard you can press depends a lot on the specific woman. This is also something that probably works better as a change of pace, not the "main course" of the cunnilingus session...unless she really gets into it.
That circling motion may get another round of "what on earth are you doing...hey! Don't STOP doing it!".
You may even, and in my experience this rarely works, but works well when it does, be able to press directly on the tip, with your finger or fingers, pressing it the way a penis might if one happened be entering her at the right angle to hit her cervix.
Actual Anal Stimulation
This works very well with cunnilingus, if the woman is comfortable with it. In fact, it has its own section on the Advanced Anal Sex Techniques page...I won't go into any real detail here but to point you to that page.
Comments/Appendices:
Taste
Anyone who likes, say, coffee or beer should have no room to complain about the way most women taste. No, I don't mean it tastes like coffee or beer, genius...I mean that beer and coffee are, at best, acquired tastes...they are not naturally pleasant to a human being, no matter how much your addiction to one or both has convinced you otherwise. Most people, whether they remember it or not, had to learn to like the taste of beer/coffee, and had the desire to be Like the Adults to help them along. Well, I'd list taking pleasure in cunnilingus above drinking addictive beverages on the list of things that prove maturity. Aside from that, there's the fact that many people who give it an honest try genuinely enjoy the taste/smell, myself included. Had I not liked it, for some reason, I would have simply taught myself to like it, because of the great pleasure it can bring. Aside from whether you find the taste/smell sexually exciting to begin with (and, because of pheromones, males (at least) should), surely it will become ever more stimulating for you as you come to associate it with the pleasure you can give.
Rest
If you do have a lover who can experience repeated, extended orgasms from g-spot stimulation, and you (for some reason) need to take a break, the absolute best way to do this is to give her a clitoral orgasm. This can be as simple as pushing even more gently and slowly on her g-spot, while giving her clitoris more attention (it can often take more direct and firm stimulation by that level of arousal), so that her next orgasm is really caused by the licking, not the pressing of your finger(s). This works because, with many women anyway, clitoral orgasms leave her feeling very sensitive, and momentarily satisfied (or at least wanting to take a breather).
There is, on the other hand, a very interesting trick for staying "in the game" when your tongue is getting tired. Switch from moving your tongue directly, to using your whole jaw to move your tongue, by slightly opening and closing it. If you tire of this, move your entire head, so that it's doing the actual work that makes your tongue move. When even your neck tires, it's on to the final backup-plan, but the one that works the longest; gently rock your entire body back and forth, at the same speed that you were doing each of the other, so that it's your body that's actually doing the work to move your tongue. For someone who hasn't built up the mighty endurance that's useful with a lover who can have hours of orgasms, this is a great trick. Of course it mainly works when you're going simpler, rhythmic motions...save the fancy tongue stuff for when your tongue's doing all of the work (you should be able to switch back to tongue-only motion regularly, as it gets rested).
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Advanced Anal Sex Techniques and Secrets
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Posted:Feb 21, 2017 6:31 am
Last Updated:Feb 21, 2017 8:32 am
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Advanced Anal Sex Techniques and Secrets
Having written the Advanced Cunnilingus Techniques page, and then the Advanced Fellatio Techniques page in response to reader demands, it seems that the next most common question I get is about various forms of anal sex (analingus, actual anal penetration with the penis or fingers). So, in keeping with my tendency to have an opinion on everything and be willing to let everyone know what it is, I have written this page on the subject.
Anal activities in sex are less talked about, and make many people feel more than a little uncomfortable. This is mainly because of the taboos about the butt, of course, and not because there's anything wrong with it, per se.
In fact, there is a unique form of pleasure to be gotten from anal stimulation, for a guy or girl. For men this is because of the prostate, which is an important sexual organ and can only be directly stimulated through anal contact, and on women it is because the rectum (sorry if you're not looking for technical terms, but I need to be specific) shares a wall with the vagina, and the sexual nerves are actually closer on that side, making the sensation different and sometimes actually stronger.
Anal sex is not always the #1 favorite, but it is certainly high on the list for many people, and can be a fun change of pace for almost anyone who isn't bothered too much by the taboos against it.
First, as always, a few basics.
Be Sensitive -- I mean this in several different ways.
First, it may be a difficult subject to bring up, if you and your lover haven't already discussed it. It's that taboo thing, again. There is a reasonable chance that they have already thought of it, and were afraid to bring it up themselves, but there's also a chance the idea would horrify them. Hopefully your relationship already involves open, relaxed, and frank discussion about sex, or else you probably should work on that long before you worry about testing the waters on this subject.
Second, the anus really isn't meant to be entered. Don't get me wrong; humans aren't really meant to fly, either...I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just saying you have to bear these little facts in mind. One should be very gentle when experimenting with these things.
An important example is never...ever try it on your lover for the first time without them expecting it, especially if we're talking about penetration with a penis or similarly large object. Trust me on this, please. If you've ever had a really big, hard BM (Bowel Movement), that was really painful, that's nothing compared to being caught off-guard by this. Not only are there better ways to go about it, but you may never get the chance to try again, if they're upset enough.
That's doom and gloomy enough, I think, now as for some more useful info.
Basics
Positions
For most anal sex, there are a few positions which make it easier to access the butt. These generally apply to analingus, actual anal sex, or even using fingers...though with fingers almost any sexual position might work, if both parties enjoy it.
The most basic is for your lover to be on their back, legs spread and/or knees pulled up. Put a pillow or two under their butt...this is a big help that's easily overlooked. In one way this is the most awkward of the positions, but it can be the easiest for your lover.
Another is for your lover to be on elbows and knees, as for doggie style sex. This is easier for access, but it also tends to require your lover to tighten their butt muscles a bit. This may work better if your lover has some support under their chest/belly to lean on, so they can relax more, and possibly even so they can lean forward a little, extending their legs out and to the side behind them, which might put things at an easier angle for access.
A third position is for them to be on their side. Their legs need to be in a scissors position, perhaps the upper one extended in front of them and the other straight "down" (as if they were standing), else the upper leg drawn up toward the chest or straight upward (bent, either way), and the lower leg in whatever position is comfortable.
Cleanliness
As always, this matters more to some people than others, but in this case it's a more popular issue than with just about any other kind of sex, for obvious reasons. First, having bathed more recently than the last BM is a good idea.
It's a good idea to have a bowel movement an hour or so before, to ensure that nothing is encountered during any penetration (unless you're into that, I suppose), and then bathe the area.
Other than basic cleaning like that, oil-based lubricants are a great insulator for anal contact. They tend to cover up any potential (or simply feared) smell and transfer of icky stuff. If you use Vaseline/petrolatum, for example, the odds are that a simple wiping off with a dry cloth will result in finger/penis/whatever seeming to be just about perfectly clean. Again, this may not matter to some people, but it's worth mention because it is crucial to others.
To some people, enemas may seem like overkill, or even to be grosser than not having one before anal sex anyway. But they certainly do bear mention, in case this sounds like a good idea to you (feeling comfortable with things like cleanliness are potentially very important). This is especially worth considering in actual penis penetration, since one gets a lot deeper than even the most dilligent bathing process is going to be able to clean. But it is still not a really common practice, even for actual penetration. Of course a few people even find enemas to be sexually exciting themselves.
Lubrication
With anal sex of any kind, lubrication is worth seriously considering. And oil-based lubricants tend to work better, because of the treater pressure/texture involved. Drying out like water-based lubricants do is a more serious problem than with other kinds of sex. Bear in mind, of course, that oil-based lubricants are a threat to a latex condom, which will be damaged by it. That aside, vaseline is the best, in the case of anal sex, because it will stay in place and lubricate much more determinedly than thinner lubricants, and yet not provide its own resistence like thicker ones will. Cocoa butter would be my #2 suggestion. Some kinds of massage oil can work well. Baby oil and other similarly thin substances are way down on the list, as the lubrication they provide is rather weak/watery, for oils.
That's all for the basics...except that I will address the whole thing from the ground up, dedicating much more time to "how to get started" in this article than in the cunnilingus and fellatio articles. The reasons for this include the fact that this can be far more painful if done wrong, the fact that it's more taboo and thus worrisome to some people, and the fact that it's rarer...even thinking in detail about it is rarer...and thus more people are more likely to need to go over the basics. Oh, and the basics can be much more complicated, too. A penis in a mouth or a licking of a clitoris is a lot easier to get started in an "acceptable" way than a painless penetration of an anus.
Analingus
We'll start with this, because it's pretty simple. No worry about accidentally hurting anyone.
Work your way up to it -- as with any sex, it is often best to start out gradually, even away from errogenous zones completely. Remember how you used to fool around for hours before sex? It was pretty exciting, wasn't it. Anyway, even after you've gotten to the erogenous zones, you might consider performing cunnilingus/fellatio on them first. Simply work your way downward from there toward their anus, gradually.
No matter what position you're using, your hands, or your partner's will probably be necessary to make access easier. You have far more control and better contact if their butt-cheeks (is there a technical name for that?) are spread away from their actual anus.
What exactly to do, tongue-at-anus, varies a lot from person to person.
Some prefer a light flicking, gently licking around the center, or gently pushing at it.
Some prefer a deeper probing, with your tongue held rigid and pushed firmly inside.
Another method is to widen your tongue to apply pressure over the entire outside area...this is often much more stimulating than you'd imagine.
Another good idea is to try firmly licking, or even sucking on, the perrenium (the area between the anus and genitals. On a guy this is especially useful, because it indirectly stimulates both their balls and prostate.
The best method would be to combine all of these, and pay close attention to what your lover enjoys most. As in all sex, you would get them to believe in giving you a lot of feedback/signals, whether moaning, thrashing about, talking...whatever they are most comfortable with. They should increase or decrease this with their pleasure, so that you can learn what they like (it is different from person to person, this may be the most important secret of sex).
If you're going to engage in this for a long time, especially if you won't be switching back and forth between analingus and fellatio/cunnilingus for texture, you probably will want to provide some stimulation to their genitals, as analingus is a pretty mild form of contact that probably won't bring them to orgasm, or even keep them heavily stimulated, all by itself. The Cunnilingus and Fellatio pages on this site have some advice on hand-stimulation, which is often a vital part of oral sex.
Of course using your hands for their genitals will leave you short-handed for keeping their cheeks spread, so this is where recruiting them to do either the spreading or the stimulation is pretty useful.
The range of things one can do with analingus is a bit more limited than with cunnilingus and fellatio...but one reason for that is that the fingers need a separate section. Many people won't really want to do a lot of probing with their fingers while licking.
In fact, one might want to avoid using them even on the outside, because fingers are a lot stronger and firmer than a tongue, and so might make the licking part seem less obvious.
Finger Stimulation
As with analingus, the best way to start out, if you're going to be using your fingers, is to work up to it. This also is where techniques you use on men and women begin to differ significantly, so I'm going to have to start breaking up my advice a bit, near the end.
Fingers are, unlike a tongue, rough. This is true no matter how baby-smooth your hands are, or how well-manicured. It's more true, of course, if your hands are rough or not well manicured. Caring for them ahead of time with some hand-softening lotion and the careful removal of as much fingernail as comfortable is a good idea.
Fingernails, in fact, are an important consideration. Even being well-smoothed may not be enough. Being a guitarist, I happen to keep my nails on my left hand trimmed all the way to the skin, and smoothed as much as possible. This is a big help, but even it may not always be enough, depending on the sensitivity of the partner.
Rubber/latex gloves, especially the surgical kind, are definitely worth considering, especially if either of you are just starting to experiment with anal-finger stimulation (getting or giving). The difference it makes is just astounding...discomfort which was actually assumed to be from other issues (like being thought a matter of penetration itself, or nervous tightness) sometimes disappears completely. Since the idea here, unlike condoms, is not to actually keep fluids from being passed between you, oil-based lubricants can sometimes be used with latex gloves. Because the gloves are so helpful, though, a water-based lubricant (K-9, Wet, Anal-Ease, whatever) might work fine.
Gently touching the anus is a good way to get started, once you're worked up to it. Because this area's not really messed with as much, it can be exciting to just be touched there.
The next step might be gently circling it with your finger. Consider whether you're using lubrication and/or gloves as to how lightly you do this.Even without penetrating, there is a difference in sensation between pushing right in the middle, and pushing/circling the area right around the center.
Actual penetration usually takes some tact. It's generally important that you work your way up very gradually, gently stroking the region right around the opening, then pushing gently at the center but not actually penetrating. Actual penetration may, especially if you're not using both gloves and lubricant (and even more especially if either of you is new at this) be best accomplished by locating the exact opening (DO NOT assume you know where it is, try to make a point of eyeballing it, sometimes even your lover can be mistaken if they're trying to guide you), and then making a rhythmic pushing motion at it, very gently, and only penetrating perhaps a millimeter more each time, especially until you've gotten the rounded part of your finger well past their actual sphinctor muscle (the ring of muscle that squeezes to close their anus shut).
They should, as with penis penetration, make a point of relaxing as much as they can. Hopefully they did relieve themselves shortly before cleaning for this, so they should be able to relax a lot without fear of any accidents. In fact, a good way to ensure relaxing enough to allow entrance is to make what feels like a slight pushing motion, as if having a BM. Not a real pushing motion; much of the basic BM action is actually just a relaxing of the muscles in that area, and the internal intestinal pressure is what actually pushes the waste out. If they can comfortably isolate that relaxing motion from real pushing, they're almost sure to be able to relax enough for almost any kind of penetration.
OK, I'm going to have to diverge, now...male and female:
If your lover is male:
The key to anal sex with a male is the prostate. If your lover is lying on his back, his prostate is on the "up" side of his rectum, several inches inside. It is stimulated by any attention to the region, though, including the perrenium (the area between his balls and anus).
You can gently push/massage the perrenium with your fingers, even if you're not penetrating his anus.
If you are penetrating it, though, follow the paragraph above on the subject, and once you're well inside, work your way gradually to the prostate (on the rectal wall on the side toward his genitals). Make this very gradual, as hitting suddenly can either be very uncomfortable, or cause him to suddenly have an orgasm, before you actually planned it (drawing out the time until an orgasm is a very powerful way to make sex more pleasurable, and orgasms amazingly stronger). Yes, sudden, strong stimulation of the prostate can, in some people, cause spontaneous orgasm...but remember that it may, instead, just be really uncomfortable. Some people do like it, though.
Stimulating the prostate for a while, until orgasm, also causes both a much different feeling orgasm, and (theoretically) more "watery" ejaculate (the prostate provides lubricant, whereas the gonads/balls provide the actual sperm). This may be of interest to someone who, for whatever reason, doesn't like the taste of a guy's ejaculate and hasn't mastered the trick of swallowing without tasting it(link). Performing fellatio when using your fingers to stimulate his prostate is a very good idea, by the way.
If your lover is a woman -- First, this is even more directly tied to oral sex...or at least the sex-specific section for doing it to a woman is.
The best way to engage in anal finger-sex (well, I can't find an official name for it) is to be going down on her, and add the finger as a part of your techniques.
First, be sure to follow the generic advice above, especially for penetration, and the cunnilingus advice (including finger techniques for the vagina) from the cunnilingus page.
One great way to start stimulating her anus is to make incidental contact with it, while you're stimulating her vagina with your finger(s). You simply allow a finger to, in the course of keeping it out of your way, stretch back past her anus, so that your pressing motions will happen to incidentally press lightly there, too. You might even work your way up to allowing a pinky to press (be sure there's a lot of natural or artificial lubrication against the opening itself, and perhaps even work its way inside, a millimeter every dozen strokes or less.
I'm definitely not advocating "tricking" her...this should be something you've discussed before, at least enough to know that she's not specifically against it if it feels nice. It is, though, a good way to demonstrate, without pressuring her for some specific act, how it can be stimulating for her when you at least touch the outside of her anus.
Anyway, getting beyond the starting point, once everything's cleared for actual penetration, you work your way inside using exactly the same technique (assuming she or you are new to this)...have a different finger inside her vagina and make the main stimulation there, probably her g-spot, and let the anal penetration take a good, long time to actually progress. Lots of lubrication, and/or a latex surgical glove (surgical because this will interfere with sensation the least).
Once you're pretty well inside, concentrate (very gently) on stimulating the side nearest her vagina. A pressing motionis very helpful. In fact, you might not even do much sliding in and out, depending on how relaxed/excited (both at the same time, ideally) she is, and how well lubricated/gloved you are.
You might take several sessions to get to the point of actually concentrating your effort on the anal part, keeping it a secondary form of stimulation at first. But that depends on how well she enjoys it and how much discomfort, if any (some people are just "naturals", I guess) she encounters. Remember, gradual is safer, because you can always build up but if you go too far (this is true of any kind of sex) it may be hard to recapture the mood or continue the experiment.
Once/if she's really into it, one neat trick is to press along the same wall from both sides -- both press toward the rectum from the vagina, and toward the vagina from the rectum. The wall between them is thin enough that you will easily be able to feel each finger from the other one.
Make an effort to not swap fingers, though. The anus can, theoretically (I believe it's not common) carry common intestinal parasites that you'd never notice, but which might not have reached the vagina. We're not talking about any real major VD/STD or anything, but something her gynecologist might notice and complain about, anyway.
So assign one or two fingers to each opening, and keep them that way. In that case the "risk" is almost nil.
That's it for sex-specific finger stuff, for now.
Actual Anal Sex
You know, penetration with a penis, or some implement of destruction that substitutes for one. I'll refer to the penis, and if you are intending to use a vibrator or something, just substitute the word in your mind.
First, read all of the preliminary and finger stuff, because it all applies.
In fact, it is a very good idea to start out with fingers, even if your real goal is to you a penis. This allows your lover to get used to the feeling, and to relaxing their anus in the right way. It is even a good idea to work your way up to more than one finger. Bear in mind, though, that fingers are a great deal rougher (no matter how you care for them) than a penis, so be careful. If more than one finger is uncomfortable, and you're not going to use a glove, then skip multiple fingers (and remind your lover that a penis is smoother, if they're now worried).
Once you've worked your way up to the penis part, don't forget the importance of taking your time. You might even do some other things with it, first...coitus, for example, in the case of a female lover, or other contact between your penis and their genitals/thighs, in the case of either sex.
Stimulating your lover can be very important, especially to make the experience as pleasurable as possible for both parties. When working up to actual penetration, use your hands to stimulate your lover, probably taking a few things from the Advanced Cunnilingus/Fellatio Techniques pages, which both cover a lot of hand-techniques.
Don't forget, though, to be very careful about penetration. Done wrong, this can be more painful than, well, just about anything...childbirth, getting kicked in the 'nads, whatever. Done correctly, it's not painful at all, and can be very pleasurable.
Be careful about "hitting the hole". This is far more difficult to target than a vagina, if that's the experience you're going on. Enough light and a visual lining up is not that romantic, but is safest. This is also another reason to start out with finger penetration. There tends to be a slight softness, in some people, above or below the anus that can fool you, no matter the amount of care, into pushing at slightly the wrong angle or spot, so that neither of you realize it's wrong (yes, that's right, this mistake can be made even from inside your lover's body).
Don't miss my mention of angle, either. Because of the number of positions you might be using and the variety among individuals, I can't even begin to advise you on a specific angle as being the one to use...you need to figure this one out with a lot of care and observation. Just remember that most angles are the wrong one, so you need to make an effort to make it better than random.
Prior experimentation with fingers, again, would settle this problem before it even started, especially when they are also applied before (or even during, if fingers are turning out to be enjoyable) penile penetration. A fingertip already inside a relaxed lover can be the perfect guide, actually making insertion of the penis easier and less painful, believe it or not.
If the position allows, and you're both comfortable with the idea, you may also have your lover help guide you in (bearing in mind that they may not be able to tell, perfectly, either), which is helpful because they know what hurts and what doesn't. But you should still be using your own hand as well, so you can feel what they're doing and when to do what yourself.
Remember my admonishment about a millimeter at a time, for fingers? If not, go back and read it, because I'm skimming over things here that are vital, but which I covered in the finger section.
Go very slowly. The best method is probably to make a slight pumping motion, starting out just pushing slightly at the opening, not actually penetrating at all, and simply adding the tiniest, and I do mean tiny, bit of pressure each time. It should literally take you minutes to make any real progress.
A big factor, as with all of this, is your partner. The more they can relax, the better. This means both their mind, and their sphinctor/anus. The part about making what feels (but is not) a "push" like when you relax your anus to have a BM is a huge help. Again, not a real push, as one might do when constipated or in a hurry, just the relaxation of muscles which is actually what many people do when having a BM.
No amount of lubricant is too much, either, if there is any concern about pain.
The big key in getting through this is the initial penetration of the bulge of the penis' head getting past the actual anus' sphinctor muscle. Once this is past, sliding in (if at the right angle) should be nearly painless. There are guys, though, whose penis is shaped in such a way that it still gets wider along the shaft, but for the average penis, which is about the same width all the way along except the head/glans, the difficult part is past once the head is inside.
Make sure the shaft was also lubricated, by the way, in case a "snag" from a dry area might cause discomfort.
Once safely inside, and once you've found the right angle, and everything is going well (basic sexual pumping works fine, here, but you may need to start out slower (though that's a good idea with coitus, too) and gentler), it may be a good idea to shift angle just slightly, so that the head of your penis is pressed more against the inside where the anus is closest to the prostate (men) or vagina (women). If you don't know where that is, you should have read the finger segment. So there.
This will make things, perhaps in a subtle way but in a way that will accumulate in effect, more stimulating for your lover. As for you, this is about the tightest form of sex you're going to encounter, which many people find very stimulating. Of course if this is involving an artificial device instead of a penis, of course that doesn't apply.
It's worth note that the sphinctor is always slightly torn by this, according to doctors. This isn't necessarily a big deal, you get lesions (cuts/tears) inside your mouth every time you brush, too, and yet you get along just fine doing that three times a day for your whole life. If you're comfortable then I'd think it's not really damage worth notice...but that tearing is why anal sex probably the cause of more HIV/AIDS transmission than all other forms of transmission combined. So, even if you haven't bothered with a condom for other kinds of sexual behavior, the odds here go from hundreds of thousands to one against transmission (by other sexual means) down to hundreds to one against (by my analysis of the CDC/NIH data), and so you might consider using one if there's any question of someone not knowing they're already infected.
Once you've done the full penetration thing a few times with your lover, and the penetrat-ee is getting to the point where relaxation is easy, and pain not really an issue (for some people it never is, or they like it, but it's necessary to have addressed the rest), you can consider trying more unusual positions and methods.
Like, for instance, the person being penetrated being on top. This is a very big mistake for a beginner, because one tightens one's butt muscles to hold them up when straddling a lover, but it is actually (once pain isn't a worry) a very nice position that people often don't think to try. If not for the butt-tightening, this would be a great first position, actually, because it gives the penetrated control over how fast things progress.
Another position, which is actually somewhat awkward but which some people find erotic, is standing up. If this simply means facing away and bending over a bit, the tightening of butt muscles is only a minor problem...but if it involves (yes, this even works with two guys) facing each other and having one leg, say, up on a table/counter, the tightening can become a real issue.
Don't forget the mutual stimulation. This (anal sex, not necessarily standing anal sex) can be the perfect way to try to time orgasms to happen simultaneously, and yet have the one doing the penetrating actually be doing the stimulating, too. Again I must refer you to (this page is already too long, without me repeating other pages) the cunnilingus and fellatio pages for hand techniques that work brilliantly for giving your lover orgasms of a power and timespan otherwise almost impossible.
OK, that's enough for now...whew.
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Special Cunnilingus Techniques and Secrets
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Posted:Jan 18, 2017 11:53 am
Last Updated:Mar 21, 2017 5:45 am
5978 Views
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The best part of sex, in my far-from-humble opinion, is the pleasure you can cause in your partner(s).
While being stimulated by your partner is certainly far better (for most people, if their partner's any good at it) than masturbation, it is still pretty much the same, only better.
Going down on a lover, on the other hand, allows you to get a kind of pleasure that you cannot give yourself, even in part; the vicarious or empathic response you get from their reactions.
The techniques here, therefore, are centered around cunnilingus, including (since there's no separate name) using your fingers. Along a similar line I've now written Advanced Fellatio Techniques and Secrets. This was learned as a subject, not performer, but with the same quality of skill involved. Because of the number of questions I received on the subject, I also have Advanced Anal Sex Techniques, for those who want to know about that.
Basic Guidelines:
"Less" is always the best way to start out if you don't know exactly what a specific person likes. It's much safer to build up from "not enough" than to try to back down after shattering the mood by being too rough. The final argument to ensure that you always apply this rule is this -- If you start out "too" gentle/slowly, in most cases this just excites your lover more, even in the rare cases that it frustrates her a little. But if you start out "too" rough for her, it almost always turns her off to the whole thing.
The differences between women cannot be emphasized enough -- no matter what you have encountered so far, always assume that you have no idea what a new partner enjoys. It is entirely possible to have had many lovers, and think
A. They are all pretty much the same or
B. You've learned all of the variations, and can tell who's what.
But this can be (and usually is) just a matter of random chance...you happened to get several similar lovers. Eventually you will run into someone, or many people, who are completely different than those you've known before.
Don't start by going down on her. Work your way up to it. Exceptions may be if you're in a hurry before your Press Secretary shows up, or other situations where you're expected to act more directly. It's worth observing that "work your way up to it" remains true no matter how many times you've been with that lover. With a long-term lover it may seem like you can get right to the direct stuff, but working your way up still has the same effect of increasing her excitement, with most women.
Along the same line of reasoning, don't start licking her clitoris immediately, when you do get there. Start with the area around it, which can be pretty sensitive with some women, even if it doesn't seem to cause the same dramatic response.
Even more important is to not immediately start inserting fingers in her vagina. With most women, that really needs to be built up, first. It usually doesn't hurt to build up a little, even if she's already excited.
Remember this -- Most often, the tongue works best with the clitoris, the fingers with the vagina/g-spot. Someone else's fingers on her clitoris tends to be a little rough, no matter how careful they are...and almost all of the excitement she gets from attempting to lick into her vagina is psychological; she can't really feel much that way.
Hand Care: It's best to be sure your fingernail edges are very smooth, and preferably cut all the way down to where they connect to your skin. No matter how careful you are, they are likely to cause her to get a little sore inside, or even really hurt, feeling like a knife cutting her. This can even be the cause of soreness that she doesn't realize is being caused by your nails. Being a guitarist, I have the nails on my left hand trimmed back as far as I can cut them, anyway. Guitar also gives one's fret-hand amazing endurance and finesse, for g-spot stimulation and other tricks.
Dental Dams: These are, in most cases, just plain silly. Unlike almost any other form of sexual activity, the odds of you transmitting or catching AIDS this way are almost zero. There are almost no cases of any female homosexuals, for instance, even claiming to have caught AIDS this way. In case you're wondering what the hell I'm talking about, a "dental dam" is simply a condom cut in half lengthwise and used to keep fluids from passing between mouth and vulva. And it's being advocated primarily by people who are simply jealous that they're missing out on a great chance to be a "victim" in the issue of sexually transmitted diseases.
Interesting note -- A little noise on your part usually doesn't hurt, and sometimes it helps. Some women are very hung up on cunnilingus, determined to believe that, no matter how much you say otherwise (and she claims to believe you), it may be at least a little unpleasant for you. If you're excited by her responses, or by the act itself, don't try to stay quiet about it. The same kind of sounds that will reassure and excite a lover when they're pleasuring you will often work when you're pleasuring them, too. This could be considered a secret weapon in sex in general, because most guys are rather quiet, and yet women almost always find responsiveness very exciting. The contrast between someone who's responsive and most of the other guys makes it even more effective than it would already have been.
More Advanced Techniques:
The G-Spot
This does exist. And in over half of the women out there, it works better than anything else you can do to cause a strong, prolonged orgasm. The original name is the Grafenberg spot, after a doctor, Earnest Grafenberg, who documented the area (which may have been known by people here and there throughout history) in the fifties.
This "spot" is a small "mound" of tissue inside the vagina, between a penny and quarter in size, which responds to being pressed upon. It's almost certainly not the skenes glands, (which are located around the urethra, which is behind the G-spot area), as has been suggested by a few people. In fact, the G-Spot is the tissue in that raised area of the vagina, which has a higher concentration of sexual nerves, and produces hormones similar to those made by the male's prostate gland.
A sort of map to the area -- Imagine your lover lying on her back, legs spread. Your position is between her legs. You would slide a finger inside her vagina, palm up. With your finger straight back, middle finger is best, you would curve it toward yourself, gently, as if you were gesturing to someone to "come here". In doing so, the area you press on should be pretty near her "G-Spot" area. If you know enough to follow the urethra (the tube that leads from the bladder to where the pee comes out), along the inside of her vagina, you may feel a slight swelling (if she's excited) at the point where the g-spot is.
She must be excited, especially if either you or she is new to the g-spot, for the g-spot to have any real effect at all. It's not the ideal area for getting your lover aroused.
But when she is excited, this area (more often than not) is the best way to bring her to orgasm. You work your way back to it gradually, teasing her (typically, this works best) with your fingers, slowly and gently. It's easier to hit the right area with two fingers, but this may not be comfortable for her, depending on how "tight" she is at that moment. When you have your fingers around the right area, try gently pressing, not too quickly. The movement should be fairly rhythmic. It's typically best if you're licking her clitoris (or near it, depending on the woman) at the same time...don't make a big deal out of the "quest", this will often make her feel self-conscious, or distracted. The licking should seem to be the primary activity.
When you find the right area, she should respond by getting more excited. Most of the vagina's inside surface isn't really that sexually sensitive, believe it or not...most of the excitement of randomly inserting fingers is more psychological than from the actual stimulation.
While more complicated techniques work with some women, some of the time, the best basic technique, upon finding the g-spot, is to continue to slowly, rhythmically press on it, while licking her clitoris (for a few women, the labia (lips) are sensitive to licking, too).
This should cause her to build up to an orgasm.
A G-Spot orgasm is different (always, when it works at all) than any other kind women have. It is possible, with some women, to have different qualities and kinds of orgasms from vaginal, clitoral, anal, and even breast stimulation...but with other women, those kinds of orgasms are all pretty much the same. But the G-Spot orgasm not only feels different; it also causes her body to react in a different way.
First, it often causes a "push out" orgasm. The area around, or "above" (farther inside, that is) your fingers seems to swell up or to contract toward the opening of her vagina.
If you find the right combination of pushing back when this happens, and slacking off to let it push out, you can cause (in perhaps half of the women) her orgasm to continue happening, long after normal ones would have subsided. In some women you can even keep her at a "plateau" (raised level) of sexual excitement, like a prolonged orgasm (or a little less than one) afterward, building up to an even bigger climax. I've managed to keep this pattern of build-up, orgasm, plateau, orgasm, build-up, orgasm for over four hours, with one lover. We stopped when, though she wanted to go on, she was so exhausted that she really had to stop.
That brings me to another important point; G-Spot orgasms sometimes (less than half of the women, I'd guess, and in some of those women only occasionally) causes a huge amount (relatively speaking) of lubrication (juices, wetness)...far more than even the most excited woman gets from "conventional" stimulation. It's a good thing, too, because otherwise g-spot orgasms can only be prolonged for as long as she does not get raw/sore from it...which is yet another reason to be gentle.
When that extra wetness combines with the push-out orgasm, you get actual ejaculation...like a guy, but much better tasting. The built up juices can shoot out in such volume that you, or she, may be afraid that she lost control of her bladder. That is (almost always) not what happened. The fear that she peed can be enhanced by the fact that the urethra is behind the g-spot, so that in rare cases the woman can sometimes get the feeling that she needs to pee, even though she does not.
In reality, in both men and women, enough sexual excitement prevents peeing, unless you try really hard. This is a built-in reflex, because urine is something of a spermicide. The "pee hard-on" that men get in the morning is partially his body taking advantage of this reflex, to keep him from accidentally wetting the bed with the urine that built up while he was sleeping.
Licking the Alphabet
Believe it or not, Sam Kinnison's suggestion of licking the alphabet, one letter at a time, on and around her clitoris/vulva actually works. I had come up with a similar technique myself, but his version is pretty close to the perfect formula -- The real goal is to be able to keep regular, rhythmic motions going, but to change them in some gradual pattern that isn't so different it throws her off, but isn't so redundant that she grows insensitive to it. The alphabet is probably the longest chain of shapes that you can be sure to repeat smoothly and rhythmically, without loosing track of where you are. Unless you are a victim of public education, I suppose, in which case you may have to stick to the letters of your name, or the numbers one through nine (being too confused by where to put the zero).
I would not suggest combining this with the g-spot stimulation, at least not with the intention of really giving her g-spot orgasms. The two techniques conflict a bit, as the focus of arousal is so different.
Cough Drops - Nothing to Sneeze At
After you've thought about it for a while, this will seem obvious. Just remember that it probably wasn't, until a minute ago...
The way a cough drop, either menthol or mint, works is to stimulate the mucus membranes in your mouth in the special way that feels "cool and tingly". Well, one of the few other places (easily accessible) on the human body that has mucus membranes is the vaginal area. Many people find that, correctly applied, a cough drop feels just spectacular down there. Most people at least find it a very...ah...refreshing change of pace.
A few important tips:
1. Use sugar-free cough drops. N'ice is a great brand, especially the menthol or mint versions. If possible, find one (whatever brand) with both menthol and mint. It's actually possible that sugar cough drops are just fine, or even better...the debate is over whether the sugar might feed an already existing yeast infection. The things I've heard from semi-expert (medically) people are that it may feed one (and thus aggrevate it), that it actually will protect from yeast infection (I forget the reasoning, it may have been a Ph thing), or that it's not the kind of yeast that eats sugar anyway. One thing's unanimous: sugar cough drops won't make any difference unless you're already infected, they don't carry that kind of yeast. In fact, a human's fingers or tongue would be more likely to (and even that is pretty unlikely, if they're of even typical cleanliness).
2. Let the drop become even more rounded and smoothed by sucking on it for a while, if you're actually going to apply it inside (which is the most effective way).
3. Speaking of which, the best thing to do is actually insert it with your fingers. This only works if you're going to be using your fingers during the cunnilingus, though an alternative is to leave it there for a while and then engage in coitus, which can be pretty nifty for both parties.
4. If not insertion, the best way is to simply suck on it and then, with cough-droppy saliva, lick her as you would have done anyway,perhaps using the Alphabet method. This isn't quite as amazing, but is still pretty good.
5. Altoids are supposed to be pretty good, but they're very powerful. I haven't yet verified whether they work, though Don & Mike (Radio Gods) unintentionally made a big deal of it recently. They admitted they were working from a position of ignorance, much like their reviews of movies they have never seen.
6. Don't forget to try breathing on, or blowing lightly on, her vagina/clitoris. The effect is more subtle until you try this... it's the exposure to air that makes it especially tingly.
Just for Noel
When Christmas time rolls around, some stores sell a kind of candy cane that's over an inch thick and six or eight inches long at the straight part (it may not even have the hooked part at all).
Take one end of that, and suck/lick it until it is more rounded and smooth, and you have one of the most entertaining objects you might ever insert in your lover's vagina. It has that special minty feeling, like a cough drop but milder, and is the approximate size/shape of a penis.
Butt-Free Anal Stimulation
I like making up titles.
The vagina actually shares a wall, on one side, with the rectum. Not only does this mean that sexual stimulation is possible from anal entry (which is a whole separate page), it also means that a similar sensation can be acheived without ever touching her butt (not that there's anything wrong with that...heh) by stimulating the side of her vagina where it shares nerves with her rectum. This is more or less the exact opposite, one hundred eighty degrees around, from the g-spot. In other words, if you were to reach in and arch your finger to touch her g-spot, then rotate your hand to face the exact other direction and make a similar (but flatter) motion, you've got the right area. Common sense should tell you where I'm talking about, anyway, since it's the area where it would touch her rectum, inside.
It rarely works well to stimulate this early on...usually you need to not only build up to it, but even get her pretty excited and sensitive first. This is not only to make the area more receptive, but also, in some cases, so that she will be beyond any danger of distraction over the tabooness of how it feels somewhat like you're stimulating her anally.
Press more with the length of your finger, not the tip. This works best, in many cases, as a change of pace, not the main attraction. Which leads us to...
Around the World -- or the Sea, Anyway
Once you have your lover "used to" the whole g-spot stimulation thing (she will actually get "better at" cumming from g-spot stimulation, the more it's done to her), you can try, occasionally and for variety, stimulating her g-spot until she starts to really respond, then switching back and forth between pushing (as gently as normally necessary for that particular lover) her g-spot and pressing the length of your finger on the opposite side, as per the last section. Sometimes you can even get to the point of doing one press on one side, one on the other, back and forth, which can feel amazing and a bit "what on earth are you doing? No, I didn't say to stop" to her. Most likely, though, it'll work better if you switch every several seconds, not every time you press.
Around the World -- Part II
I should not fail to mention the cervix. You may not have even noticed it, by touch, but it's there and once you find it you'll wonder how you missed it (unless your lover has had histerectomy, in which case it's missing, no big deal). This is yet another area where you definitely want to build up to stimulating, as it can actually be painful to even touch if she's not excited enough...but, despite assumptions to the contrary, it can be very useful for stimulation, done correctly.
As I said, issue #1 is that she must be very aroused. Well, bearing in mind that everyone's different, of course.
The Cervix is also about 180 degrees around from the g-spot, but it's in much deeper (typically). It leads back to the rest of her reproductive organs, like the womb. If she's pregnant, don't mess with this at all. Watch out, too, for IUDs and diaphrams and the like. Hopefully you are on good enough terms with her to already know if she's using one of these contraceptive devices, which fit over the cervix.
The cervix is not an abtract "area", it actually juts up, like a little flesh mesa or something. It has an opening at its very "peak", but this is normally closed pretty tightly.
The best way to start is to gently caress around the sides and base of the cervix. Remember, she should already be very "hot" before you even start this part. Eventually, build up to circling it with one or two fingers, around and around, gently staying in contact with it so she can feel the motion through the cervix itself. How hard you can press depends a lot on the specific woman. This is also something that probably works better as a change of pace, not the "main course" of the cunnilingus session...unless she really gets into it.
That circling motion may get another round of "what on earth are you doing...hey! Don't STOP doing it!".
You may even, and in my experience this rarely works, but works well when it does, be able to press directly on the tip, with your finger or fingers, pressing it the way a penis might if one happened be entering her at the right angle to hit her cervix.
Actual Anal Stimulation
This works very well with cunnilingus, if the woman is comfortable with it. In fact, it has its own section on the Advanced Anal Sex Techniques page...I won't go into any real detail here but to point you to that page.
Comments/Appendices:
Taste
Anyone who likes, say, coffee or beer should have no room to complain about the way most women taste. No, I don't mean it tastes like coffee or beer, genius...I mean that beer and coffee are, at best, acquired tastes...they are not naturally pleasant to a human being, no matter how much your addiction to one or both has convinced you otherwise. Most people, whether they remember it or not, had to learn to like the taste of beer/coffee, and had the desire to be Like the Adults to help them along. Well, I'd list taking pleasure in cunnilingus above drinking addictive beverages on the list of things that prove maturity. Aside from that, there's the fact that many people who give it an honest try genuinely enjoy the taste/smell, myself included. Had I not liked it, for some reason, I would have simply taught myself to like it, because of the great pleasure it can bring. Aside from whether you find the taste/smell sexually exciting to begin with (and, because of pheromones, males (at least) should), surely it will become ever more stimulating for you as you come to associate it with the pleasure you can give.
Rest
If you do have a lover who can experience repeated, extended orgasms from g-spot stimulation, and you (for some reason) need to take a break, the absolute best way to do this is to give her a clitoral orgasm. This can be as simple as pushing even more gently and slowly on her g-spot, while giving her clitoris more attention (it can often take more direct and firm stimulation by that level of arousal), so that her next orgasm is really caused by the licking, not the pressing of your finger(s). This works because, with many women anyway, clitoral orgasms leave her feeling very sensitive, and momentarily satisfied (or at least wanting to take a breather).
There is, on the other hand, a very interesting trick for staying "in the game" when your tongue is getting tired. Switch from moving your tongue directly, to using your whole jaw to move your tongue, by slightly opening and closing it. If you tire of this, move your entire head, so that it's doing the actual work that makes your tongue move. When even your neck tires, it's on to the final backup-plan, but the one that works the longest; gently rock your entire body back and forth, at the same speed that you were doing each of the other, so that it's your body that's actually doing the work to move your tongue. For someone who hasn't built up the mighty endurance that's useful with a lover who can have hours of orgasms, this is a great trick. Of course it mainly works when you're going simpler, rhythmic motions...save the fancy tongue stuff for when your tongue's doing all of the work (you should be able to switch back to tongue-only motion regularly, as it gets rested).
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CONTINUOUS MALE ORGASMS
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Posted:Dec 17, 2016 5:41 pm
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2024 5:6 am
5122 Views
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Several years ago I learned that by getting extremely close to the threshold of ejaculatory inevitability, then halting all stimulation, then getting "close" again repeatedly, I would achieve a continuous plateau stage with frequent partial orgasms. The resultant intensity of pleasure is possibly one half that felt in a full ejaculatory orgasm but potentially unending. Furthermore, the associated sexual organs exercise, and the learned ability to better control those organs mentally, has greatly increased the scope and persuasiveness of my sexual pleasure. It is my opinion that I have learned to enhance and maintain indefinitely the physical events and associated pleasure of an absolutely imminent ejaculatory orgasm. Feelings of pleasure are augmented by greater loin vasocongestion, and sexual organ fluid fullness and readiness. The following discussion attempts to teach men how to achieve a continuous orgasm, and to explain the physiological basis of this phenomenon.
My discovery of the continuous orgasm was accidental, but recounting the event may help others separate their orgasm and ejaculatory experiences. The first time I experienced the potential of this technique I was masturbating while stoned on pot. Stimulation to my penis felt somewhat dulled. I got close to cumming but sensed that my orgasm was going to be weak, so I stopped all stimulation, knowing that I could build up to a better orgasm. When I was able to resume penile stimulation I noticed the pleasure of touching my penis was greater...so I came close to cumming again and again...and it felt better and better. Possibly five "close calls" later, my prostate had swollen and my seminal vesicles hardened and discharged but no semen flowed into my urethra. Pot seems to broaden the threshold between my orgasm emissions phase and the ejaculatory reflex. Intense pleasure emanated from my testes, which were swollen and drawn under the tissue aside my penis. Possibly forty minutes into this routine my loin muscles began to ache, so I proceeded to the most intensely pleasurable orgasm and high quantity ejaculation I had ever had! Long afterward my loins continued to radiate an enjoyable ache. I had given all my sexual organ muscles a hearty exercising. I eagerly anticipated my next masturbation session, with delay dictated by my need to reload with semen.
I no longer use, nor do I advocate the use of pot because of its damaging effect on the lungs. Possibly marijuana brownies will do the trick. Again, pot use helped me control and broaden the threshold of ejaculatory inevitability, thus facilitating the learning of the continuous orgasm. Pot use also has a strong aphrodisiac effect when I entertained myself in this pre-ejaculation orgasm stage. Feelings of pleasure (sex munchies) are enhanced. For several months, without pot, I rarely achieved intense orgasm feelings without eliciting a few spasmodic pumping throbs and ejaculating small amounts of seminal fluid. With practice though, use of pot is not necessary to enjoy an orgasm without ejaculation. Practice results in discoveries of higher degrees of sexual pleasure and sensations, so it is easy to exercise!
At this point I would like to discuss the physiology of the male ejaculatory orgasm. Reference books describe the event in stages involving sexual organ vasocongestion, rising to the plateau stage, then the orgasm which consists of internal sexual organ emissions and the ejaculation reflex response. Actually, events beyond the plateau phase can be broken into many additional stages. My first sensations come from my testes, which draw up into my body. When men first sense the arrival of their orgasm, those feelings emanate from the epididymis and the spermatic cords which contract and spasm to move sperm up the ductus (vas) deferns into the ampullary gland or ampulla. The ampulla filling with sperm accentuates sexual stimulation pleasure. Continued penile stimulation soon triggers a hardening of the seminal vesicles which discharge fluid into the ampulla then into the ejaculatory ducts. Sufficient pressure quickly builds in the ejaculatory ducts to trigger a hardening of the prostate, which discharges directly into the urethra. Ejaculation is inevitable once the prostate hardens. Finally, the valves at the ends of the ejaculatory ducts open simultaneously with the initiation of the ejaculation reflex. Semen discharged from the penis comes in a distinct sequence of partially mixed emissions: 1.prostatic fluid (10; 2. sperm (5 and ampullary gland fluid (10; 3. seminal fluid (70 and again; 4. prostatic fluid (5.
Note that there are valves at the ends of the ejaculatory ducts and that fluids pressure triggers the ejaculation reflex. I evidently orgasm and discharge sperm, ampullary gland, and seminal vesicle fluid into the ejaculatory ducts without triggering ejaculation or the opening those valves. I have trained myself to lock the ejaculatory duct valves closed during these emissions. The key is WHEN YOU GET VERY CLOSE TO EJACULATORY INEVITABILITY COMPLETELY RELAX ALL SEXUAL ORGAN MUSCLES, AND CEASE STIMULATION TO THE PENIS. This muscle relaxation locks the ejaculatory ducts valves closed, even as the seminal vesicles proceed to harden and discharge. Ampullary gland fluid, sperm and seminal fluid pressure builds behind the duct valves. Stopping stimulation to the penis halts the orgasmic emissions pressure driven progression to the ejaculation reflex.
With experience and exercise, I have raised the pressure level required to trigger the ejaculation reflex response. I sense exactly how much more pressure can build before crossing the threshold to ejaculatory inevitability. My orgasms are stronger and ultimately continuous without triggering ejaculation. My seminal vesicles harden right after I have nearly cum; hence they are almost constantly hard and discharging. My prostate swells without hardening, currently to about just half as much during a full ejaculatory orgasm. Every approach to ejaculation increases the amount of fluid held in the ampulla, with an associated increase in pleasure and passion of sexual readiness.
The presence of sperm, ampullary gland, and seminal fluid in my ejaculatory ducts is evidenced sensations I can produce after nearly cumming. Shortly after ceasing stimulation I can contract my bulbospongiosus muscle and thereby press on my prostate and feel the fluids being pushed back up into the ampulla and seminal vesicles. This feeling of fluid movement and fullness is very pleasurable. I can stop masturbating, and hours (days) later still feel the semen in my loins eager for release. My testes also feel full and are slightly sensitive to jostling.
Notice my descriptions of the physical changes to internal sexual organs that occur during an orgasm and ejaculation. By placing a middle finger into your rectum the hardening of the seminal vesicles and prostate can be palpitated digitally. Softly massaging the prostate and ampulla when they are gorged from orgasmic filling is pleasurable. The ampullary gland is the triangular organ, point facing downward, that lies just above the prostate.
Four final observations can be made. First, it seems that over time my sexual organs and/or testes are producing more sperm. I easily cum twice daily (at 41 years old), and after just 48 hours of abstinence fluids build up to a sense of fullness that demands release. That sense of fullness comes from my testes. Secondly, I can generate a strong feeling of sexual excitement mentally at will. I am able to elicit a feeling of sexual rush at will, by mentally inducing contractions in my epididymis and spermatic cord causing sperm movement up my ductus (vas) deferens. The sperm rising to fill my ampullary gland raises my level of sexual excitement. My scrotum and spermatic cords move my testes around when I generate these pleasure sensations. Thirdly, I an now working on maintaining orgasms without stimulation to my penis. Once a high degree of fluid pressure has accumulated behind the ejaculatory ducts valves, I can induce contractions in my epididymis and spermatic cord thereby generate sexual stimulation. This stimulation maintains my continuous orgasm and can trigger the ejaculatory reflex. Finally, my forth observation is that the ability to enjoy orgasms while delaying ejaculation makes me a better lover. I am in no hurry, my partner is excited by my level of readyness and periodic dry penile throbs. I am satisfied and concentrate on giving pleasure.
PRACTICE GUIDE TO THE CONTINUOUS MALE ORGASM
Learn to enhance and maintain indefinitely the physiological events and associated pleasure of the emissions phase of an absolutely imminent ejaculatory orgasm! Just follow this step-by-step practice guide:
I. "STOP AND GO" MASTURBATING
When you begin to feel an orgasms approach, cease all penile stimulation. Let your level of excitement drop slightly, then approach another orgasm. Repeat this "stop and go" approach to an orgasm at least five times. Notice that stimulation to your penis feels better and better. On the sixth approach bear down hard with your bulbospongiosus (piss stopper) muscle but slow down your stroking as you reach the point of no return. The reduced stimulation to the penis permits the pleasure of sexual organ emissions drive you to the full ejaculatory orgasm. Notice the increased volume and intensity of your orgasm.
GOALS:
Learn to resist the temptation of the orgasm; just as your penis feels really great to stroke...stop. You will discover that the avoidance of immediate pleasure will bring greater pleasure.
Strengthen your sexual organ muscles.
Increase your mental control over orgasms.
Learn to measure the approach of your orgasm.
Feel the emissions phase as separate from the ejaculatory phase of an orgasm.
II. RECTAL MONITOR
Practice the Stop and Go technique. When you are ready to orgasm lube up your middle finger and stick it up your butt! Feel around your prostate (walnut sized organ one inch past your anus) then put your finger all the way in, past the prostate. With your finger probing above the prostate proceed to orgasm.
GOALS:
Learn how good it feels to massage your prostate and ampullary gland. Feel how your internal sex organs harden during an orgasm. The ampullary gland is felt when hard as triangular just above the prostate. The seminal vesicles are the firm cords running down into the ampullary gland.
III. RELAXATION WHEN CLOSE:
Practice Stop and Go approaches to an orgasm, but try to get a little closer to the point of no return. When you get close, stop stroking your penis and completely relax all sex muscles. Concentrate especially on relaxing your bulbospongiosus (piss stopper) muscle. Let your level of excitement drop, but less so, before resuming the approach to another orgasm. Relax completely each time you are near an orgasm and stop sexual stimulation. Notice that relaxation helps to extinguish the orgasm feelings.
GOALS:
Learn to resist the lure of an orgasm which is now closer. You must relax just when your piss stopper muscle would naturally bear down, and stop stroking just when it feel really good.
Learn to more quickly resume penile stimulation after stopping.
Learn to get closer and closer to ejaculatory inevitability without passing that threshold.
IV. CLOSE RELAX CLOSE RELAX SO CLOSE
Build up your level of sexual excitement first with at least five stop and go sessions, then try to get REAL CLOSE to an orgasm and RELAX all sex organ muscles. Get so close that you would have triggered an orgasm if you had not become fully relaxed. Your mission is continue to feel the orgasms approach for a few seconds even though you are not stimulating your penis. The lure to stroke yourself is very strong at this point but resist! With practice you will briefly enter the sex organs emissions phase without ejaculating. Relaxing will suppress your ejaculatory reflex response and help keep semen retained behind the ejaculatory ducts valves. Semen pressure will build in the ampullary gland. A soft finger massage of the prostate and ampullary gland once they are gorged from emissions is pleasurable.
GOALS:
Learn to resist the lure of an orgasm you have actually begun. The temptation to continue stroking yourself is very strong at this point. Practice this exercise until you enter the emissions phase fully relaxed. Your seminal vesicles will harden and discharge into your ampullary gland, but no fluid will leak into your urethra.
Observe how much better penile stimulation feels when your sex organs are gorged with sperm, ampullary gland, and seminal fluids.
V. SEMINAL VESICLES HARD FIVE TIMES
Build up sexual tension with several close stop and go's, then proceed to approach the threshold of the ejaculatory reflex. Be careful to cease stimulation and relax fully just as you begin to enter the emissions phase of your orgasm. Sometimes at this point your seminal vesicles will harden. Let your excitement wane, then come close to the point of no return again. Practice reaching the ejaculatory reflex threshold so that you harden your seminal vesicles at least five times. Semen will accumulate each time the seminal vesicles harden. Now contract your bulbospongiosus (piss stopper) muscle and feel semen push back up into the ampullary gland...FEELS GOOD! Notice the increased quantity of semen ejaculated when you finally cum.
GOALS:
Build up semen pressure behind your ejaculatory ducts valves.
Manipulate the fluid in your internal sex organs.
Learn to harden your seminal vesicle without causing penile contractions or leaking semen.
VI. RESIST THE ULTIMATE TEMPTATION
Gorge your internal sex organs with semen, reaching seminal vesicle hardening at least five times then stop...take out the trash or something. Be careful to protect your tender balls. Let your level of excitement drop completely, then resume the seminal vesicle hardening.
Be very careful to build up your excitement slowly with a few stop and go's before attempting a seminal vesicle hardening. Proceeding too fast can cause uncomfortable leakage of semen.
GOALS:
Learn how much excitement is required before attempting a seminal vesicle hardening.
Stop your masturbation session for at least two hours. You will be totally horny. Resist the lure! Try to spend one night with your sex organs gorged.
Gain complete control of when you have an ejaculatory orgasm.
VII. SO CLOSE CONTINUOUSLY
Build up to five seminal vesicle hardenings, relax and fill your ejaculatory ducts, then contract your piss stopper muscle and push the semen up into your ampullary gland.
Get as close to your ejaculatory orgasm as you can without crossing the reflex response threshold. Now practice close-relax-harden-contract, and again close-relax-harden-contract repeatedly, in rapid succession. Ultimately, you will enter a state of nearly continuous relaxed muscle orgasm emission phases. Your swollen testes and throbbing spermatic cords will orgasm. Orgasm emission pleasure from your ampullary gland are amplified by the accumulating fluid and especially fluid pressure in your ejaculatory ducts. The rapid succession of emissions orgasms becomes a continuous orgasm with ejaculation.
GOALS:
Learn to harden your seminal vesicles at will.
Learn to harden your seminal vesicles in rapid succession.
Practice staying very close to an ejaculatory orgasm, almost continuously feeling a hardening of your seminal vesicles.
Hold your orgasm at the continuous emissions phase endlessly.
Learn to maintain your emissions orgasm mentally; by concentrating on producing emissions, enough pleasure can be generated to perpetuate those emissions...without penile stimulation!
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Special Cunnilingus Techniques and Secrets
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Posted:Nov 16, 2016 5:25 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2024 5:6 am
6124 Views
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The best part of sex, in my far-from-humble opinion, is the pleasure you can cause in your partner(s).
While being stimulated by your partner is certainly far better (for most people, if their partner's any good at it) than masturbation, it is still pretty much the same, only better.
Going down on a lover, on the other hand, allows you to get a kind of pleasure that you cannot give yourself, even in part; the vicarious or empathic response you get from their reactions.
The techniques here, therefore, are centered around cunnilingus, including (since there's no separate name) using your fingers. Along a similar line I've now written Advanced Fellatio Techniques and Secrets. This was learned as a subject, not performer, but with the same quality of skill involved. Because of the number of questions I received on the subject, I also have Advanced Anal Sex Techniques, for those who want to know about that.
Basic Guidelines:
"Less" is always the best way to start out if you don't know exactly what a specific person likes. It's much safer to build up from "not enough" than to try to back down after shattering the mood by being too rough. The final argument to ensure that you always apply this rule is this -- If you start out "too" gentle/slowly, in most cases this just excites your lover more, even in the rare cases that it frustrates her a little. But if you start out "too" rough for her, it almost always turns her off to the whole thing.
The differences between women cannot be emphasized enough -- no matter what you have encountered so far, always assume that you have no idea what a new partner enjoys. It is entirely possible to have had many lovers, and think
A. They are all pretty much the same or
B. You've learned all of the variations, and can tell who's what.
But this can be (and usually is) just a matter of random chance...you happened to get several similar lovers. Eventually you will run into someone, or many people, who are completely different than those you've known before.
Don't start by going down on her. Work your way up to it. Exceptions may be if you're in a hurry before your Press Secretary shows up, or other situations where you're expected to act more directly. It's worth observing that "work your way up to it" remains true no matter how many times you've been with that lover. With a long-term lover it may seem like you can get right to the direct stuff, but working your way up still has the same effect of increasing her excitement, with most women.
Along the same line of reasoning, don't start licking her clitoris immediately, when you do get there. Start with the area around it, which can be pretty sensitive with some women, even if it doesn't seem to cause the same dramatic response.
Even more important is to not immediately start inserting fingers in her vagina. With most women, that really needs to be built up, first. It usually doesn't hurt to build up a little, even if she's already excited.
Remember this -- Most often, the tongue works best with the clitoris, the fingers with the vagina/g-spot. Someone else's fingers on her clitoris tends to be a little rough, no matter how careful they are...and almost all of the excitement she gets from attempting to lick into her vagina is psychological; she can't really feel much that way.
Hand Care: It's best to be sure your fingernail edges are very smooth, and preferably cut all the way down to where they connect to your skin. No matter how careful you are, they are likely to cause her to get a little sore inside, or even really hurt, feeling like a knife cutting her. This can even be the cause of soreness that she doesn't realize is being caused by your nails. Being a guitarist, I have the nails on my left hand trimmed back as far as I can cut them, anyway. Guitar also gives one's fret-hand amazing endurance and finesse, for g-spot stimulation and other tricks.
Dental Dams: These are, in most cases, just plain silly. Unlike almost any other form of sexual activity, the odds of you transmitting or catching AIDS this way are almost zero. There are almost no cases of any female homosexuals, for instance, even claiming to have caught AIDS this way. In case you're wondering what the hell I'm talking about, a "dental dam" is simply a condom cut in half lengthwise and used to keep fluids from passing between mouth and vulva. And it's being advocated primarily by people who are simply jealous that they're missing out on a great chance to be a "victim" in the issue of sexually transmitted diseases.
Interesting note -- A little noise on your part usually doesn't hurt, and sometimes it helps. Some women are very hung up on cunnilingus, determined to believe that, no matter how much you say otherwise (and she claims to believe you), it may be at least a little unpleasant for you. If you're excited by her responses, or by the act itself, don't try to stay quiet about it. The same kind of sounds that will reassure and excite a lover when they're pleasuring you will often work when you're pleasuring them, too. This could be considered a secret weapon in sex in general, because most guys are rather quiet, and yet women almost always find responsiveness very exciting. The contrast between someone who's responsive and most of the other guys makes it even more effective than it would already have been.
More Advanced Techniques:
The G-Spot
This does exist. And in over half of the women out there, it works better than anything else you can do to cause a strong, prolonged orgasm. The original name is the Grafenberg spot, after a doctor, Earnest Grafenberg, who documented the area (which may have been known by people here and there throughout history) in the fifties.
This "spot" is a small "mound" of tissue inside the vagina, between a penny and quarter in size, which responds to being pressed upon. It's almost certainly not the skenes glands, (which are located around the urethra, which is behind the G-spot area), as has been suggested by a few people. In fact, the G-Spot is the tissue in that raised area of the vagina, which has a higher concentration of sexual nerves, and produces hormones similar to those made by the male's prostate gland.
A sort of map to the area -- Imagine your lover lying on her back, legs spread. Your position is between her legs. You would slide a finger inside her vagina, palm up. With your finger straight back, middle finger is best, you would curve it toward yourself, gently, as if you were gesturing to someone to "come here". In doing so, the area you press on should be pretty near her "G-Spot" area. If you know enough to follow the urethra (the tube that leads from the bladder to where the pee comes out), along the inside of her vagina, you may feel a slight swelling (if she's excited) at the point where the g-spot is.
She must be excited, especially if either you or she is new to the g-spot, for the g-spot to have any real effect at all. It's not the ideal area for getting your lover aroused.
But when she is excited, this area (more often than not) is the best way to bring her to orgasm. You work your way back to it gradually, teasing her (typically, this works best) with your fingers, slowly and gently. It's easier to hit the right area with two fingers, but this may not be comfortable for her, depending on how "tight" she is at that moment. When you have your fingers around the right area, try gently pressing, not too quickly. The movement should be fairly rhythmic. It's typically best if you're licking her clitoris (or near it, depending on the woman) at the same time...don't make a big deal out of the "quest", this will often make her feel self-conscious, or distracted. The licking should seem to be the primary activity.
When you find the right area, she should respond by getting more excited. Most of the vagina's inside surface isn't really that sexually sensitive, believe it or not...most of the excitement of randomly inserting fingers is more psychological than from the actual stimulation.
While more complicated techniques work with some women, some of the time, the best basic technique, upon finding the g-spot, is to continue to slowly, rhythmically press on it, while licking her clitoris (for a few women, the labia (lips) are sensitive to licking, too).
This should cause her to build up to an orgasm.
A G-Spot orgasm is different (always, when it works at all) than any other kind women have. It is possible, with some women, to have different qualities and kinds of orgasms from vaginal, clitoral, anal, and even breast stimulation...but with other women, those kinds of orgasms are all pretty much the same. But the G-Spot orgasm not only feels different; it also causes her body to react in a different way.
First, it often causes a "push out" orgasm. The area around, or "above" (farther inside, that is) your fingers seems to swell up or to contract toward the opening of her vagina.
If you find the right combination of pushing back when this happens, and slacking off to let it push out, you can cause (in perhaps half of the women) her orgasm to continue happening, long after normal ones would have subsided. In some women you can even keep her at a "plateau" (raised level) of sexual excitement, like a prolonged orgasm (or a little less than one) afterward, building up to an even bigger climax. I've managed to keep this pattern of build-up, orgasm, plateau, orgasm, build-up, orgasm for over four hours, with one lover. We stopped when, though she wanted to go on, she was so exhausted that she really had to stop.
That brings me to another important point; G-Spot orgasms sometimes (less than half of the women, I'd guess, and in some of those women only occasionally) causes a huge amount (relatively speaking) of lubrication (juices, wetness)...far more than even the most excited woman gets from "conventional" stimulation. It's a good thing, too, because otherwise g-spot orgasms can only be prolonged for as long as she does not get raw/sore from it...which is yet another reason to be gentle.
When that extra wetness combines with the push-out orgasm, you get actual ejaculation...like a guy, but much better tasting. The built up juices can shoot out in such volume that you, or she, may be afraid that she lost control of her bladder. That is (almost always) not what happened. The fear that she peed can be enhanced by the fact that the urethra is behind the g-spot, so that in rare cases the woman can sometimes get the feeling that she needs to pee, even though she does not.
In reality, in both men and women, enough sexual excitement prevents peeing, unless you try really hard. This is a built-in reflex, because urine is something of a spermicide. The "pee hard-on" that men get in the morning is partially his body taking advantage of this reflex, to keep him from accidentally wetting the bed with the urine that built up while he was sleeping.
Licking the Alphabet
Believe it or not, Sam Kinnison's suggestion of licking the alphabet, one letter at a time, on and around her clitoris/vulva actually works. I had come up with a similar technique myself, but his version is pretty close to the perfect formula -- The real goal is to be able to keep regular, rhythmic motions going, but to change them in some gradual pattern that isn't so different it throws her off, but isn't so redundant that she grows insensitive to it. The alphabet is probably the longest chain of shapes that you can be sure to repeat smoothly and rhythmically, without loosing track of where you are. Unless you are a victim of public education, I suppose, in which case you may have to stick to the letters of your name, or the numbers one through nine (being too confused by where to put the zero).
I would not suggest combining this with the g-spot stimulation, at least not with the intention of really giving her g-spot orgasms. The two techniques conflict a bit, as the focus of arousal is so different.
Cough Drops - Nothing to Sneeze At
After you've thought about it for a while, this will seem obvious. Just remember that it probably wasn't, until a minute ago...
The way a cough drop, either menthol or mint, works is to stimulate the mucus membranes in your mouth in the special way that feels "cool and tingly". Well, one of the few other places (easily accessible) on the human body that has mucus membranes is the vaginal area. Many people find that, correctly applied, a cough drop feels just spectacular down there. Most people at least find it a very...ah...refreshing change of pace.
A few important tips:
1. Use sugar-free cough drops. N'ice is a great brand, especially the menthol or mint versions. If possible, find one (whatever brand) with both menthol and mint. It's actually possible that sugar cough drops are just fine, or even better...the debate is over whether the sugar might feed an already existing yeast infection. The things I've heard from semi-expert (medically) people are that it may feed one (and thus aggrevate it), that it actually will protect from yeast infection (I forget the reasoning, it may have been a Ph thing), or that it's not the kind of yeast that eats sugar anyway. One thing's unanimous: sugar cough drops won't make any difference unless you're already infected, they don't carry that kind of yeast. In fact, a human's fingers or tongue would be more likely to (and even that is pretty unlikely, if they're of even typical cleanliness).
2. Let the drop become even more rounded and smoothed by sucking on it for a while, if you're actually going to apply it inside (which is the most effective way).
3. Speaking of which, the best thing to do is actually insert it with your fingers. This only works if you're going to be using your fingers during the cunnilingus, though an alternative is to leave it there for a while and then engage in coitus, which can be pretty nifty for both parties.
4. If not insertion, the best way is to simply suck on it and then, with cough-droppy saliva, lick her as you would have done anyway,perhaps using the Alphabet method. This isn't quite as amazing, but is still pretty good.
5. Altoids are supposed to be pretty good, but they're very powerful. I haven't yet verified whether they work, though Don & Mike (Radio Gods) unintentionally made a big deal of it recently. They admitted they were working from a position of ignorance, much like their reviews of movies they have never seen.
6. Don't forget to try breathing on, or blowing lightly on, her vagina/clitoris. The effect is more subtle until you try this... it's the exposure to air that makes it especially tingly.
Just for Noel
When Christmas time rolls around, some stores sell a kind of candy cane that's over an inch thick and six or eight inches long at the straight part (it may not even have the hooked part at all).
Take one end of that, and suck/lick it until it is more rounded and smooth, and you have one of the most entertaining objects you might ever insert in your lover's vagina. It has that special minty feeling, like a cough drop but milder, and is the approximate size/shape of a penis.
Butt-Free Anal Stimulation
I like making up titles.
The vagina actually shares a wall, on one side, with the rectum. Not only does this mean that sexual stimulation is possible from anal entry (which is a whole separate page), it also means that a similar sensation can be acheived without ever touching her butt (not that there's anything wrong with that...heh) by stimulating the side of her vagina where it shares nerves with her rectum. This is more or less the exact opposite, one hundred eighty degrees around, from the g-spot. In other words, if you were to reach in and arch your finger to touch her g-spot, then rotate your hand to face the exact other direction and make a similar (but flatter) motion, you've got the right area. Common sense should tell you where I'm talking about, anyway, since it's the area where it would touch her rectum, inside.
It rarely works well to stimulate this early on...usually you need to not only build up to it, but even get her pretty excited and sensitive first. This is not only to make the area more receptive, but also, in some cases, so that she will be beyond any danger of distraction over the tabooness of how it feels somewhat like you're stimulating her anally.
Press more with the length of your finger, not the tip. This works best, in many cases, as a change of pace, not the main attraction. Which leads us to...
Around the World -- or the Sea, Anyway
Once you have your lover "used to" the whole g-spot stimulation thing (she will actually get "better at" cumming from g-spot stimulation, the more it's done to her), you can try, occasionally and for variety, stimulating her g-spot until she starts to really respond, then switching back and forth between pushing (as gently as normally necessary for that particular lover) her g-spot and pressing the length of your finger on the opposite side, as per the last section. Sometimes you can even get to the point of doing one press on one side, one on the other, back and forth, which can feel amazing and a bit "what on earth are you doing? No, I didn't say to stop" to her. Most likely, though, it'll work better if you switch every several seconds, not every time you press.
Around the World -- Part II
I should not fail to mention the cervix. You may not have even noticed it, by touch, but it's there and once you find it you'll wonder how you missed it (unless your lover has had histerectomy, in which case it's missing, no big deal). This is yet another area where you definitely want to build up to stimulating, as it can actually be painful to even touch if she's not excited enough...but, despite assumptions to the contrary, it can be very useful for stimulation, done correctly.
As I said, issue #1 is that she must be very aroused. Well, bearing in mind that everyone's different, of course.
The Cervix is also about 180 degrees around from the g-spot, but it's in much deeper (typically). It leads back to the rest of her reproductive organs, like the womb. If she's pregnant, don't mess with this at all. Watch out, too, for IUDs and diaphrams and the like. Hopefully you are on good enough terms with her to already know if she's using one of these contraceptive devices, which fit over the cervix.
The cervix is not an abtract "area", it actually juts up, like a little flesh mesa or something. It has an opening at its very "peak", but this is normally closed pretty tightly.
The best way to start is to gently caress around the sides and base of the cervix. Remember, she should already be very "hot" before you even start this part. Eventually, build up to circling it with one or two fingers, around and around, gently staying in contact with it so she can feel the motion through the cervix itself. How hard you can press depends a lot on the specific woman. This is also something that probably works better as a change of pace, not the "main course" of the cunnilingus session...unless she really gets into it.
That circling motion may get another round of "what on earth are you doing...hey! Don't STOP doing it!".
You may even, and in my experience this rarely works, but works well when it does, be able to press directly on the tip, with your finger or fingers, pressing it the way a penis might if one happened be entering her at the right angle to hit her cervix.
Actual Anal Stimulation
This works very well with cunnilingus, if the woman is comfortable with it. In fact, it has its own section on the Advanced Anal Sex Techniques page...I won't go into any real detail here but to point you to that page.
Comments/Appendices:
Taste
Anyone who likes, say, coffee or beer should have no room to complain about the way most women taste. No, I don't mean it tastes like coffee or beer, genius...I mean that beer and coffee are, at best, acquired tastes...they are not naturally pleasant to a human being, no matter how much your addiction to one or both has convinced you otherwise. Most people, whether they remember it or not, had to learn to like the taste of beer/coffee, and had the desire to be Like the Adults to help them along. Well, I'd list taking pleasure in cunnilingus above drinking addictive beverages on the list of things that prove maturity. Aside from that, there's the fact that many people who give it an honest try genuinely enjoy the taste/smell, myself included. Had I not liked it, for some reason, I would have simply taught myself to like it, because of the great pleasure it can bring. Aside from whether you find the taste/smell sexually exciting to begin with (and, because of pheromones, males (at least) should), surely it will become ever more stimulating for you as you come to associate it with the pleasure you can give.
Rest
If you do have a lover who can experience repeated, extended orgasms from g-spot stimulation, and you (for some reason) need to take a break, the absolute best way to do this is to give her a clitoral orgasm. This can be as simple as pushing even more gently and slowly on her g-spot, while giving her clitoris more attention (it can often take more direct and firm stimulation by that level of arousal), so that her next orgasm is really caused by the licking, not the pressing of your finger(s). This works because, with many women anyway, clitoral orgasms leave her feeling very sensitive, and momentarily satisfied (or at least wanting to take a breather).
There is, on the other hand, a very interesting trick for staying "in the game" when your tongue is getting tired. Switch from moving your tongue directly, to using your whole jaw to move your tongue, by slightly opening and closing it. If you tire of this, move your entire head, so that it's doing the actual work that makes your tongue move. When even your neck tires, it's on to the final backup-plan, but the one that works the longest; gently rock your entire body back and forth, at the same speed that you were doing each of the other, so that it's your body that's actually doing the work to move your tongue. For someone who hasn't built up the mighty endurance that's useful with a lover who can have hours of orgasms, this is a great trick. Of course it mainly works when you're going simpler, rhythmic motions...save the fancy tongue stuff for when your tongue's doing all of the work (you should be able to switch back to tongue-only motion regularly, as it gets rested).
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CONTINUOUS MALE ORGASMS
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Posted:Nov 8, 2016 1:27 pm
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2024 5:6 am
7520 Views
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CONTINUOUS MALE ORGASMS
Several years ago I learned that by getting extremely close to the threshold of ejaculatory inevitability, then halting all stimulation, then getting "close" again repeatedly, I would achieve a continuous plateau stage with frequent partial orgasms. The resultant intensity of pleasure is possibly one half that felt in a full ejaculatory orgasm but potentially unending. Furthermore, the associated sexual organs exercise, and the learned ability to better control those organs mentally, has greatly increased the scope and persuasiveness of my sexual pleasure. It is my opinion that I have learned to enhance and maintain indefinitely the physical events and associated pleasure of an absolutely imminent ejaculatory orgasm. Feelings of pleasure are augmented by greater loin vasocongestion, and sexual organ fluid fullness and readiness. The following discussion attempts to teach men how to achieve a continuous orgasm, and to explain the physiological basis of this phenomenon.
My discovery of the continuous orgasm was accidental, but recounting the event may help others separate their orgasm and ejaculatory experiences. The first time I experienced the potential of this technique I was masturbating while stoned on pot. Stimulation to my penis felt somewhat dulled. I got close to cumming but sensed that my orgasm was going to be weak, so I stopped all stimulation, knowing that I could build up to a better orgasm. When I was able to resume penile stimulation I noticed the pleasure of touching my penis was greater...so I came close to cumming again and again...and it felt better and better. Possibly five "close calls" later, my prostate had swollen and my seminal vesicles hardened and discharged but no semen flowed into my urethra. Pot seems to broaden the threshold between my orgasm emissions phase and the ejaculatory reflex. Intense pleasure emanated from my testes, which were swollen and drawn under the tissue aside my penis. Possibly forty minutes into this routine my loin muscles began to ache, so I proceeded to the most intensely pleasurable orgasm and high quantity ejaculation I had ever had! Long afterward my loins continued to radiate an enjoyable ache. I had given all my sexual organ muscles a hearty exercising. I eagerly anticipated my next masturbation session, with delay dictated by my need to reload with semen.
I no longer use, nor do I advocate the use of pot because of its damaging effect on the lungs. Possibly marijuana brownies will do the trick. Again, pot use helped me control and broaden the threshold of ejaculatory inevitability, thus facilitating the learning of the continuous orgasm. Pot use also has a strong aphrodisiac effect when I entertained myself in this pre-ejaculation orgasm stage. Feelings of pleasure (sex munchies) are enhanced. For several months, without pot, I rarely achieved intense orgasm feelings without eliciting a few spasmodic pumping throbs and ejaculating small amounts of seminal fluid. With practice though, use of pot is not necessary to enjoy an orgasm without ejaculation. Practice results in discoveries of higher degrees of sexual pleasure and sensations, so it is easy to exercise!
At this point I would like to discuss the physiology of the male ejaculatory orgasm. Reference books describe the event in stages involving sexual organ vasocongestion, rising to the plateau stage, then the orgasm which consists of internal sexual organ emissions and the ejaculation reflex response. Actually, events beyond the plateau phase can be broken into many additional stages. My first sensations come from my testes, which draw up into my body. When men first sense the arrival of their orgasm, those feelings emanate from the epididymis and the spermatic cords which contract and spasm to move sperm up the ductus (vas) deferns into the ampullary gland or ampulla. The ampulla filling with sperm accentuates sexual stimulation pleasure. Continued penile stimulation soon triggers a hardening of the seminal vesicles which discharge fluid into the ampulla then into the ejaculatory ducts. Sufficient pressure quickly builds in the ejaculatory ducts to trigger a hardening of the prostate, which discharges directly into the urethra. Ejaculation is inevitable once the prostate hardens. Finally, the valves at the ends of the ejaculatory ducts open simultaneously with the initiation of the ejaculation reflex. Semen discharged from the penis comes in a distinct sequence of partially mixed emissions: 1.prostatic fluid (10; 2. sperm (5 and ampullary gland fluid (10; 3. seminal fluid (70 and again; 4. prostatic fluid (5.
Note that there are valves at the ends of the ejaculatory ducts and that fluids pressure triggers the ejaculation reflex. I evidently orgasm and discharge sperm, ampullary gland, and seminal vesicle fluid into the ejaculatory ducts without triggering ejaculation or the opening those valves. I have trained myself to lock the ejaculatory duct valves closed during these emissions. The key is WHEN YOU GET VERY CLOSE TO EJACULATORY INEVITABILITY COMPLETELY RELAX ALL SEXUAL ORGAN MUSCLES, AND CEASE STIMULATION TO THE PENIS. This muscle relaxation locks the ejaculatory ducts valves closed, even as the seminal vesicles proceed to harden and discharge. Ampullary gland fluid, sperm and seminal fluid pressure builds behind the duct valves. Stopping stimulation to the penis halts the orgasmic emissions pressure driven progression to the ejaculation reflex.
With experience and exercise, I have raised the pressure level required to trigger the ejaculation reflex response. I sense exactly how much more pressure can build before crossing the threshold to ejaculatory inevitability. My orgasms are stronger and ultimately continuous without triggering ejaculation. My seminal vesicles harden right after I have nearly cum; hence they are almost constantly hard and discharging. My prostate swells without hardening, currently to about just half as much during a full ejaculatory orgasm. Every approach to ejaculation increases the amount of fluid held in the ampulla, with an associated increase in pleasure and passion of sexual readiness.
The presence of sperm, ampullary gland, and seminal fluid in my ejaculatory ducts is evidenced sensations I can produce after nearly cumming. Shortly after ceasing stimulation I can contract my bulbospongiosus muscle and thereby press on my prostate and feel the fluids being pushed back up into the ampulla and seminal vesicles. This feeling of fluid movement and fullness is very pleasurable. I can stop masturbating, and hours (days) later still feel the semen in my loins eager for release. My testes also feel full and are slightly sensitive to jostling.
Notice my descriptions of the physical changes to internal sexual organs that occur during an orgasm and ejaculation. By placing a middle finger into your rectum the hardening of the seminal vesicles and prostate can be palpitated digitally. Softly massaging the prostate and ampulla when they are gorged from orgasmic filling is pleasurable. The ampullary gland is the triangular organ, point facing downward, that lies just above the prostate.
Four final observations can be made. First, it seems that over time my sexual organs and/or testes are producing more sperm. I easily cum twice daily (at 41 years old), and after just 48 hours of abstinence fluids build up to a sense of fullness that demands release. That sense of fullness comes from my testes. Secondly, I can generate a strong feeling of sexual excitement mentally at will. I am able to elicit a feeling of sexual rush at will, by mentally inducing contractions in my epididymis and spermatic cord causing sperm movement up my ductus (vas) deferens. The sperm rising to fill my ampullary gland raises my level of sexual excitement. My scrotum and spermatic cords move my testes around when I generate these pleasure sensations. Thirdly, I an now working on maintaining orgasms without stimulation to my penis. Once a high degree of fluid pressure has accumulated behind the ejaculatory ducts valves, I can induce contractions in my epididymis and spermatic cord thereby generate sexual stimulation. This stimulation maintains my continuous orgasm and can trigger the ejaculatory reflex. Finally, my forth observation is that the ability to enjoy orgasms while delaying ejaculation makes me a better lover. I am in no hurry, my partner is excited by my level of readyness and periodic dry penile throbs. I am satisfied and concentrate on giving pleasure.
PRACTICE GUIDE TO THE CONTINUOUS MALE ORGASM
Learn to enhance and maintain indefinitely the physiological events and associated pleasure of the emissions phase of an absolutely imminent ejaculatory orgasm! Just follow this step-by-step practice guide:
I. "STOP AND GO" MASTURBATING
When you begin to feel an orgasms approach, cease all penile stimulation. Let your level of excitement drop slightly, then approach another orgasm. Repeat this "stop and go" approach to an orgasm at least five times. Notice that stimulation to your penis feels better and better. On the sixth approach bear down hard with your bulbospongiosus (piss stopper) muscle but slow down your stroking as you reach the point of no return. The reduced stimulation to the penis permits the pleasure of sexual organ emissions drive you to the full ejaculatory orgasm. Notice the increased volume and intensity of your orgasm.
GOALS:
Learn to resist the temptation of the orgasm; just as your penis feels really great to stroke...stop. You will discover that the avoidance of immediate pleasure will bring greater pleasure.
Strengthen your sexual organ muscles.
Increase your mental control over orgasms.
Learn to measure the approach of your orgasm.
Feel the emissions phase as separate from the ejaculatory phase of an orgasm.
II. RECTAL MONITOR
Practice the Stop and Go technique. When you are ready to orgasm lube up your middle finger and stick it up your butt! Feel around your prostate (walnut sized organ one inch past your anus) then put your finger all the way in, past the prostate. With your finger probing above the prostate proceed to orgasm.
GOALS:
Learn how good it feels to massage your prostate and ampullary gland. Feel how your internal sex organs harden during an orgasm. The ampullary gland is felt when hard as triangular just above the prostate. The seminal vesicles are the firm cords running down into the ampullary gland.
III. RELAXATION WHEN CLOSE:
Practice Stop and Go approaches to an orgasm, but try to get a little closer to the point of no return. When you get close, stop stroking your penis and completely relax all sex muscles. Concentrate especially on relaxing your bulbospongiosus (piss stopper) muscle. Let your level of excitement drop, but less so, before resuming the approach to another orgasm. Relax completely each time you are near an orgasm and stop sexual stimulation. Notice that relaxation helps to extinguish the orgasm feelings.
GOALS:
Learn to resist the lure of an orgasm which is now closer. You must relax just when your piss stopper muscle would naturally bear down, and stop stroking just when it feel really good.
Learn to more quickly resume penile stimulation after stopping.
Learn to get closer and closer to ejaculatory inevitability without passing that threshold.
IV. CLOSE RELAX CLOSE RELAX SO CLOSE
Build up your level of sexual excitement first with at least five stop and go sessions, then try to get REAL CLOSE to an orgasm and RELAX all sex organ muscles. Get so close that you would have triggered an orgasm if you had not become fully relaxed. Your mission is continue to feel the orgasms approach for a few seconds even though you are not stimulating your penis. The lure to stroke yourself is very strong at this point but resist! With practice you will briefly enter the sex organs emissions phase without ejaculating. Relaxing will suppress your ejaculatory reflex response and help keep semen retained behind the ejaculatory ducts valves. Semen pressure will build in the ampullary gland. A soft finger massage of the prostate and ampullary gland once they are gorged from emissions is pleasurable.
GOALS:
Learn to resist the lure of an orgasm you have actually begun. The temptation to continue stroking yourself is very strong at this point. Practice this exercise until you enter the emissions phase fully relaxed. Your seminal vesicles will harden and discharge into your ampullary gland, but no fluid will leak into your urethra.
Observe how much better penile stimulation feels when your sex organs are gorged with sperm, ampullary gland, and seminal fluids.
V. SEMINAL VESICLES HARD FIVE TIMES
Build up sexual tension with several close stop and go's, then proceed to approach the threshold of the ejaculatory reflex. Be careful to cease stimulation and relax fully just as you begin to enter the emissions phase of your orgasm. Sometimes at this point your seminal vesicles will harden. Let your excitement wane, then come close to the point of no return again. Practice reaching the ejaculatory reflex threshold so that you harden your seminal vesicles at least five times. Semen will accumulate each time the seminal vesicles harden. Now contract your bulbospongiosus (piss stopper) muscle and feel semen push back up into the ampullary gland...FEELS GOOD! Notice the increased quantity of semen ejaculated when you finally cum.
GOALS:
Build up semen pressure behind your ejaculatory ducts valves.
Manipulate the fluid in your internal sex organs.
Learn to harden your seminal vesicle without causing penile contractions or leaking semen.
VI. RESIST THE ULTIMATE TEMPTATION
Gorge your internal sex organs with semen, reaching seminal vesicle hardening at least five times then stop...take out the trash or something. Be careful to protect your tender balls. Let your level of excitement drop completely, then resume the seminal vesicle hardening.
Be very careful to build up your excitement slowly with a few stop and go's before attempting a seminal vesicle hardening. Proceeding too fast can cause uncomfortable leakage of semen.
GOALS:
Learn how much excitement is required before attempting a seminal vesicle hardening.
Stop your masturbation session for at least two hours. You will be totally horny. Resist the lure! Try to spend one night with your sex organs gorged.
Gain complete control of when you have an ejaculatory orgasm.
VII. SO CLOSE CONTINUOUSLY
Build up to five seminal vesicle hardenings, relax and fill your ejaculatory ducts, then contract your piss stopper muscle and push the semen up into your ampullary gland.
Get as close to your ejaculatory orgasm as you can without crossing the reflex response threshold. Now practice close-relax-harden-contract, and again close-relax-harden-contract repeatedly, in rapid succession. Ultimately, you will enter a state of nearly continuous relaxed muscle orgasm emission phases. Your swollen testes and throbbing spermatic cords will orgasm. Orgasm emission pleasure from your ampullary gland are amplified by the accumulating fluid and especially fluid pressure in your ejaculatory ducts. The rapid succession of emissions orgasms becomes a continuous orgasm with ejaculation.
GOALS:
Learn to harden your seminal vesicles at will.
Learn to harden your seminal vesicles in rapid succession.
Practice staying very close to an ejaculatory orgasm, almost continuously feeling a hardening of your seminal vesicles.
Hold your orgasm at the continuous emissions phase endlessly.
Learn to maintain your emissions orgasm mentally; by concentrating on producing emissions, enough pleasure can be generated to perpetuate those emissions...without penile stimulation!
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Advanced Anal Sex Techniques and Secrets
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Posted:Oct 17, 2016 9:47 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2024 5:6 am
8335 Views
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Advanced Anal Sex Techniques and Secrets
Having written the Advanced Cunnilingus Techniques page, and then the Advanced Fellatio Techniques page in response to reader demands, it seems that the next most common question I get is about various forms of anal sex (analingus, actual anal penetration with the penis or fingers). So, in keeping with my tendency to have an opinion on everything and be willing to let everyone know what it is, I have written this page on the subject.
Anal activities in sex are less talked about, and make many people feel more than a little uncomfortable. This is mainly because of the taboos about the butt, of course, and not because there's anything wrong with it, per se.
In fact, there is a unique form of pleasure to be gotten from anal stimulation, for a guy or girl. For men this is because of the prostate, which is an important sexual organ and can only be directly stimulated through anal contact, and on women it is because the rectum (sorry if you're not looking for technical terms, but I need to be specific) shares a wall with the vagina, and the sexual nerves are actually closer on that side, making the sensation different and sometimes actually stronger.
Anal sex is not always the #1 favorite, but it is certainly high on the list for many people, and can be a fun change of pace for almost anyone who isn't bothered too much by the taboos against it.
First, as always, a few basics.
Be Sensitive -- I mean this in several different ways.
First, it may be a difficult subject to bring up, if you and your lover haven't already discussed it. It's that taboo thing, again. There is a reasonable chance that they have already thought of it, and were afraid to bring it up themselves, but there's also a chance the idea would horrify them. Hopefully your relationship already involves open, relaxed, and frank discussion about sex, or else you probably should work on that long before you worry about testing the waters on this subject.
Second, the anus really isn't meant to be entered. Don't get me wrong; humans aren't really meant to fly, either...I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just saying you have to bear these little facts in mind. One should be very gentle when experimenting with these things.
An important example is never...ever try it on your lover for the first time without them expecting it, especially if we're talking about penetration with a penis or similarly large object. Trust me on this, please. If you've ever had a really big, hard BM (Bowel Movement), that was really painful, that's nothing compared to being caught off-guard by this. Not only are there better ways to go about it, but you may never get the chance to try again, if they're upset enough.
That's doom and gloomy enough, I think, now as for some more useful info.
Basics
Positions
For most anal sex, there are a few positions which make it easier to access the butt. These generally apply to analingus, actual anal sex, or even using fingers...though with fingers almost any sexual position might work, if both parties enjoy it.
The most basic is for your lover to be on their back, legs spread and/or knees pulled up. Put a pillow or two under their butt...this is a big help that's easily overlooked. In one way this is the most awkward of the positions, but it can be the easiest for your lover.
Another is for your lover to be on elbows and knees, as for doggie style sex. This is easier for access, but it also tends to require your lover to tighten their butt muscles a bit. This may work better if your lover has some support under their chest/belly to lean on, so they can relax more, and possibly even so they can lean forward a little, extending their legs out and to the side behind them, which might put things at an easier angle for access.
A third position is for them to be on their side. Their legs need to be in a scissors position, perhaps the upper one extended in front of them and the other straight "down" (as if they were standing), else the upper leg drawn up toward the chest or straight upward (bent, either way), and the lower leg in whatever position is comfortable.
Cleanliness
As always, this matters more to some people than others, but in this case it's a more popular issue than with just about any other kind of sex, for obvious reasons. First, having bathed more recently than the last BM is a good idea.
It's a good idea to have a bowel movement an hour or so before, to ensure that nothing is encountered during any penetration (unless you're into that, I suppose), and then bathe the area.
Other than basic cleaning like that, oil-based lubricants are a great insulator for anal contact. They tend to cover up any potential (or simply feared) smell and transfer of icky stuff. If you use Vaseline/petrolatum, for example, the odds are that a simple wiping off with a dry cloth will result in finger/penis/whatever seeming to be just about perfectly clean. Again, this may not matter to some people, but it's worth mention because it is crucial to others.
To some people, enemas may seem like overkill, or even to be grosser than not having one before anal sex anyway. But they certainly do bear mention, in case this sounds like a good idea to you (feeling comfortable with things like cleanliness are potentially very important). This is especially worth considering in actual penis penetration, since one gets a lot deeper than even the most dilligent bathing process is going to be able to clean. But it is still not a really common practice, even for actual penetration. Of course a few people even find enemas to be sexually exciting themselves.
Lubrication
With anal sex of any kind, lubrication is worth seriously considering. And oil-based lubricants tend to work better, because of the treater pressure/texture involved. Drying out like water-based lubricants do is a more serious problem than with other kinds of sex. Bear in mind, of course, that oil-based lubricants are a threat to a latex condom, which will be damaged by it. That aside, vaseline is the best, in the case of anal sex, because it will stay in place and lubricate much more determinedly than thinner lubricants, and yet not provide its own resistence like thicker ones will. Cocoa butter would be my #2 suggestion. Some kinds of massage oil can work well. Baby oil and other similarly thin substances are way down on the list, as the lubrication they provide is rather weak/watery, for oils.
That's all for the basics...except that I will address the whole thing from the ground up, dedicating much more time to "how to get started" in this article than in the cunnilingus and fellatio articles. The reasons for this include the fact that this can be far more painful if done wrong, the fact that it's more taboo and thus worrisome to some people, and the fact that it's rarer...even thinking in detail about it is rarer...and thus more people are more likely to need to go over the basics. Oh, and the basics can be much more complicated, too. A penis in a mouth or a licking of a clitoris is a lot easier to get started in an "acceptable" way than a painless penetration of an anus.
Analingus
We'll start with this, because it's pretty simple. No worry about accidentally hurting anyone.
Work your way up to it -- as with any sex, it is often best to start out gradually, even away from errogenous zones completely. Remember how you used to fool around for hours before sex? It was pretty exciting, wasn't it. Anyway, even after you've gotten to the erogenous zones, you might consider performing cunnilingus/fellatio on them first. Simply work your way downward from there toward their anus, gradually.
No matter what position you're using, your hands, or your partner's will probably be necessary to make access easier. You have far more control and better contact if their butt-cheeks (is there a technical name for that?) are spread away from their actual anus.
What exactly to do, tongue-at-anus, varies a lot from person to person.
Some prefer a light flicking, gently licking around the center, or gently pushing at it.
Some prefer a deeper probing, with your tongue held rigid and pushed firmly inside.
Another method is to widen your tongue to apply pressure over the entire outside area...this is often much more stimulating than you'd imagine.
Another good idea is to try firmly licking, or even sucking on, the perrenium (the area between the anus and genitals. On a guy this is especially useful, because it indirectly stimulates both their balls and prostate.
The best method would be to combine all of these, and pay close attention to what your lover enjoys most. As in all sex, you would get them to believe in giving you a lot of feedback/signals, whether moaning, thrashing about, talking...whatever they are most comfortable with. They should increase or decrease this with their pleasure, so that you can learn what they like (it is different from person to person, this may be the most important secret of sex).
If you're going to engage in this for a long time, especially if you won't be switching back and forth between analingus and fellatio/cunnilingus for texture, you probably will want to provide some stimulation to their genitals, as analingus is a pretty mild form of contact that probably won't bring them to orgasm, or even keep them heavily stimulated, all by itself. The Cunnilingus and Fellatio pages on this site have some advice on hand-stimulation, which is often a vital part of oral sex.
Of course using your hands for their genitals will leave you short-handed for keeping their cheeks spread, so this is where recruiting them to do either the spreading or the stimulation is pretty useful.
The range of things one can do with analingus is a bit more limited than with cunnilingus and fellatio...but one reason for that is that the fingers need a separate section. Many people won't really want to do a lot of probing with their fingers while licking.
In fact, one might want to avoid using them even on the outside, because fingers are a lot stronger and firmer than a tongue, and so might make the licking part seem less obvious.
Finger Stimulation
As with analingus, the best way to start out, if you're going to be using your fingers, is to work up to it. This also is where techniques you use on men and women begin to differ significantly, so I'm going to have to start breaking up my advice a bit, near the end.
Fingers are, unlike a tongue, rough. This is true no matter how baby-smooth your hands are, or how well-manicured. It's more true, of course, if your hands are rough or not well manicured. Caring for them ahead of time with some hand-softening lotion and the careful removal of as much fingernail as comfortable is a good idea.
Fingernails, in fact, are an important consideration. Even being well-smoothed may not be enough. Being a guitarist, I happen to keep my nails on my left hand trimmed all the way to the skin, and smoothed as much as possible. This is a big help, but even it may not always be enough, depending on the sensitivity of the partner.
Rubber/latex gloves, especially the surgical kind, are definitely worth considering, especially if either of you are just starting to experiment with anal-finger stimulation (getting or giving). The difference it makes is just astounding...discomfort which was actually assumed to be from other issues (like being thought a matter of penetration itself, or nervous tightness) sometimes disappears completely. Since the idea here, unlike condoms, is not to actually keep fluids from being passed between you, oil-based lubricants can sometimes be used with latex gloves. Because the gloves are so helpful, though, a water-based lubricant (K-9, Wet, Anal-Ease, whatever) might work fine.
Gently touching the anus is a good way to get started, once you're worked up to it. Because this area's not really messed with as much, it can be exciting to just be touched there.
The next step might be gently circling it with your finger. Consider whether you're using lubrication and/or gloves as to how lightly you do this.Even without penetrating, there is a difference in sensation between pushing right in the middle, and pushing/circling the area right around the center.
Actual penetration usually takes some tact. It's generally important that you work your way up very gradually, gently stroking the region right around the opening, then pushing gently at the center but not actually penetrating. Actual penetration may, especially if you're not using both gloves and lubricant (and even more especially if either of you is new at this) be best accomplished by locating the exact opening (DO NOT assume you know where it is, try to make a point of eyeballing it, sometimes even your lover can be mistaken if they're trying to guide you), and then making a rhythmic pushing motion at it, very gently, and only penetrating perhaps a millimeter more each time, especially until you've gotten the rounded part of your finger well past their actual sphinctor muscle (the ring of muscle that squeezes to close their anus shut).
They should, as with penis penetration, make a point of relaxing as much as they can. Hopefully they did relieve themselves shortly before cleaning for this, so they should be able to relax a lot without fear of any accidents. In fact, a good way to ensure relaxing enough to allow entrance is to make what feels like a slight pushing motion, as if having a BM. Not a real pushing motion; much of the basic BM action is actually just a relaxing of the muscles in that area, and the internal intestinal pressure is what actually pushes the waste out. If they can comfortably isolate that relaxing motion from real pushing, they're almost sure to be able to relax enough for almost any kind of penetration.
OK, I'm going to have to diverge, now...male and female:
If your lover is male:
The key to anal sex with a male is the prostate. If your lover is lying on his back, his prostate is on the "up" side of his rectum, several inches inside. It is stimulated by any attention to the region, though, including the perrenium (the area between his balls and anus).
You can gently push/massage the perrenium with your fingers, even if you're not penetrating his anus.
If you are penetrating it, though, follow the paragraph above on the subject, and once you're well inside, work your way gradually to the prostate (on the rectal wall on the side toward his genitals). Make this very gradual, as hitting suddenly can either be very uncomfortable, or cause him to suddenly have an orgasm, before you actually planned it (drawing out the time until an orgasm is a very powerful way to make sex more pleasurable, and orgasms amazingly stronger). Yes, sudden, strong stimulation of the prostate can, in some people, cause spontaneous orgasm...but remember that it may, instead, just be really uncomfortable. Some people do like it, though.
Stimulating the prostate for a while, until orgasm, also causes both a much different feeling orgasm, and (theoretically) more "watery" ejaculate (the prostate provides lubricant, whereas the gonads/balls provide the actual sperm). This may be of interest to someone who, for whatever reason, doesn't like the taste of a guy's ejaculate and hasn't mastered the trick of swallowing without tasting it(link). Performing fellatio when using your fingers to stimulate his prostate is a very good idea, by the way.
If your lover is a woman -- First, this is even more directly tied to oral sex...or at least the sex-specific section for doing it to a woman is.
The best way to engage in anal finger-sex (well, I can't find an official name for it) is to be going down on her, and add the finger as a part of your techniques.
First, be sure to follow the generic advice above, especially for penetration, and the cunnilingus advice (including finger techniques for the vagina) from the cunnilingus page.
One great way to start stimulating her anus is to make incidental contact with it, while you're stimulating her vagina with your finger(s). You simply allow a finger to, in the course of keeping it out of your way, stretch back past her anus, so that your pressing motions will happen to incidentally press lightly there, too. You might even work your way up to allowing a pinky to press (be sure there's a lot of natural or artificial lubrication against the opening itself, and perhaps even work its way inside, a millimeter every dozen strokes or less.
I'm definitely not advocating "tricking" her...this should be something you've discussed before, at least enough to know that she's not specifically against it if it feels nice. It is, though, a good way to demonstrate, without pressuring her for some specific act, how it can be stimulating for her when you at least touch the outside of her anus.
Anyway, getting beyond the starting point, once everything's cleared for actual penetration, you work your way inside using exactly the same technique (assuming she or you are new to this)...have a different finger inside her vagina and make the main stimulation there, probably her g-spot, and let the anal penetration take a good, long time to actually progress. Lots of lubrication, and/or a latex surgical glove (surgical because this will interfere with sensation the least).
Once you're pretty well inside, concentrate (very gently) on stimulating the side nearest her vagina. A pressing motionis very helpful. In fact, you might not even do much sliding in and out, depending on how relaxed/excited (both at the same time, ideally) she is, and how well lubricated/gloved you are.
You might take several sessions to get to the point of actually concentrating your effort on the anal part, keeping it a secondary form of stimulation at first. But that depends on how well she enjoys it and how much discomfort, if any (some people are just "naturals", I guess) she encounters. Remember, gradual is safer, because you can always build up but if you go too far (this is true of any kind of sex) it may be hard to recapture the mood or continue the experiment.
Once/if she's really into it, one neat trick is to press along the same wall from both sides -- both press toward the rectum from the vagina, and toward the vagina from the rectum. The wall between them is thin enough that you will easily be able to feel each finger from the other one.
Make an effort to not swap fingers, though. The anus can, theoretically (I believe it's not common) carry common intestinal parasites that you'd never notice, but which might not have reached the vagina. We're not talking about any real major VD/STD or anything, but something her gynecologist might notice and complain about, anyway.
So assign one or two fingers to each opening, and keep them that way. In that case the "risk" is almost nil.
That's it for sex-specific finger stuff, for now.
Actual Anal Sex
You know, penetration with a penis, or some implement of destruction that substitutes for one. I'll refer to the penis, and if you are intending to use a vibrator or something, just substitute the word in your mind.
First, read all of the preliminary and finger stuff, because it all applies.
In fact, it is a very good idea to start out with fingers, even if your real goal is to you a penis. This allows your lover to get used to the feeling, and to relaxing their anus in the right way. It is even a good idea to work your way up to more than one finger. Bear in mind, though, that fingers are a great deal rougher (no matter how you care for them) than a penis, so be careful. If more than one finger is uncomfortable, and you're not going to use a glove, then skip multiple fingers (and remind your lover that a penis is smoother, if they're now worried).
Once you've worked your way up to the penis part, don't forget the importance of taking your time. You might even do some other things with it, first...coitus, for example, in the case of a female lover, or other contact between your penis and their genitals/thighs, in the case of either sex.
Stimulating your lover can be very important, especially to make the experience as pleasurable as possible for both parties. When working up to actual penetration, use your hands to stimulate your lover, probably taking a few things from the Advanced Cunnilingus/Fellatio Techniques pages, which both cover a lot of hand-techniques.
Don't forget, though, to be very careful about penetration. Done wrong, this can be more painful than, well, just about anything...childbirth, getting kicked in the 'nads, whatever. Done correctly, it's not painful at all, and can be very pleasurable.
Be careful about "hitting the hole". This is far more difficult to target than a vagina, if that's the experience you're going on. Enough light and a visual lining up is not that romantic, but is safest. This is also another reason to start out with finger penetration. There tends to be a slight softness, in some people, above or below the anus that can fool you, no matter the amount of care, into pushing at slightly the wrong angle or spot, so that neither of you realize it's wrong (yes, that's right, this mistake can be made even from inside your lover's body).
Don't miss my mention of angle, either. Because of the number of positions you might be using and the variety among individuals, I can't even begin to advise you on a specific angle as being the one to use...you need to figure this one out with a lot of care and observation. Just remember that most angles are the wrong one, so you need to make an effort to make it better than random.
Prior experimentation with fingers, again, would settle this problem before it even started, especially when they are also applied before (or even during, if fingers are turning out to be enjoyable) penile penetration. A fingertip already inside a relaxed lover can be the perfect guide, actually making insertion of the penis easier and less painful, believe it or not.
If the position allows, and you're both comfortable with the idea, you may also have your lover help guide you in (bearing in mind that they may not be able to tell, perfectly, either), which is helpful because they know what hurts and what doesn't. But you should still be using your own hand as well, so you can feel what they're doing and when to do what yourself.
Remember my admonishment about a millimeter at a time, for fingers? If not, go back and read it, because I'm skimming over things here that are vital, but which I covered in the finger section.
Go very slowly. The best method is probably to make a slight pumping motion, starting out just pushing slightly at the opening, not actually penetrating at all, and simply adding the tiniest, and I do mean tiny, bit of pressure each time. It should literally take you minutes to make any real progress.
A big factor, as with all of this, is your partner. The more they can relax, the better. This means both their mind, and their sphinctor/anus. The part about making what feels (but is not) a "push" like when you relax your anus to have a BM is a huge help. Again, not a real push, as one might do when constipated or in a hurry, just the relaxation of muscles which is actually what many people do when having a BM.
No amount of lubricant is too much, either, if there is any concern about pain.
The big key in getting through this is the initial penetration of the bulge of the penis' head getting past the actual anus' sphinctor muscle. Once this is past, sliding in (if at the right angle) should be nearly painless. There are guys, though, whose penis is shaped in such a way that it still gets wider along the shaft, but for the average penis, which is about the same width all the way along except the head/glans, the difficult part is past once the head is inside.
Make sure the shaft was also lubricated, by the way, in case a "snag" from a dry area might cause discomfort.
Once safely inside, and once you've found the right angle, and everything is going well (basic sexual pumping works fine, here, but you may need to start out slower (though that's a good idea with coitus, too) and gentler), it may be a good idea to shift angle just slightly, so that the head of your penis is pressed more against the inside where the anus is closest to the prostate (men) or vagina (women). If you don't know where that is, you should have read the finger segment. So there.
This will make things, perhaps in a subtle way but in a way that will accumulate in effect, more stimulating for your lover. As for you, this is about the tightest form of sex you're going to encounter, which many people find very stimulating. Of course if this is involving an artificial device instead of a penis, of course that doesn't apply.
It's worth note that the sphinctor is always slightly torn by this, according to doctors. This isn't necessarily a big deal, you get lesions (cuts/tears) inside your mouth every time you brush, too, and yet you get along just fine doing that three times a day for your whole life. If you're comfortable then I'd think it's not really damage worth notice...but that tearing is why anal sex probably the cause of more HIV/AIDS transmission than all other forms of transmission combined. So, even if you haven't bothered with a condom for other kinds of sexual behavior, the odds here go from hundreds of thousands to one against transmission (by other sexual means) down to hundreds to one against (by my analysis of the CDC/NIH data), and so you might consider using one if there's any question of someone not knowing they're already infected.
Once you've done the full penetration thing a few times with your lover, and the penetrat-ee is getting to the point where relaxation is easy, and pain not really an issue (for some people it never is, or they like it, but it's necessary to have addressed the rest), you can consider trying more unusual positions and methods.
Like, for instance, the person being penetrated being on top. This is a very big mistake for a beginner, because one tightens one's butt muscles to hold them up when straddling a lover, but it is actually (once pain isn't a worry) a very nice position that people often don't think to try. If not for the butt-tightening, this would be a great first position, actually, because it gives the penetrated control over how fast things progress.
Another position, which is actually somewhat awkward but which some people find erotic, is standing up. If this simply means facing away and bending over a bit, the tightening of butt muscles is only a minor problem...but if it involves (yes, this even works with two guys) facing each other and having one leg, say, up on a table/counter, the tightening can become a real issue.
Don't forget the mutual stimulation. This (anal sex, not necessarily standing anal sex) can be the perfect way to try to time orgasms to happen simultaneously, and yet have the one doing the penetrating actually be doing the stimulating, too. Again I must refer you to (this page is already too long, without me repeating other pages) the cunnilingus and fellatio pages for hand techniques that work brilliantly for giving your lover orgasms of a power and timespan otherwise almost impossible.
OK, that's enough for now...whew.
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Advanced Fellatio Techniques and Secrets
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Posted:Sep 17, 2016 8:37 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2024 5:6 am
6174 Views
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When I published Advanced Cunnilingus Techniques and Secrets, I included a comment about perhaps doing a fellatio counterpart. Well, I've gotten quite a few requests, and demands, that follow through, especially with the How to Swallow without it Tasting Bad part. So, OK, here it is...
On the other hand, it was the number of unsolicited questions on the subject that caused me to write Advanced Anal Sex Techniques, for those of you who want to know about that subject.
There are two ways one could become expert enough at fellatio to write this page: By being really good at it, or by having been subjected to the attentions of people who were even better at it. Consider me the latter.
As I've said before, the best part of sex is giving pleasure to your partner. But #2 on my personal list, behind going down on my lover, is being gone down upon myself. And I've had a couple of partners who were mind-blowingly good at this. I made a point of learning what it is they did, and how, as well as having simply learned what felt best on me.
Basic Guidelines
First, everything here is a generalization. "Most guys" means most guys, not all guys. With that in mind...
Most guys are very different than women, when it comes to what they enjoy. With women, starting out very slowly is more important. With guys, there is a much better chance that the guy will be impatient, and there is most definitely a lower overall standard as to what most guys will enjoy.
When starting out, the best bet is to start slowly, and indirectly. Men tend to be more visual than women, stereotypically, so part of taking your time would include almost touching...kissing around the rest of his body (depending on what's accessible under the circumstances), caressing, but not necessarily actually touching his erotic zones, yet.
When doing this, remember the "many guys get impatient" rule. The longer you can drag out each step (while still making progress), the better, but some guys don't want much of this at all, and if you pay attention it should become obvious.
Unfortunately, another general difference is that guys are less expressive. This is a shame, because it keeps them from enjoying it as much, as well as making it harder for you to tell what works with them. I cases like that, talking about them perhaps being more expressive, especially by telling them it excites you (hopefully this is true), is the best bet...but only if your relationship (or their personality) is secure enough to allow it.
The other day, on Don & Mike (radio gods), a woman caller bragged that her nickname was "eight seconds", meaning the time it took her to bring a guy to orgasm from fellatio. While a sizable portion of guys do actually like that, it is not the way to give the best orgasm. In fact, it's the worst way. Remember that some guys do prefer it, though.
See, the longer a guy is "tortured" (as one of the best fellatio artists I know puts it), the stronger his orgasm will be. "tortured" means "kept sexually excited, and stimulated, but not actually allowed to have an orgasm".
DO NOT be afraid to use your hands. If he's not one of those get-it-over-quick (GIOQ) types, there are many things you simply cannot do with your mouth, but can with your hands. Specific techniques in the advanced section.
Even among eroginous zones, don't stick only to the penis. Some guys have more sensitive nipples than most women, for example (I'm one of those guys, in fact).
The scrotum/gonads (I mostly use technical terms, just to keep things consistent...I can write great erotic literature, but that's not what this article's about) are also essential, if he's not a GIOQ type.
The cheeks of the butt, on both men and women, actually have some automatic sexual response linked to them, especially from repeated pressure. This is because our distant ancestors often had sex "doggy style", and so a patting sensation on the butt was a good standard signal for hormones to start moving. Guys have it too, for the same reason they have nipples. A good butt massage, or perhaps gently rhythmic pressure, can really get some guys going.
The anus should be carefully mentioned here. I say carefully because, of course, a lot of guys feel uncomfortable with attention to it. But it is an erotic zone, especially because it includes the prostate gland. But more, again, in the advanced section.
Once he can't take it any more, or you can't, the question of spitting versus swallowing comes up. Some people, in an attempt to not offend or upset, claim that it's not really a big deal. But it is, overall. Of course plenty of guys really don't care, or don't even like their lover swallowing, while even more haven't had the chance to find out the difference. But for most guys swallowing makes a (positive) difference. This isn't just because it feels better, or more intimate. It's also, perhaps even mainly, because spitting, or evading the ejaculation altogether, brings on (even if they consciously know it's not the case) a sense of rejection (conscious or subconscious). For a woman, imagine a guy starting to go down on you and then making sputtering noises and wiping your juices frantically from his tongue and lips. You might find it a bit disappointing, if not just plain hurtful, wouldn't you. If you're a guy reading this, then you don't need an example, you've probably had it done to you. But most guys are used to lovers not swallowing, so I only bring this up so we've made clear which way's more likely to work "best".
Don't forget that, though guys have a different kind of insecurity than women, they do have frail egos...they just hide it more. So excited smiles/faces and noises can, with some guys, make a big difference in how much they enjoy it.
Condoms This is your call. The odds of the blow-ee catching HIV/AIDS from the blow-er are probably about the same as if you were shaking hands. The odds of the person sucking/swallowing catching it are way less than the odds of transmitting HIV/AIDS by coitus, and astronimically less than catching it from anal sex, which makes up probably more instances of transmission than all other forms of transmission combined. In fact, there is little evidence at all of HIV/AIDS being transmitted to someone who was performing fellatio, aside from a few people who had a form of gum disease that resulted in a lot of open cuts in their mouth. Oh, it's worth note that you get tiny cuts in your mouth when you brush your teeth, though they heal in minutes, so you might want to avoid brushing right before fellatio. Try chewing gum instead, I guess. Heh.
Advanced Techniques
Swallowing (without it tasting really bad)
This is possible. In fact, only a mental barrier stands between those who "can't" and those who can. But you have to know the technique. Oh, I should point out that a large minority of people enjoy the taste, either for the flavor or because bringing that kind of pleasure to their lover is so wonderful.
But a larger number think it can taste pretty bad. This depends a lot on the guy himself (each guy tastes different, some very much so), and also on what they eat (rumor has it that fruit makes it taste better, and fatty foods make it taste worse, as do some spices).
The trick is to not taste it at all. This sounds too simple to be true, but:
When a guy starts to cum, the typical response is to try to pace it a bit... to hold it in one's mouth for a moment before swallowing. This is the only reason one tastes it.
Instead, just start swallowing, immediately and hard. If you can get te tip into the back of your mouth without having a gag reflect problem (more on that later), the ejaculation will go completely down your throat without you tasting it at all. All that's left is a vague aftertaste, and even that is much weaker than if you had allowed it to stay in your mouth. This technique fast-swallowing actually feels better, to a lot of guys, than if you had paced it normally.
Deep Throating (overcoming the gag reflex)
A penis in the back of one's mouth sometimes makes them "gag". So does a finger, or a banana, actually.
I put quotes around "gag" because it's sorta an illusion. The "trick" to not "gagging" is to not interrupt the reflex. What, technically, is happening is that your body is trying to swallow, and a finger, penis, or banana doesn't cooperate. Some people can learn to just resist/ignore the reflex, but even better is to turn it into a real swallow. I believe (don't try it at home) that's how sword swallowers do it. Certainly it's how "deep throat" technique people do it. It's really just that simple. When you would have felt like gagging, you swallow. I, personally, have confirmed this with a banana, and a finger.
This isn't just for swallowing (which it helps). It can feel very, very good for fellatio overall.
Texture (don't just keep repeating a single motion)
But don't forget texture. OK, the largest minority of guys doesn't care at all about variety (in a single session), he just wants rhythmic pumping. But in that case most of these techniques are wasted on him, anyway. But the rest of guys, a majority, are in various categories of liking at least some change at some point during a specific fellatio session. I should bring up the texture thing at the end of every section, but to save time and space I'll just hope you remember this paragraph. Switch from one technique to another every so often during a session, if he seems to respond well to that. Try to make the change smooth and natural, don't just stop one thing and start another. And we're not talking about switching every few seconds...more like every few minutes, maybe even longer.
Various Other Oral Techniques
Sucking really hard
Some guys hate this, but some are amazed at how good it feels. This is especially good as a "texture" (variety) change during a blowjob. This doesn't just mean sucking at one constant pressure...to really amaze him, try sucking hard just on the out-stroke, or just on the in-stroke (a more subtle effect), or actually pausing any motion while doing it.
Licking
You may think this is obvious, but it's not, really. Especially since many guys seem to just expect a rhythmic head-bobbing sorta suck-fest. But licking is another technique that can be surprisingly effective. Especially at two points - Early on, before you've actually touched his penis and are (in theory) exciting him by working up to it. Licking is a great way to make first contact. The other time is when you've prolonged things until he's so hard and excited that breathing on him seems to get him close. Trace the lines and textures of his head (glans), down the ridge of his shaft (the side away from his belly/abdomen, more on that later), his balls (more on that later), and even the exact point where the inside of his thigh meets the skin of his scrotum, on each side. That last spot almost deserves its own section, because it can be very effective. Especially, again, early on before you've focused on his penis, or after he's really, really close. That area can also be sucked on, at other times...in some men this is very stimulating.
Giving him the shaft
The line down the shaft of his penis, on the side opposite where his penis would touch his abdomen if pressed against it, is one of the best-kept secrets. This is because its effect isn't obvious at first. But firm, rhythmic stimulation at some point along the line down his penis on that side (where exactly it is depends on the person) can have a startling, strong effect. Depending on the situation, this can be done with fingers, the tongue, or firm sucking (just on that area).
Having a ball
This varies so much from guy to guy that it's kinda hard to nail down. Some guys are almost indifferent to their balls/scrotum being given attention, or are even uncomfortable with it...but more find it at least a nice change, some find it fantastic. Various techniques include sucking a whole "ball" into one's mouth, and gently fondling it with the tongue, while it's there. This can't be done for very long without becoming uncomfortable, though. Or licking about firmly at them when not in the mouth, or to suck at the skin itself.
I don't think I'll go much into analingus/anal sex. That would probably require a whole separate article. (OK, I got enough questions about it that I decided to write an article on it: Advanced Anal Sex Techniques) Suffice it to say that a minority of people find this very stimulating, and technically it should be, considering the proximity to vaginal sexual nerves (women) and the prostate(men)...but most people are little (or more) uncomfortable with it, performing or receiving.
But, nearby, one has the base of the scrotum, going in a line toward the anus. There is a spot along there which can be licked, or better yet gently pushed with a finger in a rhythmic fashion, that stimulates the prostate. This allows one to avoid the whole butt thing, if they're uncomfortable with it, and still get a little of the almost magical effect that stimulating the prostate can have. This may need to be something done rhythmically for more than a little while, with the penis being stimulated at the same time, to really work well. Gentle, but firm.
Hands
A lot of the best techniques involve hands. If you or he insists on sticking to purely oral, then a lot of amazing stuff is missed.
First, there's obviously caressing. This can be done all over the body, and not just during the initial build-up phase. This is also a great thing to do during pauses, when prolonging things when he's too close to orgasm too soon.
The Cock Pull
One really effective trick for direct attention to the penis is to use both hands, but only in one direction. Saliva may be enough for this, depending on the situation...but some additional lubricant, preferably oil-based, may be necessary. Starting at the base, slide a hand up toward the tip, placing the other hand by the base. Just before it comes off of the tip, start the other hand moving up from the base toward the tip. While doing that, put the other hand down on the base. Keep this up, slowly getting faster. This works great with a really hard penis (and it's so different/stimulating that he'll probably have to look (or ask, if it's dark) to see what's going on)...but it's also a great trick for someone who's not erect yet (or even having trouble with it). This, obviously, is the one sure way to have a pumping-type stimulation whether hard or not. It's my understanding that this works miracles on some people who, say, are using blood pressure medication or have some other erectile problem. The opposite works, too, though only with an erect penis. I mean starting on the top and sliding down to the base, starting the other hand on the tip before the first finishes, et cetera, back and forth.
The Drum
If you want to really amaze him, and have him trying to find out what you're doing, try this - gently wrap a thumb and index finger around his nuts, to pull them (again, gently) away from his body slightly, until you have a slight sort of surface tension on the "end" (spot farthest from his body), a bit like a bulging drum. Then gently (OK, with a very few people it can be more forceful, but work your way up to it) run your tongue in a circle around that "end" area. If one right (and it's hard to get just right), it creates a really amazing sensation. This won't get most people to orgasm, but it does feel really good. With a few people you can even use your fingertip. Or fingernail, though to me that feels a bit too much like a knife.
Hands are also a good backup plan for when your mouth tires. The best tactic is make switching back and forth a normal part of your technique, so it's not obvious if/when you do need to take a rest break for your mouth.
OK, there's a ton more I could write...but hey, there's also a lot I didn't include in Advanced Cunnilingus Techniques. I'll probably get back and spruce both of them up, eventually.
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