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Original Article

Growing Pains
by Tristan Taormino

Tristan Taormino is the author of several sensationally sexy and informative books including Down and Dirty Sex Secrets, Pucker Up: A Hands-on Guide to Ecstatic Sex, and The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. News flash: Tristan is just back from Porn Central -- L.A. -- where she directed a new porn flick, Tristan Taormino's House of Ass, which will be out in December (just in time to stuff some stocking). According to Tristan's spokesperson, "It was a really fun shoot, great cast, and we were really happy with the final product!" From college campuses to sex toy boutiques

(View Full Article)




Comments

8629bird 45 M
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your so right, i think that more people should understand
as you.

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great article.

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awesome article good advice

guy1234563 40 M
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This was a really great post.

Piper2nite 48 M
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Interesting article - thanks for the advice/knowledge!

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Its worth reading, and it wasn't too boring.

guy1234563 40 M
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this was hot.

guy1234563 40 M
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really hot article. i enjoyed it.

guy1234563 40 M
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Yeah this is a great article.

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Great Article! We have been together 12 years and last year
was one of the hottest for sex for us. One thing though, cars,
candles, hottubs etc, cannot change someones mind that
doesn't want to have sex. It is all in the attitude.
Even if that person has sex, it all comes down to whether
they WANT to or not. No amount of material things can make
someone want to have sex.
Keeping it fresh comes down to communication of desires,
but when one person is communicating that they are not interested,
then that is when you hit a brick wall.

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Very well written article!

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Excellent advice!

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I must say I've experienced a simular situation, I
was suffering from low labido after narrowing down the
possible cause I relized it was the birth control I was using.
This article is going to be useful to a lot of people.

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Très bon article...

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I liked her last article better.

solwhiskey 42 M
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The article treats a complex issue with sensitivity. Interesting
to read, and informative.

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I needlove my wife is going through the same thing now. We
have gone from very fulfilling fantasies to she just lies
there, when we do have sex which is infrequent. We discovered
it is her birthcontrol. We are switching to something a
little more hormonally reliable. This was a great and insightful
article.

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Great article information like this could save a lot of
relationships.

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ineedlove0690: It's interesting you mentioned a
particular birth control method changed your sexual interest,
habits and frequency. Perhaps you might share which type/form/brand
of birth control was involved, the effects you noted it
having and the alternative(s) that work (for you) now.
I'm sure your response would be useful to a lot of people
too. guy12345653: Thats a lot of posts for nothing really
said, and your comments hardly reflect the article contents.
Are you confused or just chasing posting points?

rm_conflag 55 M
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In the beginning it's called infatuation and that
grows (at differing lengths of time) to either become some
type of love (it's different for every person) or it
results in the dissolution of the relationship. Nothing
ever stays the same. If your relationship is exactly the
same now as it was 20 years ago - there's something wrong.

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This was a great article. It explains alot of reasons my
soon to be ex were having problems. If I had known some of
this beforehand It may have saved my marriage, but now I
know for future reference.

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Excellent read

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I can completely agree. I just had a baby 2 months ago and
I have struggled at times with wanting sex. After talking
about it a lot with my husband things are back to normal....or
as normal as they can be with a baby that doens't like
to sleep!

jmanhas19 38 M
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quite possibly one of the best articles i've read on
Meelp.com

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Thank you I have learned a lot, it was well written as well.


Thank you.

cpt6329 60 M
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A great article with good advice.

jromeo669 54 M
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Excellent article with genuine, great perspective. Thank
you

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And YES they to all openly discuss sex, other wise I would
have no idea about what all is going on.

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Informative article and some interesting feedback.

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Not to bad at all.

comgetsome 45 M
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Excellent article. Informative and though provoking
while keeping the attention of the reader. Looking forward
to more articles from you in the future.

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What is described in this article happens across the board.
I have lost count of how many relationships I know of that
have gone through the exact same thing. Most of the time
(not always) it is the female who does the about face. Why
is this? This man has by far gone the extra mile as many I know
and the woman still doesn't desire to spend more time
sexually. No one can ever seem to go the next step with the
advice as to what to do next. Good Job on the article, it begins
to touch on it. But there still has to be something more,
most of the couple I know, the females do not and will not
masturbate. The guys do not get it and neither do I. Most
of the females are now one way sex and that's it and not
very often. Many of the men are considering looking eslewhere
for additional sex, How can they get the females to "Wake
UP!" Please add more ideas and suggestions. I have
5 friends that are near the affair point...

georgiapie 41 F
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I agree with your article, things changed after I had my
son. It was not until I begin to go out on my own that- we started
to see that I need time away from the baby and time for me.
I know where she is coming from-

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good article...very real situation and good advise given...

4play4her 46 M
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I agree with the women here. After our son was born, i was
turned off and so wasn't she. but after 6 months of talking
about it and gettig back into the groove, we were back at
it. It was still weird when he was up walking around though.
kids deffinately chage it all up.

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Just wanted to say I love the article, i hope lots more read
it...

sissy285 55 T
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What a great and informative article. It gave me alot of
insight into my own relationship.

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one can learn a lot from you thanks

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my wife had no problems after the first child - or the second
one - number three however saw a definite change and it took
us seven long months to find out it was due to the new vitamins
she was taking!!!!!!!


Once we worked out that what she was taking had decreased
her libido we changed that and hey presto - the go light was
back on!!!!!!!

Fort3471 52 M
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Really hits close to home. I dated and married my high school
sweatheart.....in the end it did not work out. A huge barrier
was our changing sexual needs.

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good article! learned a few things!

han2767 57 M
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great article. very informative.

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This is well written, but frankly the advice tried too hard
to be even-handed, when in fact Tom was doing everything
right.

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very well written article. Thank you for the info.

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OKAY...I WAS FEELING THAT ONE , LOVELY!!!

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I enjoyed this article. thx.

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good article but It doesnt matter what she promised or what
he bought her she has to feel like being intimate otherwise
nothing will work he would have been better off spending
money on finding out what was really stopping her feeling
intimate

anmorata 41 T
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people change, it's too bad but they do. if sex is just
as important to you as being together, you just have to open
up. great article!

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hot.fun.post

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that was quite informative

mudas2006 63 M
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very well written article. Thank you .

tgrfn01 54 M
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A good take on something everyone will face. A great perspective.

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Great article sweatheart. This is really the backbone
to ANY relationship. You really have a good line of thinking.
Keep up the good work.

rm_asanjz 39 M
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the artical is indeed very good. actually what happens
is that after baby one should not have sex for a year b'coz
this may make the vegina more loose and further reduce the
charm of having sex. better talk, kiss, foreplay thats
really good idea to maintain your sexual instinct

GeorgiaM44 62 M
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seems pretty straightforward and this probably happens
more than people think

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hmmm. a lot of different advices... Good artivcle for everyone..

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I guess we aree all differnt most women seem to geett more
out ofsex as the enter thier 30's and 40's, some
times it is hard for them to communicate whaat they realy
want and the presure of a familey and work can make things
diffucult at times, try maing your wife understand that
it is not just sex you want that you want to be with HER! that
pleasing her gives you great pleasuree and you want to be
able to do that, get a few of the fantasy books writtten for
women and read them to her, watch and try to find out whaat
trns her on. ask her out on a date! show up dressup and with
flowers just like you would haave if she where someone you
werree meeting for the first time. take her to dinner and
surprise her with a motel room.spend a evening at home doing
what she wants. dont bargin for sex, try to find time to be
alone and enjoy each other.

Chancy4now 41 M
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The all to common post-marriage or post-children switch
can be very frustrating, as I know. It feels like you bought
a pig-in-a-poke, though I would never call my wife a pig.
Or indicate that I "bought" her by marrying
her. Good article exploring these issues.

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great article

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After she had their son three years ago, she told him that
'it wasn’t right' for them to do some of the things
they used to do in bed. When I asked for specifics, she said
things like anal sex, spanking, and role playing."


This is SO true...... (I lived it)

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good article

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great article love it

freakme569 53 M
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very well written article

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This is a very very true article.

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I found this article very interesting. I think that many
people that are together for a long time begin to take each
other for granted. It's very sad but the saying is true,
you always hurt the one you love. You have to chose everyday
to stay in love after a while. If you don't think about
that going in, you shouldn't go.

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My wife had a similar expirience, but she is OK now... I think
that your alticle is going to help a lot of people.

mezo2 42 M
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well i'm not married and even not in a relation
but frankness and openness will solve the problem. i also
think that intimacy is not wrong and sex also is not wrong
.. so everyone thinking by getting old he or she should change
his/her sex life is ABSOLUTELY WRONG
because sex is one of the parts of life were u really become
one part of each other's soul and body .. and without
it in the life formula ..
everything changes to worse

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it's so true and i think this couldnt be more right

rm_jag6873 50 C
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Very good, no great advise.

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great article.. it's so true...

Robie43 77 M
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I was a 30 year old party animal when my son was born. During
the pregnancy, it occurred to me the requirements of being
a good father and husband would be different than being
a hot lover. As a result, my son slept between us until I changed
to night shift. Being a loving parent had become more important
to both of us than regular sex. Add more children and the
priorities have to change. Now I am approaching my sitieth
birthday. My wife has been gone 11 years and I share my house
with the son who mattered to me before he was born.

McColum 38 M
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Not looking forward to kids or any of this stuff...

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After 4 kids and a hysterectomy I had the same problem. And
no it wasn't lack of needing sex it was just because
of the mental frame of mind. After doing some review of my
mindframe, things couldn't be better. Sometimes
it's just in the head!

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Great article. Kids require a tremendous amount of attention
from both parents, and if there are more than one the demands
expand geometrically. We had three and the biggest change
was reshaping our lives to accomodate the needs of the children.
For us it meant giving up swinging for several years, until
the youngest was 16. Once they turn 16 you begin to get your
life back a little because the kids are out there expanding
their own horizons.

_SomeGuy_ 41 M
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Article is really well thought out and written extravagently.
The info will be helpful if I am ever in that kind of situation.

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very ggod sound advice it is a shame thatto many couple chose
to have new realtionships out sid ethe marrae and cheat
onthier loved one instead of talking and opening communiciation
to resolve these sorts of issues

rm_danxxx 38 M
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Keeping it fresh comes down to communication of desires,

but when one person is communicating that they are not interested,

then that is when you hit a brick wall...


Thanks.

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THIS ARTICLE IS GREAT ADVICE TO ANYONE WHO HAS HAD A CHILD
AND LOST THE ADVENTURE OF HAVING GOOD SEX! NICE ARTICLE.

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not too shabby

corky092 61 M
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It was an interesting article, good advice as you would
expect from an expert! The key to most problems is being
able to talk things through to togeather and respect each
other.

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good stuff!

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Great article and good advise

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that sucks... good job

Derk_069 44 M
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Thanks for writting that article! I'll use it for future
reference... Please write some more!

Derk_069 44 M
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Yes, the key to any relationship is communication! Those
involved must be open to one another. Again, thanks for
writting that article!

jesseromeo 65 M
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After 20 years of marriage, it does happen. Together we
grow and try other things. I opened up to her about my desires(bi).
We discuss everything, marriage is more than just sex.
We both talk with to our kids about life. We have one still
home and two on there own. My wife and still like to get wild,
just not as often! Nice to have sensual friends to add spice
in our life! Great article.

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good article. timely subject!

1st_lickem 71 M
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GREAT - more people should read this if they are serious
about saving their relationship with their significant
other. Two marriages have taught me this - if you can't
be there when your spouse is "down, " why should
you be there when he/she are "up?"
Trade offs never work.

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i am not too sure what to say about anything ever ok