Victoria Zdrok, Ph.D.
You are not alone. Men are universally concerned with the size of their penis, wondering whether it measures up to those of other males and whether it is capable of satisfying a woman. So does size really matter? The answer is a qualified no. Penile size is to men what breast size is to women: something that affects self-esteem but is disproportionate to its importance, at least as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned. As you will see, chances are your penis is average in size, and an average penis is perfectly fine for the majority of hot women.
Even though the length, width, and shape of the penis vary substantially, ranging from only a few centimeters to the longest one on record, which measured in at 14 inches, 88 percent of men have penises between five to seven inches long when erect. This is an adequate size for 90 percent of all women. Indeed, the average woman's vagina is only about three inches long (about four and a half inches long when fully aroused). To accommodate a longer or thicker penis, it can stretch to fit; however, such stretching does not necessarily increase a woman's pleasure. Moreover, a long penis is often uncomfortable, as it tends to hit the cervical area, which most women don't find pleasurable. A longer penis also tends to be less rigid than a shorter one due to the greater blood volume needed to fill it out.
Penis girth has a higher correlation to female sexual satisfaction than penis length. Because the majority of vaginal nerve endings are located at the entrance of the vagina, wide penises with pronounced, mushroomlike corona heads may be more adept at stimulating these nerves. However, wide penises are definitely not comfortable for oral and anal interactions. And the majority of penises are between three and six inches in girth, while an average vaginal circumference is about 2.4 inches. Though most vaginas can stretch to fit a thicker penis, many women find such stretching uncomfortable, particularly if they are not fully aroused.
Does this mean penis size does not matter at all? No. A smaller penis (less than three inches when erect) might fail to sufficiently stimulate some women, while an extremely long penis (more than seven inches) might make deep penetration painful. In addition, some women may prefer larger penises for reasons other than sexual satisfaction. Just like some men find large breasts a turn-on, some women find large penises to be visually arousing, regardless of the practical implications of size. But she might be wowed by a huge penis, yet prefer a lover with an average-size one.
Of all the Pets I have talked to, only one emphasized the importance of a guy's penis for her arousal. She also admitted that she is only able to climax from intercourse. A majority of the centerfolds rated oral skills as more important to their sexual satisfaction than penis size (6.5 out of ten was the mean importance of the penis size, and eight out of ten was the mean importance of oral skills). The 1993 Pet of the Year, Julie Strain, said, "Penis size is not important to me because it is not how I come." A long, agile tongue (� la Gene Simmons) probably gets higher scores from hot women than a long penis does!
Of course, in addition to being a sexual object, your penis is a symbol of virility, dominance, and masculine power. From that perspective, you might worry not so much about its ability to satisfy your hottie, but how it compares to other men she has been with. Perhaps you first became anxious about the size of your penis when you compared your undeveloped phallus to that of your father or older brother. Or maybe you used to look down at your penis while comparing it to those of other boys in the locker room. To get a better estimate of your size, look at yourself in the mirror instead of looking down.
Although women may talk about being thrilled by seeing the penis of a well-hung stud, in reality, the size of the relaxed or flaccid penis does not really matter because during an erection, the penis may increase to several times its flaccid size. About 90 percent of all men have penises that range from three to five inches when flaccid. But some guys with below average flaccid penises end up with above-average erections. These guys, or "growers," prove that an erection is the great equalizer.
Has she had bigger ones? No matter how curious you are, never, ever ask a woman how your penis compares to those of other lovers she has had. You will come across as an insecure chump, and she will never tell you the truth anyway. Instead, no matter what you are packing, carry it with pride. How can you expect her to like your penis if you don't fully accept it yourself?
Remember, even a below-average-size penis can perform more than adequately when attached to a sensitive and skillful lover. Only 30 percent of women consistently achieve orgasm through intercourse, and the majority of women require additional clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasms. Learning how to make the most of positions that maximize contact with her clitoris or that achieve maximum G-spot stimulation will put you far above most lovers she has ever had.
Even if your penis is on the smaller side, it may be superior in other ways to previous penises she has had. It might have smoother, softer skin than most, or a pronounced corona, or it might curve in a way that delivers greater pleasure. Penises that curve upward are perfectly suited for stimulating the G spot (except for an extreme curvature, which cannot penetrate a vagina and is a possible sign of Peyronie's disease). I once had a lover who was extremely selfconscious about his penis, which he considered crooked, as it had a pronounced downward bent. But once I showed him how to utilize his curvature to please a woman, he was no longer unhappy with his penis! In the doggie-style position, he was able to give me the most powerful G-spot orgasms. What he considered to be a defect turned out to be a rare, delicious advantage!
What is far more important than the size is the "fit" between the couple, as anatomical compatibility can make a difference. Petite women often dislike the feel of a large penis, while some bigger women prefer more filling stimulation. In my own experience, there is definitely a big difference in how well you match with some partners. Some guys I literally merged with, while with others we seemed to require extra effort to find a comfortable position for penetration. So if you really want to get her feedback, ask her what she thinks of how you fit together.
Finally, because every penis is attached to a man, when a woman feels passionate and turned on by a man, she is likely to imbue him with positive characteristics and perceive his penis as larger than it really is. In other words, it's more about the man than his manhood.
