I have been on this site before as Irish_Eyes, but that was a while ago. I had met a few great guys and people back then and am hoping to have the same type of experience this time around. PLEASE READ THE ENTIRE PROFILE BEFORE WINKING,FLIRTING, EMAILING, ETC. IF YOU DO NOT MATCH WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY ... DO .. NOT ... CONTACT ME!! YOU WILL BE WASTING YOUR TIME AND MINE!!!!! I am not looking for one night stands or the 'find them fuck them and flee' type of situations. I am also not going to drop everything, including my panties ( on the rare occasions that I am actually wearing them ) to go fuck you. If you get your boxers all twisted because I cannot or will not be able to rush on over to wherever you are located, then please go pound sand sideways until your eyes bleed and fall out ( said with all the love in my black lil heart ). Also, if in your initial email to me you include an alternative email address or a phone number, I guarantee that you will never hear from me and quite possibly get blocked/banned. Patience is a virtue, or so the saying goes. While you might be in some mad dash rush to get laid, I am not. So kindly take your man- self and get lost. (*disclaimer - yup .. I am a bitch at times. And yes, I am also VERY sarcastic to the point of making people want to go play in traffic .. BUT .. I can also make you laugh your ass off with the random shit I do and say. Eh, must be the Irish/Italian/German/Dutch/Russian in me. Oh yeah ... I am quite a handful, in case you didn't notice!! :] *) ( continuing with being a bitch ... ) I am also not .. I repeat ... NOT interested in little boys ... so for those of you under the age of 35, ( don't take this perally ). Seriously, I get the whole MILF thing ... but I just don't have the patience or the time to teach some young pup how to be a man. Just not interested at all. Further more ... I am not some size queen either. Oh I am sure that there are women that get their panties soaked if a guy has Cockzilla between his legs ... but I am not one of them. Hrmm .. what else? Oh yeah .. nothing peral but I really am not interested in hooking up with black men. Just not my thing either. Also not really interested in men that look like the long lost cousin of Big Foot. Dude, seriously .. shave that rug off and then I might be interested. Speaking of shaving ... yes I also require that you be shaved *down there*. If I want to floss after eating, I will use dental floss .. not your pubes. A friend suggested I needed an intermission in here somewhere so people can go grab a bite to eat, walk the dog, take a nap, etc etc ... soooo ... ***cue elevator music*** Ok ... we now continue with our regularly scheduled program ..... If you are attached, married, or otherwise dating someone else, I am really not interested. Congrats on having an 'open' relationship, but unless your woman is going to be there to put your cock in my pussy, I am not going to have anything to do with you .. at all. Also, if you are not local, then why bother? I am here to meet people, not get email buddies. So, unless you plan on flying me out on a regular basis to where you are, don't expect me to get all excited. And please, for the love of peanut butter and jelly French toast, be in decent shape. Yes, round is a shape ... just not the shape I am interested in. Granted, I have a few extra pounds and I am far from being Barbie, but trust me, that is a very temporary situation. I went through a very rough period after my ex-husband passed away, but am on track for getting healthy again and will be getting back into doing belly dancing, Zumba, running, etc. Not saying I am a fitness nut, but I CANNOT stand couch potatoes. Life is too fucking short to sit around scratching yourself while watching "I Love Lucy" re-runs. I do have piercings and tattoos so if that is an issue with you, then we will not click at all. I have my ears ( duh ), belly button, and nipples pierced, and not really planning on getting any other piercings at this time. I currently have 12 tattoos, and do plan on getting more. And, yes, one of those tattoos I plan on getting is the *beep beep* license plate/ stamps. :) You have to have a sense of humor ( obviously ), and the more warped, twisted, evil, etc the humor ... the better. If you cannot laugh at how fucked up life can be sometimes, then .. wow .. how sad is that??? I would prefer someone that is about my height, but if you are around the 5'7" to 5'9" range that is alright. I am just not sure how things would work out if the guy is any shorter than that .. I mean seriously, if I can pick you up and throw you over MY shoulder instead of things being the other way around ... well .. ummmmm .... wow. I just cannot see that per being able to dominate me at all when I am in the mood to be rather submissive ( yes, guys, I can be rather submissive instead of very dominate and bitchy ). I love getting out of the house. Let's go to the beach and bbq and have a bon fire later. Or let's go back riding somewhere or hiking. Would love love LOVE it to go out dancing or go shoot a game or two of pool. Just don't take me out to throw darts ... because then I would be considered armed and dangerous. I mean seriously, think about it: you are giving something sharp and pointy to a per that is a Gemini/Cancer cusp ( good days = schitzo crab ... bad days = crabby schitzo ). For me to resist the urge to 'by accident' ( of course ) throw my darts so that they end up in someone's ear would be like asking Lindsey Lohan to guard your cocaine stash and expect it to all be there .. in other words - not gonna happen. Then again, they do say it is all fun and games .. until someone loses an eye. Ultimately, I would love to find the one guy that wants to be with just me; someone that is my best friend and lover; someone that gets my sense of humor and puts up with my randomness and my quirks; someone that I can love, honor, cherish, and annoy for the rest of his unnatural life. But, let's be real .... I honestly don't think he is out there ... or if he is out there, he got hit by a train and is now in a coma as a John Doe in some hospital.

My Ideal Person Someone that is between 5'8" to over 6' tall ... hair color not really that important nor is eye color. Please be in decent shape ( round is a shape .. yes .. just not the shape I am interested in ). You must have a sense of humor .. the darker, twisted, evil, warped, etc .. the better. Every now and then, they are okay .. but I much prefer blood, guts, things going *boom*, etc etc

Also, much prefer White guys ( or similar ). I am just not sexually attracted to Black men or Asian men, etc etc

What location do you fantasize about for a sexual encounter?:
A rollercoaster, The beach, A moving vehicle (i.e. car), The middle of a park, An airplane, A dark back alley, A movie theatre, The stands at a sporting event, A remote wilderness spot, Under a waterfall, My desk at work, A swimming pool or hot tub, A store dressing room, A hotel room, Anywhere

What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Receiving Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Toys (Vibrators/Dildos/etc.), Light Bondage, Spanking, Threesomes, Mutual Masturbation, Food Play, Making Home "Movies", Participating in Erotic Photography, Voyeurism, Handcuffs/Shackles, Blindfolds, Leather, Latex, Fisting, Massage

What factors are most important to you when looking for a sexual partner?:
Sexual experience, Physical attraction, Same/similar fetishes, Sexual appetite, Willingness to freely discuss and try anything, Creativity/Kinkiness level, A little of each

Have you ever had cybersex?:
I've tried it, but it's just not the same.

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