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Left Coast Lifestyle
Posted:Aug 26, 2019 8:46 pm
Last Updated:Sep 9, 2019 5:42 am

At mama’s, offshore San Diego. Lotsa beautiful people. A Navy town. Our Navy.

Been pretty and Sister refuses the electric run the AC all day. Mama likes it anyway...I’m tired of sweating but the exposure will serve well on Opening Day Sept. 1. And then there’s the flies. Having shoo flies or sweat at dinner sucks.

We purged the house of most everything related her second husband got ousted a facility up the coast a tad. He is a bit demented but well taken care of.

Sure wish I had a woman-friend this way entertain.
Humbled by the Brazos
Posted:Aug 5, 2019 4:51 pm
Last Updated:Aug 11, 2019 4:33 am

So my friend invited me go with him down the river fish. I had been several times before, and it's pretty nice except for the first time when we got ate up by buffalo flies. Them suckers some nasty welts!

So he had left some throw lines the night before but they were empty. We rebaited those with dead shad and continued down the sandbar the spot where his buddy had drug some in the day before.

Well, we couldn't even get a bite over 5 hours using minnows and dough and chicken liver. Fuck me runnin'... The landowner told me they was flush with them at Costco.

The current was pretty strong but I grabbed aholt of a bleach bottle I brought for flotation and waded on into the river as far as the current started pulling me forward, About tit was as far as I could get, This was yards off the bank at most. But the water felt good and the walking was easy and I didn't spill my beer or drown.

The thing we were missing were a of sunbathing chicks and a margarita machine. That's when Frank got the idea of river tours and a spot like ours to fall at. Go the bathroom, get a margarita, some pics, etc. Ah, Polock Capitalism at its finest!

We didn't have all that much going for us fishing-wise. We didn't get there 10am. The water was 70's. We couldn't reach/find any holes of cold water....wah wah wah

But, we drank tough, smoked tough, fished tough, and laughed our asses off at the Democrats.
1 comment
I Just Want to Meet a Normal Girl
Posted:Jul 25, 2019 5:31 pm
Last Updated:Aug 2, 2019 3:06 pm

Ah, you one funny man... there ain’t no normal girls no more!

In the old days, a gal on a site like this would least meet you for lunch. For fuck sakes...It was on the news the other day how 1/3 of chicks on a date these days only do it for the meal. And that’s jake by me, because I like to eat and drink, and smoke well. Buddy...

Here’s one dream date. I meet you at the local Mexican restaurant. We share a couple or 3 margs and you follow me back to the farm. You will immediately recognize the score. I live in the woods in complete privacy. With 2 and an Old Lady that hasn’t kissed in years and doesn’t suck dick and is on anti-depressants. I tell her she is just like her momma...Need I continue?
Sorry, I’m a little slow on the uptake
Posted:Jul 25, 2019 5:11 pm
Last Updated:Aug 11, 2019 4:33 am

So I get into this deal (I suppose this is what a “” is all about. The very nice looking older lady was very direct in her approach and said how she wasn’t getting any home, and she didn’t mind traveling, and how she wanted to get together and do it in the deer blind.

Well, my dumb ass falls for it hook, line, and sinker. Alas, it turns she (if it even was a she) was just “fantasizing”. C’mon dude...

That’s like crying wolf. Forget all the romantic allusions and double-entendres I employ so well. Ok, so maybe I didn’t play that one quite right...
Chasing Birds
Posted:Jul 20, 2019 7:56 pm
Last Updated:Aug 19, 2019 7:25 am

I"m getting posts about Mexico and Argentina. We usually just let them lie...
Stunt Dick Opportunity
Posted:Jul 15, 2019 5:01 pm
Last Updated:Aug 9, 2019 1:29 pm

A chick I know and her 2 girlfriends have rented an airbnb just down the road. I committed take care of them. Cooking, cleaning, and whatever else may be required. No strings.

Right down my fairway...
James McMurtry
Posted:Jul 6, 2019 2:53 pm
Last Updated:Jul 31, 2019 12:36 pm

Saw him last night solo acoustic Main Street Crossing in Tomball. Superb show, he's a fantastic lyricist/storyteller. Great listening room if you've never been. He has a regular Austin gig at the Continental Club but I don't get up that ways often.

Maybe one of you stylish chicks can gather the moxie to accompany MSC some night. A wide variety of top-name artists come through its doors.
A Tale of Two Dicks
Posted:Jun 20, 2019 3:43 pm
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2019 2:32 pm

So my recent physical, I tell my GP how becoming increasingly impatient and angry and making rash decisions (not the least of which is evidenced by my appearance on Meelp).

She mentioned Wellbutrin and I said I had been scripted that once before in my life when I was deemed depressed. So I've been on it for a while now.

The good news is I am calmer, and I drink a little less, and I've dropped a few pounds. The bad news is it's made my dick less sensitive, primarily the head and tip area. It seems like it's harder to get to orgasm and when I do, not much comes . Lucky married to a sexless chic...
Well, this is it...
Posted:May 27, 2019 6:04 pm
Last Updated:Jul 18, 2019 4:22 pm

After Sunday morning sex, and late-afternoon Mexican food Margaritaville, we get home and I ask her to turn on her hotspot. She says, "Why, so you can watch porn?" She then proceeded to bring Meelp, and my friend North who turned on to Tom Connors. And how I had left Meelp open but not logged on for her to run into...

And then she began to run down for all my supposed affairs, all this after she fucked earlier morning. And I explained to her how I will not be relegated to sexless status, just because she has arrived there due to poor management practices. I told her she's just like her Momma...

So when she asks me what I did today, and I say she doesn't want to know the answer, 'nuff said.
Posted:May 23, 2019 4:16 pm
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2019 6:49 pm

Thats what the asian doctor told my 82 year old aunt when she came to him complaining of issues commonly suffered at that age.

I got a healthy dose of what its like to get old in these days. I visited a 90 year old lodge brother today, condemned by his wife to an Assisted Living Memory Care type facility. He was having trouble in one leg and had suffered a fall or two in his home. He also was having some memory issues, but not all that bad. So now he is imprisoned within the facility, while his chippy wife continues her Mercedes convertible lifestyle unimpeded.

He is in a 'W x 25' long room. A bed, a chair, and cable tv. Not sure when the memory care takes place. hard to believe a guy would let himself be rooked into a deal like this...
Get Chipped
Posted:May 13, 2019 12:18 pm
Last Updated:Jul 17, 2019 5:11 pm

So, I played poker until dawn thirty in the morning and finally got back to the farm around 3:30am. Both dogs were out in the driveway and I went to bed. I woke around 7;30a to find both dogs inside, so I jet them out.

Well, one never came home Sunday, and remained gone when I woke this morning. I checked my phone and sure enough there was a message from the former owner. I called the folks and sure enough they had him and he was in good shape. I told them I would be right out...

Looks like some Do-gooder had come across my dog, likely playing near the road, and decided he was a stray and drove him 50 miles to the Texas A & M Small Animal Hospital. He was wearing a collar but had lost his id tag at some previous point and I had failed to see .

The Clinic accepted him under their Good Samaritan Program. They scanned him and found the chip from his original adoption, and emailed the foriginal owner who texted me the whereabouts details.

I drove on out and fetched him, declining to sign the financial responsibility document offered me at the desk. There were no charges.

I got my back in about 24 hours because of chip. Without it, his fate would have surely been less favorable.
Was it Something I Said?
Posted:May 2, 2019 3:53 pm
Last Updated:Jun 9, 2019 4:34 am

So this anonymous "young lady" flirted with . I viewed her profile, and I responded positively, and soon we were texting within Meelp. She asked for and I gave her my cell number and soon we were texting from our personal phones.

The chat initially mentioned "compensation" but soon changed to hard numbers. And ok, to an extent, with the for concept. I would prefer to wine and dine and charm you with my intelligence and wit. Then, if you deem worthy, we can move forward to the good stuff.

Alas, the sticking point to getting the deal done was her(?) unwillingness to move forward unless I first sent her a picture of moi with some sort of proof of date (like a newspaper front page). I politely responded nobody could possibly make all the shit in my profile, and everything in it is straight . And it is...

She then texted , after informing the above was for her safety, "Good luck in your search". Oh well, the education was worth the price of admission.

I have not had a girlfriend in the age of messaging. Is this really how it is done? Guess I shouldda signed Lonely Christian Geezers

C'est tu
I Think of her Sister When I'm Fucking Her
Posted:Apr 26, 2019 2:56 pm
Last Updated:Jul 18, 2019 4:21 pm

triple gonna light it up tonight...

Shes 6 years than her sister. Has some tats. Lives in Santa Fe. Husband killed himself, likely from what afflicts me. Dearth of pussy.

Likely she is as sexless as her sister, and her as well. An aromantic family if ever there was one. Her tits are even bigger than my wifes largely because she weighs more. If you are into floppy tits, which you can count me as 0 percent supporter, all the chicks in that family are super well-qualified. If only they recognized the power of tits.

I can tell you folks from experience, if your chick is embarrassed by her tits, thats not good. The good news is, there are very good surgeons who can sculpt her body to a point of mutual satisfaction. Unless, of course, she dont do pain. All I can do is offer to help. Why go through old age with a Turkey Neck and big saggy boobs? Cmon man...especially if you have someone willing to

And of course the real risk is, you to get her all fixed up and she finds some limp-dick urban dude who only needs companionship. But, as a rebuttal to all the chicks there, it is possible that after undergoing reconstructive surgery at my expense, my woman could -come alive- and realize how she has been from the start. And what likely made wed her.

Well, that shit aint happening. Shes happy as she is. Rubs a lot of creme on herself...aint doing nothing for that neck Sister...

I'll be back.

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
Left Coast Lifestyle (2)HAMONMAN
Aug 26, 2019 8:55 pm
Humbled by the Brazos (1)HAMONMAN
Aug 5, 2019 4:58 pm
I Just Want to Meet a Normal Girl (8)s2ndegree
Jul 26, 2019 10:53 am
Sorry, I’m a little slow on the uptake (14)HAMONMAN
Jul 25, 2019 6:49 pm
Chasing Birds (12)ltrskr
Jul 21, 2019 4:29 am
Stunt Dick Opportunity (4)Btxmn
Jul 15, 2019 9:54 pm
James McMurtry (10)HAMONMAN
Jul 6, 2019 7:44 pm
A Tale of Two Dicks (12)HAMONMAN
Jun 20, 2019 4:23 pm
Well, this is it... (5)Glenmoril88
May 27, 2019 8:39 pm
U O (9)2Saltie2
May 23, 2019 4:59 pm
Get Chipped (4)2Saltie2
May 13, 2019 1:58 pm